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Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting

closetojumping

By closetojumping
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closetojumping
closetojumping

Thanks. I have been on the boards since 1997 when I was a student at Texas. We've spent decades as fans and board patrons feeling powerless to create any real change. The Internet, social media,

Mikey4
Mikey4
ChonkySalmon666
ChonkySalmon666

I work closely with a certain previously committed 5 star QB's father (hint: its Quinn Ewers, for those who haven't been following recruiting closely like I have) and chatted with him a bit this after

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closetojumping

closetojumping 65449

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6 minutes ago, Hiphopopotamos said:

Get a load of these unoriginal fucking idiots:

 

I keep saying this, but we've got to put some work in taking those frauds down a notch or two. They do far more harm than good. 

5 minutes ago, SydneyCarton said:

While I’m not the most coordinated soul alive, myself and a thousand other people saw you taken out comically by a knee high chain strung across two poles. Bold words.  
 

then again several of us pulled muscles laughing at you so I guess you gave some in return too, and for a split second you flew like Superman. 

I didn't even spill my drink. It was its own form of graceful. 

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SydneyCarton

SydneyCarton 49510

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1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

I keep saying this, but we've got to put some work in taking those frauds down a notch or two. They do far more harm than good. 

I didn't even spill my drink. It was its own form of graceful. 

I know it didn’t happen that way, but when I replay it in my head I imagine it like a 30s era Mickey Mouse cartoon where your drink erupts from your cup like a volcano and then magically arcs in total back into the same cup 5 yards later after you face planted. 

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closetojumping

closetojumping 65449

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5 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

She wouldn’t give 80% of guys on this board the time of day and would call the cops on half of them 

This reminds me of the time SLX put out an invite on Hornfans for an impromptu football HH one Sunday afternoon in Houston. I met up with him and we went to The Gingerman. Like 10-12 other sad and addicted bastards showed up and we bullshitted about recruiting for a few hours.

It was all fine, but one poster (whose name I'll leave out here in case he reads the boards still and decides to murder me) showed up and looked like he was a full-blown stereotype of a child molester or serial killer. Terrifying. He introduces himself and says his handle, which none of the rest of us had ever heard of, so I assumed he was mostly a lurker.

I compared notes with SLX as we were leaving and I'm like "did uhhh, anyone give you a bit of a creepy vibe back there?" and he proceeds to explode into laughter and run down his fears about the same dude. I go home and check out the dude's profile on Hornfans, and he has like 8000 posts. I'd never once noticed him, right there in plain sight. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he posts here as "futureman" with that level of volume and banality. Hornfans was like a year old at the time.

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RGBIII

RGBIII 23020

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2 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This reminds me of the time SLX put out an invite on Hornfans for an impromptu football HH one Sunday afternoon in Houston. I met up with him and we went to The Gingerman. Like 10-12 other sad and addicted bastards showed up and we bullshitted about recruiting for a few hours.

It was all fine, but one poster (whose name I'll leave out here in case he reads the boards still and decides to murder me) showed up and looked like he was a full-blown stereotype of a child molester or serial killer. Terrifying. He introduces himself and says his handle, which none of the rest of us had ever heard of, so I assumed he was mostly a lurker.

I compared notes with SLX as we were leaving and I'm like "did uhhh, anyone give you a bit of a creepy vibe back there?" and he proceeds to explode into laughter and run down his fears about the same dude. I go home and check out the dude's profile on Hornfans, and he has like 8000 posts. I'd never once noticed him, right there in plain sight. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he posts here as "futureman" with that level of volume and banality. Hornfans was like a year old at the time.

tim and eric smile GIF

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closetohumping

closetohumping 17818

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3 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

This reminds me of the time SLX put out an invite on Hornfans for an impromptu football HH one Sunday afternoon in Houston. I met up with him and we went to The Gingerman. Like 10-12 other sad and addicted bastards showed up and we bullshitted about recruiting for a few hours.

It was all fine, but one poster (whose name I'll leave out here in case he reads the boards still and decides to murder me) showed up and looked like he was a full-blown stereotype of a child molester or serial killer. Terrifying. He introduces himself and says his handle, which none of the rest of us had ever heard of, so I assumed he was mostly a lurker.

I compared notes with SLX as we were leaving and I'm like "did uhhh, anyone give you a bit of a creepy vibe back there?" and he proceeds to explode into laughter and run down his fears about the same dude. I go home and check out the dude's profile on Hornfans, and he has like 8000 posts. I'd never once noticed him, right there in plain sight. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he posts here as "futureman" with that level of volume and banality. Hornfans was like a year old at the time.

I’d never be an advocate of fat fucks site again but that place was full of off topic laughs.  One girl there wrecked havoc and swindled multiple posters out of money.  One of the world’s greatest cons

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closetojumping

closetojumping 65449

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28 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Yep, I'm going with "All Gas, No Brakes, But Several Banks" for this weekend. Not saying there won't be others like TJ, of course. 

Misread/misunderstood a text. Who the fuck knows. Sounds like it really is Murphy, instead. Banks could happen any time, for whatever that is worth, apparently. My bad, guys. I'm an idiot.

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Laxtonto

Laxtonto 13316

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6 hours ago, closetojumping said:

This reminds me of the time SLX put out an invite on Hornfans for an impromptu football HH one Sunday afternoon in Houston. I met up with him and we went to The Gingerman. Like 10-12 other sad and addicted bastards showed up and we bullshitted about recruiting for a few hours.

It was all fine, but one poster (whose name I'll leave out here in case he reads the boards still and decides to murder me) showed up and looked like he was a full-blown stereotype of a child molester or serial killer. Terrifying. He introduces himself and says his handle, which none of the rest of us had ever heard of, so I assumed he was mostly a lurker.

I compared notes with SLX as we were leaving and I'm like "did uhhh, anyone give you a bit of a creepy vibe back there?" and he proceeds to explode into laughter and run down his fears about the same dude. I go home and check out the dude's profile on Hornfans, and he has like 8000 posts. I'd never once noticed him, right there in plain sight. Anyway, I'm pretty sure he posts here as "futureman" with that level of volume and banality. Hornfans was like a year old at the time.

So what level of creepy are we talking about... blend into normal society creepy or wear your skin as a suit creepy?

200w.webp?cid=ecf05e47vqblt3qnb94uuolvvd

vs

200.webp?cid=ecf05e4796wu98ky6bz4mqq8thc

 

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Im a fuckhead
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Fondren & Main

Fondren & Main 6903

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39 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

She wouldn’t give 80% of guys on this board the time of day and would call the cops on half of them 

Haha @Johnny Chimpo should regale us with his story from the Vickery Park happy hour.  I think that was also the time I met @SydneyCarton.  I didn’t think I could meet someone with a more intense personality than me haha.

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CowtownHorn

CowtownHorn 5126

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2 hours ago, RGBIII said:

TFB

Can’t say what it is but sounds like there is a really good chance you all could be receiving some excellent news this weekend.

This is not in reference to the Trevell Johnson news. This is a separate piece of good news likely headed your way.

If anything changes, I’ll let you know. Stay tuned.

image.gif.8b754bd4f2d4ced034623d3a05a6ab13.gif
 

image.gif.e06d98772590a9a656a5688c4f386f13.gif

 

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jinx

jinx 2636

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1 hour ago, ChonkySalmon666 said:

Def gonna be giving this new recruiting coordinator my glizzy - Kendra Scott style. Gotta see if Woo got her number yet

I think I am gonna start negging anyone that uses "glizzy" or "woo" on general principle.

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JackBurton

JackBurton 83

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So do we think Landon Hullaby has a commitable offer, given the staff's focus on Harris/Anderson/Allen (and possibly Kerr or Brooks, but not as clear) and that Guilbeau is already committed? If we're gonna take 6 then I would assume yes - if it's 5 than I feel like he could end up the odd man out, despite the fact that 9.95ers have said he's more of a when than and if. 

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futureman

futureman 22704

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3 hours ago, RGBIII said:

TFB

Can’t say what it is but sounds like there is a really good chance you all could be receiving some excellent news this weekend.

This is not in reference to the Trevell Johnson news. This is a separate piece of good news likely headed your way.

If anything changes, I’ll let you know. Stay tuned.

 

A0BE549A-3ECA-466C-9011-8A401B9C50A0.jpeg

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texifornia

texifornia 59017

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14 minutes ago, JackBurton said:

So do we think Landon Hullaby has a commitable offer, given the staff's focus on Harris/Anderson/Allen (and possibly Kerr or Brooks, but not as clear) and that Guilbeau is already committed? If we're gonna take 6 then I would assume yes - if it's 5 than I feel like he could end up the odd man out, despite the fact that 9.95ers have said he's more of a when than and if. 

It's commitable. TCU was working him during thr transition, just like Guilbeau.

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