2022 Transfer Thread - It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

[BrazilHorn 6,633]

 

2 hours ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

Fitness, via Apple Watch, is part of Apple's branding not Amazon or Disney's.  How can Peloton be integrated with Apple Watch fitness and what would the ROI be are the questions for Apple.  Nike producing daily interactive streaming content would be way outside their traditional apparel and sporting goods. 

It isn't always a pure ROI play for large companies sitting on a shit ton of cash. Typically shareholders want you to do one of three things with that money:

Dividend/Stock Buy Back to pay the shareholders of record back/prop up share price

R&D Investment - spend money on future cool shit that can provide more shareholder returns down the line

Buy something - show inorganic revenue growth, add some more cool shit for you to sell/brand etc

Apple has like 200B in cash right now, Peloton's Market Cap is $12B, Apple buying Peloton, even if they paid current full price or a 25% premium would be couch cushion money for them. You are talking using 7.5% of Apple's Cash to buy Peloton at $15B. They make pretty much jack shit on holding that cash in terms of interest back to shareholder's.

I am not advocating for a Peloton purchase as I think they are fucked to a large degree but  they could do it without a second thought. It would be a harder pull for Nike as they only have ~$15B in cash and short term equivalents (easily converted to cash) of which ~$10B is in cash. They would have to do some stuff to swing the deal or get Peloton shareholder's to agree that the sky is falling and maybe take a $6B offer.

I am not an M&A guy at all but do work for a large company that buys a lot of other companies and get dragged into these types of conversations from time to time.

Doing something when you are sitting on a shitload of cash is a constant issue especially as people aren't really allowing for the "but Covid" excuse around using billions of cash that are sitting there not doing dick.

[quigley 1,563]

38 minutes ago, Constant said:

Ha, he 100% had communication with players still at OU that never entered the portal. 

I'm no doubting this, but out of curiosity, who did Riley try to poach?

 

 

15 minutes ago, Tex Pete said:

 Is that like when OU recruited Baker Mayfield from Texas Tech?

HA!!! The Savior Trevor Knight had just carved up Bama (32/44 for 348 4 td, 1 int) and OU had just signed their top choice for high school QBs (Justice Hansen, who turned out to be great...for Arkansas St).

Mayfield, a guy who gone for 12 tds, 9 int and been benched at Tech, was on no ones wish list.

[Tex Pete 20,468]

18 minutes ago, quigley said:

Mayfield, a guy who gone for 12 tds, 9 int and been benched at Tech, was on no ones wish list.

Yet OU tampered anyway. 

[Dbeasy 15,091]

1 hour ago, Scholz said:

Es pretty good

Is it pretty good? What if I told you Bevo is an 11 year old girl in real life?

[Constant 6,755]

42 minutes ago, quigley said:

I'm no doubting this, but out of curiosity, who did Riley try to poach?

 

 

HA!!! The Savior Trevor Knight had just carved up Bama (32/44 for 348 4 td, 1 int) and OU had just signed their top choice for high school QBs (Justice Hansen, who turned out to be great...for Arkansas St).

Mayfield, a guy who gone for 12 tds, 9 int and been benched at Tech, was on no ones wish list.

He/Simmons contacted Mims about coming over. He also has tried to convince the rest of the northeast guys that went to OU with/because of Williams(Harmon, Gilliam, Farooq).

Edited February 8, 2022 by Constant

[Bevo 13,600]

13 minutes ago, Dbeasy said:

Is it pretty good? What if I told you Bevo is an 11 year old girl in real life?

[Sgt Hulk 13,838]

19 hours ago, ATXbronco said:

Gave up beer two years ago.

I'm on a long-term diet, man.  
I say long-term because after two years I've only lost 33lbs.  

From 220lbs to 187lbs.  

Been hovering at 187-188 for two weeks now.  arghh.

But it was a nice, sudden drop from 192-194lbs.

 

I learned how to drink hard liquor from an Armenian (shout out to a semi-Armenian Sarkisian) and that was Stoli vodka.

And by learn, I mean I learned how to out-drink everybody.

So, it being low carb, I now drink nothing but Stoli.  I'll mix it with some other low carb stuff when I drink, which is only like once a week anymore.

Borrrringggggg

 

diets suck ass.

getting healthier is kinda cool though.

So you pee sitting down?

[UDontKnow 10,448]

6 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

So you pee sitting down?

Have you no sympathy for those experiencing difficulty peeing due to an enlarged prostate? Squatting is essential to overpower urethral constriction.

Edited February 9, 2022 by UDontKnow

[RabidM 2,668]

34 minutes ago, Constant said:

He/Simmons contacted Mims about coming over. He also has tried to convince the rest of the northeast guys that went to OU with/because of Williams(Harmon, Gilliam, Farooq).

Well, if you think you can convince this community of people that Riley is a hypocritical douchebag, you've got one hell of a tough road in front of you....   /coughs  /looks around 

Edited February 9, 2022 by RabidM

[Constant 6,755]

16 minutes ago, RabidM said:

Well, if you think you can convince this community of people that Riley is a hypocritical douchebag, you've got one hell of a tough road in front of you....   /coughs  /looks around 

Hey, he was able to convince coworkers and coordinate complete life changes for 5-6 families after bedlam and before breakfast. 

[ATXbronco 4,088]

48 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

So you pee sitting down?

Only after sex with your Mom

Edited February 9, 2022 by ATXbronco

[ousux 5,602]

 
Right, now.
‘Beats’ was an incredibly shitty line of headphones developed by Monster cables, then they got Dr. Dre to pretend to have something to do with the audio when he just sold them his name and said what he liked and didn’t about a few pair of prototypes. Beats were shit but fuck it “we legit” now and sales exploded. Dre then double dealt Monster by making a deal with Apple in the Billions which almost got cancelled because dipshit went on insta and announced it drunk with a buddy despite Apples strict insistence on secrecy. Oops. So now Apple sells Dre ‘Beats’ headphones which are still absolute shit and Dre is fighting over his money with his soon to be ex-wife because Dre didn’t get a prenup- in fucking CA.

They even conned VW into dropping the superior Fender sound for beats audio in some of their cars. Every review I've seen says it's a definite downgrade...even though Fender only makes amps and guitars.

[Vertigo 20,332]

18 minutes ago, Constant said:

Hey, he was able to convince coworkers and coordinate complete life changes for 5-6 families after bedlam and before breakfast. 

I can see the NCAA panel investigation now:

NCAA: Lincoln, what are these meetings on your calendar that are marked Cali Crew?

Lincoln: Those were for a new restaurant I was starting. 

NCAA: Yes, but why did you only invite a select number of coaches and players?

Lincoln: Market research.. It was top secret. We even burned the notes in a smoker, but they didn't burn all the way and so I had to just lock it in a garage and hope for the best. 

NCAA: But the notes had enrollment paperwork for USC.

Lincoln: That is purely circumstantial. I have enrollment paperwork to every school sir. 

NCAA: There is also a picture of Raleek Brown with a USC song girl prior to your announcement. 

Lincoln: That is a man sir.. we live in a brave new world. Raleek has a type. 

NCAA: But we also have recordings of your DB coach recruiting players for USC on road trips while employed at OU.

Lincoln: He was just mentioning how OU was the USC of the dust bowl.  

 

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

1 hour ago, UDontKnow said:

Have you no sympathy for those experiencing difficulty peeing due to an enlarged prostate? Squatting is essential to overpower urethral constriction.

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

Edited February 9, 2022 by Doc Reeves

[SydneyCarton 48,169]

8 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

Jimbo Fisher, apparently. 

[IDIOTsavant 8,502]

45 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

Lincoln: Market research.. It was top secret. We even burned the notes in a smoker, but they didn't burn all the way and so I had to just lock it in a garage and hope for the best. 

You lost me here. I’ve unfortunately seen his brisket.

Edited February 9, 2022 by IDIOTsavant
Typo

[CptnJiggleBits 931]

12 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

Me eating dinner and reading this.

[quigley 1,563]

2 hours ago, Constant said:

He/Simmons contacted Mims about coming over. He also has tried to convince the rest of the northeast guys that went to OU with/because of Williams(Harmon, Gilliam, Farooq).

Thanks. Is there documentation of this publicly?

[closetojumping 62,861]

44 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

Doc, I like you and everything, but holy fucking shit. We didn’t need that one. 

[FunkSoulBrother 931]

1 hour ago, Doc Reeves said:

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

17 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Doc, I like you and everything, but holy fucking shit. We didn’t need that one. 

 

Yeah, yeah. I get it. It was pretty hard to take at the time too.

The only thing that made it better- for me at least, was that I got to tell that exact story to fucking everyone we met, were with and girls whenever we were out for 2 fucking years strait. Few things in life have called me to be as diligent, but I made sure that bitch heard about how fucking stupid he was for 700 days at least.

Learing a lesson at someone else’s expense. Literally priceless. 

[NTVTXN 1,432]

38 minutes ago, CptnJiggleBits said:

Me eating dinner and reading this.

 

21 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

Doc, I like you and everything, but holy fucking shit. We didn’t need that one. 

Y’all ever get that thought of “I should stop right, here” but you keep on reading? 
Yeah, I just got that exact thought when I saw his post.  And damned if didn’t just keep reading. And now I’m really sorry I did. 

[Bevo14 8,375]

1 hour ago, Doc Reeves said:

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

[MuellerHorn 4,294]

1 hour ago, Doc Reeves said:

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

[Hornlover 8,831]

11 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

Yeah, yeah. I get it. It was pretty hard to take at the time too.

The only thing that made it better- for me at least, was that I got to tell that exact story to fucking everyone we met, were with and girls whenever we were out for 2 fucking years strait. Few things in life have called me to be as diligent, but I made sure that bitch heard about how fucking stupid he was for 700 days at least.

Learing a lesson at someone else’s expense. Literally priceless. 

Which lesson was that? Don't bang high school girls with belly button piercings if your dick is pierced? Or are you just extra diligent about keeping the hooks and sinkers separate in your tackle box?

Edited February 9, 2022 by Hornlover

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

1 minute ago, Hornlover said:

Which lesson was that? Don't bang high school girls with belly button piercings if your dick is pierced? Or are you just extra diligent about keeping the hooks and sinkers separate in your tackle box?

 

The lesson? Buddy. It’s: Watch your dick.

Solid lesson.

[RollLeft 5,045]

[LarryMoeSurly 411]

Yeah I feel bad for him and all, but had to stop reading in the middle of the second paragraph. Holy shit. 

[Redneck Mutha 8,007]

1 hour ago, Doc Reeves said:

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

4 minutes ago, LarryMoeSurly said:

Yeah I feel bad for him and all, but had to stop reading in the middle of the second paragraph. Holy shit. 

Yeah, it horrific at first. 
 

Then, 6 mos later you forget while drinking and whilst you’re pissing in the alleyway between Red River and 4th you get hit by one of your buddies miniature, 90 degree streams of piss. 

Christian sympathy runs out mighty quick at 2am

[UDontKnow 10,448]

11 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

Yeah, it horrific at first. 
 

Then, 6 mos later you forget while drinking and whilst you’re pissing in the alleyway between Red River and 4th you get hit by one of your buddies miniature, 90 degree streams of piss. 

Christian sympathy runs out mighty quick at 2am

Your friend didn't know that you weren't into water sports at 2 AM?

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

You know I gotta be honest, I really didn’t think this story would get so much play. When it comes to this friend, this story is like the opening running written setup story in Star Wars. You wouldn’t believe his adventures 

Edited February 9, 2022 by Doc Reeves

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

8 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

Your friend didn't know that you weren't into water sports at 2 AM?

You ever try and water a potted plant with a hose that’s end has been blown off off with buck shot? 

[UDontKnow 10,448]

Just now, Doc Reeves said:

You ever try and water a potted plant with a hose that’s end has been blown off off with buck shot? 

That's not what I meant by water sports (clinical term: urophilia). But to answer your question, no I have not found myself in the scenario you described and I hope it stays that way.

[Cairn Horn88 8,283]

But is it worse that getting your scrotum caught in your zipper?

[NorLa Horns 1,458]

7 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

You know I gotta be honest, I really didn’t think this story would get so much play. When it comes to this friend, this story is like the opening running written setup story in Star Wars. You wouldn’t believe it.

Had a buddy fell from a height at a construction site. Caught the boys on a hook. I didnt ask any questions past that. But after, he could piss over a van. A full size van. It was....something to see. 

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

2 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

That's not what I meant by water sports (clinical term: urophilia). But to answer your question, no I have not found myself in the scenario you described and I hope it stays that way.

No I got you. I was just saying if you liked being pissed on because that happened to be your thing, he definitely wouldn’t have been your go to. 
 

Also and surprisingly, he absolutely killed the strange.

[futureman 22,544]

4 minutes ago, NorLa Horns said:

Had a buddy fell from a height at a construction site. Caught the boys on a hook. I didnt ask any questions past that. But after, he could piss over a van. A full size van. It was....something to see. 

 

[Vertigo 20,332]

23 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

You know I gotta be honest, I really didn’t think this story would get so much play. When it comes to this friend, this story is like the opening running written setup story in Star Wars. You wouldn’t believe his adventures 

[ATXbronco 4,088]

When I was young I knew a kid who approach a pissed off horse from the wrong direction.

Got a hoof right in the gonads. 

Many stitches were required.

I bet that happens fairly often around College Station?

 

Same kid was also known to have been playing with his balls one day, twisting them around and around (I didn't know you could do it more than once, not that I've tried).

They got stuck!
The E.R. probably still tells legendary stories about that kid to this day.

 

[UDontKnow 10,448]

2 minutes ago, ATXbronco said:

Same kid was also known to have been playing with his balls one day, twisting them around and around (I didn't know you could do it more than once, not that I've tried).

They got stuck!
The E.R. probably still tells legendary stories about that kid to this day.

 

That sounds like testicular torsion and it's actually a bit more common that you might think.

https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/torsion.html

[Pato del Muerto 52,596]

What the fuck is going on with the transfer thread?  I had to scroll up to see which thread I had to ask about. 

[ATXbronco 4,088]

I ain't clicking that link!!

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

5 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

What the fuck is going on with the transfer thread?  I had to scroll up to see which thread I had to ask about. 

[TXRed 3,291]

3 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb

[Treefidy 1,469]

1 hour ago, Cairn Horn88 said:

But is it worse that getting your scrotum caught in your zipper?

Zipper?  Hell, the kid down the street caught his sack in between the Chan and his crank sprocket when we were jumping curbs in 2nd grade.  He didnt have a free wheel so he was completely fucked.  His older sister spun the pedals forward and ran it all the way through, definitely hurt his pride more than any lasting damage but it sure traumatized me seeing that shit.  
 

[ousux 5,602]

That sounds like testicular torsion and it's actually a bit more common that you might think.
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/torsion.html

As if the overly graphic split dick story wasnt enough, now you gotta post a link to ball twisting?

Think I'd like to jump in the portal now.

[stork642 4,498]

4 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

Yeah, yeah. I get it. It was pretty hard to take at the time too.

The only thing that made it better- for me at least, was that I got to tell that exact story to fucking everyone we met, were with and girls whenever we were out for 2 fucking years strait. Few things in life have called me to be as diligent, but I made sure that bitch heard about how fucking stupid he was for 700 days at least.

Learing a lesson at someone else’s expense. Literally priceless. 

So bad decisions have bad consequences.  Noted. 

[Hook1997 5,400]

12 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

Well…

 

My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.

Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.

 

Wait. What were talking about??

What’s the update on this guy with 7 junk piercings in high school, is he actually alive still?

[BornOrange 1,441]

10 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

You know I gotta be honest, I really didn’t think this story would get so much play. When it comes to this friend, this story is like the opening running written setup story in Star Wars. You wouldn’t believe his adventures 

 

10 hours ago, Vertigo said:

And now we know who the friend is.

8 hours ago, ousux said:

As if the overly graphic split dick story wasnt enough, now you gotta post a link to ball twisting?

Think I'd like to jump in the portal now.

And now we know who is bold/degenerate enough to click on the link.