How much of a cheap bastard are you?

[Brisketexan 105116]

I worked at Wendy's when I was in high school.  There was a couple who would come in every Sunday with the newspaper and eat lunch at the all-you-can-eat salad bar.  They'd refill their iced teas over the course of the afternoon and then pop down another round of salads for an early dinner.
I may be cheap, but that was pathetic.

I used to do that at Gattis in college during finals. Lunch buffet. Tea and study. Then dinner, because I never left.

[RDCanecutter 26426]

Bless me fathers, for I have sinned. Took Mrs. Canecutter to a real restaurant last night and blew money I could have used to exist for two weeks in my usual cheap, miserly, scabrous way.

But it seemed to make her happy. Maybe it will pay off long run.

[RDCanecutter 26426]

On 5/2/2018 at 10:22 PM, gsoda3 said:

i wash out ziploc bags and reuse them. 

My mom does that, ironically she started the habit after she had enough money not to worry about things.

But she literally started me out on the right foot cheap-wise. When I was a Wee Baby Canecutter, my feet turned in and the doc wanted to sell her a high-dollar pair of special shoes for her poor lame fugu baby. Mama Canecutter looked at the price, looked at me, looked at the price again, and said "He'll probably be fine."

I ran around doing normal baby stuff, feet straightened out on their own, AND WE STILL HAVE THE MONEY.

[EE2B 1565]

We took the kids out of town last week for a few days. Yesterday I went to get a cup out of the cabinet and find all the cups from the hotel room still in their original plastic wrap that my wife brought home. I won’t even begin to discuss the mound of baby shampoo and soaps that she has stored up. 

[Trey3216 15346]

On 5/1/2018 at 11:40 AM, High Plains Drifter said:

I cut my own hair, which is easy as I run a no guard electric razor over my skull once a week. I only shave twice a week (saves on razor blades).

I snack on whatever my youngest brings home in his lunch box.

I shamelessly pick up old golf balls from the driving range, and play with those. Even the yellow ones.

I do as much of my own car maintenance, lawn care, and home repair as I can.

Water the lawn with water from rain barrels when possible.

SHould've reverse engineered the blow dryer and made your own Flowbie.  

[Trey3216 15346]

On 5/2/2018 at 1:08 AM, ImissWallyPryor said:

I keep a list on my phone of almost 100 items that we commonly buy at the grocery store. I have the unit price for each at Sam’s, WalMart, and Target. Sam’s is consistently 20-40% cheaper than the other two with a few odd exceptions, those being whole wheat pasta, canned white meat chicken, kcups, glucosamine + condroitin, and flax oil. 

Canned white meat chicken??  What in the actual fuck is wrong with you? 

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

It is just fine for a quick lunch of chicken salad. Stop bullying me. 

[dbagg 86]

My Dad still wears a black pair of free diabetus shoes that my grandpa got with his meds.  Gramps has been dead since 2011 (RIP).  

[RDCanecutter 26426]

13 minutes ago, dbagg said:

My Dad still wears a black pair of free diabetus shoes that my grandpa got with his meds.  Gramps has been dead since 2011 (RIP).  

My only pair of black leather shoes is the pair Uncle Sam gave me in 1988. Resoled once, reheeled twice.

Still better than whatever slave-labor products are available now.

[RDCanecutter 26426]

30 minutes ago, Trey3216 said:

Canned white meat chicken??  What in the actual fuck is wrong with you? 

At UT I used to buy multiple cans of tuna, kept them in the grad student lounge, I'd pop one every day and stand there and eat it, with a spoon.

One wench started doing her "eeeww" act, I told her she'd make a damn poor lesbian. She didn't get it.

[TornACL 7698]

1 hour ago, RDCanecutter said:

Bless me fathers, for I have sinned. Took Mrs. Canecutter to a real restaurant last night and blew money I could have used to exist for two weeks in my usual cheap, miserly, scabrous way.

But it seemed to make her happy. Maybe it will pay off long run.

Don't know how long you've been married, maybe you've forgotten this. But if it didn't pay off THAT NIGHT it ain't gonna happen.

[Trey3216 15346]

Back in college, when we wanted to go out to certain bars where we knew there would be a line, and a cover charge, we'd stop at the gas station and buy like 4 bags of ice and walk right past the line and through the door telling the door man "Bar's running low on ice" without paying cover or waiting.  Saved $$ and time.  Worked for a while, but then they caught on.  

[NeverMarryAStripper 21905]

So what did you do with the ice once you were inside?  Just drop it on the floor, or maybe go pour it in the urinals?

[Trey3216 15346]

6 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So what did you do with the ice once you were inside?  Just drop it on the floor, or maybe go pour it in the urinals?

Nahh, just handed it to the bartenders we knew and laughed while they brought us beer.  Heck, if we kept our receipts they even paid us back for the ice.  

Edited May 4, 2018 by Trey3216

[Bama Chick 28596]

This thread is amazing.

I'll shop at the Target Dollar Spot.

That's all I can contribute.

[ShaggyBevo RIP 3868]

9 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

Back in college, when we wanted to go out to certain bars where we knew there would be a line, and a cover charge, we'd stop at the gas station and buy like 4 bags of ice and walk right past the line and through the door telling the door man "Bar's running low on ice" without paying cover or waiting.  Saved $$ and time.  Worked for a while, but then they caught on.  

I've gotten into a few events by wearing a chef coat and smoking on the loading dock and talking to whoever else is out there for a while before walking right in the service entrance.  Caterer black pants and white shirt would likely work just as well.

Edited May 5, 2018 by ShaggyBevo RIP

[gsoda3 3256]

9 hours ago, RDCanecutter said:

At UT I used to buy multiple cans of tuna, kept them in the grad student lounge, I'd pop one every day and stand there and eat it, with a spoon.

One wench started doing her "eeeww" act, I told her she'd make a damn poor lesbian. She didn't get it.

 

if you want to party you should add a T of mayonnaise. 

[El Diablo 4232]

When we were overseas and in port, rather than get a whore I'd put $20 on top of the light over my rack and crank one out and then pay myself.

[RDCanecutter 26426]

In the Broke 90s, I smashed the ring finger on my right hand. Seemed broken. A pal had broken her finger the month before, so I asked her what the doctor did.

"Taped my finger to this curved piece of metal, gave me a painkiller, and charged me 100 bucks."

So I borrowed the curved piece of metal off her, taped my finger to it, and slugged down a whole bottle of cooking sherry. Finger's a 1/4" shorter than it once was, but it works, AND I STILL HAVE THAT MONEY.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

Had no idea this community was full of so many diseased people.

[Jameslaw121 4448]

On 5/4/2018 at 10:22 AM, EE2B said:

We took the kids out of town last week for a few days. Yesterday I went to get a cup out of the cabinet and find all the cups from the hotel room still in their original plastic wrap that my wife brought home. I won’t even begin to discuss the mound of baby shampoo and soaps that she has stored up. 

All my white gym towels are from hotels. Wife makes fun of me because whenever I come home from a work trip I have 1 or 2 towels in my backpack. 

Couple of weeks ago, I went to Houston and brought one back. She said she could just buy a couple next time she was at target. I told her nah I got one for now, but when you're at Target, go ahead and pick up a toothbrush holder.

 

tone......

[Wally Fairway 5545]

On 5/4/2018 at 9:47 PM, gsoda3 said:

 

if you want to party you should add a T of mayonnaise. 

Just feed mayonnaise to the tuna fish, much more effeicent that way

[Murfdogg21 4412]

I’m a recovering cheap ass. We were broke when I was a kid so we did some crazy shit a few times. Occasionally my mom would let me out at McD’s or Wendy’s and I’d run and steal all the ketchup packets so we could go home and freeze them into ketchup popsicles. One year for new school shoe shopping, we went to a Payless in the mall and waited until we saw other kids about a year older than me or my brother and negotiated to buy their old shoes off them and they’d wear their new ones out of the store. Got some good deals that way.

I was broke in high school so my friends and I would go to Jason’s Deli or La Madeleine, ask for a water cup, then drink lemonade and pig out on the free muffins/pickles or bread/jelly, respectively. In college I’d take those plastic leftover tubs (Glad or Heb brand) into the dining hall, Double Dave’s (pepperoni rolls holla), or Gatti’s and load up to take home my next meal or two. When I moved back to Austin in 2010, I went to the Double Dave’s next to Posse for lunch and, without thinking about it, instinctively rolled up three or four pepperoni rolls in a paper towel as I was getting ready to leave. I was halfway to the door when I thought “WTF am I doing?” but by then I wasn’t going to take them back so I enjoyed the shit out of those at home later. 

I’d say the worst things we do these days is negotiate every last nickel out of a car or home purchase, insist on separate checks when other parties at dinner had disproportionately more booze or expensive meals, and buy our clothes exclusively from Marshall’s, Sam’s, and Costco. 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

If RDCanecutter ain't your goddamned personal hero by this point, you ain't a cheap bastard.

[Johnny Sack 8397]

18 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

I’m a recovering cheap ass. We were broke when I was a kid so we did some crazy shit a few times. Occasionally my mom would let me out at McD’s or Wendy’s and I’d run and steal all the ketchup packets so we could go home and freeze them into ketchup popsicles. One year for new school shoe shopping, we went to a Payless in the mall and waited until we saw other kids about a year older than me or my brother and negotiated to buy their old shoes off them and they’d wear their new ones out of the store. Got some good deals that way.

I was broke in high school so my friends and I would go to Jason’s Deli or La Madeleine, ask for a water cup, then drink lemonade and pig out on the free muffins/pickles or bread/jelly, respectively. In college I’d take those plastic leftover tubs (Glad or Heb brand) into the dining hall, Double Dave’s (pepperoni rolls holla), or Gatti’s and load up to take home my next meal or two. When I moved back to Austin in 2010, I went to the Double Dave’s next to Posse for lunch and, without thinking about it, instinctively rolled up three or four pepperoni rolls in a paper towel as I was getting ready to leave. I was halfway to the door when I thought “WTF am I doing?” but by then I wasn’t going to take them back so I enjoyed the shit out of those at home later. 

I’d say the worst things we do these days is negotiate every last nickel out of a car or home purchase, insist on separate checks when other parties at dinner had disproportionately more booze or expensive meals, and buy our clothes exclusively from Marshall’s, Sam’s, and Costco. 

I won’t eat with people who insist on separate checks. Just won’t do it. Too old for that and it’s emberassing.  I’d rather get the whole tab. The people I eat out with are either close friends or family. I don’t give a fuck if they had more of the appetizer than I did.  We either take turns or split it equally. Or do credit card roulette. 

I can be cheap. But I’m not ever going to let it affect friends and family. 

[ChiTownDoc 21152]

On 4/30/2018 at 11:24 AM, Wally Fairway said:

I am, personally, trying to ruin the greeting card industry.

For birthdays, valentines, mothers day, etc. instead of buying cards I just to a couple of stores, find a few cards that I like, whip out my phone and take pictures of the cards.
Then when said day arrives, I text the photos to my family; I also send my adult kids pictures of birthday cakes, and tWife gets pictures  of roses, candies and other things that cost too much and either spoil or we don't really need.

FWIW - I am waiting to be kicked out of a store for my shenanigans, but fuck $4-$6-$9 for some stupid card.

Legit lol

My parents were cheap growing up.  I piss on money every chance I get.  It’s been 8 years since I touched change.  Before I lucked into money I was cheap but nothing on the level in this thread.  Although I did send a dick pic once.  Props to you bastards.  

[Gil Bang 25949]

On 4/30/2018 at 8:50 AM, pearlandhorn said:

Some things I splurge on, some things I'm cheap on.  I have my wife cut my own hair because I don't want to pay 15 bucks to have my hair cut.  I actually watched a few youtube videos and learned how to trim her hair and did that yesterday (the hair on her head you heathens).

I don't cheap out on clothes typically (Lucky jeans and Jos A. Bank are my go-tos). 

So, your NOT cheap on clothes, but you buy your suits at JAB?   JAB ain't exactly on Saville Row dude. 

On 4/30/2018 at 9:53 AM, Pokoloco said:

The cheap shit I do always cost me more in the long run.   Now that its lawn mowing season, I have to go out and buy another trimmer. I will most likely buy another $100 piece of shit that won't last more than one season. Every year I say I'm going to buy a good professional model..then I can never pull the trigger. Fuck me.

Echo will save you so much money in the long run.

On 5/2/2018 at 1:04 PM, Johnny Sack said:

This is true.  The better tires should be on the back.

I have handled too many cases where multiple people were killed or paralyzed due to shitty tires. 

For me and my family, we drive on Michelins and make sure they have ample tread depth and are not older than 6 years old (I have seen tire delamination rollover fatalities on tread that looked brand new but the tire was too old).

If you drive on Cooper or Continental tires, T&Ps.   BF Goodrich aren't much better.

I'd be interested in hearing more.  How about a tire blowout thread?  

[pearlandhorn 3269]

Don’t do suits at JAB. Just button downs and casual work shirts.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

I feel kinda sorry for you JAB shoppers... clearly not Surly 1%ers, but not really one of us cheap bastards, either. Because us cheap bastards won't even shop at Walmart for clothes, if we can help it.

[RDCanecutter 26426]

5 hours ago, Murfdogg21 said:

One year for new school shoe shopping, we went to a Payless in the mall and waited until we saw other kids about a year older than me or my brother and negotiated to buy their old shoes off them and they’d wear their new ones out of the store. Got some good deals that way.

Most of the things you listed are Simple Thievery (not judging, when we have a simple thievery thread I myself will contribute in full) but that bit with the used shoes is 100% glorious 24 karat cheap-ass.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

The Cheap Bastard bible:

[RDCanecutter 26426]

5 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

If RDCanecutter ain't your goddamned personal hero by this point, you ain't a cheap bastard.

I am a False Prophet this week, brah. Just got back from dumping close to 100 bucks on brunch with son and daughter-in-law. But I hadn't seen them in almost 3 months, so I guess it still works out to about a dollar a day if you look at it right.

[Royalfan5 2354]

Not my personal cheapassedess on this story, but I went and ate Sunday dinner with my Grandma today, and she’s been scooping margarine into the same plastic container for at least the last 30 years, with a masking tape label that simply says oleo on it. 

[Brothahorn 10087]

I buy cheap liquor for friends/family and refill the name bottles. Only been called out twice, because of Taaka Vodka.

That shit is undeniable.

[Brothahorn 10087]

This would be in direct violation with my ink/toner price war. At one point in my life I worked for two of those companies (different times). I still log on using company email address to buy ink with those discounts. I still hate spending the money. Ink and toner... Oh, and I gave two printers away because the price of ink was too expensive because they were too old. Cheaper to buy a new one (wait for manufacturer and distributor discount cycles for a sub $30 purchase cost) get the included ink and buy new ink.
I really try not to print at all.
 

I print at work.

[gsoda3 3256]

33 minutes ago, Royalfan5 said:

Not my personal cheapassedess on this story, but I went and ate Sunday dinner with my Grandma today, and she’s been scooping margarine into the same plastic container for at least the last 30 years, with a masking tape label that simply says oleo on it. 

doesn't margarine COME in a plastic container?

[Royalfan5 2354]

10 minutes ago, gsoda3 said:

doesn't margarine COME in a plastic container?

Yes, but you can’t use the bulk plastic container on the table for guests

[LongestHorn 759]

I have shoplifted replacement razor blades on principle.

[High Plains Drifter 11046]

The double dave's pepperoni rolls story reminds me:

There used to be a Scholtzosky's on South Lamar, just past the bridge that had self serve soups. I worked at BSP, and on the way home, I'd stop there on days that they had "chili" as a soup option. I'd buy a cup of soup and a water, sneak soda into the water cup, and eat multiple soup refills, along with the free bread they would put out to go with the soups.

[Brothahorn 10087]

I have shoplifted replacement razor blades on principle.

I haven't bought a cd/DVD in over 10 years. Or software in at least 5.

I'm a pirate!

[Beau Vine 54217]

3 hours ago, Brothahorn said:

I buy cheap liquor for friends/family and refill the name bottles. Only been called out twice, because of Taaka Vodka.

That shit is undeniable.

Come on, man.  Gordon's is only like $4 more, and will pass the test.

[RDCanecutter 26426]

Some of you fuckers don't know the difference between "cheap" and "stealing".

Cheap doesn't have to sneak. Cheap doesn't have to avoid "getting caught." Cheap can walk into a room bald-faced and announce itself, and others jerk back away from it, repelled at its awesome miserliness.

Stealing is sneaking in to a diner and cadging a cup of coffee. Cheap is making sure you get there before the set-up person makes the coffee, and you "help" by starting the coffee pot. Then you pull out a dollar to pay for your cup, and the girl says "It's on the house since you made it." You say "I'm not looking to bum coffee", and she says "I don't mind letting you have a cup, because you're always ready to pay."

But you've been offering the same dollar bill to her for a month.

[Bat Guano 359]

On 5/5/2018 at 8:17 AM, RDCanecutter said:

In the Broke 90s, I smashed the ring finger on my right hand. Seemed broken. A pal had broken her finger the month before, so I asked her what the doctor did.

"Taped my finger to this curved piece of metal, gave me a painkiller, and charged me 100 bucks."

So I borrowed the curved piece of metal off her, taped my finger to it, and slugged down a whole bottle of cooking sherry. Finger's a 1/4" shorter than it once was, but it works, AND I STILL HAVE THAT MONEY.

Hmmm. I don't know if I'm cheaper than you or just dumber. Lotsa parallels, but then a left turn:

Broke 90s: check.

Broke finger: check (pinky, but it still counts).

Slugged down a bottle of ... something or other, I forget exactly what: check.

But I didn't have the benefit of a friend with experience, so I just let it heal itself for a while. Damn thing wouldn't heal, though; after about 3 weeks I broke down and went to the doctor 'cause it hurt like a motherfucker. Doc gave me a splint but told me it was probably too late - it had already started to heal crooked. Sure enough, damn thing is still crooked. Makes it hard to put a glove on that hand. And I don't have that money.

Edited May 7, 2018 by Bat Guano

[MaybeACoordinator 8349]

I've got a Big Lots discount card. But let me let you in on a great opportunity: I am willing to sell it for tree-fiddy. 

Edited May 7, 2018 by MaybeACoordinator

[RDCanecutter 26426]

15 minutes ago, Bat Guano said:

Hmmm. I don't know if I'm cheaper than you or just dumber. Lotsa parallels, but then a left turn:

Broke 90s: check.

Broke finger: check (pinky, but it still counts).

Slugged down a bottle of ... something or other, I forget exactly what: check.

But I didn't have the benefit of a friend with experience, so I just let it heal itself for a while. Damn thing wouldn't heal, though; after about 3 weeks I broke down and went to the doctor 'cause it hurt like a motherfucker. Doc gave me a splint but told me it was probably too late - it had already started to heal crooked. Sure enough, damn thing is still crooked. Makes it hard to put a glove on that hand. And I don't have that money.

You must acquit.

[El Diablo 4232]

1 hour ago, Bat Guano said:

Hmmm. I don't know if I'm cheaper than you or just dumber. Lotsa parallels, but then a left turn:

Broke 90s: check.

Broke finger: check (pinky, but it still counts).

Slugged down a bottle of ... something or other, I forget exactly what: check.

But I didn't have the benefit of a friend with experience, so I just let it heal itself for a while. Damn thing wouldn't heal, though; after about 3 weeks I broke down and went to the doctor 'cause it hurt like a motherfucker. Doc gave me a splint but told me it was probably too late - it had already started to heal crooked. Sure enough, damn thing is still crooked. Makes it hard to put a glove on that hand. And I don't have that money.

Broke the pinky finger on my right hand in the summer of '80 (was drunk and punched a wall, found the stud unfortunately). Buddy and I reported to the center in Dallas to be shipped off to boot camp only they saw the still not completely healed finger and wouldn't take me. They sent me back home for another month and sent his ass on to Florida. So much for the buddy program. I'll never forget the look on my dads face when I wheeled up at the house late that evening. Poor bastard thought he'd done rid himself of my sorry ass.

When I broke the finger it was really more the knuckle and I still don't have a knuckle there to speak of. But it works just fine and never really gave me much trouble. Other than I didn't get paid for that one month that I missed. $503 iirc was the going rate at the time for new enlistees.

[Mez2 4023]

1 hour ago, Bat Guano said:

Hmmm. I don't know if I'm cheaper than you or just dumber. Lotsa parallels, but then a left turn:

Broke 90s: check.

Broke finger: check (pinky, but it still counts).

Slugged down a bottle of ... something or other, I forget exactly what: check.

But I didn't have the benefit of a friend with experience, so I just let it heal itself for a while. Damn thing wouldn't heal, though; after about 3 weeks I broke down and went to the doctor 'cause it hurt like a motherfucker. Doc gave me a splint but told me it was probably too late - it had already started to heal crooked. Sure enough, damn thing is still crooked. Makes it hard to put a glove on that hand. And I don't have that money.

i'm so cheap, i had my fractured fingers x-rayed at my wife's vet clinic and then took a photo of that file and used for my doctors visit because i didnt want to go to pay for an xray. 

i work at a hospital. 

[Reagan1k 3024]

I don't like travel mugs or coffee cups in general so I wash and reuse 16oz Styrofoam ones.  I can make a dozen of them last 3-4 months.   

I piss away a lot of $$ but not on those things.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

2 hours ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

I only buy clothes from Sam's. 

As much as I need one, I can't mentally come around to paying for a body massage

I actually bartered for a body massage last week, so this hits close to home.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

1 minute ago, OatmealRaisinCookie said:

What did you trade?

Professional organizing services plus a couple of raised bed garden planters.