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How much of a cheap bastard are you?

Hellraiser97

By Hellraiser97
in Lulz

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Wally Fairway
Wally Fairway

I am, personally, trying to ruin the greeting card industry. For birthdays, valentines, mothers day, etc. instead of buying cards I just to a couple of stores, find a few cards that I like, whip

Lou
Lou

If my wife and I are in Walgreens when the Valentine’s Day cards are out, we go down the aisle, I pick a card, she picks a card, we exchange and read them and then put them back on the rack.  

NeverMarryAStripper
NeverMarryAStripper

I bet you didn't fuck around with his golf clubs anymore

Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19190

Posted
Posted
On 5/25/2018 at 6:14 AM, Sam Lin said:

Your blades are probably not getting dull from shaving, they're getting dull from rust and corrosion. Wash them immediately after use, shake dry, then dab with a towel or, better, blow them out using canned air like you use on a computer keyboard. If you live in a humid climate, store them in a closed jar with a dessicant pack. They'll last for years.

I dry them after every use and can get about a month out of one.

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21849

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Both Tacos said:

A buddy of mine (Jewish) goes to Walmart each year for his daughter's birthday party to purchase a bounce house/inflatable water slide. After the party, he let's it dry, repacks it and returns them.

Solid.

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dingleberryswitzer

dingleberryswitzer 2724

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Both Tacos said:

A buddy of mine (Jewish) goes to Walmart each year for his daughter's birthday party to purchase a bounce house/inflatable water slide. After the party, he let's it dry, repacks it and returns them.

I always wonder about the legality of that.  Not that there are cops investigating things like that, but it is completely in bad faith.  I've thought of doing similar things, especially while on vacation, and always think " Its Wal-Mart, they can afford to take a hit"  

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Both Tacos

Both Tacos 1806

Posted
Posted
I always wonder about the legality of that.  Not that there are cops investigating things like that, but it is completely in bad faith.  I've thought of doing similar things, especially while on vacation, and always think " Its Wal-Mart, they can afford to take a hit"  
Same buddy - went on a trip to Beaver's Bend. He brought a friend of his boat. Really nice boat. First day just rode around the lake. 2nd day, he wants to pull a tube. His friend didn't pack a ski rope or inflatable tube. Off to the local Walmart and....yep, he buys a rope and very nice double rider tube. On the way out of town a couple days later, he returns them to Walmart.
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tbone_

tbone_ 14118

Posted
Posted
Are you really worried about the moral ambiguity of getting one over on Walmart? It is being shitty to very slightly defraud Walmart? Is there fraud even occuring? Does this even fall outside the lines of Walmarts return policy? 
Again, even if so.. you're calling somebody shitty, in defense of Walmart... Really?

Yes. Dick maneuver.
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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45910

Posted
Posted
52 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

Are you really worried about the moral ambiguity of getting one over on Walmart? It is being shitty to very slightly defraud Walmart? Is there fraud even occuring? Does this even fall outside the lines of Walmarts return policy? 

Again, even if so.. you're calling somebody shitty, in defense of Walmart... Really?

LOL.  So the severity of the crime depends on the victim?  We're not shooting the SS here.

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RPM

RPM 26319

Posted
Posted
On 5/6/2018 at 5:31 PM, Brothahorn said:

I buy cheap liquor for friends/family and refill the name bottles. Only been called out twice, because of Taaka Vodka.

That shit is undeniable.

Buy Platinum 7X ($17). You can refill Grey Goose ($60) and nobody would know.

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Jkwellborn

Jkwellborn 6697

Posted
Posted
Gawd, who would actually do that?

The Jews did this.gif
Your blades are probably not getting dull from shaving, they're getting dull from rust and corrosion. Wash them immediately after use, shake dry, then dab with a towel or, better, blow them out using canned air like you use on a computer keyboard. If you live in a humid climate, store them in a closed jar with a dessicant pack. They'll last for years.

Put them in some rubbing alcohol after use. Then dry them. Supposedly, that does the trick
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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26426

Posted
Posted

I say that to be a True Cheap Bastard, you need the dessicated crimped soul of a Puritan from times past. You must hate spending like the Devil, but also, denial must be your only pleasure.

No swiping condiments or playing games with return policies. You would rather do without. You must come from the mindset that stealing bread when starving is a crime, and that too-clever connivery is best left to the French.

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52-80

52-80 19151

Posted
Posted
On 5/27/2018 at 2:14 PM, RPM said:

Buy Platinum 7X ($17). You can refill Grey Goose ($60) and nobody would know.

‘I’ll have a bottle of your cheapest Champagne, but pour it into an empty bottle of your most expensive Champagne’

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11669

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 5/26/2018 at 8:11 PM, BurntEyes said:

Are you really worried about the moral ambiguity of getting one over on Walmart? It is being shitty to very slightly defraud Walmart? Is there fraud even occuring? Does this even fall outside the lines of Walmarts return policy? 

Again, even if so.. you're calling somebody shitty, in defense of Walmart... Really?

The burden doesn't fall on WalMart.  They deduct those returns on payments to vendors.  So get it really clear, you aren't fucking WalMart over.  You are fucking over the supplier of the bounce house.  Hard.

Edited by Incredulity
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Stoogey

Stoogey 219

Posted
Posted
On 5/27/2018 at 4:34 PM, Hugo Stiglitz said:

I give my dirty laundry to goodwill, write it off on my taxes as a charitable donation then buy my close back for cheap after they’re washed and claim it as a business expense.

Dirty clothing donated to Goodwill is to sold by the pound to brokers who ship to third world countries.

http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/tshirttravels/film.html

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11819

Posted
Posted
On 5/26/2018 at 8:54 PM, dingleberryswitzer said:

I always wonder about the legality of that.  Not that there are cops investigating things like that, but it is completely in bad faith.  I've thought of doing similar things, especially while on vacation, and always think " Its Wal-Mart, they can afford to take a hit"  

I'll admit I did this with an air mattress once.  Had too much company for the weekend so I bought a real nice queen size air mattress.  Returned it on Monday.

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686

686 3448

Posted
Posted

I was the recipient of some cheap bastard upbringing on occasion. For my 5th birthday "party", my mom took me and my friends down to the jail where we were all fingerprinted, spent some time in a jail cell and in the back of a locked squad car. When I was in the jail cell, the jailer closed the cell bars and my mom told me "if you ever get in here don't call us!". I'm sure she thought she was making a good joke, but it definitely made an impression.

 

Also, to everybody abusing retailer's return policies: 

e49.jpg

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dingleberryswitzer

dingleberryswitzer 2724

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, 686 said:

I was the recipient of some cheap bastard upbringing on occasion. For my 5th birthday "party", my mom took me and my friends down to the jail where we were all fingerprinted, spent some time in a jail cell and in the back of a locked squad car. When I was in the jail cell, the jailer closed the cell bars and my mom told me "if you ever get in here don't call us!". I'm sure she thought she was making a good joke, but it definitely made an impression.

 

 

They sounds pretty fun for a five year old.

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Fudge Nuggets

Fudge Nuggets 19190

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, 686 said:

I was the recipient of some cheap bastard upbringing on occasion. For my 5th birthday "party", my mom took me and my friends down to the jail where we were all fingerprinted, spent some time in a jail cell and in the back of a locked squad car. When I was in the jail cell, the jailer closed the cell bars and my mom told me "if you ever get in here don't call us!". I'm sure she thought she was making a good joke, but it definitely made an impression.

 

Also, to everybody abusing retailer's return policies: 

e49.jpg

You went to jail for your 5th birthday?  That’s freaking awful.

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686

686 3448

Posted
Posted

It wasn't terrible or great, more novel/interesting at first and then depressing to my introspective little self. I remember sitting in the back of the squad car unsuccessfully trying to turn the ferrule that the handle to roll down the window would have been attached to, and that the handle to open the door didn't work. I remember immediately not liking the feeling of being "trapped" and wanted out. Also, I remember the sound/feel when those cell bars shut, standing there staring at the layers of peeling paint on the bars, imagining not being able to open the bars and how miserable that would be, and thinking "F this shit I never want to see this place again"....

Who's ready for cake?

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26426

Posted
Posted

Y'know those corrugated plastic signs they use for political races and what not?

I bet one cut to size would make a damn good temporary shingle on a spot that the squirrels damaged.

Gonna find out one way or the other when this 40,000' thunderstorm rolls in.

If it holds up, I might just take this can of Rustoleum LeakSeal and make it one with the roof, once we get enough sun to cure it.

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686

686 3448

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, RDCanecutter said:

Y'know those corrugated plastic signs they use for political races and what not?

I bet one cut to size would make a damn good temporary shingle on a spot that the squirrels damaged.

Gonna find out one way or the other when this 40,000' thunderstorm rolls in.

If it holds up, I might just take this can of Rustoleum LeakSeal and make it one with the roof, once we get enough sun to cure it.

My family would cut up a tin coffee can, bang it out flat, and it would outlast the shingles

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RDCanecutter

RDCanecutter 26426

Posted
Posted
29 minutes ago, 686 said:

My family would cut up a tin coffee can, bang it out flat, and it would outlast the shingles

I have an old Alabama license plate covering a hole in the cedar shakes on the side. Can't see it from the street. Some people thinking about buying the house next door appeared to be staring at it.

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Jkwellborn

Jkwellborn 6697

Posted
Posted
Y'know those corrugated plastic signs they use for political races and what not?
I bet one cut to size would make a damn good temporary shingle on a spot that the squirrels damaged.
Gonna find out one way or the other when this 40,000' thunderstorm rolls in.
If it holds up, I might just take this can of Rustoleum LeakSeal and make it one with the roof, once we get enough sun to cure it.

Get some flex seal.
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