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America is in a sex recession

Apep

By Apep
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Apep

Apep 645

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Here’s the wonderful summary. Key points include 30% of singles not having sex in the last year, pre-COVID. One in 20 non-virgin women over the age of 25 hasn’t had sex in 10 years! 

Spoiler

There isn’t really good evidence that the number of celibate adults under the age of 50 has steadily grown over the past 10 years. Rates of sexlessness are highest in the most recent waves of both NSFG and the GSS, but there’s no way of knowing whether this is merely a blip, or a sign of things to come. 

That doesn’t detract from the fact almost 30% of single respondents of either survey report not having sex for the past year. Since sex is almost always a precursor to a long-term relationship, this means that a meaningfully large minority isn’t even in the ballpark of finding a partner. Meanwhile, about one in seven never-married adults do not aspire to marriage. Some portion of these marriage-eschewers is probably missing out on the potential for a fulfilling sexual relationship outside the bounds of matrimony—and perhaps even a relationship that might ultimately change their minds about marriage.

These trends here have other implications for human well-being. Most people want to be married; an even larger majority aspires to some sort of intimate relationship. Furthermore, Americans are having fewer children than they’d like. Even when sex doesn’t lead directly to children—most obviously, for same-sex couples—it may advance a relationship that will eventually result in childbirth or adoption. On the plus side of the ledger, few people will dispute the benefits of fewer unwanted pregnancies—a subset of unintended pregnancies—and fewer teen pregnancies.

More broadly, the Sex Recession tells us something about modern life. We’ve been bowling alone for decades now, withdrawing from various social institutions. Perhaps withdrawal from sex is the logical next step? Some Americans have somehow sublimated, submerged, or substituted their innately human desire for sex in lives increasingly lived online, in social media, and in video games. This trend has only gathered speed in the isolation imposed by the Coronavirus pandemic (and early indications are less than encouraging). What will happen when we emerge, perhaps blinking and unsteady on our feet, from our annus horribilis of isolation? Will there be an uptick in sex, or will we just have gotten out of the habit

 

 

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CooterBrown

CooterBrown 18100

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Women who want to have sex, do have sex. They’ve got it easy because men are sluts. If you’re decent looking woman, you can just point to any guy and odds are high they’ll be willing to fuck you within 15 minutes of saying hello. If you’re not attractive, you may have to go down to your 2nd or 3rd choice, but you’re still getting laid.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105677

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Lack of sex is a trailing indicator.  We are in a "meaningful personal relationships" recession.  At the same time we're "more connected than ever" (and actually, it may be in part BECAUSE of that), we're lonelier than ever.  We are becoming an isolated and lonely people, and that's unhealthy for 10,000 reasons.  The fact that it keeps you from getting your rocks off is but one of those reasons.  I mean, it's a BIG one.  But it ain't the only one.

We need connection.   We need intimacy.  And when we get those things, we also have pull-the-sheets-off-the-bed-and-make-the-neighbors-worry-about-those-noises sex.  We need all of those things.  We'd be a much happier people if we had more of them.

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Upgrayedd

Upgrayedd 5827

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19 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Lack of sex is a trailing indicator.  We are in a "meaningful personal relationships" recession.  At the same time we're "more connected than ever" (and actually, it may be in part BECAUSE of that), we're lonelier than ever.  We are becoming an isolated and lonely people, and that's unhealthy for 10,000 reasons.  The fact that it keeps you from getting your rocks off is but one of those reasons.  I mean, it's a BIG one.  But it ain't the only one.

We need connection.   We need intimacy.  And when we get those things, we also have pull-the-sheets-off-the-bed-and-make-the-neighbors-worry-about-those-noises sex.  We need all of those things.  We'd be a much happier people if we had more of them.

I can’t fap to this

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ztejas

ztejas 43775

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15 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Lack of sex is a trailing indicator.  We are in a "meaningful personal relationships" recession.  At the same time we're "more connected than ever" (and actually, it may be in part BECAUSE of that), we're lonelier than ever.  We are becoming an isolated and lonely people, and that's unhealthy for 10,000 reasons.  The fact that it keeps you from getting your rocks off is but one of those reasons.  I mean, it's a BIG one.  But it ain't the only one.

We need connection.   We need intimacy.  And when we get those things, we also have pull-the-sheets-off-the-bed-and-make-the-neighbors-worry-about-those-noises sex.  We need all of those things.  We'd be a much happier people if we had more of them.

Well... sex has to be physical. So a move towards digital interaction vs. physical interaction (like we've seen the past ~20 years) would predictably result in less sex being had. 

I'm not sure if I buy that loneliness (at least in a self-prescribed sense) is a symptom of a lack of physical interaction regardless of digital interaction. I agree that physical or face to face interaction is important and healthier in a lot of ways to digital interaction - but "loneliness" seems like a tricky word there - I suppose because it could be used to both describe someone's lifestyle and express one's personal feelings. i.e. she might be by herself a lot but that doesn't mean she feels lonely. 

Some of this is human psychology that we are just beginning to study so I'm not sure there is much in the way of right vs. wrong. 

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workswithseed

workswithseed 2142

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44 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Lack of sex is a trailing indicator.  We are in a "meaningful personal relationships" recession.  At the same time we're "more connected than ever" (and actually, it may be in part BECAUSE of that), we're lonelier than ever.  We are becoming an isolated and lonely people, and that's unhealthy for 10,000 reasons.  The fact that it keeps you from getting your rocks off is but one of those reasons.  I mean, it's a BIG one.  But it ain't the only one.

We need connection.   We need intimacy.  And when we get those things, we also have pull-the-sheets-off-the-bed-and-make-the-neighbors-worry-about-those-noises sex.  We need all of those things.  We'd be a much happier people if we had more of them.

But free porn, or fake girlfriends that love it when I give them money on Only fans.

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LABEVO

LABEVO 928

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Lots of debate of the driver behind of this with many citing dating apps. Women don’t have to go down market for lower quality men as they can just find better quality on apps. 
 

women aren’t having sex that much less. The largest group is younger men. 

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Somnio

Somnio 751

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4 minutes ago, LABEVO said:

Lots of debate of the driver behind of this with many citing dating apps. Women don’t have to go down market for lower quality men as they can just find better quality on apps. 
 

women aren’t having sex that much less. The largest group is younger men. 

I'm not sure it's true, but I recently read something along the lines that the top 20% of men are banging the top 80% of women.  As a result the bottom 80% of men are left to compete for the leftover 20% of women the "Alpha" males aren't interested in.

"Dating" apps were  cited as the reason behind this phenomenon.

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aggie08

aggie08 21603

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11 minutes ago, Kyle said:

Insufferable Karens + Beta Culture = No Sex.

 

10 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Men are becoming more feminine, so many women have decided "What's the point?"

 

7 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Can't be true, not with all that coiffed, 3 day beard stubble on all the hipsters... that's real he man stuff.

God damn, you've gotten really fast at switching to your other user names.

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troph

troph 24929

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32 minutes ago, Onboard 2.0 said:

Yeah, but I'm not sure relations with barn yard animals counts as having real sex..

 you need to get laid, it will improve your mood dramatically making you less hostile toward those who do.

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Guest

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27 minutes ago, LABEVO said:

Lots of debate of the driver behind of this with many citing dating apps. Women don’t have to go down market for lower quality men as they can just find better quality on apps. 
 

women aren’t having sex that much less. The largest group is younger men. 

Yeah, just read the "divorce" thread on here and none of those cats talk about missing out on pussy once they get their feet under themselves in recovery.  I've had plenty of friends/ coworkers go through the dating scene in their 30's or later,  and they basically have to beat pussy off with a stick if they are playing the game.

Some of the younger incel types?  IDFK.  Never been around that type.  it does seem to be a significant portion of the populace though.  Fucking weirdos.   Go slay some pussy like we did at that age...

Edited by slorch
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Homercles

Homercles 10206

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5 minutes ago, Somnio said:

I'm not sure it's true, but I recently read something along the lines that the top 20% of men are banging the top 80% of women.  As a result the bottom 80% of men are left to compete for the leftover 20% of women the "Alpha" males aren't interested in.

"Dating" apps were  cited as the reason behind this phenomenon.

I’m much more inclined to believe this...

4 minutes ago, Kyle said:

Insufferable Karens + Beta Culture = No Sex.

...than this hot take.  
 

However there’s no simple, generalized take that spans that large of an age range.  For the younger hetero folk I’m inclined to believe that dating apps allow the supply (DTF ladies) are enabled to be pickier on how they respond to demand (horny dudes).  
 

I have also read a survey somewhere that noted married folk, that tend to be at the higher end of this study’s age range, are having less sex as well.   I think a mix of technology and culture are heavy factors (no, not ‘beta culture’ whatever the fuck that means).  Parents of the 1950s didn’t have endless entertainment / distractions via their phones/Netflix/etc and I’m also inclined to believe they weren’t juggling 14 different activities for their children, working all manner of odd hours remotely, and generally quite as exhausted as modern parents trying to keep up with Instagram.  
 

I know this article only covers a decade but I bet it’s been a long decline in general as the complexity of modern life grows while accelerating technology broadens the ability to find entertainment elsewhere and the ability to ‘window shop’ if you’re single.  Luckily I also contributed positively last Friday with a non virgin 25+ woman who isn’t South Austin’s mom.  
 

Who knows but look forward to more of Kyle’s hilarious inputs.  

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Homercles

Homercles 10206

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17 minutes ago, slorch said:

Yeah, just read the "divorce" thread on here and none of those cats talk about missing out on pussy once they get their feet under themselves in recovery.  I've had plenty of friends/ coworkers go through the dating scene in their 30's or later,  and they basically have to beat pussy off with a stick if they are playing the game.

Some of the younger incel types?  IDFK.  Never been around that type.  it does seem to be a significant portion of the populace though.  Fucking weirdos.   Go slay some pussy like we did at that age...

Yeah and some of them seem to grab guns or go down conspiracy holes or whatever else they do out of loneliness, anger, boredom and frustration.  Not sure i would label them weirdos but definitely need to find what factors are driving it...not sure ‘back in my day we did xyz you weirdos’ helps.  
 

Japan, often considered bleeding edge with tech, have a severe problem in this regard from what I’ve read.  Men of all ages completely drop out of ‘real life’ society and hole up in their 5x9 apartments completely removing themselves from the gene pool.  
 

Point being there are multiple factors that seem to affect more susceptible people severely...not just in seeking mates but also propaganda and other elements of their life.  

Edited by Homercles
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Just now, Homercles said:

Yeah and some of them seem to grab guns or go down conspiracy holes or whatever else they do out of loneliness, anger, boredom and frustration.  Not sure did label them weirdos but definitely need to find what factors are driving it...not sure ‘back in my day we did xyz you weirdos’ helps.  
 

Japan, often considered bleeding edge with tech, have a severe problem in this regard from what I’ve read.  Men of all ages completely drop out of ‘real life’ society and hole up in their 5x9 apartments completely removing themselves from the gene pool.  
 

Point being there are multiple factors that seem to affect more susceptible people severely...not just in seeking mates but also propaganda and other elements of their life.  

self esteem and confidence?  We spend so much time taking down boundaries and eliminating expectations, then we wonder why people don't do anything constructive.

It all works together...

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Nivek

Nivek 17070

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8 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Lack of sex is a trailing indicator.  We are in a "meaningful personal relationships" recession.  At the same time we're "more connected than ever" (and actually, it may be in part BECAUSE of that), we're lonelier than ever.  We are becoming an isolated and lonely people, and that's unhealthy for 10,000 reasons.  The fact that it keeps you from getting your rocks off is but one of those reasons.  I mean, it's a BIG one.  But it ain't the only one.

We need connection.   We need intimacy.  And when we get those things, we also have pull-the-sheets-off-the-bed-and-make-the-neighbors-worry-about-those-noises sex.  We need all of those things.  We'd be a much happier people if we had more of them.

Someone needs a hug.  

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105677

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Someone needs a hug.  

Shit, my sex life has never been better. Seriously, we’re one of those lucky couples for whole the pandemic and being at home has worked out very well. And intertwined with that is how our overall relationship has fared: very well.

But I see a shitload of people for whom the opposite is the case. And I’d actually seen it happening well before Covid.

When you see a collapse of the institutions and activities that used to function to connect people, create overlap in social/friend groups, etc, you end up with loneliness. See plummeting church attendance, dropping CFB attendance, that sort of thing. How many of y’all made friends/got laid through connections at church or among tailgating groups? Take those away, and your odds go down.

I’ve written a lot on this board about how our culture has become one that values individualism, at the expense of community. Much of what I’ve said has been in the political context, but it’s of course much bigger than that. Hell, I think like the sex recession, our politics may be a trailing indicator of a greater and unhealthy social trend.

We’re all better off if we spend more time together, see each other at church picnics and tailgates and social clubs, and get to meet that cute friend of a friend, and end up clicking and having some great monkey sex and maybe even an emotionally fulfilling relationship. We should do more of that.
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gmr548

gmr548 16645

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1 hour ago, Homercles said:

Parents of the 1950s didn’t have endless entertainment / distractions via their phones/Netflix/etc and I’m also inclined to believe they weren’t juggling 14 different activities for their children, working all manner of odd hours remotely, and generally quite as exhausted as modern parents trying to keep up with Instagram.  

Women in the 1950's didn't necessarily have the option to say no either.

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19289

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I’m on a 2.5 week dry spell (spring break with the kids in the same hotel Room and then visit from Aunt Flo). This is my longest non pregnancy dry spell of my 11 year old marriage. Not super awesome. I can’t fathom the people who are non virgins going year+ without it. 

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Superhero

Superhero 8898

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Like Brisket said above, my sex life hasn’t been this good since my wife and I were first married. Working from home a few days a week means I can help out with the kids. She used to be in a bad mood by the time I got home because she was handling them by herself as she was trying to cook dinner.

Combo that with me seeing a therapist about my explosive temper, the mood at home is much calmer.

I’d say we have sex 6-8 times per month now. Wish it was more, but from talking to a few buddies, I know I’m having it real good. 

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Bevo

Bevo 13657

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7 minutes ago, Superhero said:

Combo that with me seeing a therapist about my explosive temper, the mood at home is much calmer.

 

I don't know how much you paid your therapist, but for $9.95 I could have told you to cut back on watching UT athletics.

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