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With our pets....it just gets worse

Brisketexan
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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105336

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Just venting here, I don't think I'm really prompting any discussion.  It's just eating at me like a sonofabitch.  It seems that in a matter of not too long -- days?  Weeks? -- we'll go from having a house full of critters to an empty house.

We've had a nice cichlid fish tank since my daughter was an infant.  As fish age out and die, they get replaced, but we've ALWAYS had fish for nearly 20 years.  When we lost power, and our house dropped into the 30s....it wiped them out.  All of them.  Which was sad, but then, they're fish.  It sucked, but it's just a thing.

We're putting our cat down tomorrow.  Long-term heart issues, they've gotten worse, and we're on borrowed time.  So, we're putting Shiny down before he ends up dying in a painful cardiac event.  The boy is going to be crushed, there's no getting around it.

And then, we get to our dog, our black lab.  She's had this nagging cough for a couple of months.  Nothing huge, but it happens from time to time.  Then, about a week ago, she stopped eating her regular food, or at least wouldn't eat as much.  Took her in, not a good exam.  Ultrasound.  Obviously some sort of cancer in her lungs, and fluid build up around them.  She's 12.  We're not going to put her through surgery, which looks to be the only "treatment" option.  So, we're going to talk about ways to make her remaining time more comfortable....and to find out how much time that is.  Is it just a few more days?  We don't know.

Will she be alive when my daughter comes home in 6 weeks?  It's not looking good.  She loves her animals, it's one of the things she misses the most when she's away.  And now, it looks like every last one of her pets is going to die while she is away this semester.

It's just a lot.  And when layered on to all the other ordinary stresses, and the baseline stress of our personal and work lives during a pandemic, it's a whole fucking lot.  And I can't sleep.  And I can't stop my mind from spinning at 10,000 RPMs.

And this just fucking sucks.  It fucking sucks, and I hate that it fucking sucks, and I'm tired of shit that sucks, and fuck this fucking shit.

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dcbc

dcbc 14509

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Sorry Brisket.  I remember reading about your cat a few weeks back.  Sorry it's piling up since then.  I've had a retriever with cancer at 7 years and I'd say the make her comfortable route is the way to go.  In my experience, treatment doesn't seem to extend life too much in dogs and is hard on them.  Feed that girl lots of hamburger and eggs, and love on her as much as you can, while you can.  Again, I'm so sorry for you guys.

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WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28798

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Sometime about 10-12 years ago, some crazy neighbor lady moved in a few doors down with a young daughter, maybe 5 or 6, and a pair of cats. One with black and white spots, one all black (but with a little bit of an orange tinge when the sun hit her right and you could see some tiger striping). I saw them sitting inside her window.

At some point she apparently decided she didn’t want the cats and just abandoned them. I can’t imagine what effect that had on her young daughter. They were just outside all the time. The one with black and white spots disappeared soon after. The black one hung around. She wasn’t fully grown. I saw a neighbor across the way let her inside on a couple occasions. I was a cigarette smoker at the time and she’d come over and cuddle up with me, sit on my lap, when I was out on the front steps having a smoke.

I don’t like cats. So it takes a pretty cool cat to make me care. If I wanted to give her affection, I gave her affection. When I decided I was done, she didn’t bug me for more. She could handle some rough petting/scratching like you’d do with a dog. And she was pretty vocal.

There were a number of times when she was waiting outside my door and, when I opened it, she rushed inside. I’d pick her up and toss her back outside. I don’t like cats. Okay, there were a couple nights when it was cold and rainy outside that I let her stay the night with me. I never fed her or gave her a litter box and she left the first thing in the morning. (How’s that for a setup? Have at it.) But then I noticed that she was drinking out of rain puddles, eating worms, and defecating behind the bushes. That’s when I realized that she was abandoned, homeless. And Halloween was coming up. Probably not a good time to be a little black cat out on your own.

I don’t like cats. But this was a cool cat. So I asked a friend if he wanted a cat. I arranged an introduction and he adopted her. She had a yard to play in with moles and chipmunks to prey upon/play with. She was a lover, not a fighter, and she never strayed far from home. I used to check in on her, clean her litter box, and keep her fed and watered when my friend was out of town. She never ever once refused to come inside when I was ready to go home, not even when she was up in a tree. She was as low maintenance as cats get.

She passed away two days ago.

RIP, Meatball. (I never liked that name.) You had a good life and I’m glad I could play a small part in making it better.

I still don’t like cats. But that was a really cool cat. 

CE875D54-E160-4F98-B4FC-383518ECA27A.jpeg

Edited by WhatTheBuck
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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105336

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I don't like cats.  And we found out, after getting Shiny, that I'm actually allergic to them.

But I still love him.  I've found myself this week taking every spare moment to scratch the sides of his face, to talk to him, to tell him he's been a good cat, a good companion for the boy, and that he did his job and did it well.  And every time, I try not to cry.  I'm not having great luck with that.

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TwiceHorn

TwiceHorn 31536

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Cats can grow on you, bigtime.  They're fascinating animals, but you can't want them to be dogs.  They're wilder.  And while tons of stray, pretty wild cats become satisfactory housecats, hardly anyone ever adopts a stray, wildish dog with good success.  It's all about socialization.

Both my parents grew up in the country and my Dad had a beloved dog.  Influenced no doubt by our friends and my best friend that had an enormous lab cooped up in their house and back yard that was twice the size of ours, my Dad declared that it was not cool to have a dog in the city, where it couldn't run free.  In view of this dogcott from Dad, at one point, me, my Mom, and my Grandmother living with us while undergoing cancer treatment adopted an orange tuxedo, much like Shiny Cat, that appeared at the back door.  Dad didn't even know he was ours for about a year and a half.  I initially thought Tigger a pale substitute for a dog, but he was not.  He was a very good boy.

Wife is a cat fan (surprise), but I like them too and we have two and they are great little companions.

Sorry about your confluence of troubles, brisket.  You'll do the right thing in every case.  This too shall pass.

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fattyflattie

fattyflattie 4638

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A stray kitten recently showed up around our house.  I gave it 4-5 nights before I broke down and we took her in.  My wife was a cat person and lost both of her VERY old cats a few years ago.  I've talked about me having to put one down here.  The new kitten has been great.  Better times ahead @Brisketexan  And they all hurt this bad, and we know it, but it's still worth it to have them in our lives.

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dcbc

dcbc 14509

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35 minutes ago, WhatTheBuck said:

In case of fire, you want a dog. Not a cat. A dog will risk its life to save yours. A cat will say, ‘Fuck you, I’m out!’

The cat started the fire.

While I'm not a cat person, I don't mind cats.  Lola was a good outdoor cat for 11 years.  But he decided to relocate to one of his myriad other homes when we adopted Gracie the schnoodle. 

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

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Sorry man, in some ways the pets I’ve lost seem to hit harder than people.  I think it has a lot to do with the fact that you’re solely responsible for them and they exist to be your companion, yet you have to make the life or death call.  Good luck getting through this.  I’m sure you’re doing the right thing by them whether it feels like it or not.  

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Onboard 2.0

Onboard 2.0 9083

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It doesn't even matter that a beloved pet is beyond quality of life, and needs to be humanely put down. It's one of those times when the right answer only causes pain and misery for a family.  

Most of us, I'm sure have had to make that decision, and it is always a gut punch.  Sorry you, and the family have to go thru it.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105336

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FUCK.  We may not make it through today with our dog.  I'm fucking serious.  We may be putting down BOTH our cat and our dog.  Today.  My daughter knows the dog is ailing....but she's going to be blindsided by this, if we put her down today.  Shit, my wife and I are blindsided by just the fact that we're talking about the possibility.

But her breathing is just getting more labored.  Her reluctance to eat is now turning to almost uniform refusal, even of her favorite things, salmon and bacon.  She just stretches out, panting.  She's not comfortable.  And she's not going to get any better, we're talking to the vet, but I don't think there's any reasonable palliative care that we can provide.

Jesus fucking Christ.  This is fucking awful, and it's just getting worse.

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21469

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45 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

They’re both gone.

We have a completely heartbroken family right now.

We don’t have a single living animal in our house.

Sometime in the future you will get a new little buddy who you get to teach how to do all kinds of fun stuff.  The blessing of dogs and cats, and the curse, is that you will have many pass through your life.  RIP Shiny, and I don’t recall if you mentioned the doggies name, but I’m quite certain he/she was a very good boy/girl.

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 46130

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Man, that's awful.

I don't want to step outside the lines, but do you think it might help your kids to get another pet ASAP?  Something for them to put their emotions on?  Probably unrealistic.

We haven't lost super close pets yet with our kids.  Random guinea pigs, yeah.  But our dogs?  Nah, that's gonna hurt.  I don't really know what's the best way to help kids through that, other than hugs and, well, hugs.

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Patron

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1 hour ago, jimmyjazz said:

Man, that's awful.

I don't want to step outside the lines, but do you think it might help your kids to get another pet ASAP?  Something for them to put their emotions on?  Probably unrealistic.

We haven't lost super close pets yet with our kids.  Random guinea pigs, yeah.  But our dogs?  Nah, that's gonna hurt.  I don't really know what's the best way to help kids through that, other than hugs and, well, hugs.

I've lost a few pups over the years and while I suffer mostly alone, I always think how much worse it would be if I had kids. That would kick it up to a whole other level.

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Sorry brother. Our pets charm our hearts, and then we are crushed when they go through life's processes.

When you talked about hoping your lab lives until your daughter gets to see it, my wife and I have been through the same hopes and thoughts as our terrier mix ha developed a nagging cough and got to where she was just laboring like hell just to breathe. Vet said it was not cancerous and the growth they found on ultrasound was actually receding. Her spunky, playful self has returned, but we don't know for how long.  The caveat to this is that our youngest son, 22, is in Spain and it is actually his dog that he had as a teenager.  He is coming home on leave next month and now it looks like his Roo will get to be there for him.  We had no idea how we were going to tell him if we had to put her down.

 

Again, sorry.

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21888

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So sorry Brisket.  Put my best friend in the world down a couple of weeks ago and it absolutely crushed my soul.  His presence in our house filled it with energy, and it’s not there anymore.  But that’s the deal we sign on for with pets.  And it does suck.   In a massive way.  Peace be with you.

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BigDHornfan

BigDHornfan 6550

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So sorry Brisket.
We've got 2 cats, a fish, a 17 year old deaf dog that is starting to show signs of dementia, a 6 year old doofus dog, and a new puppy that we've had for 2 weeks.  
I can't imagine our house without any animals in it.  All the feels for you and your family.

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