Chelsea 2021-2022: TUCheL our balls, hoes

[morehornsepower 887]

1 minute ago, ztejas said:

The Haaland window ain't closed. I just think he wasn't ready to leave.

And listen, sweetheart, you know who the motherfuckin champions of Europe are right now? Not PSG. And all we did since was let our youngins get in another off-season and sign a big ole #9 whose wallet says bad motherfucker on it. 

I won't start this season with any hand wringing. We can do that when we look past some mid table PL side and blow a horrible road game. Or City racks off like 11 wins in their first 13. 

To steal the ancient Surly wisdom: The cut of your jib.  I like it.

[ztejas 43411]

2 minutes ago, morehornsepower said:

To steal the ancient Surly wisdom: The cut of your jib.  I like it.

I'm just speaking facts.

Our assets after this season could be nutty. Take someone like Pulisic - say he breaks out for 12 goals and 8 dimes and becomes more of a two-way player situationally. Love him to death but that's an $80M-$90M player all of a sudden. Same with guys like Mount and Werner. 

We will have the horses to reenter the Haaland sweeps next summer. 

Or maybe everyone gets injured and Tuchel gets binned and a meteor hits Stamford but hey, I ain't Nostradamus. 

[ztejas 43411]

Pretty B+ lineup

Chelsea: Mendy; Zouma, Chalobah, Rudiger; Hudson-Odoi, Kante, Kovacic, Alonso; Ziyech, Havertz; Werner. Subs: Kepa, Christensen, Jorginho, Thiago Silva, Abraham, Pulišić, Loftus-Cheek, Mount, Chilwell, James, Azpilicueta, Emerson.

Will be interesting to see who gets subbed on. I could see a few different things. Wonder if Abraham is even available pending a likely loan or transfer.

[ztejas 43411]

Chalobah development is interesting. 

[ztejas 43411]

I missed watching Kante. 

[ztejas 43411]

6 minutes ago, ztejas said:

I missed watching Kante. 

Yeahhhhh holy shit man

[ztejas 43411]

CHO having issues down that right side. 

[ztejas 43411]

Ziyech plays some wild balls.

[ztejas 43411]

3 minutes ago, ztejas said:

Ziyech plays some wild balls.

And puts some in the back. Man - hope he keeps this form rolling.

[MoJames 8244]

https://streamwo.com/jR64gbl

[ztejas 43411]

So uhhhh... what are we to win the PL (odds wise)? Because this isn't even our best XI. Villa is getting their ass beat. 

I mean this could easily be 3-0. 

Edited August 11, 2021 by ztejas

[ztejas 43411]

2 hours ago, ztejas said:

Or maybe everyone gets injured and Tuchel gets binned and a meteor hits Stamford but hey, I ain't Nostradamus. 

[RichUT 1832]

That has been coming for more than a minute. Very uninspiring play in the 2nd half.

What the fuck was Rudi even trying to do with that pass/clearance anyway?

[ztejas 43411]

Um... it isn't a clever ball when 2 guys are offsides by 5m. 

[ztejas 43411]

That was fucking brilliant by Puli and Mount kicked it straight out of bounds. Ffs.

[MoJames 8244]

22 minutes ago, RichUT said:

What the fuck was Rudi even trying to do with that pass/clearance anyway?

https://streamye.com/vk6D2UR

Watch how he does absolutely no tracking back on Moreno after the give away as well. Not going to get a top wage with this type of play.

[ztejas 43411]

Why the fuck is Mount playing wing and Pulisic playing AM?

[RichUT 1832]

If CP is going to wear the 10 shirt, he needs to put those chances in the back of the net. 

[ztejas 43411]

10 minutes ago, RichUT said:

If CP is going to wear the 10 shirt, he needs to put those chances in the back of the net. 

If he starts putting those in the back someone is buying him for 120.

[ztejas 43411]

Can't beleive I'm watching a penalty shootout and nervous about it for one of the dumbest trophies in soccer. And yet we'll get shit on if we don't win. 

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

Why did Kepa get a yellow?

[Horny Bull 2759]

Kepaaaaa

[MoJames 8244]

[ztejas 43411]

Just. Wow. Gonna need a sec. Quick thoughts:

1. God damn that was nails by Rudiger

2. Holy fuck Kepa. So sick on that 2nd pk. Sell him tomorrow. 

3. Pulisic not being in the top 5 is retarded. He's clearly a fucking machine at the spot. 

[TexArcher 37761]

4 hours ago, ztejas said:

Our assets after this season could be nutty. Take someone like Pulisic - say he breaks out for 12 goals and 8 dimes and becomes more of a two-way player situationally. Love him to death but that's an $80M-$90M player all of a sudden. Same with guys like Mount and Werner. 

We will have the horses to reenter the Haaland sweeps next summer. 

Werner can go with our blessing, but if we let Mount or Puli get away, I'm gonna be pissed.

[ztejas 43411]

Going forward with Ziyech out I think our best XI is:

 

                  Lukaku

          Mount, Havertz

Pulisic, Jorg, Kante, James

Chilwell, Dave, Silva, Christensen 

 

(I know that's 4 on the back line I feel like they're hard to separate before the next tier of Zouma, Rudiger, Chalobah. So 3/ those 4 on any given day)

 

 

 

Edited August 11, 2021 by ztejas

[ztejas 43411]

16 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

Werner can go with our blessing, but if we let Mount or Puli get away, I'm gonna be pissed.

Not sure how much Werner would fetch right now. I'm fine with him trying to back Lukaku.

[MoJames 8244]

6 minutes ago, ztejas said:

    Lukaku

          Mount, Havertz

Pulisic, Jorg, Kante, James

Chilwell, Dave, Silva, Christensen 

I don't think you see dave, chilly and james all on the pitch unless we have 3 CBs

[ztejas 43411]

5 minutes ago, MoJames said:

I don't think you see dave, chilly and james all on the pitch unless we have 3 CBs

I see James as a WB

Interestingly though - when the travel squad was released it had Pulisic listed as an attacker. So maybe he's more of an option for the top 3 spots. Which would lend credence to RJ perhaps playing that wing like I think he will (not trying to prove you wrong or anything just adding a data point). 

Edited August 11, 2021 by ztejas

[ztejas 43411]

On 6/2/2021 at 9:47 AM, ztejas said:

2X UEFA SUPERCUP WINNER

97/98, 20/21

Also... updated from the first post 

[TexArcher 37761]

1 hour ago, ztejas said:

Not sure how much Werner would fetch right now. I'm fine with him trying to back Lukaku.

Yeah, and if we're willing to sell him instead of play him as a second striker, it pretty much announces that we have no faith in him.  I guess we have to let him come off the bench and get some scrub starts this fall and see if he comes around.

[MoJames 8244]

Zapacosta being linked to Atalanta

 

[ztejas 43411]

15 hours ago, TexArcher said:

Yeah, and if we're willing to sell him instead of play him as a second striker, it pretty much announces that we have no faith in him.  I guess we have to let him come off the bench and get some scrub starts this fall and see if he comes around.

I'd love to loan Werner or Pulisic for a spell (maybe CHO too) but unfortunately the Ziyech injury kind of shows why you don't do that. Our depth is kind of a blessing and a curse. It is good insurance but it also makes for awkward lineups and happenings like Pulisic playing 17 fucking positions since he's gotten here and Werner probably getting too much PT simply because we had no one else that could stretch opposing back lines the way he can.

Just kind of riffing. Here's hoping Lukaku can solve some of our issues with finishing chances.

[MoJames 8244]

Tough go after Crystal Palace (with CP not exactly being an easy win)

[ztejas 43411]

1 minute ago, MoJames said:

Tough go after Crystal Palace (with CP not exactly being an easy win)

Yeah I'm not sure we ever really broke out the schedule on here. I noticed them giving us Arsenal 2nd on the road when it came out. Weird how I'm more worried about that one than Pool the following week.

[TexArcher 37761]

Yeah, I told my dad it looks like John Terry banged the scheduler's wife (again?)

[MoJames 8244]

Posted on the transfer thread by texifornia

[Longhornfan1024 1707]

I wonder if Tammy still wants to go to Arsenal.

[MoJames 8244]

35 minutes ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

I wonder if Tammy still wants to go to Arsenal.

You are assuming he ever wanted to.

[Doug E. Fresh 452]

No Lukaku tomorrow. That’s a bummer

[MoJames 8244]

No Lukaku tomorrow. That’s a bummer

Yup COVID stuff I believe. First game will be vs Arsenal.

[ztejas 43411]

11 hours ago, Longhornfan1024 said:

I wonder if Tammy still wants to go to Arsenal.

Idk. He's tall. They could use a decent CB. 

[ztejas 43411]

Pulisic wing back experiment may be over. 

Please get Lukaku on the pitch... the lack of finishing in that front 3 is not great.

[ztejas 43411]

How many roosters should I bloodlet in my backyard to get an early goal on the board so we don't sweat 3 points for a full 90 against fucking CP? Because that's exactly what we're about to do.

[TexArcher 37761]

Happy opening day, you beautiful blue bastards.

Let's win the league, yeah?

[Horny Bull 2759]

Lets get it.

[ztejas 43411]

Tuchel dresses like a silicon valley billionaire. It's like he just opens a drawer and grabs whatever's sitting in there. 

[TexArcher 37761]

Fuck Paycock.

Who's got a good stream?

 

[ztejas 43411]

3 minutes ago, TexArcher said:

Fuck Paycock.

Who's got a good stream?

 

https://reddt1.soccerstreams.net/event/chelsea-crystal-palace-live-stream/672751

I ponied up the 5 for the cock. So far stream is awesome but I won't make you give in. 

[ztejas 43411]

These are some bus parking assholes aren't they? 

Great effort by Zo (is that a thing? Fuck it) and Puli there.