Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting

[Red Five 40455]

16 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Per Burton, this is our new director of on-campus recruiting: https://vucommodores.com/staff/taylor-searels/

Bobby Brown will be the assistant director of player personnel.

His name is Bobby Brown and he looks like Chris Traeger? This will be fun.

[Burt Macklin 18966]

36 minutes ago, victory88 said:

If sark and this team win 9-10 games next year, it’s going to change the recruiting landscape.  It’s nice to see a staff of actual ducking recruiters.  Most of these kids had completely written Texas off.  I’m actually quite surprised to see us be a big player for Banks, Anderson, Dewberry, Stewart, Thompson.  Add that to the OOS players that want to play in his offense, it’s going to be fun.

I feel like an aggy saying this but the best thing to happen to this program in the last few years is Sark putting on a coaching clinic on Ryan Day in the national championship game.  All these other bitch ass programs want to keep Texas down because he fucking cherry pick the players in state when we win.  I feel optimistic that Sark is going to be the guy. 
 

 

Winning 9 games and likely finishing 3rd in the Big 12 wouldn't change much of anything for us.  We'd probably need to win 10 and the conference to really boost the outlook from where it is right now.

[Dbeasy 14791]

14 minutes ago, Hank Scorpio said:

I hear she got the job after defeating the pole assassin in a dance off. 

I hope you don’t mind but I’ve gone ahead and scheduled your sensitivity training with HR for next week. 

[Viper 11956]

9 minutes ago, dilloncp98 said:

Taylor is the daughter of former Texas OL coach Stacy Searels. She went to HS in Austin

Stacy, Taylor, don't tell me, his son's name is Ashley? 

[UncleSonny 6473]

1 minute ago, Texas Wahoo said:

This guy really gets around...

 

 

What the hell, how many jobs is he going to take this offseason? Also, Saban stacks that building with former NFL/P5 head coaches from coordinators down to analysts, but he's feels the need to hire fucking Valai as a position coach?

[Dr. Teeth 5767]

If Saban makes Valai look like a good coach, he needs to win a Nobel prize.

[Dijon Robinson 1511]

1 minute ago, UncleSonny said:

What the hell, how many jobs is he going to take this offseason? Also, Saban stacks that building with former NFL/P5 head coaches from coordinators down to analysts, but he's feels the need to hire fucking Valai as a position coach?

Saban has no "in" wrt recruiting the state of Texas after losing Banks and Scott. This is almost certainly a move to build that back up again.

[UncleSonny 6473]

4 minutes ago, Dijon Robinson said:

Saban has no "in" wrt recruiting the state of Texas after losing Banks and Scott. This is almost certainly a move to build that back up again.

Yeah I get that, just seems like when they are hiring they are more commonly shooting the moon. Jay is a pretty good recruiter with above average TX contacts and a somewhere between unproven and shitty as a db coach.

When he got the Houston job the consensus seemed to be that was a pretty logical fit all around. If he's hired at Bama a month later that just seems weird. 

[Michael Knight 12725]

4 hours ago, Machinator said:

 

Confirmed scumbag

[NoName 16241]

[Hiphopopotamos 20850]

29 minutes ago, UncleSonny said:

Yeah I get that, just seems like when they are hiring they are more commonly shooting the moon. Jay is a pretty good recruiter with above average TX contacts and a somewhere between unproven and shitty as a db coach.

When he got the Houston job the consensus seemed to be that was a pretty logical fit all around. If he's hired at Bama a month later that just seems weird. 

Nick Saban coaches DB's at Alabama.  Learning under Saban as DB coach at Alabama for a few years is the best career move Valai could make.

[Michael Knight 12725]

43 minutes ago, UncleSonny said:

What the hell, how many jobs is he going to take this offseason? Also, Saban stacks that building with former NFL/P5 head coaches from coordinators down to analysts, but he's feels the need to hire fucking Valai as a position coach?

Every coaching hire Saban makes seems like a WTF but then it almost always works out. Remember laughing about Joey Freshwater and hell we laughed at Sark both times

[GRHorn 105]

6 hours ago, SydneyCarton said:

Trust me, it’s just one personality and it’s fucking terrible. 

Are you saying that if he dies in unusual circumstances and they decide to film a Dateline on his case, you will NOT say that he lit up a room when he walked in?

[Bill Lumbergh 7168]

Or laughing and pointing at Ketchum that one time he ate a salad. 

[RGBIII 22763]

TFB

Can’t say what it is but sounds like there is a really good chance you all could be receiving some excellent news this weekend.

This is not in reference to the Trevell Johnson news. This is a separate piece of good news likely headed your way.

If anything changes, I’ll let you know. Stay tuned.

[texifornia 56032]

Just now, RGBIII said:

TFB

Can’t say what it is but sounds like there is a really good chance you all could be receiving some excellent news this weekend.

This is not in reference to the Trevell Johnson news. This is a separate piece of good news likely headed your way.

If anything changes, I’ll let you know. Stay tuned.

It's gonna be St. Maalintine's Day?

[Red Five 40455]

Happy Maliikentines day? 

Not the same. 

[GRHorn 105]

1 hour ago, Hank Scorpio said:

I hear she got the job after defeating the pole assassin in a dance off. 

You say that as someone who hasn’t see PoleAssassin’s Instagram story. She’s a gotdamn gymnast. 

[MoJames 8236]

5 hours ago, FloridaHorn said:

not only is it possible, it is FABULOUS!!

Canadians do it as well.

[SydneyCarton 47488]

1 minute ago, texifornia said:

It's gonna be St. Maalintine's Day?

This.

1 minute ago, Red Five said:

Happy Maliikentines day? 

Not the same. 

Not this.

Is this where Satya shows up in 3 pages and says "What about Maaaliktines day?"

[TexasRenegade 2391]

The St Malantines massacre

[BurntOrange&White 38890]

1 hour ago, Machinator said:

Per Burton, this is our new director of on-campus recruiting: https://vucommodores.com/staff/taylor-searels/

Bobby Brown will be the assistant director of player personnel.

wood.

[TexasRenegade 2391]

Yeah she's more like a 6....ya'll have to remember there are women walking around Austin that look like the female version of Ketch.....

[Michael Knight 12725]

1 minute ago, TexasRenegade said:

Yeah she's more like a 6....ya'll have to remember there are women walking around Austin that look like the female version of Ketch.....

Maybe we can have a thot discussion

[Red Five 40455]

5 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

wood.

Well that's your prerogative I guess. 

[BurntOrange&White 38890]

3 minutes ago, Red Five said:

Well that's your prerogative I guess. 

[Barbacoa 1934]

9 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

[BurntOrangeBlooded15 1564]

26 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

TFB

Can’t say what it is but sounds like there is a really good chance you all could be receiving some excellent news this weekend.

This is not in reference to the Trevell Johnson news. This is a separate piece of good news likely headed your way.

If anything changes, I’ll let you know. Stay tuned.

A weekend of Maalik, Coleman and Johnson.  

 

[Funk Doctor Spock 11709]

22 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

I'd smash, too, 

[Hornlover 8824]

39 minutes ago, RGBIII said:

TFB

Can’t say what it is but sounds like there is a really good chance you all could be receiving some excellent news this weekend.

This is not in reference to the Trevell Johnson news. This is a separate piece of good news likely headed your way.

If anything changes, I’ll let you know. Stay tuned.

This is the way to do a $9.95 headline.

[Okcool 782]

11 minutes ago, BurntOrangeBlooded15 said:

A weekend of Maalik, Coleman and Johnson.  

 

can I haz Anderson too plez??

[Bevo 13440]

24 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Why not? If given the choice between arguing with you bozos or having sex, it seems like an easy choice.

[Doc Reeves 6434]

2 hours ago, RGBIII said:

She’s an Austin 2.5 but a Colombus 8

She looks like a chick who has a ton of hot slutty friends

[someguy 1468]

2 hours ago, texifornia said:

Just a bit of a change in vibe from BC (I know she's just on-campus).

she's more like the new Jordyn Fields than BC.

[runthebone 7894]

I'm sure she's a lovely person, but the fact her dad is an OL coach makes me think she will end up weighing 280.

[closetojumping 62010]

2 hours ago, victory88 said:

If sark and this team win 9-10 games next year, it’s going to change the recruiting landscape.  It’s nice to see a staff of actual ducking recruiters.  Most of these kids had completely written Texas off.  I’m actually quite surprised to see us be a big player for Banks, Anderson, Dewberry, Stewart, Thompson.  Add that to the OOS players that want to play in his offense, it’s going to be fun.

I feel like an aggy saying this but the best thing to happen to this program in the last few years is Sark putting on a coaching clinic on Ryan Day in the national championship game.  All these other bitch ass programs want to keep Texas down because he fucking cherry pick the players in state when we win.  I feel optimistic that Sark is going to be the guy. 
 

 

Listen, man, these guys aren't ducking anything as recruiters... I'll be here all week.

I've got no info on this, but after following all of this shit religiously since I was a little kid, Dewberry's recruitment has the early feel of one that we're not really going to win in the end. I guess I could be wrong in two directions - 1) just a misread of the vibe around him and what the $9.95ers are saying/not saying or 2) both tops and bags be droppin' in H-town from the UT end for the first time ever. I'm happy to be wrong either way. 

2 hours ago, Dijon Robinson said:

So Burton is saying this guy is set to be the assistant director of player personnel...we're really hiring the assistant director before the director himself

Did you really believe this when you wrote it?

2 hours ago, Machinator said:

Per Burton, this is our new director of on-campus recruiting: https://vucommodores.com/staff/taylor-searels/

Bobby Brown will be the assistant director of player personnel.

I'm interested in seeing how this one works out. Apparently she's an ambitious asskicker. 

[closetojumping 62010]

1 hour ago, GRHorn said:

Are you saying that if he dies in unusual circumstances and they decide to film a Dateline on his case, you will NOT say that he lit up a room when he walked in?

Better men than @SydneyCarton have been trying to take me down for years. He's more likely to hurt himself from a cutting accident or falling off of his ladder replacing a light bulb than he is to harm anyone else. 

1 hour ago, RGBIII said:

TFB

Can’t say what it is but sounds like there is a really good chance you all could be receiving some excellent news this weekend.

This is not in reference to the Trevell Johnson news. This is a separate piece of good news likely headed your way.

If anything changes, I’ll let you know. Stay tuned.

I'm going with Banks.

1 hour ago, Michael Knight said:

Maybe we can have a thot discussion

I'm guessing @ChonkySalmon666 is going to have something very important to say about this.

[UDontKnow 10439]

12 minutes ago, runthebone said:

I'm sure she's a lovely person, but the fact her dad is an OL coach makes me think she will end up weighing 280.

So make hay while the sun shines. Duh.

[closetojumping 62010]

Also, all of you rubes feigning a lack of interest in the new recruiting coordinator are fooling no one. She's attractive and in a position of authority. You'd have no problems jumping all over that, if for nothing else than bragging rights to the rest of us on this board and your other offline buddies. "I'm in pretty pretttaaaayyyy deep inside the UT recruiting machine, fellas."

[HenryJames 65572]

Just now, closetojumping said:

"I'm in pretty pretttaaaayyyy deep inside the UT recruiting machine, fellas."

About 4" deep.

[UDontKnow 10439]

6 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Also, all of you rubes feigning a lack of interest in the new recruiting coordinator are fooling no one. She's attractive and in a position of authority. You'd have no problems jumping all over that, if for nothing else than bragging rights to the rest of us on this board and your other offline buddies. "I'm in pretty pretttaaaayyyy deep inside the UT recruiting machine, fellas."

I would hit it and then run like @closetojumping

Edited February 12, 2021 by UDontKnow

[TotallyLegit 3050]

15 minutes ago, runthebone said:

I'm sure she's a lovely person, but the fact her dad is an OL coach makes me think she will end up weighing 280.

Yeah, but you know she'll carry it well.

[Booper 415]

2 hours ago, Texas Wahoo said:

This guy really gets around...

 

 

Saban's answer to losing Banks. 

Edited February 12, 2021 by Booper

[UncleSonny 6473]

15 minutes ago, runthebone said:

I'm sure she's a lovely person, but the fact her dad is an OL coach makes me think she will end up weighing 280.

This reminded me how weird it is that Wade Phillips managed to produce a very attractive daughter. 

 

[closetojumping 62010]

15 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

 

I'm going with Banks.

 

Yep, I'm going with "All Gas, No Brakes, But Several Banks" for this weekend. Not saying there won't be others like TJ, of course. 

[RGBIII 22763]

1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

Yep, I'm going with "All Gas, No Brakes, But Several Banks" for this weekend. Not saying there won't be others like TJ, of course. 

[Hiphopopotamos 20850]

Get a load of these unoriginal fucking idiots:

 

[SydneyCarton 47488]

21 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Better men than @SydneyCarton have been trying to take me down for years. He's more likely to hurt himself from a cutting accident or falling off of his ladder replacing a light bulb than he is to harm anyone else. 

 

While I’m not the most coordinated soul alive, myself and a thousand other people saw you taken out comically by a knee high chain strung across two poles. Bold words.  
 

then again several of us pulled muscles laughing at you so I guess you gave some in return too, and for a split second you flew like Superman. 

[UncleBuck 6443]

2 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Get a load of these unoriginal fucking idiots:

 

I'd have at least gone with Maalik's Navidad

Edited February 12, 2021 by UncleBuck

[closetohumping 17302]

25 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Also, all of you rubes feigning a lack of interest in the new recruiting coordinator are fooling no one. She's attractive and in a position of authority. You'd have no problems jumping all over that, if for nothing else than bragging rights to the rest of us on this board and your other offline buddies. "I'm in pretty pretttaaaayyyy deep inside the UT recruiting machine, fellas."

She wouldn’t give 80% of guys on this board the time of day and would call the cops on half of them