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Good movies that haven't held up.

Parliament

By Parliament
in Movies and TV

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Dark Horse
Dark Horse

Saving Private Ryan, The Matrix, and Seven? Jesus, you are a fucktard. 

Mole
Mole

Avatar holds up just fine. It was terrible when it came out and it remains terrible today.

C-Man
C-Man
Bigbend1812

Bigbend1812 12927

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On 5/1/2018 at 6:18 PM, longhornmatt said:

I’ve read other reviews saying this when I got finished with the rewatch and immediately Googled, “WTF?  Ferris Bueller is a sociopath” in my distraught midlife crisis state.  I can see the argument that it’s about Cameron and his sister to an extent, since they actually have feelings and an arc, but I still don’t get all the way there.  Cameron’s big “triumph” is not deciding to kill himself after the Ferrari wrecks and then muttering something about how his dad will have to talk to him now.   That wasn’t really a resolution at all, but fuck it, it was the 80s.  If anything, I think the other characters get shorted on their supposed breakthrough moments and act more like plot devices for the next Ferris adventure scene.

Also, I did not care for The Godfather.* It insists upon itself.  The Money Pit is far superior. 

* Note:  actually The Godfather is amazing, but if we’re going to kill sacred cows go big or go home.

 

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C-Man

C-Man 27254

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On 6/1/2018 at 5:55 AM, Onboard 2.0 said:

Yep, it's a bit dated for sure, but there are scenes that still completely crack me up (Johnathon. Winters tearing up the gas station is just one that comes to mind).  You've got to look at movies in the context of their times to appreciate them to some degree.  

Hell Casablanca is completely dated, over acted, and ham handed at times, but it's vastly more entertaining than some of the stuff Hollywood has cranked out since then.

Phil Silvers is so goddamn funny in that movie.

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686

686 3450

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I am never clicking on this thread ever again.

This must be what people who post in the cloak room feel like.



Yeah there is some shit in here that will make you lose faith in humanity. Who drove you over the line - the crazy fuckers who think Caddyshack is bad or the crazy fuckers that think Saving Private Ryan doesn’t hold up?
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Farkimedes

Farkimedes 23

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Top Gun. I hadn’t seen it start to finish in maybe 15 years, so this last weekend the ball and chain rented it with me. I remember seeing a Rotten Tomatoes scores of like 55% and thinking that was crazy.

Holy hell has it aged poorly. Basically anything that isn’t a flight scene is borderline unwatchable. The dialogue with Kelly during the Love Plot is so bad you almost can’t believe they filmed it.

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tantric superman

tantric superman 4667

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On 5/31/2018 at 10:23 PM, wild_turkey said:

I watched 2001: A Space Odyssey a couple years ago for the first time and thought it was boring as shit. I understand some of the things it did well and that’s certainly impressive for its time, but I did not find it entertaining. I think a lot of people who love it appreciate it for how they saw it when it was new. The special effects and technology were great then, but they helped cover up a boring plot.

For reference, I love scifi movies and I like lots of slow films. Just thought this particular movie sucked for a modern day first time viewer.

Neg away.

I appreciate it in all its boring glory now more than I did then.  Shit, I could watch every Kubrick film at quarter speed and I would still love it.  Every fucking frame is gorgeous.

 

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tantric superman

tantric superman 4667

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I'm a good deal older than some of you guys, and I started watching lots of movies way back in the 80s back when there about four theaters in my college town that would have double features of all sorts of foreign films.  All of that Bergman and Bresson and Goddard stuff was often slow as shit but it was kind of novel to me.  So I think I just got lots of practice in terms of getting used to slow films and really not disliking escaping into a slow movie (like 2001).  

Got to be in the mood for some of these flicks, and well rested. 

 

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tantric superman

tantric superman 4667

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1 hour ago, Farkimedes said:

Top Gun. I hadn’t seen it start to finish in maybe 15 years, so this last weekend the ball and chain rented it with me. I remember seeing a Rotten Tomatoes scores of like 55% and thinking that was crazy.

Holy hell has it aged poorly. Basically anything that isn’t a flight scene is borderline unwatchable. The dialogue with Kelly during the Love Plot is so bad you almost can’t believe they filmed it. 

It was shitty from the day it hit theaters, but the youngsters thought it was cool.  Now you realize it was campy.  But it's pretty great as far as camp goes.  

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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2 hours ago, crackamacgowski said:

Now Top Gun is being denigrated. This planet needs a cleansing.

I'd say that's what's happening by shedding light on that 1 and 40 music video. I enjoyed the fighter scene , but the story line sucks ass badly, and it hasn't  gotten better with age.

I'm still not sure what demographic they were shooting for in the volleyball scene, 15 year old chicks or 50 year old gays.

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Farkimedes

Farkimedes 23

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4 hours ago, crackamacgowski said:

Now Top Gun is being denigrated. This planet needs a cleansing.

The sex scene is so bad I can't believe they filmed it. Brilliant borderline on violent blue lighting, "Take my Breath Away" pounding in through the speakers, Tom Cruise being lowered via some sort of crane device ( seriously, he's like completely parallel with the ground ) on top of Kelly McGillis to assume the Missionary Position, the two of the standing at attention before moving their arms over each other like they are robots being told how to simulate sex. The real topper though is the fight scene just before they bang, which is like a perfect maelstrom of horrendous acting and terrible dialogue about the fact that Maverick "has a real brilliance in his flying, but you're also a complete fucking lunatic".  It's like watching my 5 YO play acting a fight between 2 adults or something. For sure though my favorite scene is directly after Goose dies and Cruise is standing there in tighty-whities trying to be sad and Viper's all like, "Fuck 'em, he's dead. Cut that asshole out of your life. You've got to let him go ( he's been dead for like 4 hours ) and move on with your life".

Cruise's performance is jaw droppingly bad. I hadn't seen an early Cruise movie in a long time and I had forgotten how much better of an actor he is now compared to then. Unless he's grinning his face literally contorts like he's got Bell's Palsy or some shit when he's trying to be angry or sad or something. His timing is awful on the two comedic scenes ( like when he's trying to sing in the bar ).

Look, I loved that movie and the Top Gun theme screams patriotism and the U.S. motherfuckin' A. to me like a Sousa march. I still love that movie in the same way you love something average but you have a deep connection w/, like a profoundly mediocre Tex-Mex restaurant in the small town you grew up in ( shout out to Ta-Molly's and La Familia ). 

 

 

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C-Man

C-Man 27254

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27 minutes ago, Farkimedes said:

The sex scene is so bad I can't believe they filmed it. Brilliant borderline on violent blue lighting, "Take my Breath Away" pounding in through the speakers, Tom Cruise being lowered via some sort of crane device ( seriously, he's like completely parallel with the ground ) on top of Kelly McGillis to assume the Missionary Position, the two of the standing at attention before moving their arms over each other like they are robots being told how to simulate sex. The real topper though is the fight scene just before they bang, which is like a perfect maelstrom of horrendous acting and terrible dialogue about the fact that Maverick "has a real brilliance in his flying, but you're also a complete fucking lunatic".  It's like watching my 5 YO play acting a fight between 2 adults or something. For sure though my favorite scene is directly after Goose dies and Cruise is standing there in tighty-whities trying to be sad and Viper's all like, "Fuck 'em, he's dead. Cut that asshole out of your life. You've got to let him go ( he's been dead for like 4 hours ) and move on with your life".

Cruise's performance is jaw droppingly bad. I hadn't seen an early Cruise movie in a long time and I had forgotten how much better of an actor he is now compared to then. Unless he's grinning his face literally contorts like he's got Bell's Palsy or some shit when he's trying to be angry or sad or something. His timing is awful on the two comedic scenes ( like when he's trying to sing in the bar ).

Look, I loved that movie and the Top Gun theme screams patriotism and the U.S. motherfuckin' A. to me like a Sousa march. I still love that movie in the same way you love something average but you have a deep connection w/, like a profoundly mediocre Tex-Mex restaurant in the small town you grew up in ( shout out to Ta-Molly's and La Familia ). 

 

 

Can't argue any of this but I will forever see this movie through my 13-year-old eyes like I saw it the first time. I still use "Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full" all the fucking time.

 

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TornACL

TornACL 7722

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Re: 2001, I'm not sure how a movie that covers the topics of human existence, evolution, and place in the universe can AVOID being "ponderous and pretentious".

I'll grant that it's slow, but if you've ever enjoyed any space movie in your life, you better be paying some thanks to Kubrick and 2001.

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ScottishHorn

ScottishHorn 172

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14 hours ago, Farkimedes said:

Top Gun. I hadn’t seen it start to finish in maybe 15 years, so this last weekend the ball and chain rented it with me. I remember seeing a Rotten Tomatoes scores of like 55% and thinking that was crazy.

Holy hell has it aged poorly. Basically anything that isn’t a flight scene is borderline unwatchable. The dialogue with Kelly during the Love Plot is so bad you almost can’t believe they filmed it.

What? You didn't like the flexing beach volleyball montage/scene?

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Parliament

Parliament 14286

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The sex scene is so bad I can't believe they filmed it. Brilliant borderline on violent blue lighting, "Take my Breath Away" pounding in through the speakers, Tom Cruise being lowered via some sort of crane device ( seriously, he's like completely parallel with the ground ) on top of Kelly McGillis to assume the Missionary Position, the two of the standing at attention before moving their arms over each other like they are robots being told how to simulate sex. The real topper though is the fight scene just before they bang, which is like a perfect maelstrom of horrendous acting and terrible dialogue about the fact that Maverick "has a real brilliance in his flying, but you're also a complete fucking lunatic".  It's like watching my 5 YO play acting a fight between 2 adults or something. For sure though my favorite scene is directly after Goose dies and Cruise is standing there in tighty-whities trying to be sad and Viper's all like, "Fuck 'em, he's dead. Cut that asshole out of your life. You've got to let him go ( he's been dead for like 4 hours ) and move on with your life".
Cruise's performance is jaw droppingly bad. I hadn't seen an early Cruise movie in a long time and I had forgotten how much better of an actor he is now compared to then. Unless he's grinning his face literally contorts like he's got Bell's Palsy or some shit when he's trying to be angry or sad or something. His timing is awful on the two comedic scenes ( like when he's trying to sing in the bar ).
Look, I loved that movie and the Top Gun theme screams patriotism and the U.S. motherfuckin' A. to me like a Sousa march. I still love that movie in the same way you love something average but you have a deep connection w/, like a profoundly mediocre Tex-Mex restaurant in the small town you grew up in ( shout out to Ta-Molly's and La Familia ). 
 
 
I bet you're fun at parties.
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oSuJeff97

oSuJeff97 3435

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2 hours ago, C-Man said:

Can't argue any of this but I will forever see this movie through my 13-year-old eyes like I saw it the first time. I still use "Negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full" all the fucking time.

 

My man....

Same here, all day long.

tom-cruise-top-gun-e1527782183480.png?x4

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