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Shameless Bragging and Oneupsmanship Thread


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Posted
22 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Back in 82 I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. 

BFD.  With inflation, that's only like 40 yds today

 

I once came in third place in a school-wide Rubik's Cube contest.

 

And I also don't get a stimulus check.

 

Posted
I’m an extremely fair-skinned hispanic, an absolute killer combo when it comes to dating (no joke). I have a great personality/sense of humor to boot. Back in high school my nickname was “loser” because all the girls would lose their virginities to me. I can still pull dimes but I’ve calmed down a lot in recent years. Running joke in my social circle is that if you have a girlfriend it’s because I let you have her. 


Did they also call you a Cool Arrow?
  • Haha 1
Posted

Still have most of my hair on my head (high 90’s percentile) after 54 years and regularly get compliments on it. I’m the product of great hair on both sides of the family. My stylist loves the fact that I need to have this quaff maintained way more than most and I tip well for the frequent attention needed, Al is no Mr. Pink, even still today having to never received any stimulus.  
Al also cooks the world best Duck flambé. 
 

Posted
21 hours ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Just spitballing' here,  but if you were the laziest son of a bitch, wouldn't you be too lazy to post on this thread ?

There's always room to get even better.

Posted
16 minutes ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

Right after college I had a month long fling with an absolute nympho freak. The fling ended when she moved away to LA and wound up being a big time porn star landing a spot in the AVN Hall of Fame. 

Links to said  movies. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
On 3/19/2021 at 2:50 PM, TrashMaster G said:

I once came in third place in a school-wide Rubik's Cube contest.

 

I once came in 3rd place in a high school shot put competition. (only three were entered)

Posted (edited)

I quite likely have the largest cock of anyone on this board.

[spoiler]
why the fuck are you trying to look at my cock?

[/spoiler]

Edit: It is a richness offset by my inability to execute a proper goddam fucking spoiler tag.

Edited by Goredho
Posted
Right after college I had a month long fling with an absolute nympho freak. The fling ended when she moved away to LA and wound up being a big time porn star landing a spot in the AVN Hall of Fame. 


Was it Ron Jeremy?
  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 2
  • Haha 5
Posted (edited)
46 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

dont get it over your head GIF

I'm guessing they don't have punters in Arena Football.  

I think you might have missed my joke as well.

Edited by Bullneck
Posted

Well then have I got a business venture opportunity for you!  I could be fined just for telling you this, but you seem like a nice cat.  

Music streaming/FinTech play, about to be bought by a major music service for a 3x after just 18 months.  Thanks to Covid-19 actually.  

Guy like you, I could see you coming for in a nice slice.  Have your girl call mine. 

Posted

That's pretty damn impressive.  Even if it was just 1/3rd of the drive and you went slow and got lost, I'd still give you rep.  

We used to regularly drive (1-2x/year) to my in-laws and it was a 13-hour drive...each way.  Call it 25 hours round-trip to be generous.  If she drove 20% of that, I was aghast.  

Posted
49 minutes ago, gyroprotagonist said:

on a 30hr round trip my wife drove ~10 of those hours and we did not get lost, wreck or go slow.  end thread?

Is your ‘wife’ a man? Because it doesn’t count if it is. 
Not judging, nor is anything wrong with it. 

Posted
9 hours ago, gyroprotagonist said:

on a 30hr round trip my wife drove ~10 of those hours and we did not get lost, wreck or go slow.  end thread?

Married to a transwoman?

Posted
7 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

 

 

I can masturbate equally well with either hand.

 

 

Well I can masturbate equally well with either foot.

  • Haha 1
Posted

I once bought beer on Sunday in a county that did not allow it. Took the six-pack to the register, line of people behind me, clerk just rang it up.

It worked because I was hung over enough that I had no idea it was Sunday. I think maybe the clerk was hung over too.

Posted (edited)

With one advanced phone call, I get to enter the Union Club in Manhattan whenever I want, with any guests.  Because of the Hearst/McInerney families.  

Also, I get 20% off F&B at Top Golf anywhere in Texas.  

Edited by Lobo
Posted (edited)
On 3/19/2021 at 10:44 AM, Judge Roybeanbag said:

I'm quite possibly the laziest son of a bitch that ever lived. 

5K posts in three years? You industrious sob.

Edited by ShaggyBevo RIP

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