What animal could you beat in a fight?

[HenryJames 66368]

 

 

Edited May 14, 2021 by HenryJames
Already a post.

[SwanderedTalent 5761]

5 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

And who are all you fucktards who think you could beat an elephant?

who are the low-self-esteem motherfuckers who think they'd lose to a rat?

[Zharkov 293]

On 5/14/2021 at 10:31 AM, SwanderedTalent said:

who are the low-self-esteem motherfuckers who think they'd lose to a rat?

The ones that already have.

[ChiTownDoc 21255]

Florida Man.  

[WhatTheBuck 28852]

I once killed a mouse with a pair of homemade nunchucks.

[52-80 19287]

baby rhinos and hippos

[Guest]

Good majority of people on hereare scared shitless of everything from a bull snake to tarantulas.

The self-professed badassery is bringing the LOlz on both threads.  Buncha folks on here would shit their pants if truly threatened.

[956 Worldwide 34994]

For sure an armadillo.  I think I’ll eventually get the better of everything in the turtle family. 

[RPM 26433]

[Steel Shank 9440]

Although their skills in magic could cause me problems.

[deadshank 24653]

3 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

For sure an armadillo.  I think I’ll eventually get the better of everything in the turtle family. 

 

[futureman 22566]

11 hours ago, slorch said:

The self-professed badassery is bringing the LOlz on both threads. 

chimps are like four feet tall. I’d destroy a chimp. same with those bitchass lightweight boxers. what does floyd mayweather weigh, like 140 pounds? I’d beat the shit out of him. 

[Braff Zacklin 13672]

I once had a fight to the death with a giant space octopus. The invertebrate won ... but barely.

Later, as I was feasting on a tentacle, I arrived at the conclusion that it hadn't been worth it--the meat was too chewy and sucker marks take weeks to go away.

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

11 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

For sure an armadillo.  I think I’ll eventually get the better of everything in the turtle family. 

 

 

But nope

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest]

Da snappah!!!

 

Be careful where you skinny-dip!!!

[Al_4_ISU 12549]

I had to bash a lot of rats as a kid (cleaning out a pit full of spilled grain).  Not quite Charlie Kelly levels, but I remain undefeated against vermin.

[Mileslong 4753]

This fucker was trying to get in my attic and I called him out to meet me in my back yard. He bowed up and I just kicked him over the fence into my neighbors pool.

The last thing I told him, before I literally kicked his ass, was to go tell all his rat friends to stay the fuck out of my yard. Stupid fancy tailed rat...

[Baboontyme 2844]

I think I would max out at about a goat. Not a regular one. Like a mini one, one of those pygmies of unspecified heritage and sexual orientation. If it's confused about some things that gives me a better shot. 

[Gatorubet 30437]

chimps are like four feet tall. I’d destroy a chimp.

They’d say, “What a great fight! Was it worth the loss of your scrotum? “

[WhatTheBuck 28852]

7 hours ago, Mileslong said:

This fucker was trying to get in my attic and I called him out to meet me in my back yard. He bowed up and I just kicked him over the fence into my neighbors pool.

The last thing I told him, before I literally kicked his ass, was to go tell all his rat friends to stay the fuck out of my yard. Stupid fancy tailed rat...

[Nivek 17080]

Protozoa

[SHOOTER12 8859]

On 5/19/2021 at 11:12 PM, futureman said:

chimps are like four feet tall. I’d destroy a chimp. same with those bitchass lightweight boxers. what does floyd mayweather weigh, like 140 pounds? I’d beat the shit out of him. 

Yeah, I had that attitude about boxing/boxers right up through Greek week at SWT in 1975. I was boxing as a GDI and breezed through my first two bouts with little problem.  The third one? I had a hard time not bursting out laughing when I saw my opponent.  Thin, pasty little bastard with thick horned rim glasses.  Although we were both about the same weight, he was was soft and flabby, no muscle tone at all.  Well, that little pale, flabby bastard burned me up in short order.  It was like he had 10 arms and 18 fists..... never tried to box again.

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

I have a friend that would only eat meat from animals that he felt he could actually catch and kill with his hands.  It was some ethical thing.  So he basically just ate chicken.

Edited May 26, 2021 by dingleberryswitzer

[Wulaw Horn 19331]

I’m convinced I could kill a wolf (one wolf not a pack) with my bare hands, if there was a body of water around. 
not one of those big ducking timberwolves or anything but like an 80 pound southern type wolf. I think I could kill a coyote on dry land. 

Edited June 1, 2021 by Wulaw Horn

[DoobieWah 1477]

I think you're all kidding yourselves. There is a reason man invented weapons and fire - basically to protect themselves from anything bigger than a chipmunk. 

A pissed off chimpanzee would destroy every one of you, ( I mean "us").

Edited June 7, 2021 by DoobieWah
And lest you forget, pussy is undefeated.

[SHOOTER12 8859]

A titmouse... maybe...on a good day?

[FlaBuff 47]

Bitchass goldfish better know it’s place or it will know these hands.

[HornsOverIthaca 2339]

Wombat

[closetohumping 17574]

2 hours ago, FlaBuff said:

Bitchass goldfish better know it’s place or it will know these hands.

I just picked up a little gold fish flopping around.  Twitchy as fuck

[WhatTheBuck 28852]

On 6/7/2021 at 4:07 PM, DoobieWah said:

There is a reason man invented weapons and fire

Because there was no such thing as fire before we invented it. 

[immamac 43713]

I feel like this thread has potential. 

[RGBIII 22843]

I could beat the shit out of a wolf. It’s an aggressive golden retriever, I’d give that mother fucker a stone cold stunner and it wouldn’t know what hit it 

Edited June 9, 2021 by RGBIII

[52-80 19287]

On 6/9/2021 at 4:31 AM, RGBIII said:

I could beat the shit out of a wolf. It’s an aggressive golden retriever, I’d give that mother fucker a stone cold stunner and it wouldn’t know what hit it 

was that triple H or razor ramon?  dude sold the hell out of that stunner

[ROFL BOX 6650]

On 5/20/2021 at 7:30 AM, Al_4_ISU said:

I had to bash a lot of rats as a kid (cleaning out a pit full of spilled grain).  Not quite Charlie Kelly levels, but I remain undefeated against vermin.

GO!! Australia needs you!

[closetohumping 17574]

On 6/10/2021 at 4:09 AM, 52-80 said:

was that triple H or razor ramon?  dude sold the hell out of that stunner

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[Davis Lane 5859]

On 6/8/2021 at 9:31 PM, RGBIII said:

I could beat the shit out of a wolf. It’s an aggressive golden retriever, I’d give that mother fucker a stone cold stunner and it wouldn’t know what hit it 

 

On 6/10/2021 at 6:09 AM, 52-80 said:

was that triple H or razor ramon?  dude sold the hell out of that stunner

 

2 hours ago, closetohumping said:

was that triple H or razor ramon?  dude sold the hell out of that stunner

It doesn't matter who sold the hell out of that stunner.

[Davis Lane 5859]

I don't fuck around with the squirrels in my backyard.

Matter of fact, I feed those motherfuckers regularly.

 

 

Edited June 11, 2021 by Davis Lane

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

I killed gophers by any means necessary when I was a kid...baseball bat, foot stomp, twist they little heads off.  The county paid $.25 per striped gopher and $.50 per flicker tail.  Killing flicker tails was more than twice as hard because I couldn't haul enough water in my wagon to flush out even one of those fuckers from their extensive burrows.  I had one striped gopher try to scurry back down another hole, and I grabbed it by the tail which completely skinned it from the bone.  I drowned it out of that hole and threaded the skin and fur back on the skeleton just so I wouldn't lose that $.25.  Nowadays, kids can't even put a condom on a gotdam cucumber without a PE teacher. Gopher hunting was an art form, however brutal.

It was the mid-to-late 60s, so I should have coined the term Gophercong.

Edited June 11, 2021 by ImissWallyPryor

[Grade of D as in David 13253]

28 minutes ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I killed gophers by any means necessary when I was a kid...baseball bat, foot stomp, twist they little heads off.  The county paid $.25 per striped gopher and $.50 per flicker tail.  Killing flicker tails was more than twice as hard because I couldn't haul enough water in my wagon to flush out even one of those fuckers from their extensive burrows.  I had one striped gopher try to scurry back down another hole, and I grabbed it by the tail which completely skinned it from the bone.  I drowned it out of that hole and threaded the skin and fur back on the skeleton just so I wouldn't lose that $.25.  Nowadays, kids can't even put a condom on a gotdam cucumber without a PE teacher. Gopher hunting was an art form, however brutal.

It was the mid-to-late 60s, so I should have coined the term Gophercong.

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

That would be me if it were not for UT.

[RDCanecutter 26570]

I could take most smaller and weaker humans, especially the ones that are completely unskilled in fighting and/or are unaware that I am about to attack them.

[NAVY 6868]

3 hours ago, ImissWallyPryor said:

I killed gophers by any means necessary when I was a kid...baseball bat, foot stomp, twist they little heads off.  The county paid $.25 per striped gopher and $.50 per flicker tail.  Killing flicker tails was more than twice as hard because I couldn't haul enough water in my wagon to flush out even one of those fuckers from their extensive burrows.  I had one striped gopher try to scurry back down another hole, and I grabbed it by the tail which completely skinned it from the bone.  I drowned it out of that hole and threaded the skin and fur back on the skeleton just so I wouldn't lose that $.25.  Nowadays, kids can't even put a condom on a gotdam cucumber without a PE teacher. Gopher hunting was an art form, however brutal.

It was the mid-to-late 60s, so I should have coined the term Gophercong.

Fucking brutal. I had to check if that was copy pasta. 

Tell us more of your people's gopher jihad.