Texas Recruiting Notes 2022 - Idiotic Slapfights Unrelated To 2022 Recruiting

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

Is it a bad thing that coach Sark is having to jump in on these recruitments to keep us in it. Shouldn't he only be closing? Or did I read that wrong (I am drunk coming from a yard house happy hour)

Without any supporting research, head coaches who are active recruiters have a higher win rate on priority targets. It was where Herman fell short in recruiting. JoJo Earle was getting calls from Ed O and Saban, and we were efforting with Carrington.
Especially with Offensive targets, it’s a good thing that the hc is an overachieving recruiter as a general rule.

[Machinator 32097]

 

[trythisathome 971]

4 minutes ago, Machinator said:

 

Nice little promo all around, but I don't think I've ever actually seen the LBJ fountain on. 

[Machinator 32097]

 

[UDontKnow 10439]

2 hours ago, Machinator said:

https://247sports.com/player/isaiah-bond-46097889/

Want this guy to commit for the entertaining skits to follow.

"The name is Bond...Isaiah Bond."

[Machinator 32097]

 

[lemonandaturd 4285]

45 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

Want this guy to commit for the entertaining skits to follow.

"The name is Bond...Isaiah Bond."

If he visits he might see Pussy Galore.  

[HtownHorn 14491]

2 hours ago, Coach pop a bitch said:

Is it a bad thing that coach Sark is having to jump in on these recruitments to keep us in it. Shouldn't he only be closing? Or did I read that wrong (I am drunk coming from a yard house happy hour)

Hell no. We just fired a coach that thought his only role in recruiting was to close.

[Bevo 13528]

Just now, HtownHorn said:

Hell no. We just fired a coach that thought his only role in recruiting was to close.

And he sucked at closing.

[Machinator 32097]

 

[HtownHorn 14491]

Just now, Bevo said:

And he sucked at closing.

You don't sign multiple Top 10 classes if you suck at closing. His problem was that most kids started making their decisions before he got involved. Which is hilarious considering how big a micromanager he actually was.

[Bevo 13528]

Just now, HtownHorn said:

You don't sign multiple Top 10 classes if you suck at closing. His problem was that most kids started making their decisions before he got involved. Which is hilarious considering how big a micromanager he actually was.

Tell me about Noah Cain.

[HtownHorn 14491]

4 minutes ago, Bevo said:

Tell me about Noah Cain.

He fucked that up, now go tell me about 2018(3), 2019(3), and 2020(8).

[trythisathome 971]

9 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

He fucked that up, now go tell me about 2018(3), 2019(3), and 2020(8).

Carrington/Beck, Carrington/Beck, Carrington/Beck 

[Machinator 32097]

 

[Laga4 1270]

1 hour ago, Bevo said:

And he sucked at closing.

FIFY

[Machinator 32097]

Mike at Night: News and notes on upcoming visitors

Spoiler

— Four-star Evanston (IL.) Township linebacker Sebastian Cheeks has his official visit locked in. He tells me that he will be in Austin June 11-13. Texas is the second visit he's set up along with North Carolina. Notre Dame and Michigan are also expected to receive trips as the midwest rivals are looked at as the front runners at the moment. Texas remains in striking distance and could really make waves with a big visit weekend. Cheeks has been itching to see Austin and now he will get his chance.

— Southaven (MS.) Aaron Bryant has his visit locked in as well for June 25-27. Bryant has always been open about how he feels about Texas, but Ole Miss is going to be a tough opponent in this race. The Rebels are deeply tied to his family and those around him expect him to stay in state. Anything can happen with a great visit, but Texas would have to make up some ground.

— Reno (NV) McQueen athlete Robby Snelling is set to be in Austin June 11-13. Jeff Choate is playing a large part in Texas expanding out west and Snelling is part of that expansion. Expect the Longhorns to keep making waves out west in states where they haven't traditionally had success. I'm told by folks I spoke with out that way that Snelling is high on Stanford where he was previously committed for baseball and UCLA. Texas can sell football and a strong baseball program under David Pierce putting them into the picture big time for Snelling.

— I was at Lewisville today and saw Texas commit Armani Winfield. He currently has an injury that will keep him out through the spring, but he's in good spirits. Winfield told me that everything is good with him and Texas and he's looking forward to his summer visit. He's also looking into making a trip to Austin for the spring game but isn't sure if he will make it or not yet. Speaking of spring game visitors, Maalik Murphy told me he's doing everything in his power to get to Austin for that weekend.

 

[HtownHorn 14491]

So kids can come to the spring games, just no interaction with the coaches?

[Machinator 32097]

1 minute ago, HtownHorn said:

So kids can come to the spring games, just no interaction with the coaches?

Correct.

[Radical Larry 28529]

There can be interactions with strategically placed bags, though. 

[HtownHorn 14491]

1 minute ago, Radical Larry said:

There can be interactions with strategically placed bags, though. 

and ranches.

[Hornlover 8824]

2 hours ago, Machinator said:

 

Milwee should keep the ballcap on. At all times. 

[Tex Pete 20182]

1 hour ago, Hornlover said:

Milwee should keep the ballcap on. At all times. 

[SydneyCarton 47892]

8 hours ago, Machinator said:

 

 

6 hours ago, Hornlover said:

Milwee should keep the ballcap on. At all times. 

I’ll take it a step further. He should have his head lazered or Nare’d weekly and should be forced to shave daily with a safety razor before being allowed to leave home. Or face a code red. The shadow of his pedo-stache is with that pasty nine-head is off-putting as fuck. 

[closetojumping 62256]

1 hour ago, SydneyCarton said:

 

I’ll take it a step further. He should have his head lazered or Nare’d weekly and should be forced to shave daily with a safety razor before being allowed to leave home. Or face a code red. The shadow of his pedo-stache is with that pasty nine-head is off-putting as fuck. 

My understanding is that he’s playing the new backwoods child molester killer villain in the upcoming 4th season of True Detective. 

[westexhorn 2008]

dont give a fuck what Milwee looks like as long as he gets our QBs ready to molest OU

[TommyGufano 6021]

Shaved head is the go-to look for ascending defensive coordinate in his early 40's. Offensive wunderkinds are meant to have full heads of hear. Tough situation for Milwee; probably needs to visit Jeremy Piven's hair restoration guy if he wants to make it big as a coach

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

14 minutes ago, TommyGufano said:

Shaved head is the go-to look for ascending defensive coordinate in his early 40's. Offensive wunderkinds are meant to have full heads of hear. Tough situation for Milwee; probably needs to visit Jeremy Piven's hair restoration guy if he wants to make it big as a coach

Matt Canada says hello

[TommyGufano 6021]

6 minutes ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

Matt Canada says hello

He's 50 and never been a (non-interim) head coach. If anything he proves the point. It's also possible he blows ass, which may be a contributing factor to his career stalling out

Edited April 13, 2021 by TommyGufano

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

3 minutes ago, TommyGufano said:

He's 50 and never been a (non-interim) head coach. If anything he proves the point. It's also possible he blows ass, which may be a contributing factor to his career stalling out

Young Mr. Canada has taken the Steelers OC gig (which is the league he belongs in).

Also, PJ Fleck, James Franklin, and Matt Nagy were all bald before 40. 

[TommyGufano 6021]

14 minutes ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

Young Mr. Canada has taken the Steelers OC gig (which is the league he belongs in).

Also, PJ Fleck, James Franklin, and Matt Nagy were all bald before 40. 

Fleck was multiple years into his 2nd HC gig when his hair went; Franklin's hairline is difficult to decipher when he was at Maryland, but I'll give it to you. Good call on Nagy, but even the stigma of being a bald offensive coach can be overcome by standing on Andy Reid's shoulders.

McVay, Kliff, Belly Tat, Freshwater, Sark, Shanahan all come to mind before Franklin and Nagy when I think of offensive coaches. 

Conversely:

 

Anyways, I apologize to all for this digression. And in particular to @Ricky's one-hitter who was deeply upset by my take. I hope in the future we can achieve equal representation for all demographics across all coaching positions, especially the bald.

Edited April 13, 2021 by TommyGufano

[Fud 9546]

@Ricky's one-hitter, patron white knight of balds 

[Bevo 13528]

9 minutes ago, Fud said:

@Ricky's one-hitter, patron white knight of balds 

So Ricky's bald and ctj has a man bun. Next we'll hear satya has his hair in a French braid.

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

10 minutes ago, Bevo said:

So Ricky's bald and ctj has a man bun. Next we'll hear satya has his hair in a French braid.

For the official record, I have an abundance of hair on my head. 

[closetojumping 62256]

9 minutes ago, Bevo said:

So Ricky's bald and ctj has a man bun. Next we'll hear satya has his hair in a French braid.

I've always assumed that sarvanaash is constantly and obsessively just kind of pulling small bunches of hair out as he reads through the news cycle, hour after hour. 

The man-bun potential has gone to zero. I didn't cut my hair from Feb to Sept so it was long and flowing, and then my daughter made me cut it for her wedding. I then continued my personal act of protest against the universe by not cutting it again until I got my second shot. Then my wife reminded me of my promise to end the bullshit whenever a vaccine was delivered at scale. So back to the full shave. Numerous women wailed at the loss of the curly locks. 

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

8 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

my daughter made me cut it

 

8 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

my wife reminded me of my promise to end the bullshit

 

8 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Numerous women wailed at the loss of the curly locks.

[ousux 5587]

dont give a fuck what Milwee looks like as long as he gets our QBs ready to molest OU

Exactly. Some of the best coaches arent exactly physical specimens, and none were ever pursued to pose for GQ. Belichick, Andy Reid, Mangino..I could go on and on. Sark believes in Milwee, thats good enough for me at this point.

[ousux 5587]

I also do not think the NFL is full of 4.8 safeties. Unless they play for the Cowboys. 

I think he was referring to safties entering their 8th-10th year in the league who may have lost a step to age and injuries...but more than make up for it knowing wtf they're doing, and more importantly..what the offense theyre facing is doing. But yeah, not many safeties get drafted that can't do at least a 4.6 40 coming out of college.

[closetojumping 62256]

1 hour ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

 

 

Well, apparently unlike you, sir, I have more women in my life than 2. I work in 2 offices that are 80%+ females from 22-40 years of age. Regardless, I'll be cut high and tight, and tanned, relaxed and ready on September 4th. I'll bring some sunblock for your shiny head in the event that you make it.

On the recruiting front, in order to semi-stay on topic, there isn't a damned thing out there worth posting that hasn't already been discussed for football. We're going to need a big June to drive this thread up a couple hundred pages and get back on track.

[bigup2dahorns 3343]

[TommyGufano 6021]

13 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Well, apparently unlike you, sir, I have more women in my life than 2. I work in 2 offices that are 80%+ females from 22-40 years of age. Regardless, I'll be cut high and tight, and tanned, relaxed and ready on September 4th. I'll bring some sunblock for your shiny head in the event that you make it.

On the recruiting front, in order to semi-stay on topic, there isn't a damned thing out there worth posting that hasn't already been discussed for football. We're going to need a big June to drive this thread up a couple hundred pages and get back on track.

Yeah, we know:

On 3/18/2021 at 6:35 AM, closetojumping said:

It’s clear to me immediately that none of you understand the demands of what it takes to get a cosmetology license in the state of Texas. 

 

Edited April 13, 2021 by TommyGufano

[SydneyCarton 47892]

1 hour ago, Ricky's one-hitter said:

For the official record, I have an abundance of hair on my head. 

No one wants to hear about your ear hair and old man Donald Sutherland eyebrows, dude. 

[closetojumping 62256]

15 minutes ago, TommyGufano said:

Yeah, we know:

 

Well, my day job is working at a recruiting firm in which we cater to helping retired female gymnasts and ballerinas develop the appropriate skills for entering the workforce and society.

[Red Five 40666]

33 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I work in 2 offices that are 80%+ females from 22-40 years of age.

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

6 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Well, my day job is working at a recruiting firm in which we cater to helping retired female gymnasts and ballerinas develop the appropriate skills for entering the workforce and society.

 

[Machinator 32097]

Looks like Bear Alexander transferred schools again. Fort Worth Brewer.

 

[billfromlaketravis 11363]

2 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Looks like Bear Alexander transferred schools again. Fort Worth Brewer.

 

What are the chances the BOMC controlled UIL lets him play next season? 

[texifornia 56544]

5 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Looks like Bear Alexander transferred schools again. Fort Worth Brewer.

 

He's got every red flag a recruit can have that isn't directly related to personal behavior with his constant high school transferring and shady leftfield commitment.

[Ricky's one-hitter 9084]

6 minutes ago, Machinator said:

Looks like Bear Alexander transferred schools again. Fort Worth Brewer.

 

Is this Peterman, Desoto...ing?

[Laga4 1270]

There's a long way to go in '22 to get this deep in thread deterioration.

Bald headed offensive coaches?