Great Honky Tonk Opening Lines

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

Thousands upon thousands of great ones but right now this one is in pole position for me:

"Last night, I broke the seal on a Jim Beam decanter /
That looks like Elvis" -- George Jones, "The King Is Gone (And So Are You)"

And it goes on to say...

"I soaked the label off a Flintstone Jelly Bean jar
I cleared us off a place on that
One little table that you left us
And pulled me up a big ole piece of floor

I pulled the head off Elvis
Filled Fred up to his pelvis
Yabba Dabba Doo, the King is gone
And so are you"

Now that is how you honky tonk. Supposedly the Possum got sued by Elvis Inc and Hanna Barbera over those lyrics, but..

 

 

[WhatTheBuck 28825]

I met a gin-soaked barroom queen in Memphis
She tried to take me upstairs for a ride
She had to heave me right across her shoulder
'Cause I just can't seem to drink you off my mind

 

Edited February 10, 2021 by WhatTheBuck

[deadshank 24653]

An empty glass

That last cigarette

It's closing time

And I'm drunk again 

[baboso 6057]

You sure look fine tonight, in the beer sign light.
Why did you seem surprised when I saw through your disguise.
All your friends were there and no one had a care.
They all just looked away in this Honky Tonk Masquerade.

[bschoolprof 6280]

I'm the honkey tonk man

[noharleyyet 2853]

Low down leavin' sun
I've done did everything that needs done
Woe is me, why can't i see
I'd best be leavin' well enough alone
Them neon light nights, couldn't stay out of fights
Keep a-hauntin' me in memories
Well, there's one in every crowd, for cryin' out loud
Why was it always turnin' out to be me

[noharleyyet 2853]

3 hours ago, deadshank said:

An empty glass

That last cigarette

It's closing time

And I'm drunk again 

Gary was my divorce laureate....

[Noah Fence 480]

Well my buckle makes impressions
On the inside of her thigh
There are little feathered Indians
Where we tussled through the night
If I'd known she was religious
Then I wouldn't have came stoned
To the house of such an angel
Too fucked up to get back home

[Steel Shank 9439]

She'd be hurt if she knew I was drinkin'
Cause one's too much and twelve's not enough
She knows how it messes up my thinkin'
How it makes me look for someone else to love

[Steel Shank 9439]

Been my friends all day
It's no good I'm still lonely
Seems that I just can't forget
My one and only
So there's just one thing left to do
If I intend to sleep tonight
Put the bottle on the bar
And let me do it up right

Please put the bottle on the bar
Where I can pet it
And take my address down
Before I forget it

[Noah Fence 480]

6 hours ago, noharleyyet said:

Gary was my divorce laureate....

Same

[Steel Shank 9439]

When you are sad and lonely and have no place to go
Call me up, sweet baby, and bring along some dough
And we'll go Honky Tonkin', Honky Tonkin'
Honky Tonkin', Honey Baby
We'll go Honky Tonkin' 'round this town

[Steel Shank 9439]

Each night I leave the bar room when it's over
Not feeling any pain at closing time
But tonight your memory found me much too sober
I couldn't drink enough to keep you off my mind

Edited February 11, 2021 by Steel Shank

[4th&Five 41701]

Coffee black, cigarettes
Start this day, like all the rest
First thing every morning that I do
Is start missing you

[Jerry Callo 8828]

Whiskey river take my mind . . . 

[Jerry Callo 8828]

I came crawling home last night, like many nights before
I finally made it to my feet as she opened up the door
And she said, "You're not gonna do this anymore."

She said, "I'm gonna' hire a wino to decorate our home . . .

[TexasBeta 1271]

There stands the glass that will ease all my pain
That will settle my brain, it's my first one today
There stands the glass that will hide all my fears
That will drown all my tears, brother, I'm on my way





King George’s version

[mr. sunshine 2836]

I’ve got a good woman at home who thinks I do no wrong 

But sometimes Lord she just ain’t always around

[Hornius Emeritus 12496]

On 2/10/2021 at 9:43 AM, noharleyyet said:

Gary was my divorce laureate....

 

That's what my friend Thomas said about Willie.

[OWLVIS 562]

Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad
So I had one more for dessert

[Hornius Emeritus 12496]

He was born in Oklahoma

And his wife is named Betty Lou Thelma Liz
He's not responsible for what he's doin

Cause his mother made him what he is

[DalTxHornFan 3122]

Well the Honky Tonks in Texas were my natural second home
The way you tip your hat to the ladies in the rose of San Antone

I grew up on music that we call western swing
It don't matter whose in Austin, Bob Wills is still the King

[noharleyyet 2853]

Well, I started on the whiskey pretty early this morning
That's alright, I was up all night
But I passed out before the sun came up
I really wanted to see one of those

[noharleyyet 2853]

When I was a young man
About 21 years old y'all
All I wanted was a stripper girlfriend
And a Gold Top Les Paul
Be careful of the things you wish for
You might get 'em

[EE2B 1565]

The morning sun made its way
Through the wind shield of my Chevrolet
Whiskey eyes and ashtray breath
On a chert rock gravel road
What the hell did I do last night
That's the story of my life
Like tryin' to remember words
To a song nobody wrote

[Cajun 11764]

Can't tell if I drink because she bitches

Or bitches because I drink

[bluto 4947]

Needs much more Waylon... like every music thread

I'm not here to forget you
I'm here to recall the things we used to say and do
I don't wanna get over you
I don't wanna get over you

And

I’ve always been crazy

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

Well, I was sittin' in this beer joint down in Houston, Texas
Was drinkin' Colorado Cool-Aid and talkin' to some Mexicans

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

Not opening lines but fuck it

Well, I rolled into Atlanta, drunk* and almost out of gas
Yeah, I had to get some money, lately I'd learned how to get it fast
Those neon lights was calling me and somehow I just had to get downtown
So I reached into the glove box, another liquor store went down

 

*This is how he sang it live. For radio, it was "stolen tags and almost out of gas."

Edited February 15, 2021 by MaybeACoordinator

[Nole-4-Life 804]

She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette

[Guest]

I left Oklahoma drivin in a Pontiac...just about to lose my mind!

[83Horn 1656]

Take your drink to end of the bar, buddy

Come on, now don't be a fool

I'd rather have the hot seat in SIng-Sing prison

Than to sit down by her on that stool

[DallasHorn26 586]

Well shut up buddy what do you know about love
I don't take advice from some old drunk
At a bar middle the middle of the day
What the hell does it matter anyway…

[hullabelew 3724]

Hello walls,
How'd things go for you today?
Don't you miss her
Since she up and walked away?

 

And probably not Honky Tonk, but cuts to the fucking point.  

Honey, don't you be yelling at me when I'm cleaning my gun

[hullabelew 3724]

And on "There Stands The Glass".  My favorite version is by Ted Hawkins.  

 

 

Edited February 18, 2021 by hullabelew

[Revolution512 1502]

Spent my lifetime wishing the waitress would come around

telling jokes, shooting pool on the other side of town

when the whistle blows at 5 o’clock there’s only one place I’ll be found

down at ernies ice house lifting long necks, to that good ol country sound

talking bout the good old times, bragging about how it used to be

But I’ve worn out the same old lines and now it seems nothings news to me

[Al_4_ISU 12526]

People are sayin' time takes care of people like me

[Hornius Emeritus 12496]

When we dance together, my world's in disguse
It's a fairyland dream that came true
And when you look at me with those stars in your eyes
I could waltz across Texas with you.

Edited February 18, 2021 by Hornius Emeritus

[noharleyyet 2853]

On a Greyhound bus Lord I'm travelin' this morning
I'm goin' to Shreveport and down to New Orleans
Been travlin' these highways and doin' things my way
It's been making me lonesome on'ry and mean.

God her hair was jet black and her name was Bodine
Thought she was the queen of the Basin Street Queens
She got tired of that smoky-wine dream
She began to feel lonesome on'ry and mean.

We got together and we cashed in our sweeps
Gave onto beggar who was mumblin' through the streets
There's no escaping from his snowy white dream
On'ry and lonesome on'ry and mean.

[Hornius Emeritus 12496]

My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love Jesus.
It's that kind of mornin',
really was that kind of night.
Tryin' to tell myself that my
condition is improvin' and if I don't
die by Thursday I'll be roarin' Friday night.
 

[Hornius Emeritus 12496]

 

My sweetheart is gone and I'm so lonely
She said that she and I were through
So I started out drinkin' for pastime
Drivin' nails in my coffin over you
I'm just drivin' nails in my coffin
Every time I drink a bottle of booze
I'm just drivin' nails in my coffin
Drivin' those nails over you

[Kennythetiger 9496]

Stage-right enter Jimmy, just a counterfeit James Dean, with a pocket full of delta blues and cheap amphetamine. 

[Al_4_ISU 12526]

7 minutes ago, Kennythetiger said:

Stage-right enter Jimmy, just a counterfeit James Dean, with a pocket full of delta blues and cheap amphetamine. 

I thought it better not to talk about the letter that you sent.  It was no one else's business.  It was barely even mine.

[smwhorn 483]

Well I've never seen you look quite so sad,
And I've never felt me feel quite so bad,
And I know we both feel that we have been had,
Well I guess they were just not that strong.

So I lost my woman and you lost your man,
And who knows who's right or who's wrong,
But I've got my guitar and I've got a plan,
Throw your arms 'round this honky tonk man!

[workswithseed 2139]

Pop a top again!

[hullabelew 3724]

I LOVE how no one is showing what song/songwriter/artist it is and you recognize most of them on sight.    Carry on.

Edited February 19, 2021 by hullabelew

[cactusflinthead 27615]

50 dollars and a flask of crown
I grab my stetson and i pull it down.
I rope the devil ride'm into town
With 50 dollars and a flask of crown

[Al_4_ISU 12526]

21 hours ago, hullabelew said:

Hello walls,
How'd things go for you today?
Don't you miss her
Since she up and walked away?

 

And probably not Honky Tonk, but cuts to the fucking point.  

Honey, don't you be yelling at me when I'm cleaning my gun

That's my favorite opening line of all time.  Hell, that whole song.  I fucking know those people.  

[WBT 20735]

You wouldn't read my letter if I wrote you
You asked me not to call you on the phone
But there's something I'm wanting to tell you
So I wrote it in the words of this song

I didn't know God made Honky Tonk angels
I might have known you'd never make a wife
You gave up the only one that ever loved you
And went back to the wild side of life

[Steel Shank 9439]

Johnny Walker sat
At a table in a bar
Minding his own affairs

Drinking his namesake
Over the rocks
He was drunk
Too drunk to care

When a girl in the bar
Walked up beside him
And this is what she said

She said, a woman came by
With a letter for you
And this is what the letter said