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Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 4:09 AM, JackBurton said:

Clearly my man wants to visit the famed Colonial Williamsburg and doesn't have a good reason to be in the area other than to check out William & Mary. While the campus may lack social events, attractive women, and a functioning football program, it makes up for that by having a virtual cornucopia of old white men in period-appropriate garb. Every 18 y/o's college dream. 

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am-corps-600x429.jpg

 

Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 1:23 PM, closetojumping said:

And apparently the fact that she directed Promising Young Woman while still being *married* to Jason Sudeikis. 

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I’m not going to be too embarrassed that I didn’t realize they weren’t married. But getting the director of a movie wrong while spending 20 minutes expounding on its failures...

Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 12:33 PM, closetojumping said:

 

 

Holy shit. This series of posts brings up the bodies on the OL coaching side of things, and they are fucking ripe. UT has basically been cursed on this front for the vast majority of my life and most of all of those on this board. 

Clovis Hale (RIP) - generally incompetent

Tim Nunez - probably the worst of all of them. He didn’t recruit, he couldn’t evaluate, and he had no idea what he was doing with his unit. Mack Brown actually did end up firing this guy when he got tired of defending him. 

Mac McWhorter - the architect of the greatest phantom OL in history (2009), this motherfucker took sloth to an art form. His recruiting technique of evaluating no one and signing only players in the Austin MSA west of I-35 completed the Nunez-led villainous strategy of largely destroying our offensive line unit for the better part of 2 decades. Probably the low point in UT OL history was watching Nebraska’s Suh clown the entire OL and Chris Hall specifically into a national CFB meme that December. McWhorter coupled that lowlight with a recruiting mirror of that move by offering a guy in wheelchair and ignoring multiple state of Texas OL candidates that signed with Baylor, OU and elsewhere, eventually playing in the NFL.

Joe Wickline - finally a proven OL coach who would turn things around! LOL. I don’t know what in the fuck happened here except overwhelmed and stupid were trademarks of the Chucklefuck Era, so let’s just assume this guy lathered himself up in both traits, combo’d those problems with a penchant for being a piece of shit to his unit and an angry recruiter who identified with basically no one but JP Urquidez’s father and we wound up with a further descent into OL unit ineptitude. 

Derek Warehime - a meatheaded clown with the only justification for getting hired was that he was bros with meatheaded Fuckface, his only positive contribution to the UT program is the aforementioned hogger grumpy that he dropped in Walker Little’s mother’s private washroom. They live down the street from me in Bellaire and they’ve attempted everything from a thorough repaint to a black mold-like drywall teardown and rebuild, to no avail. 

Herb Hand - a frequent object of disdain from the recruiting board, for good reason, his OL unit actually improved in year 1 versus the greasefire that Warehime had reduced the unit to in a single year. A brief, small blip of faint hope preceding a continued trajectory into the inexplicable abyss of prolonged but consistent failure of a single unit for many years via many coaches. 

The dude with Mackovic was good and Stacy Searels gets a pass. How the 2004-2005 units overcame the yoke of ineptitude can only be explained by the nasty disposition of the Studdard/Blalock/Sendlein led unit itself. 

Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck them. Kyle Flood better have a great fucking strategy and even better black magic to break this fucking curse, obviously cast on our program by the ghost of Antwan Kirk Hughes. 

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You forgot one

SterlinGilbertMattMattoxCharlieStrong_Ja

 

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Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 12:33 PM, closetojumping said:

Derek Warehime - a meatheaded clown with the only justification for getting hired was that he was bros with meatheaded Fuckface, his only positive contribution to the UT program is the aforementioned hogger grumpy that he dropped in Walker Little’s mother’s private washroom. They live down the street from me in Bellaire and they’ve attempted everything from a thorough repaint to a black mold-like drywall teardown and rebuild, to no avail. 

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Ok, your rep emojis have all been hook ems and hearts, but I’m giving you a 😂 for this gem, well done!

Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 3:17 PM, futureman said:

his OL produced a 2,000 yard rusher.

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Searels and Mattox are the only two guys with a pulse to hit that room in the last 25 years, and they have 3 seasons between them. At this rate Kyle Flood may get a statue if he stays for more than his initial contract. 

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Posted

Citizen's HUDL highlights are pretty ridiculous. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I love this one at the 42 second mark when he goes to put out  a stiffarm and it's like the defender is held off by an invisible death ray. Citizen's stiffarm is apparently so strong that just being in its invisible cone causes defenders to bounce off:

https://www.hudl.com/video/3/10907138/5fd8290a96760c0b6c3d5d3a

 

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Posted

My middle school band director was named Mr. Glasscock. He was one brave son of a bitch to decide to teach a room full of 70 middle pre-teens

Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 3:55 PM, Hornius Emeritus said:

Citizen's HUDL highlights are pretty ridiculous. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I love this one at the 42 second mark when he goes to put out  a stiffarm and it's like the defender is held off by an invisible death ray. Citizen's stiffarm is apparently so strong that just being in its invisible cone causes defenders to bounce off:

https://www.hudl.com/video/3/10907138/5fd8290a96760c0b6c3d5d3a

 

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Lol #30 wanted no part of that tackle. Good job, good effort, guy.

Posted (edited)
  On 3/9/2021 at 4:26 PM, satyanash said:

E.J. in shambles

 

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he clearly hated it so much but was unable to find another job doing literally anything else until now?

he has a point...but fuck that guy

Edited by NoName
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Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 3:57 PM, Texas Flood said:

You mean Booksmart

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I don’t know what Booksmart is, but I know that Olivia Wilde didn’t direct Promising Young Woman, irrespective of SydneyCarton’s and the rest of the foursome’s protestations otherwise. I also know she never married the SNL dude, but none of this has anything to do with Kelvin Banks, I guess.

Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 1:18 PM, LarTXHorn said:
Actually had this conversation with a friend this weekend regarding last names. There was a dude playing college basketball with the last name of Cockburn. I thought that someone in that family has to be brave enough to legally change that last name, family history/pride be damned. You've got to give the kids a chance to grow up without the constant mockery. NBA player Rudy Gay was mentioned (nttawwt) as was our assistant Glascock. Do it for the kids
I believe in the old world where it originated..it's pronounced more like "Coburn". Thats what I'd change it to if it were me..
Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 4:19 PM, gurt said:

My middle school band director was named Mr. Glasscock. He was one brave son of a bitch to decide to teach a room full of 70 middle pre-teens

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hah my middle school band director was Mr. Dick. 

Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 4:42 PM, closetojumping said:

I don’t know what Booksmart is, but I know that Olivia Wilde didn’t direct Promising Young Woman, irrespective of SydneyCarton’s and the rest of the foursome’s protestations otherwise. I also know she never married the SNL dude, but none of this has anything to do with Kelvin Banks, I guess.

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unless she marries him that is

Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 4:42 PM, closetojumping said:

I don’t know what Booksmart is, but I know that Olivia Wilde didn’t direct Promising Young Woman, irrespective of SydneyCarton’s and the rest of the foursome’s protestations otherwise. I also know she never married the SNL dude, but none of this has anything to do with Kelvin Banks, I guess.

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Eat a bag of dicks, you purposefully conflating bastard. I've never even seen Promising Young Woman. Man-hating snooze fests must be your fetish. 

I do admit to the ignorance on the marriage front, however. 

Posted (edited)
  On 3/9/2021 at 4:42 PM, closetojumping said:

I don’t know what Booksmart is

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Main character is Jonah Hill’s younger sister, she also starred in Lady Bird. No, not the LBJ documentary. 
 

  Quote

I know that Olivia Wilde didn’t direct Promising Young Woman

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Emerald Fennel. Quite the talent, but she’s on the all-name team.

 

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I also know she never married the SNL dude

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Nobody in Hollywood actually makes it official, I guess it fast-tracks the inevitable divorce. 

Edited by Sgt. Slaughter
Posted

IT on Cole Hutson

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Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 5:31 PM, Machinator said:

Hutson will be at the Under Armour camp in Arlington on Sunday.

 

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Nice. Should be a good chance to get to see how he moves. 

  On 3/9/2021 at 2:50 PM, Dr. Teeth said:

I appreciate that Drayton never stops comparing every single RB he offers to Elliot.

It's like Bobby Kennedy and Reggie Williams with better results.

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I’m not sure Surly can really talk considering we compare every RB who can run a sub-5 40 to Jamaal Charles. 

Posted

When I was a child our preachers name was Richard White. Richard preferred to go by Dick, so the phone book listing was White, Dick. Always made my pre-teen self chuckle when I perused the phone book.

Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 5:47 PM, EE2B said:

When I was a child our preachers name was Richard White. Richard preferred to go by Dick, so the phone book listing was White, Dick. Always made my pre-teen self chuckle when I perused the phone book.

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Man, that sounds like a fun as hell, balls to the wall childhood right there.

EE2B Mom: "Sweetheart, what did you do today?" 

EE2B: "Oh, I watched Pat Robertson for a while on the 700 Club. After that I read the phone book. The usual."

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Posted

 

Mike Roach:  Texas one of the schools standing out for 2022 DE Omari Abor

 

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Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 6:10 PM, Getafix said:

 

Mike Roach:  Texas one of the schools standing out for 2022 DE Omari Abor

 

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I really want to believe, but just seems like we have 0% chance with this one.

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Posted
  On 3/9/2021 at 3:55 PM, Hornius Emeritus said:

Citizen's HUDL highlights are pretty ridiculous. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I love this one at the 42 second mark when he goes to put out  a stiffarm and it's like the defender is held off by an invisible death ray. Citizen's stiffarm is apparently so strong that just being in its invisible cone causes defenders to bounce off:

https://www.hudl.com/video/3/10907138/5fd8290a96760c0b6c3d5d3a

 

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love his highlight film. a lot of rb highlights is the rb running through gaping holes. when i see those i think, line did a great job blocking.

citizen's is him running through traffic, making cuts, and fighting through tackles. 

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