Airport shitters thread

[Gil Bang 25974]

I’m at DFW for a couple hours. Where’s the best spot to take a dump?

[956 Worldwide 34715]

I almost always find a men’s room with a open stall. But try something different— the candy rack at Hudson News, the carryon bag measuring thing at the departure gate— and report back to us. 

[royiv 9324]

26 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

 

I’m at DFW for a couple hours. Where’s the best spot to take a dump?

 

If you don't mind leaving security, take a dump at the Grand Hyatt in Terminal D.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

Is there a bank at the Airport?  I hear shitting in a bank lobby is the way to go.

[hookemATL 11754]

Use the handicap/family bathroom. If someone calls you out tell them you have a stutter and you had a kid with you when you initially went in. 

[Underdog 28710]

Airport Hot or Not  thread >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Airport Shitters thread.  

[Landomatic 3813]

38 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I almost always find a men’s room with a open stall. But try something different— the candy rack at Hudson News, the carryon bag measuring thing at the departure gate— and report back to us. 

It's not illegal, it's frowned upon.  Like masterbating on an airplane.

[52-80 19162]

Seat 2A

[Pescado_Rojo 19421]

Admiral's club is the best, but D terminal has the newest shitters in the public spaces. Look for one near the ends. The one near the duty free shops gets crowded. 

[Pescado_Rojo 19421]

E is pretty nice, and not usually too crowded. That's the terminal for all the non AA domestic flights. 

[DCA_HORN 725]

I find the most shit is spewed at the AA customer service desk so avoid that. Sneak into the uso?

[Chewbacca 7780]

This is how you know the earth is healing.  Threads like this.

[Chewbacca 7780]

2 hours ago, Landomatic said:

It's not illegal, it's frowned upon.  Like masterbating on an airplane.

Thanks Rex Kramer...I mean Bin Laden.

[Updawg 2268]

Find the one closest to spirit airlines gates

[Guest Lobo]

4 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

Is there a bank at the Airport?  I hear shitting in a bank lobby is the way to go.

You can't shit in the actual lobby.  It's frowned upon now, something about Dodd-Frank or somesuch law.  

[HornOnTheBayou 8931]

4 hours ago, royiv said:

If you don't mind leaving security, take a dump at the Grand Hyatt in Terminal D.

Listen to this man. Hotel lobby bathrooms are always so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump.

Edited April 1, 2021 by HornOnTheBayou

[RPM 26322]

Robert Schimmel summed up airport bathrooms pretty well.

 

[South Austin 52519]

13 hours ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

Listen to this man. Hotel lobby bathrooms are always so sanitary and squared away that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in and take a dump.

I love a good Four Seasons lobby dump.

Whenever traveling with my ex, I avoided shitting in the bathroom in our hotel room because I’m the kind of guy who, even after 15 years of marriage, still didn’t want to call attention to the fact that I laid some foul-smelling shits that wouldn’t clear out until the cleaning service came by. So in the morning I would “go out for coffee” (and she probably knew what that meant) and then spend the next 30 minutes sitting on a pristine hotel lobby shitter reading Surly (formerly Shaggy).

[956 Worldwide 34715]

I’ve been married 17 years with two kids and can confirm that many of my best memories are also of some peaceful dumps I took. 

[Brisketexan 105154]

3 hours ago, South Austin said:

I love a good Four Seasons lobby dump.

Whenever traveling with my ex, I avoided shitting in the bathroom in our hotel room because I’m the kind of guy who, even after 15 years of marriage, still didn’t want to call attention to the fact that I laid some foul-smelling shits that wouldn’t clear out until the cleaning service came by. So in the morning I would “go out for coffee” (and she probably knew what that meant) and then spend the next 30 minutes sitting on a pristine hotel lobby shitter reading Surly (formerly Shaggy).

Jesus, dude.  A good dump in a shared bathroom is how you assert dominance.  Well, at least in the "damn right I take nasty dumps" capacity.

[Guest Lobo]

I used to have an unparalleled working iToilet knowledge of the best hotel/office lobby bathroom shitters in all of downtown/Capitol area/campus. Then the camping ban got lifted and I realized holding it in misery was better than sitting on a fresh needle.  

[Kennythetiger 9389]

8 hours ago, South Austin said:

I love a good Four Seasons lobby dump.

Whenever traveling with my ex, I avoided shitting in the bathroom in our hotel room because I’m the kind of guy who, even after 15 years of marriage, still didn’t want to call attention to the fact that I laid some foul-smelling shits that wouldn’t clear out until the cleaning service came by. So in the morning I would “go out for coffee” (and she probably knew what that meant) and then spend the next 30 minutes sitting on a pristine hotel lobby shitter reading Surly (formerly Shaggy).

Yep.  Me too.  I have also found peace in the restrooms in the indoor swimming pool rooms.  

[RMac5 1551]

Even on road trips I use the hotel restrooms. 

[SimonBolivar 10958]

On 4/1/2021 at 1:51 PM, Pescado_Rojo said:

Admiral's club is the best, but D terminal has the newest shitters in the public spaces. Look for one near the ends. The one near the duty free shops gets crowded. 

[South Austin 52519]

I’ve taken lots of shits in the New Braunfels HEB. I have a fair amount of Bexar County cases and whenever I have to drive to San Antonio for hearings, depositions, mediations, I often stop there for my morning dump on the way. It’s always clean and quiet that early in the morning, and I trust it over the Bexar County Courthouse and most office buildings.

[Gil Bang 25974]

the answer is Terminal D, upstairs adjacent to "Club DFW".   It's a private, 1 hole job, so I can clean my asshole with multiple moistened paper towels without anyone judging. 

[midtown 3346]

I only shit in the clubs.   Forget the free booze, food, and big comfy chairs without the poors.  It's the shittters that make it worth every penny.  

[millhouse 2614]

The shower rooms in the international lounges. Never know when you'll need the option to rinse off. 

The private cabana rooms in the Cathay first class lounge in HKG is ready for prime time after the noodle bar.

[Armybrat 40850]

Worst traveling shitter I ever had the forced misfortune to use was in the basement of the old US Customs House in Laredo 60 years ago. All of the dozen stalls were full of unflushed shit.

[mininghorn88 2293]

The toilet paper dispenser is outside of the two stalls at the airport in Riohacha, Colombia. You really need to pay attention before you go and drop a deuce at an international toilet.

I have been to several foreign countries where you had to squat and straddle a hole in the ground. There is also usually a trash can by the toilet to throw your used TP away since the plumbing cannot handle such waste.

[midtown 3346]

1 hour ago, mininghorn88 said:

The toilet paper dispenser is outside of the two stalls at the airport in Riohacha, Colombia. You really need to pay attention before you go and drop a deuce at an international toilet.

I am pretty sure I had to BUY some TP before dropping the kids in Colombia.  Trying to remember where that was.

[threesheets 1673]

On 4/2/2021 at 3:09 AM, RPM said:

Robert Schimmel summed up airport bathrooms pretty well.

 

That's good.  But not this good.

 

[BabaYaga 15301]

On 4/1/2021 at 10:02 AM, Gil Bang said:

 

I’m at DFW for a couple hours. Where’s the best spot to take a dump?

 

Oh, you don't have an Admirals Club membership.....how quaint.....

 

[Gil Bang 25974]

4 hours ago, mininghorn88 said:

The toilet paper dispenser is outside of the two stalls at the airport in Riohacha, Colombia. You really need to pay attention before you go and drop a deuce at an international toilet.

I have been to several foreign countries where you had to squat and straddle a hole in the ground. There is also usually a trash can by the toilet to throw your used TP away since the plumbing cannot handle such waste.

Took me a minute to figure out that Narita had both options, and the stall doors were marked accordingly.   

[mininghorn88 2293]

10 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

Took me a minute to figure out that Narita had both options, and the stall doors were marked accordingly.   

Yes, major airports will have both usually.  However, I have been to some very remote airports visiting mine sites which which are little more than landing strips.

I was at an airport above the Arctic Circle in Russia once and they were still using an Abacus to count money!

[Bender Bending Rodriguez 1689]

Nothing to add as an airport shitter option, but my realtor buddy always talks about how common it is for people to pop into his Open Houses just to take a shit. 

[Armybrat 40850]

51 minutes ago, mininghorn88 said:

Yes, major airports will have both usually.  However, I have been to some very remote airports visiting mine sites which which are little more than landing strips.

I was at an airport above the Arctic Circle in Russia once and they were still using an Abacus to count money!

And what was the problem?

 

[Brisketexan 105154]

I've shit places you people wouldn't believe. Rural Pemex bathrooms. I watched shit-spattered walls tell me "nope, don't come in her" near my Ukraine International Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to shit.

[CycleTex87 2972]

Nevermind

Edited April 6, 2021 by CycleTex87

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

5 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

I've shit places you people wouldn't believe. Rural Pemex bathrooms. I watched shit-spattered walls tell me "nope, don't come in her" near my Ukraine International Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to shit.

If the walls are shit-splattered I wouldn’t count on that being either tears or rain

[shnsajax 3591]

On 4/1/2021 at 11:13 AM, 956 Worldwide said:

I almost always find a men’s room with a open stall. But try something different— the candy rack at Hudson News, the carryon bag measuring thing at the departure gate— and report back to us. 

We got those breast feeding pods up here. If babies can drop a duece in them, I don't see why you can't either. 

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

On 4/5/2021 at 3:53 PM, Bender Bending Rodriguez said:

Nothing to add as an airport shitter option, but my realtor buddy always talks about how common it is for people to pop into his Open Houses just to take a shit. 

 

 

That's not why they call them "open houses"?

 

[wood 11227]

On 4/5/2021 at 5:25 PM, Brisketexan said:

I've shit places you people wouldn't believe. Rural Pemex bathrooms. I watched shit-spattered walls tell me "nope, don't come in her" near my Ukraine International Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to shit.

You've done a man's job, sir...

[luke duke 6413]

I've shit places you people wouldn't believe. Rural Pemex bathrooms. I watched shit-spattered walls tell me "nope, don't come in her" near my Ukraine International Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to shit.

The horror, the horror...

[bschoolprof 6263]

On 4/2/2021 at 6:11 AM, South Austin said:

I love a good Four Seasons lobby dump.

Whenever traveling with my ex, I avoided shitting in the bathroom in our hotel room because I’m the kind of guy who, even after 15 years of marriage, still didn’t want to call attention to the fact that I laid some foul-smelling shits that wouldn’t clear out until the cleaning service came by. So in the morning I would “go out for coffee” (and she probably knew what that meant) and then spend the next 30 minutes sitting on a pristine hotel lobby shitter reading Surly (formerly Shaggy).

She was banging the room service guy while you were gone.  

[Brisketexan 105154]

5 minutes ago, bschoolprof said:

She was banging the room service guy while you were gone.  

Oh....so you DO know South Austin's personal history?

[South Austin 52519]

2 hours ago, Brisketexan said:

Oh....so you DO know South Austin's personal history?

 

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

When you’re done, be sure to slide your foot just under the wall to the next stall and tap your foot. 

[52-80 19162]

Not having reasonable access to public toilets is a very Things that Make You Surly event. 

In major urban centers, big hotels are a solid. 

In smaller places like older european cities where hotels are small independent hotels, without big lobby or even lobby pisser, and with very few anonymous chain restaurants around... you can really be caught out.  Then, just gotta water the plants and hope you dont get busted by the gendarmerie or carabinieri

[bluto 4932]

Oh....so you DO know South Austin's personal history?

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