Jump to content

22% of men (incl. Kevin) don't realize that a chimp would fucking wreck them


Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)
26 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

There's a very popular video of a man punching a kangaroo.  Kangaroo didn't do shit

This one?  It had his dog!  The punch was absolutely justified.

Sskz0y.gif

 

Kangaroos appear to be assholes.

 

Edited by nnm
  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Haha 2
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Posted

One of my favorite golf pods, Chasing Scratch, has a question.  If you put a great white shark and a polar bear in an olympic size swimming pool, who get's out alive.  Some qualifications include the bear can't get out of the pool and jump on the shark and an argument over how deep the pool is.. I saw the pool is 9 meters deep.  I'm team shark...

  • Hook 'Em 1
Posted
12 minutes ago, nnm said:

This one?  It had his dog!  The punch was absolutely justified.

Sskz0y.gif

 

Kangaroos appear to be assholes.

Other kangaroos seeing the video: "I'd like to see him try that shit with me."

  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Posted
38 minutes ago, Litig8r said:

One of my favorite golf pods, Chasing Scratch, has a question.  If you put a great white shark and a polar bear in an olympic size swimming pool, who get's out alive.  Some qualifications include the bear can't get out of the pool and jump on the shark and an argument over how deep the pool is.. I saw the pool is 9 meters deep.  I'm team shark...

Chat GPT says no contest.  The shark has a massive advantage:

Spoiler

In an Olympic-size swimming pool (50 meters long, 25 meters wide, and 9 meters deep), the great white shark has a massive advantage over the polar bear, leading to an almost certain victory for the shark.

Analysis of the Situation

  1. Mobility & Environment

    • The great white shark (Carcharodon carcharias) is a purely aquatic predator, built for fast and powerful swimming. In a deep pool, it can maneuver easily and strike at will.
    • The polar bear (Ursus maritimus) is an excellent swimmer, but it is not adapted for long-term survival in deep water with no land. Without a resting platform, exhaustion will set in.
  2. Attack Capabilities

    • The great white shark can launch high-speed ambush attacks from below, delivering devastating bites with serrated teeth designed to rip through flesh and bone.
    • The polar bear has powerful forelimbs and claws, but in deep water, it lacks a solid footing to deliver effective blows.
  3. Stamina & Survival

    • The shark can swim indefinitely in the pool.
    • The polar bear, despite its excellent swimming ability, would become exhausted over time. It normally swims between ice floes and needs to rest periodically.

Outcome

  • The shark will dominate the encounter. It can circle the bear, wait for exhaustion, and then attack from below. One or two well-placed bites could cause fatal injuries.
  • The bear has no way to escape and will eventually drown or succumb to attacks.

Final Verdict:

The great white shark gets out alive. The polar bear does not.

In contrast, Grok concludes that  in this highly hypothetical and unnatural confrontation, the polar bear might have a slight edge due to its resilience and ability to withstand initial damage, but both animals could end up severely compromised or dead:

Spoiler

If you put a great white shark and a polar bear in an olympic size swimming pool, who gets out alive? Some qualifications include the bear can't get out of the pool and jump on the shark and the pool is 9 meters deep.
 
In a scenario where a great white shark and a polar bear are confined to an Olympic-sized swimming pool with a depth of 9 meters and the bear cannot escape the pool:
 
  • Great White Shark: Known for its speed, agility, and powerful bite, the shark has a significant advantage in water. Its primary hunting method involves rapid, surprise attacks from below, using its speed to close the distance quickly. However, its maneuverability might be somewhat limited in a confined space like a pool, especially with a large object like a polar bear.
  • Polar Bear: Polar bears are excellent swimmers, capable of swimming vast distances in the Arctic waters. They are also adept hunters with strong, sharp claws and powerful jaws. In deep water, however, the bear might not be as agile as on land or ice, but it could use its paws to fend off or even grab the shark if it gets close enough. The bear's disadvantage is its inability to escape to land or ice where it would have a clear upper hand.
 
Given these dynamics:
 
  • Initial Advantage: The shark would likely have an initial advantage with its speed and surprise attack capability in the water. However, if the bear manages to grab or injure the shark, the scenario could shift.
  • Endurance and Stamina: Polar bears have significant endurance, but in a prolonged struggle in water, both animals would tire. The shark might tire more quickly outside its natural environment of open water, where it can keep moving to breathe.
  • Outcome: If we consider the scenario where both animals engage in combat:
     
    • The shark could land several bites, potentially lethal ones if they hit vital areas like the bear's underbelly or limbs. However, the bear's thick fur, blubber, and tough skin might protect it from immediately fatal injuries.
    • The bear, if it manages to get a hold of the shark, could potentially use its strength to crush or severely injure the shark, perhaps even biting through to vital organs if it gets a good grip.
    • If neither can escape or kill the other quickly, the encounter might end with both animals severely injured or exhausted.
 
Who Gets Out Alive? Given these considerations:
 
  • Most Likely Scenario: If one must survive, it's more probable that the polar bear would come out alive due to its resilience, especially if it can withstand initial attacks long enough to counterattack effectively. However, this is highly speculative, as both animals could potentially kill each other in such an unnatural setting.
  • Least Likely Scenario: If the shark manages to inflict critical damage early on, it might survive, but this would depend heavily on the bear not managing to retaliate effectively.
 
In summary, in this highly hypothetical and unnatural confrontation, the polar bear might have a slight edge due to its resilience and ability to withstand initial damage, but both animals could end up severely compromised or dead.

 

Posted
17 hours ago, Litig8r said:

One of my favorite golf pods, Chasing Scratch, has a question.  If you put a great white shark and a polar bear in an olympic size swimming pool, who get's out alive.  Some qualifications include the bear can't get out of the pool and jump on the shark and an argument over how deep the pool is.. I saw the pool is 9 meters deep.  I'm team shark...

 

17 hours ago, nnm said:

Chat GPT says no contest.  The shark has a massive advantage:

  Reveal hidden contents

In an Olympic-size swimming pool (50 meters long, 25 meters wide, and 9 meters deep), the great white shark has a massive advantage over the polar bear, leading to an almost certain victory for the shark.

Analysis of the Situation

  1. Mobility & Environment

    • The great white shark (Carcharodon carcharias) is a purely aquatic predator, built for fast and powerful swimming. In a deep pool, it can maneuver easily and strike at will.
    • The polar bear (Ursus maritimus) is an excellent swimmer, but it is not adapted for long-term survival in deep water with no land. Without a resting platform, exhaustion will set in.
  2. Attack Capabilities

    • The great white shark can launch high-speed ambush attacks from below, delivering devastating bites with serrated teeth designed to rip through flesh and bone.
    • The polar bear has powerful forelimbs and claws, but in deep water, it lacks a solid footing to deliver effective blows.
  3. Stamina & Survival

    • The shark can swim indefinitely in the pool.
    • The polar bear, despite its excellent swimming ability, would become exhausted over time. It normally swims between ice floes and needs to rest periodically.

Outcome

  • The shark will dominate the encounter. It can circle the bear, wait for exhaustion, and then attack from below. One or two well-placed bites could cause fatal injuries.
  • The bear has no way to escape and will eventually drown or succumb to attacks.

Final Verdict:

The great white shark gets out alive. The polar bear does not.

In contrast, Grok concludes that  in this highly hypothetical and unnatural confrontation, the polar bear might have a slight edge due to its resilience and ability to withstand initial damage, but both animals could end up severely compromised or dead:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

If you put a great white shark and a polar bear in an olympic size swimming pool, who gets out alive? Some qualifications include the bear can't get out of the pool and jump on the shark and the pool is 9 meters deep.
 
In a scenario where a great white shark and a polar bear are confined to an Olympic-sized swimming pool with a depth of 9 meters and the bear cannot escape the pool:
 
  • Great White Shark: Known for its speed, agility, and powerful bite, the shark has a significant advantage in water. Its primary hunting method involves rapid, surprise attacks from below, using its speed to close the distance quickly. However, its maneuverability might be somewhat limited in a confined space like a pool, especially with a large object like a polar bear.
  • Polar Bear: Polar bears are excellent swimmers, capable of swimming vast distances in the Arctic waters. They are also adept hunters with strong, sharp claws and powerful jaws. In deep water, however, the bear might not be as agile as on land or ice, but it could use its paws to fend off or even grab the shark if it gets close enough. The bear's disadvantage is its inability to escape to land or ice where it would have a clear upper hand.
 
Given these dynamics:
 
  • Initial Advantage: The shark would likely have an initial advantage with its speed and surprise attack capability in the water. However, if the bear manages to grab or injure the shark, the scenario could shift.
  • Endurance and Stamina: Polar bears have significant endurance, but in a prolonged struggle in water, both animals would tire. The shark might tire more quickly outside its natural environment of open water, where it can keep moving to breathe.
  • Outcome: If we consider the scenario where both animals engage in combat:
     
    • The shark could land several bites, potentially lethal ones if they hit vital areas like the bear's underbelly or limbs. However, the bear's thick fur, blubber, and tough skin might protect it from immediately fatal injuries.
    • The bear, if it manages to get a hold of the shark, could potentially use its strength to crush or severely injure the shark, perhaps even biting through to vital organs if it gets a good grip.
    • If neither can escape or kill the other quickly, the encounter might end with both animals severely injured or exhausted.
 
Who Gets Out Alive? Given these considerations:
 
  • Most Likely Scenario: If one must survive, it's more probable that the polar bear would come out alive due to its resilience, especially if it can withstand initial attacks long enough to counterattack effectively. However, this is highly speculative, as both animals could potentially kill each other in such an unnatural setting.
  • Least Likely Scenario: If the shark manages to inflict critical damage early on, it might survive, but this would depend heavily on the bear not managing to retaliate effectively.
 
In summary, in this highly hypothetical and unnatural confrontation, the polar bear might have a slight edge due to its resilience and ability to withstand initial damage, but both animals could end up severely compromised or dead.

 

The great white hands down. Not only is it substantially larger than the bear, it's fighting on home turf. No contest. 

  • Like 1
Posted

I suspect the bear swims around and the shark swims around and nothing happens.  Eventually the bear will drown because he's unable to get out of the pool.  At some point the shark will eat the rotting bear because there are no other food sources in the swimming pool, then slowing die of starvation.

  • Haha 1
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Posted

IIRC, no GWS has survived captivity so a “pool” setting could fuck up its bearings. If bear has no escape path(land), it’ll eventually tire and become prey as mentioned above. 

  • Like 1
Posted
18 hours ago, Litig8r said:

One of my favorite golf pods, Chasing Scratch, has a question.  If you put a great white shark and a polar bear in an olympic size swimming pool, who get's out alive.  Some qualifications include the bear can't get out of the pool and jump on the shark and an argument over how deep the pool is.. I saw the pool is 9 meters deep.  I'm team shark...

Question.  Is there water in the pool.  If no, I'm team bear.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 4
Posted
18 hours ago, nnm said:

Chat GPT says no contest.  The shark has a massive advantage:

  Reveal hidden contents

In an Olympic-size swimming pool (50 meters long, 25 meters wide, and 9 meters deep), the great white shark has a massive advantage over the polar bear, leading to an almost certain victory for the shark.

Analysis of the Situation

  1. Mobility & Environment

    • The great white shark (Carcharodon carcharias) is a purely aquatic predator, built for fast and powerful swimming. In a deep pool, it can maneuver easily and strike at will.
    • The polar bear (Ursus maritimus) is an excellent swimmer, but it is not adapted for long-term survival in deep water with no land. Without a resting platform, exhaustion will set in.
  2. Attack Capabilities

    • The great white shark can launch high-speed ambush attacks from below, delivering devastating bites with serrated teeth designed to rip through flesh and bone.
    • The polar bear has powerful forelimbs and claws, but in deep water, it lacks a solid footing to deliver effective blows.
  3. Stamina & Survival

    • The shark can swim indefinitely in the pool.
    • The polar bear, despite its excellent swimming ability, would become exhausted over time. It normally swims between ice floes and needs to rest periodically.

Outcome

  • The shark will dominate the encounter. It can circle the bear, wait for exhaustion, and then attack from below. One or two well-placed bites could cause fatal injuries.
  • The bear has no way to escape and will eventually drown or succumb to attacks.

Final Verdict:

The great white shark gets out alive. The polar bear does not.

In contrast, Grok concludes that  in this highly hypothetical and unnatural confrontation, the polar bear might have a slight edge due to its resilience and ability to withstand initial damage, but both animals could end up severely compromised or dead:

  Reveal hidden contents

 

If you put a great white shark and a polar bear in an olympic size swimming pool, who gets out alive? Some qualifications include the bear can't get out of the pool and jump on the shark and the pool is 9 meters deep.
 
In a scenario where a great white shark and a polar bear are confined to an Olympic-sized swimming pool with a depth of 9 meters and the bear cannot escape the pool:
 
  • Great White Shark: Known for its speed, agility, and powerful bite, the shark has a significant advantage in water. Its primary hunting method involves rapid, surprise attacks from below, using its speed to close the distance quickly. However, its maneuverability might be somewhat limited in a confined space like a pool, especially with a large object like a polar bear.
  • Polar Bear: Polar bears are excellent swimmers, capable of swimming vast distances in the Arctic waters. They are also adept hunters with strong, sharp claws and powerful jaws. In deep water, however, the bear might not be as agile as on land or ice, but it could use its paws to fend off or even grab the shark if it gets close enough. The bear's disadvantage is its inability to escape to land or ice where it would have a clear upper hand.
 
Given these dynamics:
 
  • Initial Advantage: The shark would likely have an initial advantage with its speed and surprise attack capability in the water. However, if the bear manages to grab or injure the shark, the scenario could shift.
  • Endurance and Stamina: Polar bears have significant endurance, but in a prolonged struggle in water, both animals would tire. The shark might tire more quickly outside its natural environment of open water, where it can keep moving to breathe.
  • Outcome: If we consider the scenario where both animals engage in combat:
     
    • The shark could land several bites, potentially lethal ones if they hit vital areas like the bear's underbelly or limbs. However, the bear's thick fur, blubber, and tough skin might protect it from immediately fatal injuries.
    • The bear, if it manages to get a hold of the shark, could potentially use its strength to crush or severely injure the shark, perhaps even biting through to vital organs if it gets a good grip.
    • If neither can escape or kill the other quickly, the encounter might end with both animals severely injured or exhausted.
 
Who Gets Out Alive? Given these considerations:
 
  • Most Likely Scenario: If one must survive, it's more probable that the polar bear would come out alive due to its resilience, especially if it can withstand initial attacks long enough to counterattack effectively. However, this is highly speculative, as both animals could potentially kill each other in such an unnatural setting.
  • Least Likely Scenario: If the shark manages to inflict critical damage early on, it might survive, but this would depend heavily on the bear not managing to retaliate effectively.
 
In summary, in this highly hypothetical and unnatural confrontation, the polar bear might have a slight edge due to its resilience and ability to withstand initial damage, but both animals could end up severely compromised or dead.

 

this is what AI is really for

Posted
2 hours ago, SquishMitten said:

Walruses have been reported to have killed polar bears. If those fat sacks of shit with ivory face swords can take em out, all my money goes on the great white. 

image.png.0ec86fc3a372be33565c5e48fe2aee17.png

  • Haha 1
Posted (edited)
On 2/6/2025 at 4:22 PM, Litig8r said:

One of my favorite golf pods, Chasing Scratch, has a question.  If you put a great white shark and a polar bear in an olympic size swimming pool, who get's out alive.  Some qualifications include the bear can't get out of the pool and jump on the shark and an argument over how deep the pool is.. I saw the pool is 9 meters deep.  I'm team shark...

Golf pod? Did they mean Greg Norman v. Jack Nicklaus? 

Edited by Bookman
Posted
8 hours ago, Jerry Callo said:

I suspect the bear swims around and the shark swims around and nothing happens.  Eventually the bear will drown because he's unable to get out of the pool.  At some point the shark will eat the rotting bear because there are no other food sources in the swimming pool, then slowing die of starvation.

Sounds like marriage to me.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



×
×
  • Create New...