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2021 Schedule and Times

BurntOrange&White

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Holy shit, who did we offend at Fox?  three fatalities should be a real nice way to open up the new South Endzone.  

I like that they could have done the standard 2:30p, but went with 3:30p just to truly scorch the fucking Earth.   

Getting too old for this shit...

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BurntOrange&White

BurntOrange&White 39665

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9 minutes ago, Lobo said:

Holy shit, who did we offend at Fox?  three fatalities should be a real nice way to open up the new South Endzone.  

I like that they could have done the standard 2:30p, but went with 3:30p just to truly scorch the fucking Earth.   

Getting too old for this shit...

To make it worse, I read that Brando is calling the game 

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SimonBolivar

SimonBolivar 10932

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26 minutes ago, BigOrange1 said:

that fox slate on sep. 4 is nice though:

penn state @ wisconsin, lousiana @ texas, lsu @ ucla

It's just about time for me to start my annual Week 0 & 1 viewing guide. It's going to be the best Labor Day Weekend slate in a looooong time.

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62251

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I'm looking forward to the 9/4 kickoff at 3:30. I'll be in loge suite in the SEZ with a fully stocked fridge, under shade, with monitors, and immediate access to free food and booze in an air-conditioned environment. I'll have myself a rye manhattan at kickoff and toast all you poor bastards on the west side, baking in the hot, hot sun.

There is some downside though, as I envision myself sitting directly above the goalposts and watching things unfold - my own version of Cousin Eddie, in my front yard emptying his RV shitter will be joining me - and by that I mean I'll be seated directly above or below @SydneyCarton. No one can have it all.

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Jester

Jester 382

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14 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I'm looking forward to the 9/4 kickoff at 3:30. I'll be in loge suite in the SEZ with a fully stocked fridge, under shade, with monitors, and immediate access to free food and booze in an air-conditioned environment. I'll have myself a rye manhattan at kickoff and toast all you poor bastards on the west side, baking in the hot, hot sun.

There is some downside though, as I envision myself sitting directly above the goalposts and watching things unfold - my own version of Cousin Eddie, in my front yard emptying his RV shitter will be joining me - and by that I mean I'll be seated directly above or below @SydneyCarton. No one can have it all.

You should sit in front. The stories about Sydney scream spitting Copenhagen long-cut into the back of your freshly bought white coaches polo while Bijan runs for a 30+ yard TD will be classic. 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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22 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I'm looking forward to the 9/4 kickoff at 3:30. I'll be in loge suite in the SEZ with a fully stocked fridge, under shade, with monitors, and immediate access to free food and booze in an air-conditioned environment. I'll have myself a rye manhattan at kickoff and toast all you poor bastards on the west side, baking in the hot, hot sun.

There is some downside though, as I envision myself sitting directly above the goalposts and watching things unfold - my own version of Cousin Eddie, in my front yard emptying his RV shitter will be joining me - and by that I mean I'll be seated directly above or below @SydneyCarton. No one can have it all.

aren't the loge seats still technically outside?  In the heat?  Shade helps though.  

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62251

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1 minute ago, Jester said:

You should sit in front. The stories about Sydney scream spitting Copenhagen long-cut into the back of your freshly bought white coaches polo while Bijan runs for a 30+ yard TD will be classic. 

I don't wear shirts, sir, unless they're french-cuffed button downs fitting underneath a suit or blazer. Also, I believe that weak bastard does the Skoal pouch thing and there is pretty much as zero% chance that his wife would let him do that sitting next to her in public. 

This also reminds me that we can now set an official time for the opening ceremonies of the SurlyHorns Olympics-Boxing Matches-Farmers Market-Rap Battle-Free Closing Ceremony Concert starring The Scabs and 311-Experience on September 4th, at 9am, at the UT intramural fields.

@immamac has graciously volunteered to MC the entire thing while we've been able to secure sponsorship of the event from @Daichee Bell and @RGBIII's local businesses.

After immamac's opening monologue, we'll start the first event with a fat guy high jump and then move to the sprints, 40 yard, 100 yard, and then a 4x100 relay where the minimum weight of a participating sprinter can be no less than 235 pounds.

Then a celebrity fighting match between @GlenFromTheMailRoom and whichever random other poster he always loses his shit on. Title fight between me and Geoff Ketchum from there with the only rule being that no winner can be declared until the other guy is dead and has shit himself on the canvas during his death rattle.

All the while, women and children can browse through the crowded and impromptu farmer's market and craft store pop-up.

Winners of the events get $10 Smoothie King gift cards. Coffee and kolaches will be graciously donated and provided by Mad Dog and Beans.

We're digging up and rolling out the bloated, std and weed-infested corpse of Bob Schneider to lead a reunion riff session with The Scabs and 311 to close things out.

Gear up, folks! We'll be posting a Sign Up Genie soon. SydneyCarton has already dusted off his track cleats from high school and claims that he finished 5th in state in the high jump his senior year and hasn't lost a step.

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immamac

immamac 42521

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Posted
4 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I don't wear shirts, sir, unless they're french-cuffed button downs fitting underneath a suit or blazer. Also, I believe that weak bastard does the Skoal pouch thing and there is pretty much as zero% chance that his wife would let him do that sitting next to her in public. 

This also reminds me that we can now set an official time for the opening ceremonies of the SurlyHorns Olympics-Boxing Matches-Farmers Market-Rap Battle-Free Closing Ceremony Concert starring The Scabs and 311-Experience on September 4th, at 9am, at the UT intramural fields.

@immamac has graciously volunteered to MC the entire thing while we've been able to secure sponsorship of the event from @Daichee Bell and @RGBIII's local businesses.

After immamac's opening monologue, we'll start the first event with a fat guy high jump and then move to the sprints, 40 yard, 100 yard, and then a 4x100 relay where the minimum weight of a participating sprinter can be no less than 235 pounds.

Then a celebrity fighting match between @GlenFromTheMailRoom and whichever random other poster he always loses his shit on. Title fight between me and Geoff Ketchum from there with the only rule being that no winner can be declared until the other guy is dead and has shit himself on the canvas during his death rattle.

All the while, women and children can browse through the crowded and impromptu farmer's market and craft store pop-up.

Winners of the events get $10 Smoothie King gift cards. Coffee and kolaches will be graciously donated and provided by Mad Dog and Beans.

We're digging up and rolling out the bloated, std and weed-infested corpse of Bob Schneider to lead a reunion riff session with The Scabs and 311 to close things out.

Gear up, folks! We'll be posting a Sign Up Genie soon. SydneyCarton has already dusted off his track cleats from high school and claims that he finished 5th in state in the high jump his senior year and hasn't lost a step.

Holy fuck this would be the most incredible event. I'm going to see about 311 that will be the hardest part. 

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Blotto

Blotto 23434

Posted
Posted
Just now, immamac said:

Holy fuck this would be the most incredible event. I'm going to see about 311 that will be the hardest part. 

Finding 4 surly posters that can sprint 100 yards seems unlikely. Finding multiple teams capable of such a feat so you could actually stage a race.... 

giphy.gif

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Ignatius

Ignatius 4002

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59 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I'm looking forward to the 9/4 kickoff at 3:30. I'll be in loge suite in the SEZ with a fully stocked fridge, under shade, with monitors, and immediate access to free food and booze

You keep using that word ‘free’; I don’t think it means what you think it means...

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RGBIII

RGBIII 22798

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, closetojumping said:

I don't wear shirts, sir, unless they're french-cuffed button downs fitting underneath a suit or blazer. Also, I believe that weak bastard does the Skoal pouch thing and there is pretty much as zero% chance that his wife would let him do that sitting next to her in public. 

This also reminds me that we can now set an official time for the opening ceremonies of the SurlyHorns Olympics-Boxing Matches-Farmers Market-Rap Battle-Free Closing Ceremony Concert starring The Scabs and 311-Experience on September 4th, at 9am, at the UT intramural fields.

@immamac has graciously volunteered to MC the entire thing while we've been able to secure sponsorship of the event from @Daichee Bell and @RGBIII's local businesses.

After immamac's opening monologue, we'll start the first event with a fat guy high jump and then move to the sprints, 40 yard, 100 yard, and then a 4x100 relay where the minimum weight of a participating sprinter can be no less than 235 pounds.

Then a celebrity fighting match between @GlenFromTheMailRoom and whichever random other poster he always loses his shit on. Title fight between me and Geoff Ketchum from there with the only rule being that no winner can be declared until the other guy is dead and has shit himself on the canvas during his death rattle.

All the while, women and children can browse through the crowded and impromptu farmer's market and craft store pop-up.

Winners of the events get $10 Smoothie King gift cards. Coffee and kolaches will be graciously donated and provided by Mad Dog and Beans.

We're digging up and rolling out the bloated, std and weed-infested corpse of Bob Schneider to lead a reunion riff session with The Scabs and 311 to close things out.

Gear up, folks! We'll be posting a Sign Up Genie soon. SydneyCarton has already dusted off his track cleats from high school and claims that he finished 5th in state in the high jump his senior year and hasn't lost a step.

My sponsorship covers the IVs needed afterwards. Warning, the IVs will actually be filled with Tito’s and everyone needs to sign a medical waiver and DNR before competing. Good luck to all “athletes”! 

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RGBIII

RGBIII 22798

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1 hour ago, immamac said:

Holy fuck this would be the most incredible event. I'm going to see about 311 that will be the hardest part. 

I actually think the hardest part would be affording the donut budget for Ketch. I mean we could crowdsource but I’d imagine that would cost more than the SEZ at the end of the day

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LTtxfan

LTtxfan 48980

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Lobo said:

aren't the loge seats still technically outside?  In the heat?  Shade helps though.  

 

loge seats >> log seats ??

rustic-log-bench.jpg?s=lbx

 

Or log rolling loser have a seat -- Found an action shot of ctj and sydney...

j0s2qHu6MIok0SpOuDJTALRRhgssg=&risl=&pid

 

 

 

Edited by LTtxfan
typo
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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 18983

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3 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I don't wear shirts, sir, unless they're french-cuffed button downs fitting underneath a suit or blazer. Also, I believe that weak bastard does the Skoal pouch thing and there is pretty much as zero% chance that his wife would let him do that sitting next to her in public. 

This also reminds me that we can now set an official time for the opening ceremonies of the SurlyHorns Olympics-Boxing Matches-Farmers Market-Rap Battle-Free Closing Ceremony Concert starring The Scabs and 311-Experience on September 4th, at 9am, at the UT intramural fields.

@immamac has graciously volunteered to MC the entire thing while we've been able to secure sponsorship of the event from @Daichee Bell and @RGBIII's local businesses.

After immamac's opening monologue, we'll start the first event with a fat guy high jump and then move to the sprints, 40 yard, 100 yard, and then a 4x100 relay where the minimum weight of a participating sprinter can be no less than 235 pounds.

Then a celebrity fighting match between @GlenFromTheMailRoom and whichever random other poster he always loses his shit on. Title fight between me and Geoff Ketchum from there with the only rule being that no winner can be declared until the other guy is dead and has shit himself on the canvas during his death rattle.

All the while, women and children can browse through the crowded and impromptu farmer's market and craft store pop-up.

Winners of the events get $10 Smoothie King gift cards. Coffee and kolaches will be graciously donated and provided by Mad Dog and Beans.

We're digging up and rolling out the bloated, std and weed-infested corpse of Bob Schneider to lead a reunion riff session with The Scabs and 311 to close things out.

Gear up, folks! We'll be posting a Sign Up Genie soon. SydneyCarton has already dusted off his track cleats from high school and claims that he finished 5th in state in the high jump his senior year and hasn't lost a step.

I know a guy who would definitely sponsor this thing. Food. Trophy’s. Booze. Participant in the fat guy relay. Anchor man in the beer drinking Olympics. Etc. 

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Wulaw Horn

Wulaw Horn 18983

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, Ignatius said:

You keep using that word ‘free’; I don’t think it means what you think it means...

Maybe he means “available”. Or allowable. 
like- feel free to grab a beer. 
or- that beer is free to be drank by anyone who wants to. 
but probably it’s how he explains it to his wife bc that’s pure and unadulterated woman logic “sure this thing costs eleventy billion dollars but it’s a really good deal bc it was 20% off and comes with (fill in the blank item) free. 

Edited by Wulaw Horn
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TexArcher

TexArcher 37521

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Posted
32 minutes ago, TexasMan said:

I haven't seen a line on the game yet but OddsShark has Louisiana beating us 37-32 😥

 

A) Well, that's just like, ya know, their opinion, man.

B) Maybe we'll beat THEM by 5?!

C) Bijan will score more than 37 by himself.

D) Tom Herman ain't walking through that tunnel.

E) All of the above.

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Etexhorn13

Etexhorn13 3036

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I have a lot riding on this UL-UT game. All of my in-laws went to school at UL, and my wife did grad school there after Baylor, but I’ve always rooted for them as well. My FIL is the nicest guy in the world but also is very involved with UL athletics and the university in general, but primarily he’s involved in the athletics side. For the last several years he’s been nice enough while we both have been able to acknowledge UT football’s shortcomings, although he still roots for us weekly. He’s finally started to think he can talk shit about this game, so of course I’ve had to revert to 2000-2009 me and shit all over them.
 

Now my FIL and BIL will be at the game, so not only do we need to punish them for thinking they’d win but also for the uncharacteristic shit talking they’ve been doing. I’m not sure I can show my face in Lafayette again if we lose this game. It’s mudhole time, bitches. 

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ousux

ousux 5587

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Posted
Maybe he means “available”. Or allowable. 
like- feel free to grab a beer. 
or- that beer is free to be drank by anyone who wants to. 
but probably it’s how he explains it to his wife bc that’s pure and unadulterated woman logic “sure this thing costs eleventy billion dollars but it’s a really good deal bc it was 20% off and comes with (fill in the blank item) free. 
Oh fuck, it's not just mine I dont care how much you theoretically "saved" by spending all day shopping. Know what really saves money? Parking your ass in front of the tv watching football all day. Only have the replacement costs of beer and food..which I would consume anyway.
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Steamboat1874

Steamboat1874 4032

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Posted
14 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I'm looking forward to the 9/4 kickoff at 3:30. I'll be in loge suite in the SEZ with a fully stocked fridge, under shade, with monitors, and immediate access to free food and booze in an air-conditioned environment. I'll have myself a rye manhattan at kickoff and toast all you poor bastards on the west side, baking in the hot, hot sun.

There is some downside though, as I envision myself sitting directly above the goalposts and watching things unfold - my own version of Cousin Eddie, in my front yard emptying his RV shitter will be joining me - and by that I mean I'll be seated directly above or below @SydneyCarton. No one can have it all.

Is the sun setting in the east now?

Directions...how do they work?

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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Dude's such baller, he controls where the sun sets.  Mad respect, yo.  

I'm still not sure how the free booze thing works.  

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17391

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Posted
9 hours ago, Etexhorn13 said:

I have a lot riding on this UL-UT game. All of my in-laws went to school at UL, and my wife did grad school there after Baylor, but I’ve always rooted for them as well. My FIL is the nicest guy in the world but also is very involved with UL athletics and the university in general, but primarily he’s involved in the athletics side. For the last several years he’s been nice enough while we both have been able to acknowledge UT football’s shortcomings, although he still roots for us weekly. He’s finally started to think he can talk shit about this game, so of course I’ve had to revert to 2000-2009 me and shit all over them.
 

Now my FIL and BIL will be at the game, so not only do we need to punish them for thinking they’d win but also for the uncharacteristic shit talking they’ve been doing. I’m not sure I can show my face in Lafayette again if we lose this game. It’s mudhole time, bitches. 

As we get to game week, you need to start a thread and chronicle all their shit-talking and then the post-game gloriousness of rubbing their demise in their face, or the abject shame that you will have to feel and live with for years to come.

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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33 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Lots of good night games to show off our new specially built glowing longhorn I see. And keep us out of the worst of the heat. 

Lots?  I count one so far (Rice).  Kansas will likely be a night game on LHN, 6 or 7pm.  But not really worried about the November heat.  As you say though, glowing Longhorn will look cool for it at least.  Oklahoma State will likely be a primetime game, as they'll be 4-1 or 5-0.  But a Top 20 matchup between the two of us could just as easily go national at 11am on FS1/FOX or ABC.  I wouldn't hold my breath.  And LA-Lafayette, Tech, and KSU are going to be day games.  

 

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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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11 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Are you familiar with the concept of sarcasm?

I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.  I thought maybe you were being optimistic about there being more night games added.  Yeah, we'll probably only see the thing fired up 2x this season, but still cool. I'm sure it'll have some kinda daytime setting so you can still see the LED's come on for the pre-kickoff tunnel run during day games.  It'd be cool to have Bevo and his horns run out of there but I'm sure it's an insurance liability.....thanks a lot Bin Laden! 

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52342

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Posted (edited)

I figure we have more sway in our nonconference home games with tc times than we do with conference, especially when they are not premier matchups. And it’s 1/3.  I figure the September games are most likely to be 6pm games due to weather considerations, and we’re 1/3.  
 

Money gets us the new upgrades, then money ensures we don’t use the fan friendly portion of the upgrades very often. So it goes.  Hope sark enjoys his new office. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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stork642

stork642 4498

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Posted
12 hours ago, TexasMan said:

I haven't seen a line on the game yet but OddsShark has Louisiana beating us 37-32 😥

This may come off as over confidence but I’m convinced Louisiana will forfeit the game because they will be too skurd to even show their faces.  This is my most conservative opinion.  

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