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I am the greatest lawyer ever!

Wulaw Horn

By Wulaw Horn
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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19068

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Just ran my lifetime record of going to court to 3-0. 
beat a parking in a handicap spot 9 years ago, beat failure to maintain financial responsibility this go round, and also won a small claims court real estate case for a buddy. 
3-0. Suck it Surly litigators. You are getting outshone by a mortgage man that dabbles in real estate shit. 😃

Edited by Wulaw Horn
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phdhorn

phdhorn 6224

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I went to court to battle a parking fine back when.  The prosecution said they were ready.  I was ready.  After a brief consultation, the prosecution said, "I'm sorry your honor, we are not going to pursue this case."  Judge said, "Dismissed."

I beat your ass.  I won in court without saying a word.  And I'm a pimp who dabbled at law while screwing a lawyer chick many years ago.

I win the Internets!!!!

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19068

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18 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

How much did you bill and collect for that work?

Keep score of the things that matter.  :)

Twice representing myself and once for a buddy. I beat $974 in fines and my buddy bought me Mexican food lunch for my small claims court victory. 
now that you put it like that I’m the worst lawyer ever. 

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19068

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11 minutes ago, phdhorn said:

I went to court to battle a parking fine back when.  The prosecution said they were ready.  I was ready.  After a brief consultation, the prosecution said, "I'm sorry your honor, we are not going to pursue this case."  Judge said, "Dismissed."

I beat your ass.  I won in court without saying a word.  And I'm a pimp who dabbled at law while screwing a lawyer chick many years ago.

I win the Internets!!!!

It’s times like this I miss the trophy rep button. 

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ztejas

ztejas 43411

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1 minute ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Ha. No- Washington University in St Louis. 

Oh wow that was my disabled younger brother's safety. 

Jk. I know it's a good school - I always wondered how they got kids to commit to spending 4 years of their life in St. Louis, though. 

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19068

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So here’s the story and I’d actually like a legal opinion from someone who knows the law..

bought my car on Saturday afternoon. Cruises off the lot around 6:00 pm. Had valid insurance at the time, but not on that car as I hadn’t owned it. Got popped Sunday afternoon for speeding and when I showed her my insurance:

Her-you don’t have this car on here.

Me- I just bought it yesterday-insurance company is closed- going to take care of it Monday when they are open. 
Her- here is your ticket. 
called the clerk after I got the insurance fixed and she refused to dismiss. So we set the case for bench trial. 
went in and told story to DA. He dismissed. Court functionaries bitched and actually told him (after they called my insurance company) he didn’t have his car insured on the day of the ticket (after he’d already said dismissed). 
he was like- but he had insurance then and he still has insurance now, right?

them- yes. Him- then like I said- case dismissed. 
I went to the cage and asked for a copy of the dismissal. A different court functionary then told me “you got lucky no other DA would do that” to which I responded with “I guess it was a good day for me then”. Then she said “the DA isn’t allowed to do that (he dismissed the case for lack of proper citation or something) and the other lady at the cage rolled her eyes and said- he signed it-  Not you- just put it in the computer. 
This entire interaction was very bizarre to me as I didn’t make a scene or act ugly or do anything to draw attention to myself. I sat quietly in my mask, talked to the DA for 2 minutes, told my story and then sat there in the back room for 25 minutes while they did the calling of the insurance company and the like. 
like, the court people seemed pissed that I’d gotten away with something. 
This seems abnormal to me. Also- was what I was doing even illegal?  I imagine nobody has insurance at the moment you drive off the lot. Isn’t there coverage if you are insured for scenarios just like that?  
I was a little surprised by the entire experience. 

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21469

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1 minute ago, Wulaw Horn said:

So here’s the story and I’d actually like a legal opinion from someone who knows the law..

bought my car on Saturday afternoon. Cruises off the lot around 6:00 pm. Had valid insurance at the time, but not on that car as I hadn’t owned it. Got popped Sunday afternoon for speeding and when I showed her my insurance:

Her-you don’t have this car on here.

Me- I just bought it yesterday-insurance company is closed- going to take care of it Monday when they are open. 
Her- here is your ticket. 
called the clerk after I got the insurance fixed and she refused to dismiss. So we set the case for bench trial. 
went in and told story to DA. He dismissed. Court functionaries bitched and actually told him (after they called my insurance company) he didn’t have his car insured on the day of the ticket (after he’d already said dismissed). 
he was like- but he had insurance then and he still has insurance now, right?

them- yes. Him- then like I said- case dismissed. 
I went to the cage and asked for a copy of the dismissal. A different court functionary then told me “you got lucky no other DA would do that” to which I responded with “I guess it was a good day for me then”. Then she said “the DA isn’t allowed to do that (he dismissed the case for lack of proper citation or something) and the other lady at the cage rolled her eyes and said- he signed it-  Not you- just put it in the computer. 
This entire interaction was very bizarre to me as I didn’t make a scene or act ugly or do anything to draw attention to myself. I sat quietly in my mask, talked to the DA for 2 minutes, told my story and then sat there in the back room for 25 minutes while they did the calling of the insurance company and the like. 
like, the court people seemed pissed that I’d gotten away with something. 
This seems abnormal to me. Also- was what I was doing even illegal?  I imagine nobody has insurance at the moment you drive off the lot. Isn’t there coverage if you are insured for scenarios just like that?  
I was a little surprised by the entire experience. 

If you are in Texas you had valid insurance on the new vehicle.

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ztejas

ztejas 43411

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7 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

So here’s the story and I’d actually like a legal opinion from someone who knows the law..

bought my car on Saturday afternoon. Cruises off the lot around 6:00 pm. Had valid insurance at the time, but not on that car as I hadn’t owned it. Got popped Sunday afternoon for speeding and when I showed her my insurance:

Her-you don’t have this car on here.

Me- I just bought it yesterday-insurance company is closed- going to take care of it Monday when they are open. 
Her- here is your ticket. 
called the clerk after I got the insurance fixed and she refused to dismiss. So we set the case for bench trial. 
went in and told story to DA. He dismissed. Court functionaries bitched and actually told him (after they called my insurance company) he didn’t have his car insured on the day of the ticket (after he’d already said dismissed). 
he was like- but he had insurance then and he still has insurance now, right?

them- yes. Him- then like I said- case dismissed. 
I went to the cage and asked for a copy of the dismissal. A different court functionary then told me “you got lucky no other DA would do that” to which I responded with “I guess it was a good day for me then”. Then she said “the DA isn’t allowed to do that (he dismissed the case for lack of proper citation or something) and the other lady at the cage rolled her eyes and said- he signed it-  Not you- just put it in the computer. 
This entire interaction was very bizarre to me as I didn’t make a scene or act ugly or do anything to draw attention to myself. I sat quietly in my mask, talked to the DA for 2 minutes, told my story and then sat there in the back room for 25 minutes while they did the calling of the insurance company and the like. 
like, the court people seemed pissed that I’d gotten away with something. 
This seems abnormal to me. Also- was what I was doing even illegal?  I imagine nobody has insurance at the moment you drive off the lot. Isn’t there coverage if you are insured for scenarios just like that?  
I was a little surprised by the entire experience. 

My 2nd PI I talked to the appointed lawyer or whatever (not a judge not a DA - can't remember or don't know the terminology) to try and get it to deferred disposition so it would stay off my record. 

She goes "usually my policy is you just get one" (meaning she wasn't going to approve it for deferred disposition) and then I gave some sob story and ended up talking her out of it. 

My 3rd PI I paid someone to get dismissed. Maybe I could have saved $1,000.

Oh - guess which one is the one that still shows up on my record - the 2 that I pleaded to deferred or the one that I got outright dismissed. 

Edited by ztejas
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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105077

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24 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Twice representing myself and once for a buddy. I beat $974 in fines and my buddy bought me Mexican food lunch for my small claims court victory. 
now that you put it like that I’m the worst lawyer ever. 

Depends.  What was on the mexican plate?  This is important.

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conVINCEd

conVINCEd 21469

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5 minutes ago, ztejas said:

My 2nd PI I talked to the appointed lawyer or whatever (not a judge not a DA - can't remember or don't know the terminology) to try and get it to deferred disposition so it would stay off my record. 

She goes "usually my policy is you just get one" (meaning she wasn't going to approve it for deferred disposition) and then I gave some sob story and ended up talking her out of it. 

My 3rd PI I paid someone to get dismissed. Maybe I could have saved $1,000.

Oh - guess which one is the one that still shows up on my record - the 2 that I pleaded to deferred or the one that I got outright dismissed. 

Usually a condition of differed disposition is that you don’t get popped again for a certain period of time.

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ztejas

ztejas 43411

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1 minute ago, conVINCEd said:

Usually a condition of differed disposition is that you don’t get popped again for a certain period of time.

Yeah this was after that. I can't remember if the probation on both was 90 days or 6 months but it wasn't long. She just saw that I already had one on my record and wasn't initially willing to give me another out.

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utee94

utee94 15808

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11 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Depends.  What was on the mexican plate?  This is important.

Come on man, you know that the Mexican Plate is always the #1 with two enchiladas, rice and beans, and a taco, with guacamole.

I don't dig guacamole so I always get the #2, Comida Regular.

 

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Lhorn

Lhorn 4911

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19 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

Depends.  What was on the mexican plate?  This is important.

If the question is “does a Mexican meal constitute adequate payment for his services” I’d have to ask, was it Pozole?  And if so, did he crumble crackers in it?

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bolverk

bolverk 29656

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My one big win was keeping the starter house in the divorce settlement that the ex-wife and I bought together early on in our careers. She received zero compensation on her half of the value and is now living in an apartment in Lubbock. Meanwhile, this modest South Austin abode has tripled in price in the years since and will likely make up a big part of my retirement nest egg, and I got to keep all my shit.

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Samson's Wig

Samson's Wig 3191

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6 minutes ago, bolverk said:

My one big win was keeping the starter house in the divorce settlement that the ex-wife and I bought together early on in our careers. She received zero compensation on her half of the value and is now living in an apartment in Lubbock. Meanwhile, this modest South Austin abode has tripled in price in the years since and will likely make up a big part of my retirement nest egg, and I got to keep all my shit.

Super Troopers Good Job GIF by Searchlight Pictures

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Sbbruin

Sbbruin 21829

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8 minutes ago, bolverk said:

My one big win was keeping the starter house in the divorce settlement that the ex-wife and I bought together early on in our careers. She received zero compensation on her half of the value and is now living in an apartment in Lubbock. Meanwhile, this modest South Austin abode has tripled in price in the years since and will likely make up a big part of my retirement nest egg, and I got to keep all my shit.

In CA, your ex could have shot you in the nuts and still got half.

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immortal13

immortal13 4059

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2 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

Just ran my lifetime record of going to court to 3-0. 
beat a parking in a handicap spot 9 years ago, beat failure to maintain financial responsibility this go round, and also won a small claims court real estate case for a buddy. 
3-0. Suck it Surly litigators. You are getting outshone by a mortgage man that dabbles in real estate shit. 😃

Right on, bro. I'm 2-0 representing myself in small claims court. First time I had to sue some piece of shit small insurance company for trying to fuck me over in a auto accident claim. Second one I was sued by a collection agency on behalf of Capital One for a $1500 credit card bill that wasn't mine...dismissed with prejudice 🤘

Looks like I'll be trying to make it 3-0 soon due to some other shitty people that cost me a few thousand dollars on a real estate transaction. I'm feeling pretty confident about it. 

/csb

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 19068

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1 hour ago, Anastasis said:

How fast were you going?

67 in a 45. It was bullshit that it was 45. It was on the bridge and it’s 45 for about 1/2 a mile. Normally 55. I thought I was doing 10 over which is my standard when conditions are safe but I was 20 over in that stretch of 1/2 a mile. Of course the officer was camped out right where the road switched from 55 to 45 

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