If you could fight one politician or political personality?

[TexArcher 37519]

In this fantasy, it's gonna be on PPV with all proceeds going to a charity of the winner's choice.  Standard MMA rules.  And the person you call out has to take the fight.  Everybody gets one month to get into shape or train or whatever.

Who do you want?

I'll take...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tucker Carlson, please.

[InkaUtexas 25521]

2 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

In this fantasy, it's gonna be on PPV with all proceeds going to a charity of the winner's choice.  Standard MMA rules.  And the person you call out has to take the fight.  Everybody gets one month to get into shape or train or whatever.

Who do you want?

I'll take...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tucker Carlson, please.

Yep, him. Fuck him. And we need a poll once we have a good group of candidates. 

Edited April 27, 2021 by InkaUtexas

[Judge Roybeanbag 11810]

Ted Cruz and it’s not even close 

[TexArcher 37519]

4 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

Yep, him. Fuck him. And we need a poll once we have a good group of candidates. 

Off the top of my head, I would expect the frontrunners to be:

Tucker Carlson, Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz, Josh Hawley, and maybe Laura Ingraham for the ladies?

Edit: Jim Jordan

Edit: Mitch McConnell?

Edit: Why do so many of them need their asses thoroughly kicked on national television?

Edit: I'm not even a liberal, but I'm having trouble even coming up with someone from the left to make the top ten...

Edited April 27, 2021 by TexArcher

[PenelopeWitherspoon 19093]

Josh Hawley

[InkaUtexas 25521]

For sure need Jim Jordan in there. 

[TexArcher 37519]

1 minute ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

Josh Hawley

I would pay a lot to see Josh Hawley get KTFO by a woman.

Edited April 27, 2021 by TexArcher

[InkaUtexas 25521]

4 minutes ago, Judge Roybeanbag said:

Ted Cruz and it’s not even close 

man, why do you want to beat the Canadian? 

[Chooky 13302]

I've had some inflammation in my shoulders lately so I'm gonna take it easy and break all of Mitch McConnell's ribs before I get started on his skull.

[TheStoicPaisano 9904]

Pompeo

[Nolacycling 893]

AOC. Mud wrestling. 

[Chooky 13302]

Maybe Pelosi only to feel the kind of ruthless certainty and confidence that Tyson had in his prime.

[Gil Bang 25898]

that vaping cunt Hannity. 

[Judge Roybeanbag 11810]

I’d like to see Penelope vs. Kushner in a good NYC grudge match.  

[InkaUtexas 25521]

7 minutes ago, Nolacycling said:

AOC. Mud wrestling. 

Give me Ivanka cuz she is used to being groped. 

[DigglerontheHoof 21065]

It's dotard and it ain't even close.  Since I didn't see any fantasy parameters in the OP.  I'd make it where I'm at least 10 years older than him, and get his fat, orange ass to the mat and beat him until he admitted he LOST over and over and over again.  And after he said it a dozen times, I'd beat him until he was unconscious, throw water on him, wake him up and make him tell me he lost over and over again.  And then I'd beat him unconscious again. 

The End. 

[UDontKnow 10439]

Greg Abbott and I would do it while sitting in a wheelchair.

[TexArcher 37519]

5 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

Greg Abbott and I would do it while sitting in a wheelchair.

 

[DigglerontheHoof 21065]

1 minute ago, TexArcher said:

 

[UpperWestside 6136]

How soon before this thread is used as an example in DT for how intolerant and violent the Antifa Cabal is on here?

[atomheartbevo 89449]

57 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

Edit: Jim Jordan

55 minutes ago, InkaUtexas said:

For sure need Jim Jordan in there. 

If you're fighting Jim Jordan, all you need to do is say "I'M BEING MOLESTED BY THE TEAM DOCTOR" and all of the sudden he won't even know you're there. You can then do whatever you need to win.

 

[UpperWestside 6136]

43 minutes ago, Gil Bang said:

that vaping cunt Hannity. 

What I would find interesting is seeing Hannity actually fight someone. He fancies himself an actual tough guy because he has done martial arts training for many years. I am well past wanting to hit someone. However, Iron Mike is not so put him in the Octagon or ring with him. Let’s see how that goes.
 

 

[Neonmoon 38127]

Lindsay Graham. 

I would beat the shame into him 

[Gatorubet 30113]

Steve Scalise. I’m hard of hearing, so I might miss his ‘stop’. I’m hard of seeing, so I might miss his ‘go limp’. I am tactile challenged so I might not feel his ‘tap out’.

So I’d keep on punching while asking him, “That sound - is it gun shots?”

[F250 28691]

 

 

 

[washparkhorn 9935]

 

[Biff Tannen 45497]

5 minutes ago, washparkhorn said:

 

Man. This might be the winner for me. God damn. 

[Tuco 5076]

National: Trump. For many reasons, not the least of which is that he’d expect to win. Because he’s just that stupid and delusional about his abilities.

Local: Pete Ricketts.

[MC Fresh Breath 4074]

Henry Kissinger 

[RDCanecutter 26281]

I don't want to fight anybody, just in case this thread ever gets used as evidence.

However, I would laugh my ass off if Mo Brooks were to accidentally fall into a pit filled with starving cannibal hillbillies.

[Tuco 5076]

I don't want to fight anybody, just in case this thread ever gets used as evidence.
However, I would laugh my ass off if Mo Brooks were to accidentally fall into a pit filled with starving cannibal hillbillies.

I thought that was his base.

[RDCanecutter 26281]

Just now, Tuco said:

I thought that was his base.

You're thinking of the well-fed cannibal hillbillies.

[We’reTexas 1469]

Can I just piss on Rush Limbaugh’s grave?

[BearSchlong 8077]

Allen West. That guy is a real dick.

Especially if I had a month to train.

[bolverk 29401]

I'm not in the best of shape after over a year of working from home, so I'd go with an easy one who definitely deserves an ass kicking: Dannie Goeb. Yeah, I know it's not very sporting. If y'all have a problem with it, my other two choices are Louie Goehmert and Briscoe Cain. The board can decide.

[hpslugga 4044]

Alan Dershowitz 

[Upgrayedd 5806]

Bannon 

[hobbes2702 12846]

Is using Rush’s corpse as a heavy bag an option?

[Degenerate Gardner 4081]

Gandhi, or if he's unavailable, Ben Shapiro. 

[UDontKnow 10439]

57 minutes ago, MC Fresh Breath said:

Henry Kissinger 

The architect of evil. What an underrated selection. You might as well include Richard Nixon with Kissinger. 

[atomheartbevo 89449]

6 minutes ago, Degenerate Gardner said:

Gandhi,

[Sawbonz 27436]

3 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

AOC. Mud wrestling. 

[Heisenberg 162]

I would like to fight Hot Wheels and Dan Patrick, those two vs. me, in a Thunderdome match.

[BigHorn'13 3355]

5 hours ago, bolverk said:

I'm not in the best of shape after over a year of working from home, so I'd go with an easy one who definitely deserves an ass kicking: Dannie Goeb. Yeah, I know it's not very sporting. If y'all have a problem with it, my other two choices are Louie Goehmert and Briscoe Cain. The board can decide.

Goehmert, please. And while we're talking dumbass (I know, redundant) aggy and since the prime assholes have been mentioned (not sure I saw Cheney tho), I'd fuck up Rick Perry. No training needed. I'll just log into my student loans account to refresh my memory of why I hate that fucking dunce. 

[immamac 42519]

Yeah...this is pick a person not go into graphic detail about violence. This isn't the board for that. 

[Al_4_ISU 12409]

It's dotard and it ain't even close.  Since I didn't see any fantasy parameters in the OP.  I'd make it where I'm at least 10 years older than him, and get his fat, orange ass to the mat and beat him until he admitted he LOST over and over and over again.  And after he said it a dozen times, I'd beat him until he was unconscious, throw water on him, wake him up and make him tell me he lost over and over again.  And then I'd beat him unconscious again. 
The End. 

This is my pick too.

Maybe Steve King, if he still counts.

[Bojack 2073]

If it's a fist fight, Charlie Kirk.  After he's knocked the fuck out, I want to whisper "lil bits, lil bits."

If it's verbal, MTG.  I'd like to approach her and ask, "Anyone ever tell you look like Mr. Potatohead?" in a tone that suggests I'm making a flattering comparison.  Then when she and her entourage act offended, I say something like, "I'm so sorry.  I meant no offense.  What's the new woke term for it?  Genderless Plastic Potato Person?"  as if they're taking offense at the Mr. part.  

 

[Fudge Nuggets 19151]

9 hours ago, Nolacycling said:

AOC. Mud wrestling. 

If we're going that route I'm taking on the tag team of AOC and Lina Hidalgo in a jello wrestling match.

[Fudge Nuggets 19151]

1 hour ago, immamac said:

Yeah...this is pick a person not go into graphic detail about violence. This isn't the board for that. 

Motion for graphic details to be allowed in describing the AOC + Lina Hidalgo tag team match.

[Bojack 2073]

I'd be tempted to fight Eric Trump except I'd rather not shred my fist on those teeth.  I'd love to hurt Alex Jones somehow but would not want to see my fist disappear into that toxic ooze of cookie dough.