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2022 Transfer Thread - It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)

closetojumping

By closetojumping
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Mr Shrimp Unlimited
Mr Shrimp Unlimited

God fucking damnit motherfucker. I've been happily lurking on this board for years but your disgusting fucking verbal flatulence about "but but but he's winner and he hurt his thumb :(" have forced me

closetojumping
closetojumping

Texas and Oregon put the CFB world on tilt with their respective NIL efforts. Many alumni bases are reacting pragmatically and trying to build something competitive of their own that fits their specif

immamac
immamac

Color me surprised that people promising NIL as enticement have not followed through at all and those who have done everything by the book have set expectations that will be met.  It's almost lik

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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

Posted
Posted (edited)
41 minutes ago, Hook1997 said:

What’s the update on this guy with 7 junk piercings in high school, is he actually alive still?

 

Yup. He sure tried like hell to not be tho. 

Well, ‘alive’ is relative. Lives in Orange last I saw.

 

Edited by Doc Reeves
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Sgt Hulk

Sgt Hulk 14471

Posted
Posted
Well…
 
My buddy in HS worked in a piercing shop so had bunch of piercings that were a bit extreme including a 16 gauge bull ring center chest bellow his collarbone and 7 in his junk.
One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. It ripped that motherfucker out. Bitch had to wee sitting down for 2 years until he finally told his mom. Literally caught crabs from 6th street because of this. Couldn’t wee standing up without plugging his cock or it was like a watering can.
Turns out there’s a genetic disorder where the penis shaft doesn’t close properly in the womb, so there are money surgeons in Houston who dealt with his problem. $8500 later he had a cock that was good as new.
 
Wait. What were talking about??

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Sgt Hulk

Sgt Hulk 14471

Posted
Posted
Zipper?  Hell, the kid down the street caught his sack in between the Chan and his crank sprocket when we were jumping curbs in 2nd grade.  He didnt have a free wheel so he was completely fucked.  His older sister spun the pedals forward and ran it all the way through, definitely hurt his pride more than any lasting damage but it sure traumatized me seeing that shit.  
 

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Sgt Hulk

Sgt Hulk 14471

Posted
Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, UDontKnow said:
That sounds like testicular torsion and it's actually a bit more common that you might think.
https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/torsion.html


I clicked it. I also found my next troll screen name on sec rant.

Most cases of testicular torsion affect guys who have a condition called a [b]bell clapper deformity[/b]

Edited by Sgt Hulk
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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Bevo14 said:

Or we can throw @Doc Reeves in the portal towards Norman. I'm guessing they'd be into mutilated cock and ball stories.


Hey, ‘mutilated’ is a bit strong. He had a bionic dick after his surgery and 0 scars if you can believe it. After college we got together and I met his new long time gf and when I started giving him shit about it, she was just shocked. Had no idea about anything and it was right in her back yard (so to speak)

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ousux

ousux 5649

Posted
Posted

I clicked it. I also found my next troll screen name on sec rant.

Most cases of testicular torsion affect guys who have a condition called a bell clapper deformity
I'm starting a pop-punk band simply so I can use "Testicular Torsion" as a name..

Who's with me? Instrument proficiency not a prerequisite.
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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

Posted
Posted (edited)
57 minutes ago, Bevo said:

YARN | - You barely looked at it. - It's a good-looking dick, Peter. | Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) | Video gifs by quotes | eb05a0fa | 紗


In not going to post any more non-sports stuff from here on out, but I just gotta say first that I really don’t think that Dr. thinks Peters dick is all that great.  People gasp when they see an incredible dick. Well, at least that’s been my experience.

 

Edited by Doc Reeves
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MIkeHoncho

MIkeHoncho 2106

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert.

can we get a Thujone diagram of this?  Unless it was like an 8 inch belly button ring, how the fuck did it get caught on his PA while she was sliding off?  Had to be some other weird shenanigans going on.  Where was the monkey during this?  Was a doctor of the neighborhood called? 

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 53606

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, MIkeHoncho said:

can we get a Thujone diagram of this?  Unless it was like an 8 inch belly button ring, how the fuck did it get caught on his PA while she was sliding off?  Had to be some other weird shenanigans going on.  Where was the monkey during this?  Was a doctor of the neighborhood called? 

We’re you around for the worst sexual experiences in ms paint thread?

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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, MIkeHoncho said:

can we get a Thujone diagram of this?  Unless it was like an 8 inch belly button ring, how the fuck did it get caught on his PA while she was sliding off?  Had to be some other weird shenanigans going on.  Where was the monkey during this?  Was a doctor of the neighborhood called? 

For the sake of Truth, i will describe what happened.  

Spoiler

Gf was on top, cowgirl. Noticed time, hopped off. Slid down slightly so they were face to face and they talked about hanging out later. GF finished with “ok cool” and hopped off with some force since she was starting to hurry and get ready. PeePee and bellybutton were not done talking.

 

 

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JesusSweatDuck

JesusSweatDuck 18170

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Doc Reeves said:

For the sake of Truth, i will describe what happened.  

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Gf was on top, cowgirl. Noticed time, hopped off. Slid down slightly so they were face to face and they talked about hanging out later. GF finished with “ok cool” and hopped off with some force since she was starting to hurry and get ready. PeePee and bellybutton were not done talking.

 

 

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Horn Dog

Horn Dog 10188

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

One day while he was nailing his HS gf, they looked at the time and realize she was late for work. She hopped off his d but her belly button ring caught his Prince Albert. 

If your buddy was nailing his GF and she was checking the time and worried about being late for her high school job, your buddy is a terrible lay.

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