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Posted

It's often the same guy, but I've always been annoyed by certain types of people (usually guys):

 

1. Ford vs Chevy guy - I mean really, is there that big of a difference?  yet, some of these guys are religious about picking a brand and then denigrating the other into  Bolivia. 

2. Indie music snob guy - 199_ SXSW. "What's this band called again?  Modest Mouse? They're pretty cool." IMSG "yea, heard them in Raleigh back in 91.......before they sold out"

3. Loud gym guy - Never knew maxing out at 200 could cause a grown man to squeal like a 12 year old girl at a Nickelback concert.  Yeah we get it, you're ripped.

4. Naked dude at gym guy - usually an old.  Usually insists on blowdrying his sack on the bench.....less than a foot away from me.

5.Look at that touch guy - this guy was very prevalent in the Major/Chris Simms days.  Every time Major lofted a pass, someone sitting next to me has to say "look at that touch....."

6. Get in the hole guy -  You're not helping it get in the hole though I'm sure Vijay Singh appreciates it.

7. Likes to fight guy - also turns into "hold me back" guy when the other guy does actually want to fight.  If that doesn't work, he becomes "I'm from insert tough blue collar city, you don't want none of this guy. "

8. Chevy vs Ford guy - see point 1.

 

 

 

Am I the only one annoyed by these guys?  Maybe I'm a bit too thin skinned.  Any other annoying "guys?"

Posted

unsolicited-but-very-specific travel advice guy

 

"me and the family are going to maui next week"

"oh? go to the black tiki seafood hut, its after the 4th green house when you take a left at the post office, ask for the sous chef charles to prepare a pineapple snapper, then go hang-gliding with his cousin dave from the pahoehoe outfitters center.  its the best"

 

uh oh thanks

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 4:03 PM, 52-80 said:

unsolicited-but-very-specific travel advice guy

 

"me and the family are going to maui next week"

"oh? go to the black tiki seafood hut, its after the 4th green house when you take a left at the post office, ask for the sous chef charles to prepare a pineapple snapper, then go hang-gliding with his cousin dave from the pahoehoe outfitters center.  its the best"

 

uh oh thanks

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And this guy always tacks on "tell them I sent you and he'll take care of you/offer you a discount,"  yes, you're kind of a big deal. 

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Posted

1.  Wants to tell you/remind you how awesome his 8 year old is at sports guy

2.  Wants to tell you about the bad beat he got in his last game of poker guy (frankly I don't want to hear any of your fucking poker stories)

on the other hand the worst is

3.  Introverted/tense weirdo who can't be normal and have a relaxed guy-conversation guy

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 4:26 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

Have I given y'all any stock tips? Because I'm KILLING IT (while the market is up, when it's down, don't talk to me)

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You have given me stock tips,so, much obliged to you. But now I'm officially triggered.  Stock tanks?  Oh I dumped it last week you held on guy.  Stock explodes?  Glad I held, did you sell guy.

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Posted (edited)
  On 4/13/2021 at 4:23 PM, Surly Bevo said:

1.  Wants to tell you/remind you how awesome his 8 year old is at sports guy

2.  Wants to tell you about the bad beat he got in his last game of poker guy (frankly I don't want to hear any of your fucking poker stories)

on the other hand the worst is

3.  Introverted/tense weirdo who can't be normal and have a relaxed guy-conversation guy

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  On 4/13/2021 at 4:25 PM, Braff Zacklin said:

Both @That Guy and @Thatguy post here.

Doubt they appreciate the cut of your jib, OP.

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  I am def guilty of number one on the provided list. But shit man, what else are we doing these days but raising kids?

Edited by Thatguy
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Posted

"I'm a seventh generation Texan" guy.  

Never have so many "men" been so proud of something that had absolutely zero to do with.  

I've lived here 25 years, and I'll never understand why it's a big deal to y'all to have been born where your mother's vagina was located.

Posted (edited)

You're right, I don't.  But I certainly understand the location of your mother's vagina. 

Prone.  We call it Prone.  Susceptibly Moist is another term.  

Edited by Lobo
Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 4:30 PM, closetohumping said:

You have given me stock tips,so, much obliged to you. But now I'm officially triggered.  Stock tanks?  Oh I dumped it last week you held on guy.  Stock explodes?  Glad I held, did you sell guy.

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Sticking with the theme.

 

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 5:45 PM, Sbbruin said:
Um, there is no single person on earth more face punchable than man-bun guy.  Whoever decided that was cool needs a swift kick in the nuts.

I don’t know about that. What about the pro sports team jersey guy (even worse, specifically tailored jerseys guy)?
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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 5:36 PM, closetohumping said:

Hard part guy has to be the vainest guy in hte world.

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Are you talking about like parting your hair on one side with a comb after you get out of the shower?  No good?  

Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:03 PM, General Specific said:


I don’t know about that. What about the pro sports team jersey guy (even worse, specifically tailored jerseys guy)?

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Probably should go in the "getting old" thread, but I've never understood wearing a player's jersey. When I was in school, the only other person that wore your jersey was your girl, and it better be serious. 

Most annoying guy to me is "Topper" guy. You can be telling a story about seeing five people get shot in a drive by, and he'll say, "That's nothing! I remember this one time..." 

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 5:53 PM, lateshow said:

Way too into UFC guy. Look, watching UFC and wearing TapOut gear doesn't make you an actual UFC fighter. 

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This guy is also bedazzled jean, overly tan, too much hair product and roid rage guy

  On 4/13/2021 at 5:41 PM, luke duke said:

 


Htat’s correct.

 

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I always thought your cousin Bo was the star of the series.

  On 4/13/2021 at 5:48 PM, Grade of D as in David said:

Nobody has mentioned crossfit guy?

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Nope.  That guy will burpee me into Bolivia.

Posted
  Quote

4. Naked dude at gym guy - usually an old.  Usually insists on blowdrying his sack on the bench.....less than a foot away from me.

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You can always change in a stall or behind the shower curtain if it bothers you. We all knew that guy when we were high school freshmen.

Blow drying balls is awesome and prevents swamp crotch. You’re supposed to be naked in the locker room. Naked old dudes in gym locker rooms are the ultimate in DGAF, and that makes them rad as hell. They are also making sure their balls are in good shape for some lady attention. 

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:16 PM, Richard Kimball said:

Probably should go in the "getting old" thread, but I've never understood wearing a player's jersey. When I was in school, the only other person that wore your jersey was your girl, and it better be serious. 

Most annoying guy to me is "Topper" guy. You can be telling a story about seeing five people get shot in a drive by, and he'll say, "That's nothing! I remember this one time..." 

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Yeah The topper.  Also dives into the stock market, as mentioned above.  "You got in at 9.00?  Not bad.  I got in at 30.......cents."

Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 5:07 PM, Lobo said:

You're right, I don't.  But I certainly understand the location of your mother's vagina. 

Prone.  We call it Prone.  Susceptibly Moist is another term.  

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You do you, but mom's (and the rest of her) is more like this pic below.  I can give you a location and you can get a shovel if you're really into that kind of thing you sick fuck.

cc9.jpg

Posted (edited)

Absent any other information, it's usually safe to assume that Hard Part Guy is some combination of cop, racist, misogynist, "Pick Up Artist" guy, and/or right-wing Internet troll. 

Fuck Hard Part Guy in the goatass. 

Edited by Prepuce of Doom
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Posted (edited)

Gets too angry at sports guy.  Sometimes that’s us, and we all get it, but if you can’t keep it cool— recognize and watch at home where you can throw a tantrum without being embarrassing.

Obnoxiously doesn’t know/care about the sport/game we are watching guy. Sure, soccer is the beautiful game and so culturally relevant compared to the NFL. Really, “sports ball” is so funny, wow, isn’t it nice we aren’t the assholes who mocked you in high school? Now STFU, we’re watching the game.

Edited by 956 Worldwide
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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:23 PM, davidg said:

You do you, but mom's (and the rest of her) is more like this pic below.  I can give you a location and you can get a shovel if you're really into that kind of thing you sick fuck.

cc9.jpg

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Sorry to hear that.  My dad wanted to be scattered but his parents, at the time, decided it was un-Christian.  For some reason God has all power over all dominion, but he is completely dumbfounded by cremated bodies despite it being the norm for billions of dead humans.  

Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:21 PM, 956 Worldwide said:
  Quote
4. Naked dude at gym guy - usually an old.  Usually insists on blowdrying his sack on the bench.....less than a foot away from me.
You can always change in a stall or behind the shower curtain if it bothers you. We all knew that guy when we were high school freshmen.
Blow drying balls is awesome and prevents swamp crotch. You’re supposed to be naked in the locker room. Naked old dudes in gym locker rooms are the ultimate in DGAF, and that makes them rad as hell. They are also making sure their balls are in good shape for some lady attention. 

^This^

After playing a round of golf, and hoisting a few with the guys at the bar. It’s off to the shower to clean up. Gota be clean to play those last three holes, aka South Austin’s mom!
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