Dear diary/life advice thread?

[closetohumping 17803]

I understand there's a "help" board but from what I've seen, the content there centers around do it yourself projects. I'm in a bind though.  We just returned to the office at work and sure enough I have a female manager now.  As I was returning to lunch today, she asked if I was smuggling a 9 inch cucumber in my pants and said "you better stifle that thing when you're visiting customers."  10 minutes ago she just asked if I wanted to hit the treadmill in the basement gym.  I feel like I'm being sexually harassed and I had no response to the cucumber comment.  I just sort of walked off.  Should I have said "that's not a cucumber and you're sexually harrassing me" or just let it go.  How should I handle this moving forward?  Please excuse any typos as it's hard to type while running on a treadmill.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

4 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

I understand there's a "help" board but from what I've seen, the content there centers around do it yourself projects. I'm in a bind though.  We just returned to the office at work and sure enough I have a female manager now.  As I was returning to lunch today, she asked if I was smuggling a 9 inch cucumber in my pants and said "you better stifle that thing when you're visiting customers."  10 minutes ago she just asked if I wanted to hit the treadmill in the basement gym.  I feel like I'm being sexually harassed and I had no response to the cucumber comment.  I just sort of walked off.  Should I have said "that's not a cucumber and you're sexually harrassing me" or just let it go.  How should I handle this moving forward?  Please excuse any typos as it's hard to type while running on a treadmill.

You should have asked her how much salad dressing she'd like on her tossed cucumber salad.

[Sbbruin 22142]

I think you should fess up and pull that cucumber out.

[midtown 3354]

I bet you complain about not having seatbelts in the back seat of a taxi

[Bullneck 19511]

1 hour ago, closetohumping said:

I understand there's a "help" board but from what I've seen, the content there centers around do it yourself projects. I'm in a bind though.  We just returned to the office at work and sure enough I have a female manager now.  As I was returning to lunch today, she asked if I was smuggling a 9 inch cucumber in my pants and said "you better stifle that thing when you're visiting customers."  10 minutes ago she just asked if I wanted to hit the treadmill in the basement gym.  I feel like I'm being sexually harassed and I had no response to the cucumber comment.  I just sort of walked off.  Should I have said "that's not a cucumber and you're sexually harrassing me" or just let it go.  How should I handle this moving forward?  Please excuse any typos as it's hard to type while running on a treadmill.

Did you tell her your real name was "Close to Humping?"  

[52-80 19377]

She just Asking for a pickling

[Deej 77804]

So, you're upset there's no longer a male manager asking you this?

[South Austin 53220]

Let us know when she starts coming to work dressed like this.

[Sbbruin 22142]

59 minutes ago, midtown said:

I bet you complain about not having seatbelts in the back seat of a taxi

[Incredulity 11874]

[gmr548 16687]

Nah, no one with a nine inch cucumber gets on the internet to post this story.

[MissingInAction 25554]

Gonna need pics of manager. As you already fucking know.

[The Gimp 354]

Dear Penthouse,

 

also username does not checkout.

[Underdog 29161]

9" cucumber?  Is this your new Mgr? 

[Bullneck 19511]

13 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Gonna need pics of manager. As you already fucking know.

I'm sensing the real issue is that she's not very good looking.

[TexArcher 39037]

Did you lose a couple inches off your cucumber in an accident or something?

[Sbbruin 22142]

8 hours ago, Underdog said:

9" cucumber?

 

Mine's bigger.

[closetohumping 17803]

7 minutes ago, Sbbruin said:

Mine's bigger.

Yes, but friendly advice.  It's supposed to go in the front, not the back.

[Underdog 29161]

Mrs. Wormer would get it.