I Am An Expert On Sub-$100 Texas Motels

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

Ask me anything.

Oh, and in before "nice humblebrag," assholes. 

[CooterBrown 18115]

Is your expertise in cheating on your wife, sex trafficking, drug dealing, or snuff film production?

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

Por que no las cuatro? 

[Neonmoon 38130]

How many times have you had bed bugs or scabies? And be honest. 

[Celery Man 21036]

When I was a touring musician, we settled on EconoLodge as the "this is the cheapest acceptable most consistent motel with free wi-fi".  That was several years back though.  What have you found?

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

Define "bed bugs." And "scabies." And "honest." 

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

Just now, Celery Man said:

When I was a touring musician, we settled on EconoLodge as the "this is the cheapest acceptable most consistent motel with free wi-fi".  That was several years back though.  What have you found?

Whole bunch of different things. Chain names seem to have little value -- they are all their own things these days, no matter what the sign out front might say. It's not like if you go to some shitty burger joint like Wendy's, where you know at least you will get a standard Wendy's burger. With motels, one Days Inn might be a hellhole while the next might be adequate. 

[bluto 4947]

I like that the range is hell hole to simply adequate 

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

4 minutes ago, bluto said:

I like that the range is hell hole to simply adequate 

Well, that's for the Days Inns I know. Other places range from hellhole to I could stash a mistress here and she wouldn't complain all that much. 

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

Passing this along from someone with even more knowledge than me:

 

Quote

If the name contains either the word American or Interstate I'm pretty sure one is asking for trouble. The one perk I've never seen other than the Villa Inn in Mesquite was the guy that sat by the kidney shaped pool in the atrium that looked like it was filled with Phillips Milk of Magnesia. His easel and art supplies, he would paint a picture in oil on black velvet of "you and your rig" if you supplied him with a polaroid or snapshot. You can't get that many places...Thankfully

 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11830]

Does the Relax Inn in Refugio offer happy endings?  Aside from Roosters experience?  

[cactusflinthead 27615]

ok, is this a bit? I am going to take the same approach as Celery Man and treat it as a legit postulation. I have to make periodic visits to Nacogdoches. Since I am a tightwad on some things I also have settled for the Econolodge. It's adequate. I am not there to enjoy the ambiance of the room and I don't give a damn about a continental breakfast. I am there to crash, shit, shower and shave. That's it. A sub hundred dollar adequate crash pad is fine by me. 

where is a good spot west of SA around Hondo? 

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

23 minutes ago, cactusflinthead said:

ok, is this a bit? I am going to take the same approach as Celery Man and treat it as a legit postulation. I have to make periodic visits to Nacogdoches. Since I am a tightwad on some things I also have settled for the Econolodge. It's adequate. I am not there to enjoy the ambiance of the room and I don't give a damn about a continental breakfast. I am there to crash, shit, shower and shave. That's it. A sub hundred dollar adequate crash pad is fine by me. 

where is a good spot west of SA around Hondo? 

Try that Hotel Fredonia in Nac. They keep opening and closing, but it's the old 1950s downtown palace, and they seem amenable to deals. You might be able to snag a room there at the same price as you would at a chain and it is not a fleapit. 

I stayed at an adequate joint in Uvalde that was identical to the place next door last week. They look so much alike I went to room 122 (my room) at the wrong one and wondered why my key didn't work. 

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

As for whether or not this is a bit, I live this song: 

 

 

[MaybeACoordinator 8350]

1 hour ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Does the Relax Inn in Refugio offer happy endings?  Aside from Roosters experience?  

I've yet to rest my head in R'feary-o

[Brisketexan 105698]

Had a witness to interview in Parsipanny, NJ a few years back.  Choice of two hotels: Sheraton for $350, Red Roof for $59.  Needed two rooms (one for my associate), and had a cost-conscious client.  So, Red Roof it was.

The sounds of “commercial activity” in the parking lot soothes us to sleep, and occasionally woke us up.

Sheets were stained enough that we each independently chose to sleep in our clothes, on top of the bedspread.

Shampoo came in like a little ketchup packet.

When we got in our car to head out. My associate said “new rule - we only stay in places with doors that open to an INSIDE hallway.”  Turns out she blocked her door with a chair leaned against it, as the drug deals outside her side of the building involved some heated “negotiations.”

But I’ve stayed in other Red Roofs that were fine.

 

[Celery Man 21036]

+1 fredonia in Nacogdoches.  No idea what the rates are, but get one of the poolside rooms.

[Equinox 95]

Avoid The Knight's Inn, wherever.

[SimonBolivar 10962]

Red Roof in Childress has a great breakfast.  They claimed it's continental then out comes some slamming buiscuits, gravy, and sausage.

Edited April 29, 2018 by SimonBolivar

[TornACL 7767]

In the early days of Priceline I grabbed a cheap room in Austin for a home game weekend. Got an Extended Stay America. Jesus Christ.

I am pretty sure that place was being partially utilized as a literal halfway house. What little time we did spend in the room was often spent wondering about the sources of the strange stains on the wall.

 

[Brisketexan 105698]

You ain't livin' till you've stayed in a S. Texas hotel that has a sign taped to the mirror that says "do not clean fish or birds in sink."

That's how you know you've chosen a classy joint.

I have stayed in at least a half dozen such establishments. On at least 4 of those trips, the sign was applicable -- had to clean my critters outside, and some of these places didn't even have a cleaning station.

[huge 3803]

18 hours ago, Celery Man said:

+1 fredonia in Nacogdoches.  No idea what the rates are, but get one of the poolside rooms.

Yeah it has been redone again and is supposed to be very nice now.

I haven't stayed there but I would be surprised if you could get in anywhere near $100.

Try it and report back.

[DoobieWah 1477]

 

[Brisketexan 105698]

Anyone ever stay at the River Oak Inn in Bandera?  Had a hearing there once....spent the night in these KICKASS digs.

 

It was, umm, quite popular with the biker crowd.

[TornACL 7767]

18 hours ago, Equinox said:

Avoid The Knight's Inn, wherever.

Those places are certainly not fit for nobility.

[TornACL 7767]

32 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Anyone ever stay at the River Oak Inn in Bandera?  Had a hearing there once....spent the night in these KICKASS digs.

 

Feels like you could have re-enacted scenes from No Country for Old Men in that joint.

[jimmyjazz 46526]

A buddy & I crashed in Port A at a place you'd expect 2 brokeass college students to pick.  The sliding glass door to the parking lot (?) had dried cum on it.

We slept on the beach the next night.

[Macanudo 13102]

12 minutes ago, TornACL said:

Feels like you could have re-enacted scenes from No Country for Old Men in that joint.

Oh, he did.

[RollLeft 5053]

LaQuinta was good to me for years and in Texas their properties tend to be updated if not newer.  Once you hit so many stays the price is sub 100 and they always keep a room for their best customers.  Switched over to IHG as La Quinta has no higher end places to use points.  Sucks that they merged with Wyndham.  Tell me how i'm wrong on that point.  I havent stayed at one of their properties in years and wish Sheraton/Starwood had bought them.

[SimonBolivar 10962]

Isn't anything wrong with a newer Holiday Inn Express either. We have gotten some in Houston & San Antonio for <$70.00/night.