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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:16 PM, Richard Kimball said:

Probably should go in the "getting old" thread, but I've never understood wearing a player's jersey. When I was in school, the only other person that wore your jersey was your girl, and it better be serious. 

 

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Funny, I went to the Dodger opening day game last Friday.  I put on my WS Champs tee, and was ready to go, when my wife pointed out a massive pink bleach stain on it.  Fuck.  My son goes "Dad, want to wear my Justin Turner jersey?"  I thought, sure why not.  I put it on, looked in the mirror, and immediately thought, "I'm not a jersey guy."  Found my Vin Scully shirt and I was on my way.

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 4:56 PM, Lobo said:

"I'm a seventh generation Texan" guy.  

Never have so many "men" been so proud of something that had absolutely zero to do with.  

I've lived here 25 years, and I'll never understand why it's a big deal to y'all to have been born where your mother's vagina was located.

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I agree. I was born in Florida but moved to TX when I was less than 2 and was raised there my whole life. Just because you were born in Texas doesnt make you more Texan than I am....

Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:59 PM, WillUSAF said:

I agree. I was born in Florida but moved to TX when I was less than 2 and was raised there my whole life. Just because you were born in Texas doesnt make you more Texan than I am....

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Reminds me of a buddy who had one of these on the rear bumper of his Ford Courier:

EGBS22-1.jpg

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:59 PM, WillUSAF said:

I agree. I was born in Florida but moved to TX when I was less than 2 and was raised there my whole life. Just because you were born in Texas doesnt make you more Texan than I am....

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I was born in California, and several generations back on my mom's side (pops is from Minnesota dontcha know).  I most certainly am superior to all the mofo transplants here.

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 2:15 PM, closetohumping said:

It's often the same guy, but I've always been annoyed by certain types of people (usually guys):

 

1. Ford vs Chevy guy - I mean really, is there that big of a difference?  yet, some of these guys are religious about picking a brand and then denigrating the other into  Bolivia. 

2. Indie music snob guy - 199_ SXSW. "What's this band called again?  Modest Mouse? They're pretty cool." IMSG "yea, heard them in Raleigh back in 91.......before they sold out"

3. Loud gym guy - Never knew maxing out at 200 could cause a grown man to squeal like a 12 year old girl at a Nickelback concert.  Yeah we get it, you're ripped.

4. Naked dude at gym guy - usually an old.  Usually insists on blowdrying his sack on the bench.....less than a foot away from me.

5.Look at that touch guy - this guy was very prevalent in the Major/Chris Simms days.  Every time Major lofted a pass, someone sitting next to me has to say "look at that touch....."

6. Get in the hole guy -  You're not helping it get in the hole though I'm sure Vijay Singh appreciates it.

7. Likes to fight guy - also turns into "hold me back" guy when the other guy does actually want to fight.  If that doesn't work, he becomes "I'm from insert tough blue collar city, you don't want none of this guy. "

8. Chevy vs Ford guy - see point 1.

 

 

 

Am I the only one annoyed by these guys?  Maybe I'm a bit too thin skinned.  Any other annoying "guys?"

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#4 is preventable.  

I'll replace it with this one: "I'm gonna impress the boss with my questions in the meeting" guy.

Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 7:17 PM, slorch said:

#4 is preventable.  

I'll replace it with this one: "I'm gonna impress the boss with my questions in the meeting" guy.

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On #4, naked guy, only bothers me if there are like thirty open lockers and he grabs the one right next to me. 

On the "I'm gonna impress the boss at a meeting guy," he's got a twin brother called, "I'm not gonna shut the fuck up and let this meeting end" guy. 

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Posted

"I'm gonna detail to your every shot I took on all 18 holes at Pebble Beach" guy.  Your ridiculous dude.  Do I get a caddy fee for listening to your loop?  If not then beat it.

Also, "loud talking cell phone" guy.  I had this numbnuts behind me at the Bozeman airport just yesterday.  He was incredibly loud and wanted all to hear his jillion dollor bidness deal going down and all that he knew about the naming of the new CEO at Spacely Sprockets and how he is a punk-ass know nuthin' from way back when and how he was personally tutored  in the fine points of international business acumen by Mr. Loud his own self.   I gave him the "I'm gonna stuff that cell phone up your pussy" look several times but he was just too into himself to realize what a cocksucker he is.  I, along with everyone else within 20 yards, moved on to another place to sit while waiting to board.  I really wanted to ask him why he was in commercial with the rest of us chumps instead of private.

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 4:03 PM, 52-80 said:
unsolicited-but-very-specific travel advice guy
 
"me and the family are going to maui next week"
"oh? go to the black tiki seafood hut, its after the 4th green house when you take a left at the post office, ask for the sous chef charles to prepare a pineapple snapper, then go hang-gliding with his cousin dave from the pahoehoe outfitters center.  its the best"
 
uh oh thanks

Only topped by
‘ “I need dinner recs in your city”
“go to a b or c, they’re great and fit your needs, stay away from xyz it’s meh overhype place”
....”we ended up going to xyz, it wasn’t very good” ‘
Guy
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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 8:03 PM, bluto said:


Only topped by
‘ “I need dinner recs in your city”
“go to a b or c, they’re great and fit your needs, stay away from xyz it’s meh overhype place”
....”we ended up going to xyz, it wasn’t very good” ‘
Guy

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Oh, hi, honey.  Glad you didn't listen. 

 

Again.

 

 

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 7:10 PM, Sbbruin said:

I was born in California, and several generations back on my mom's side (pops is from Minnesota dontcha know).  I most certainly am superior to all the mofo transplants here.

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We will grant you that - so long as you stay there.

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:21 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

You can always change in a stall or behind the shower curtain if it bothers you. We all knew that guy when we were high school freshmen.

Blow drying balls is awesome and prevents swamp crotch. You’re supposed to be naked in the locker room. Naked old dudes in gym locker rooms are the ultimate in DGAF, and that makes them rad as hell. They are also making sure their balls are in good shape for some lady attention. 

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  On 4/13/2021 at 6:47 PM, General Specific said:

I’ll add I work eleventy bill hours a week guy. No matter how dedicated you are, he’s three fiddy % more dedicated!

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This guy is usually "what they didn't promote me after all I've done guy.

  On 4/13/2021 at 7:10 PM, Sbbruin said:

I was born in California, and several generations back on my mom's side (pops is from Minnesota dontcha know).  I most certainly am superior to all the mofo transplants here.

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Nope. I'm a transplant

  On 4/13/2021 at 7:17 PM, slorch said:

#4 is preventable.  

I'll replace it with this one: "I'm gonna impress the boss with my questions in the meeting" guy.

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Preventable how?  Not going to the gym?

  On 4/13/2021 at 7:41 PM, Richard Kimball said:

  "I'm gonna impress the boss at a meeting guy," he's got a twin brother called, "I'm not gonna shut the fuck up and let this meeting end" guy. 

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Demon spawn of Captain obvious.  We want to make this as relevant, targeted, authentic, intrinsic, timely, succinct as possible for the customer.

Posted (edited)

Unless old dude has a handheld hair drier, you chose the fucking locker by the drier on the wall.

Edited by slorch
Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:59 PM, WillUSAF said:

I agree. I was born in Florida but moved to TX when I was less than 2 and was raised there my whole life. Just because you were born in Texas doesnt make you more Texan than I am....

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I reckon I’m as American as anyone from Tennessee. 

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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 7:17 PM, slorch said:

#4 is preventable.  

I'll replace it with this one: "I'm gonna impress the boss with my questions in the meeting" guy.

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Dude.  The "I like the sound of my own voice and so must everyone else" guy.  Makes me ragey.

Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 10:34 PM, shakahorn said:
The "I'm gonna root against the team everyone else is cheering for even though I don't have a dog in this fight guy."
Holy shit. I know this guy and he makes me rage. He will actually tell you he hates the teams that are popular locally. Cowboys? Nope. Rangers? Nope (doesn't like the astros either because in texas). In TXK the razorbacks are popular and he hate them too (fine with that for other reasons)

All also add the "best current team fan". We all know a few. BIG Tampa Bay fan all the sudden or BIG lsu fan last year but hasn't said shit for a while. Or a friend who grew up in Texas with Texas ties, never ventured out of the state much less Boston, and rocks patriots gear.
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Posted (edited)
  On 4/14/2021 at 12:10 AM, B00M said:

Overly enthusiastic guy is so Texan he hasn't driven Texas roads in 15 years

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your right...i have been stationed and have lived overseas for the past 17 years

Edited by WillUSAF
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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 7:10 PM, Sbbruin said:

I was born in California, and several generations back on my mom's side (pops is from Minnesota dontcha know).  I most certainly am superior to all the mofo transplants here.

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I'm 4th generation and agree completely.

Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 2:15 PM, closetohumping said:

It's often the same guy, but I've always been annoyed by certain types of people (usually guys):

 

1. Ford vs Chevy guy - I mean really, is there that big of a difference?  yet, some of these guys are religious about picking a brand and then denigrating the other into  Bolivia. 

2. Indie music snob guy - 199_ SXSW. "What's this band called again?  Modest Mouse? They're pretty cool." IMSG "yea, heard them in Raleigh back in 91.......before they sold out"

3. Loud gym guy - Never knew maxing out at 200 could cause a grown man to squeal like a 12 year old girl at a Nickelback concert.  Yeah we get it, you're ripped.

4. Naked dude at gym guy - usually an old.  Usually insists on blowdrying his sack on the bench.....less than a foot away from me.

5.Look at that touch guy - this guy was very prevalent in the Major/Chris Simms days.  Every time Major lofted a pass, someone sitting next to me has to say "look at that touch....."

6. Get in the hole guy -  You're not helping it get in the hole though I'm sure Vijay Singh appreciates it.

7. Likes to fight guy - also turns into "hold me back" guy when the other guy does actually want to fight.  If that doesn't work, he becomes "I'm from insert tough blue collar city, you don't want none of this guy. "

8. Chevy vs Ford guy - see point 1.

 

 

 

Am I the only one annoyed by these guys?  Maybe I'm a bit too thin skinned.  Any other annoying "guys?"

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Rack him

 

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Posted

Overly serious sports guy who gets worked up over first quarter possessions vs a double directional September non conference team like it’s 4th quarter 05 rose bowl.

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Posted

 

Has the sandbagger been mentioned? Any group activity that it mildly athletic, pick up ball game, whatever, before it the activity even starts-- "Ohh, I'm not feeling it today, you guys are going to kick my ass, my ______ is sore so I'm going to have to take it easy, blah blah blah blah".

 

 

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Posted
  On 4/14/2021 at 3:43 AM, High Plains Drifter said:

 

Has the sandbagger been mentioned? Any group activity that it mildly athletic, pick up ball game, whatever, before it the activity even starts-- "Ohh, I'm not feeling it today, you guys are going to kick my ass, my ______ is sore so I'm going to have to take it easy, blah blah blah blah".

 

 

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I routinely play basketball with a guy that gets “injured” multiple times each game with theatrics that will rival any foreign soccer player. He hobbles around for a minute or two and then drives the lane with some crazy moves. One day he will get hurt but no one will pay attention because of his antics. He is a good player but the act gets old.

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Posted (edited)

Devil's Advocate Guy. It's almost always just a reason to dominate a conversation. It's particularly bad on cloak room topics. Usually starts with "well I agree, but have you considered [insert complete disagreement], ending with "not that I believe that, but it's it possible?

Contrarian Guy. Closely related and sometimes overlaps with Devil's Advocate Guy. Always has to take a strained argument and words it in ways that make him feel like the smartest guy in the room, when everyone else is smart enough to see through the sad ego trip, wasting air just to feel important. 

Overly Negative Sports Fan Guy. Maybe its worse in the OSU fanbase because we've brushed against some big time success and never quite gotten over the hump. My friend is a prime example. The second we are down a touchdown, or in basketball this year especially when we gave up or blew some big leads, its always a group message "Well time to mow the lawn. Fire Gundy" or "What a fucking joke, turning this off. We better not extend Boynton." Most of the time, we come back and make it close, or we win the game. I'm guilty of it from time to time, but not to the extent of those who have this reaction every time we are down.

Edited by 'stache
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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 4:56 PM, Lobo said:
"I'm a seventh generation Texan" guy.  
Never have so many "men" been so proud of something that had absolutely zero to do with.  
I've lived here 25 years, and I'll never understand why it's a big deal to y'all to have been born where your mother's vagina was located.

Because you're not a Texan Peggy Hill.
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Posted
  On 4/13/2021 at 6:43 PM, General Specific said:

You can always change in a stall or behind the shower curtain if it bothers you. We all knew that guy when we were high school freshmen.
Blow drying balls is awesome and prevents swamp crotch. You’re supposed to be naked in the locker room. Naked old dudes in gym locker rooms are the ultimate in DGAF, and that makes them rad as hell. They are also making sure their balls are in good shape for some lady attention. 

^This^

After playing a round of golf, and hoisting a few with the guys at the bar. It’s off to the shower to clean up. Gota be clean to play those last three holes, aka South Austin’s mom!

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you savage animals need your own cage next to the pond so you can stand naked ass to ass while you blow dry your old balls

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Posted (edited)

40+ year old sneaker guy.

"Those neon green, yellow and aqua high tops look great on you.  Can't believe they only made a hundred."

Reaction Eye Roll GIF by Rodney Dangerfield

Backpack blue tooth speaker guy

car nyc GIF by The Detour

Edited by ChickenSandwich
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Posted (edited)

The guy who never joined the military because he would have punched his Drill Instructor in the face.

Sometimes, but not always, is also the guy who thinks because he ate an MRE in a  blind and waits for a deer to come to the feeder and he pops it with a scoped .30-06; that he's militia-ready and scary to 'civilians.'

Yeah, you scary... but not in the way that you think.

 

Edited by slorch
Posted
  On 4/14/2021 at 10:12 PM, slorch said:

The guy who never joined the military because he would have punched his Drill Instructor in the face.

Sometimes, but not always, is also the guy who thinks because he ate an MRE in a  blind and waits for a deer to come to the feeder and he pops it with a scoped .30-06; that he's militia-ready and scary to 'civilians.'

Yeah, you scary... but not in the way that you think.

 

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It's funny you mentioned that, guy who "roughs" it in the woods and could totally make in the military is still well abound in Texas these days.  But I never hear "I wouldn't take no shit off a Gunny" guy anymore these days.  That guy just disappeared from the face of the earth as far as I can tell.  And he was everywhere 20 years ago.  Weird, good observation.  My dad encountered that guy all the time and my dad was as anti-authoritarian as they got in the Navy.  

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