Jump to content

22% of men (incl. Kevin) don't realize that a chimp would fucking wreck them

Prepuce of Doom

By Prepuce of Doom
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

TexArcher

TexArcher 37506

Posted
Posted
On 1/19/2023 at 9:17 AM, closetohumping said:

Imo. Most men couldn’t handle a pit bull

 

On 1/19/2023 at 6:16 PM, Nivek said:

They aren't men then.  IMO.

 

I'm going to repeat what I said earlier re: German Shepherds -- it's pretty clear that a lot of you have never seen a big dog really try to hurt something.

You're not "handling" either of those dogs.  You're getting dragged to the ground and mauled to death.

And did someone upthread actually say that whether it's a black bear or a grizzly makes a difference?  I mean, sure, it makes a difference in how many seconds it takes that thing to beat you to death with your own arm, maybe.

I love this thread.  4 stars and will read again.

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

Goredho
Goredho

A follow up to the above.  Tl;dr: the Emus are no more, man rules emus, and pussy rules man. My wife finally decided that we are not emu farmers.  Thank God.  She contacted the previous owners, a

Jameslaw121
Jameslaw121

An elephant that doesn't tell the truth  

Goredho
Goredho

We own 4 emus and I wouldn’t fight them either.  A typical feeding goes something like this: 1.  Note emus are across the pen, 100 yards away and looking in the opposite direction.  Safe enough.

Posted Images

Nivek

Nivek 16843

Posted
Posted
24 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

 

 

I'm going to repeat what I said earlier re: German Shepherds -- it's pretty clear that a lot of you have never seen a big dog really try to hurt something.

You're not "handling" either of those dogs.  You're getting dragged to the ground and mauled to death.

And did someone upthread actually say that whether it's a black bear or a grizzly makes a difference?  I mean, sure, it makes a difference in how many seconds it takes that thing to beat you to death with your own arm, maybe.

I love this thread.  4 stars and will read again.

And yet, there is a story posted up about a man killing a mountain lion with his bare hands, another killing a wolf with his bare hands, dude punting a coyote.   A fucking German Shepard isn't dragging a 170 lb sack of meat let alone one resisting.   And once the dog commits to an attack, the man will get his hands on the dog and then have his options.   

  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34412

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, TexArcher said:

 

 

I'm going to repeat what I said earlier re: German Shepherds -- it's pretty clear that a lot of you have never seen a big dog really try to hurt something.

You're not "handling" either of those dogs.  You're getting dragged to the ground and mauled to death.

And did someone upthread actually say that whether it's a black bear or a grizzly makes a difference?  I mean, sure, it makes a difference in how many seconds it takes that thing to beat you to death with your own arm, maybe.

I love this thread.  4 stars and will read again.

I missed it for a while and came back to the idea of choking out an ostrich. A small one is 7 feet tall (a big one is 9) and they weigh as much as an NFL defensive end. They run 45 mph and their legs end in massive claws.  If your hands are around its neck, it’s going to literally kick out your guts. 
 

I wouldn’t fight Nick Bosa, I’m damn sure not gonna bet on myself against a Nick Bosa-sized dinosaur. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 2
  • Haha 3
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
closetohumping

closetohumping 17386

Posted
Posted (edited)


some interesting call outs:

Thai jockey that weighed 210 pounds?

pitt had never shown aggression 

pitts can be jealous?

who names their pitt nazi(another link)

They’re not gonna put the pitt down

I would not count a victory over a pitt as automatic 

 

https://nextshark.com/thai-man-dies-saving-mother-pet-pit-bull-attack?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR0_7AZdwLhylYWYsT8A-eBHuOVZOoBWVq1o-MaRsmwAoTyXN_W11cSseZM&mibextid=Zxz2cZ#Echobox=1676077921

Edited by closetohumping
Link to comment
Share on other sites
closetohumping

closetohumping 17386

Posted
Posted
On 2/6/2023 at 5:37 AM, TexArcher said:

 

 

I'm going to repeat what I said earlier re: German Shepherds -- it's pretty clear that a lot of you have never seen a big dog really try to hurt something.

You're not "handling" either of those dogs.  You're getting dragged to the ground and mauled to death.

And did someone upthread actually say that whether it's a black bear or a grizzly makes a difference?  I mean, sure, it makes a difference in how many seconds it takes that thing to beat you to death with your own arm, maybe.

I love this thread.  4 stars and will read again.

I’m with you.  Most men would lose to a pit or gsd 

5 minutes ago, Braff Zacklin said:

The Pitt had never shown aggression? Bullshit.

17125__troy_l.jpg&q=60

brad-pitt-12monkeys.gif

 

I actually don’t think it’s bs.   Those things can just snap

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Superhero

Superhero 8762

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 2/5/2023 at 9:53 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

You cannot beat up a camel:

 

 

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/furious-camel-bites-tramples-man-29027309

Quote

An angry camel lashed out and killed a man at a children's holiday camp in Russia after it was struck in the face.

 

Hey kids, want to go to a holiday camp and be traumatized for the rest of your life?  

 

Also, we need a new hashtag #RussiaMan.   Like #FloridaMan but with more vodka.

Edited by Superhero
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36041

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Superhero said:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/furious-camel-bites-tramples-man-29027309

 

Hey kids, want to go to a holiday camp and be traumatized for the rest of your life?  

 

Also, we need a new hashtag #RussiaMan.   Like #FloridaMan but with more vodka.

Your link buried the lede. Embedded in the article:

This comes as in Hong Kong, a pig killed a butcher after being stunned at a slaughterhouse - before waking up and lashing out.

The city's police say the 61-year-old, who worked at the Sheung Shui Slaughterhouse near the country's border with mainland China, sustained a wound from a 15-inch meat cleaver after the writhing pig knocked him to the ground.

The butcher had just shot the pig with an electric stun gun when it regained consciousness and toppled him over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
UpperWestside

UpperWestside 6126

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, General Specific said:

Kevin killed by Cock!

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/man-killed-aggressive-pet-rooster-29226369

I recently returned from a month in French Polynesia. The one thing that was just about everywhere I went were roosters. Thank God I am an early riser because those things were loud as heck every morning around 5am. Even though it is illegal there for them to be bred to fight, I was told by a longtime resident that authorities will often look the other way still when it comes to that. They are on the 1000 dollar (roughly equivalent to our 10) bill if I remember correctly. I brought a 500 and 1000 back and they are on one of them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Buzzrock

Buzzrock 14870

Posted
Posted
I missed it for a while and came back to the idea of choking out an ostrich. A small one is 7 feet tall (a big one is 9) and they weigh as much as an NFL defensive end. They run 45 mph and their legs end in massive claws.  If your hands are around its neck, it’s going to literally kick out your guts. 
 
I wouldn’t fight Nick Bosa, I’m damn sure not gonna bet on myself against a Nick Bosa-sized dinosaur. 

Over 99% of the earth’s species are extinct. Everything that’s left is a fucking g and in most cases an unarmed man is losing to anything over about 35 lbs.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
BrickTop

BrickTop 474

Posted
Posted
And yet, there is a story posted up about a man killing a mountain lion with his bare hands, another killing a wolf with his bare hands, dude punting a coyote.   A fucking German Shepard isn't dragging a 170 lb sack of meat let alone one resisting.   And once the dog commits to an attack, the man will get his hands on the dog and then have his options.   
  

6fed176e9db965b03a33280de3760952.gif
Yea, seems impossible
Link to comment
Share on other sites
BrickTop

BrickTop 474

Posted
Posted

6fed176e9db965b03a33280de3760952.gif
Yea, seems impossible

I wore one of these suits once for a guy training Belgian Mals for security, smaller than a German shepherd, l thought the same thing, I could handle the dog easy, I am 6”3 250 and I was very much wrong, the strength is terrifying, and without the suit my arm would of been shredded and probably broken.
  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Fuck Around and Find Out 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kennythetiger

Kennythetiger 9334

Posted
Posted
28 minutes ago, BrickTop said:


I wore one of these suits once for a guy training Belgian Mals for security, smaller than a German shepherd, l thought the same thing, I could handle the dog easy, I am 6”3 250 and I was very much wrong, the strength is terrifying, and without the suit my arm would of been shredded and probably broken.

Those are beautiful dogs. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Nivek

Nivek 16843

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 2/20/2023 at 7:10 PM, BrickTop said:


6fed176e9db965b03a33280de3760952.gif
Yea, seems impossible

Do you mean padded suits which cut down on mobility and stability,  and with a person not actively trying to harm a dog, is set up to make the dog look fierce and powerful?   

 

Edited by Nivek
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...
YGIFS

YGIFS 19449

Posted
Posted

Well this certainly answers the age-old question from Zebras, "God, am I white with black stripes?  Or black with white stripes?"

God:  "You are absolutely white to the core.  With some black striping."

Zebra: "But how do know Lord?"

God:  "If you were black with white stripes...that cop woulda shot the shit outta you when he arrived on scene."  

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Underdog

Underdog 28443

Posted
Posted
On 3/14/2023 at 9:47 AM, conVINCEd said:

I’ve seen zebras in the wild, and they seem to be pretty docile creatures whose sole purpose in life is to avoid getting eaten by a predator.  Was the owner an aggy making unwanted advances on the zebra?

Worse.  An Ohioan. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BrickTop

BrickTop 474

Posted
Posted
Do you mean padded suits which cut down on mobility and stability,  and with a person not actively trying to harm a dog, is set up to make the dog look fierce and powerful?   
 

Yes padded suits that prevent the dog from breaking your bones and tearing your flesh.
  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
GoPokes83

GoPokes83 2236

Posted
Posted

Watched a show about military dogs. 9/10 that dog’s going to win a fight! You get one of those Belgian Malinois coming at you full speed and you’ve got a millisecond to get in a damaging kick or other first shot before it’s on you and they’re trained to evade your attempt to fight it. If you miss with your first try you’re screwed. Pretty good chance it knocks you down and then you’re really in trouble. If the fight lasts long and you’re lucky it’ll leave you with enough muscle and sinew that they’ll be able to save your arm, but how many guys are going to be able to effectively continue to fight while having a quarter of their limbs or more being shredded? I also learned that all military dogs are NCO’s and outrank their handlers.

  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
closetohumping

closetohumping 17386

Posted
Posted
On 3/25/2023 at 7:26 AM, GoPokes83 said:

Watched a show about military dogs. 9/10 that dog’s going to win a fight! You get one of those Belgian Malinois coming at you full speed and you’ve got a millisecond to get in a damaging kick or other first shot before it’s on you and they’re trained to evade your attempt to fight it. If you miss with your first try you’re screwed. Pretty good chance it knocks you down and then you’re really in trouble. If the fight lasts long and you’re lucky it’ll leave you with enough muscle and sinew that they’ll be able to save your arm, but how many guys are going to be able to effectively continue to fight while having a quarter of their limbs or more being shredded? I also learned that all military dogs are NCO’s and outrank their handlers.

It would have to be a fatal kick.  Idk how well versed Kevins are at kicking agrressive dogs.  I'm telling you a pit bull would fuck most of us up.

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...