Airplane Etiquette Thread

[Biff Tannen 45691]

On 7/6/2021 at 5:22 PM, burns_312 said:

Western KS to central SD.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Surprised you’re not just taking the people train outta Stubbville. 

[South Austin 52521]

7 hours ago, Biff Tannen said:

Surprised you’re not just taking the people train outta Stubbville. 

[956 Worldwide 34718]

7 hours ago, CooterBrown said:

I did ask to change on my last flight. Booked two Comfort+ seats, side by side, on Delta. I was flying with just my 8 YO in tow. Those fuckers split our seats on both legs going to USVI. First leg wasn’t a problem since we were given aisle seats next to each other. But on the second leg, they put us 8 aisles apart. WTF. I didn’t notice it on check in because I upgraded in order to pick my seats. why did I upgrade to select my seats if you’re not going to honor it? And is your system too stupid to recognize one passenger was a child?

Wait, you paid for seat selection, got online and selected seats, then they split you up anyway? 
 

Airlines don’t have to seat kids together with parents and will split them up all the time. Congress even told DOT to change that and Trump’s DOT refused to write a rule to implement, instead they just put guidance up on the DOT website on how to maximize chances.

They love to split up groups, because that’s a way to really encourage people to pay extra fees. 

[Lat22 4015]

8 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

On airplanes, I find that since we are all so close and can’t go anywhere, you should pass the time by talking. But some people are nervous so I always break the ice.

So the guy on a laptop, he really likes his work and it’s important to him. So I ask a lot of questions about his job and what he’s working on. Or if I see a lady is flying alone with kids, I ask her where her husband is and why he’s not on the trip.  And if someone looks like they might not be American or speak good English, I make sure to repeat all the safety announcements real slow and loud so they understand, then give them a little pop quiz on what to do if we crash— just to make sure they feel safe.

You have to notice the small things about people, meet them where they are so to speak. 

All due respect, I'd rather sit next to a fatty than you.  😄

[CooterBrown 18015]

Wait, you paid for seat selection, got online and selected seats, then they split you up anyway? 
 
Airlines don’t have to seat kids together with parents and will split them up all the time. Congress even told DOT to change that and Trump’s DOT refused to write a rule to implement, instead they just put guidance up on the DOT website on how to maximize chances.
They love to split up groups, because that’s a way to really encourage people to pay extra fees. 

Exactly. I always upgrade in order to pick seats and did so about 4 months in advance. I’d never had that happen before on Delta. They also split up our four seats on the way back (my wife and older daughter had gone out earlier). However, only one seat was moved so I just sat there.

[smuggs 9353]

On 7/6/2021 at 12:10 PM, RDCanecutter said:

When I sit next to Intently-Working-On-A-Laptop Guy, I figure, now there's a feller who's stressed, he could use a little levity. So I ask him if he's seen some funny computer videos, like that boy who likes turtles, or maybe that squirrel that turns around all dramatic-like.

CSB - One time around 99-00' I was in the middle seat between a woman at the window and dude on the aisle. This was pre-ipod/iphone so I had all of my music loaded on my work laptop. After takeoff I pulled my laptop out and cranked it on the tray table, then was fishing around in my laptop bag for my earbuds not paying attention to the screen. What I didn't realize was that unbeknownst to me, my work buddies had hijacked my laptop and changed my bios so that upon boot up, my wallpaper was changed to a jpeg called "The Beard": a rather heinous snapshot of a woman spread eagle with a vast, Amazonian bush stretching from mid-thigh to navel.

That image sat on my screen in full view of my row mates for a full 20-30 seconds until I finally found my earbuds in the bag that was down between my feet and I looked up to realize what was going on. The lady next to me was looking out the window so I'm not sure she saw it but I know the dude on the aisle did. He didn't say shit and I flew the whole way from LAX to AUS with a closed laptop wondering if airport security was going to meet me at the gate. 

 

[Brew 3049]

11 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

This, it's pretty basic. No means no, stfu about it.

And never sit in the goddamn person's seat before you ask! That's an instant no if I see someone already presumptively occupying my seat. Wait until they arrive to their seat, and ask before they get all stowed and settled in.

I've been on both sides of this - follow the rules above and unless I'm next to family I'll usually swap. There are times where I've NOT been asked but clearly seen a couple get split up next to me and offered my seat to them so they could sit together. There have been plenty of times where I couldn't select seats next to family where I was the one asking.

In general, be respectful and respectable, and others are usually the same in return. I'm probably 90% success rate asking, but I follow the rules above and am always offering a better seat.

Was booking flights to fly with my two kids back home for a camp they have and all of the available seats were middle or someone had booked the window on one side and the aisle on the other side. I ended up finding a different flight where we could all sit together rather than deal with it at the airport or on the plane.  

If I don’t fly first, i book aisle or I find a different flight. I don’t have the patience to deal with middle/window seating and I want to stretch my legs on occasion. I’ve always just found the closest aisle seat to the front with a window already booked rather than book the aisle on an empty row though, why jump in a new row when the exact seating arrangement I shoot for is available already.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

On 7/6/2021 at 5:35 PM, BearSchlong said:

Normally I am friendly AF, and love talking to strangers, even on airplanes, and I love dogs.

But one day I was in a monumentally anti-social bad mood. SWA boarding group A1.  Sat down on the first row bulkhead aisle seat, headphones on, eyes closed. At some point someone took the window seat but didn't disturb me.

Then the last guy to board was a overly talkative older guy with a dog that wasn't on a leash or in a carrier.  I shit you not, I had seen him in the terminal and made the mental note to avoid him and doggo. I gave him that look.

He says "you don't mind if i sit here, do you. . .ok, haha haha hahah guess not" and visibly recoiled a little bit, and he and the dog moved on to find another seat.

I almost apologized, but I was awestruck at how a guy gets through security and on a plane with a dog without a leash or carrier.

edit - especially having an unrestrained dog in the bulkhead row, just seems kinda weird, right?

Did he store it in the over head compartment at least ?

[Braff Zacklin 13625]

On 7/6/2021 at 8:43 AM, 956 Worldwide said:

The woman (no pics needed) next to me at the window tells me “why don’t you go sit in that other aisle seat with your family and let me have these two.”

She asks the stewardess to move me, that’s a no from the stewardess. No, she doesn’t want to be any farther back on the plane. “You should have to sit with your family and let me have these two seats.”

Anyway she huffed and puffed and out of spite stayed in the window instead of walking her ass a couple rows back.

[Wally Pryor 5261]

On 7/6/2021 at 9:43 AM, 956 Worldwide said:

Not mask related. Wear the damn mask if you’re asked. Anyway, curious on who is the asshole here, beside me as a general rule. 

We (family of 4) flew transatlantic yesterday and a fellow passenger got salty with us.  Seating configuration was 2-4-2 across in economy since we are not surly 1%. I selected seats and grabbed 1 aisle seat, then three right across that aisle. The reasoning is simple: at times of not full flights, the last seats to be selected are usually single seats next to already occupied seats. We up our chances of getting at least one empty in our row. Kids are at an age they mostly entertain themselves with movies and iPad but do need intervention for water, snacks, every now and then.

Sure enough— we have an empty, the last aisle seat on that middle row. The woman (no pics needed) next to me at the window tells me “why don’t you go sit in that other aisle seat with your family and let me have these two.” Nah, I am happy on the aisle, if that other seat stays empty my kids and wife can spread out some.

 She asks the stewardess to move me, that’s a no from the stewardess. I point out that there are multiple empty window-aisle pairs farther back on the plane. She can grab one of them after takeoff. No, she doesn’t want to be any farther back on the plane. “You should have to sit with your family and let me have these two seats.”

Sorry, but no. She chose that seat knowing it was occupied, she can go spread out on a different aisle if she wants. But l am with my family, this worked out exactly as I hoped, I am remaining in the seats we selected. 
 

Anyway she huffed and puffed and out of spite stayed in the window instead of walking her ass a couple rows back.  Whatever, I was fine with that. 

 

Repped simply for saying "stewardess".   Multiple times. 

 

[midtown 3346]

55 minutes ago, smuggs said:

"The Beard": a rather heinous snapshot of a woman spread eagle with a vast, Amazonian bush stretching from mid-thigh to navel.

[Johnny Sack 8397]

On 7/6/2021 at 10:20 AM, Zepol87 said:

 What the fuck? I have never even thought of asking another passenger to move seats, is that a thing?

I have done it.  But only if I am trading a better seat for their seat.  Several times I have traded my upgraded first class seat to sit by my wife.  Every time the person has been very happy.

Again, you never offer anything when asking for a trade that is not equal or better.  It is a dick move.  And even if what you are offering is better, if the person does not want to move after you ask then STFU.

 

[midtown 3346]

11 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

Several times I have traded my upgraded first class seat to sit by my wife. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

13 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:

I have done it.  But only if I am trading a better seat for their seat.  Several times I have traded my upgraded first class seat to sit by my wife.  Every time the person has been very happy.

Again, you never offer anything when asking for a trade that is not equal or better.  It is a dick move.  And even if what you are offering is better, if the person does not want to move after you ask then STFU.

 

Have you offered to switch wives ?

[Johnny Sack 8397]

2 minutes ago, midtown said:

For some reason she likes to sit next to me on a plane. Believe me, I am silently hoping the person refuses.

I only fly first for work, and that is probably 90 percent of my travel.

[Chewbacca 7780]

15 hours ago, Sam Lin said:

and I am always offering a better seat.

This is the key that these asshats don't get.  I specifically booked this seat because i wanted it and in many cases, I paid extra for this seat.  Not switching to your back of the bus middle seat just because you didn't plan ahead, sorry.

[Brisketexan 105159]

5 hours ago, smuggs said:

What I didn't realize was that unbeknownst to me, my work buddies had hijacked my laptop and changed my bios so that upon boot up, my wallpaper was changed to a jpeg called "The Beard": a rather heinous snapshot of a woman spread eagle with a vast, Amazonian bush stretching from mid-thigh to navel.

"unbeknownst to me"

"my work buddies"

And y'all say that Surly posters are no good at writing fiction.

[Pato del Muerto 52529]

I find that I rarely realize things that are unbeknownst to me. 

[smuggs 9353]

31 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

"unbeknownst to me"

"my work buddies"

And y'all say that Surly posters are no good at writing fiction.

I have searched in vain for years for that photo. If I can ever find it again I am going to have t-shirts made and stealthily delivered to all of those dirty bastards.

[Gatorubet 30246]

 
Repped simply for saying "stewardess".   Multiple times. 
 

[FartingMonk 3608]

QI just flew and the dude next to me was wearing a tank top.  Each time he would stretch he just reeked of bad BO.  When it came time to get off the plane he planned to bum rush to the front but United has a new policy where they call you by row.  He started bitching rather loudly that he has flown over a hundred times n d will never fly united again because of this

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

12 minutes ago, FartingMonk said:

QI just flew and the dude next to me was wearing a tank top.  Each time he would stretch he just reeked of bad BO.  When it came time to get off the plane he planned to bum rush to the front but United has a new policy where they call you by row.  He started bitching rather loudly that he has flown over a hundred times n d will never fly united again because of this

flip flops too I bet

[Pato del Muerto 52529]

12 minutes ago, FartingMonk said:

QI just flew and the dude next to me was wearing a tank top.  Each time he would stretch he just reeked of bad BO.  When it came time to get off the plane he planned to bum rush to the front but United has a new policy where they call you by row.  He started bitching rather loudly that he has flown over a hundred times n d will never fly united again because of this

I was at the denver airport in April changing planes and got lucky enough to be walking down a terminal as a short guy that looked a little like don johnson in tin cup was bitching up a storm about something, I assume related to his not having a mask on.  Airline employees were just looking at him. He ended up walking near me for a few gates hollering loudly how he’s flown all over the world and denver airport is the worst and he’ll never use it again and shit. I wanted to tell him that nobody cares and to shut up, but I had a flight to catch and didn’t think that and what might come of it was a great use of my few spare minutes.

[RDCanecutter 26453]

21 minutes ago, FartingMonk said:

QI just flew and the dude next to me was wearing a tank top.  Each time he would stretch he just reeked of bad BO. 

User name does not check out.

[Don Johnson 4754]

I don't understand and must be missing something.  I'm sitting in the seat I purchased and selected.  You're sitting in the seat you purchased and selected.  Those people across the aisle are sitting in the seats that were purchased and selected for them.  I fail to see what the issue is?

[midtown 3346]

27 minutes ago, FartingMonk said:

QI just flew and the dude next to me was wearing a tank top.  Each time he would stretch he just reeked of bad BO.  When it came time to get off the plane he planned to bum rush to the front but United has a new policy where they call you by row.  He started bitching rather loudly that he has flown over a hundred times n d will never fly united again because of this

Just had this happen.   I hate the bum rushers.   Had some dude try to do this a week ago.   I am normally a sit until the row in front of me gets up.   Saw this dude headed up the aisle from way back.   I jumped up and just stood there.   He said "excuse me, I'm trying to get off"   I responded with "so is everyone else"

[Chewbacca 7780]

9 minutes ago, midtown said:

Just had this happen.   I hate the bum rushers.   Had some dude try to do this a week ago.   I am normally a sit until the row in front of me gets up.   Saw this dude headed up the aisle from way back.   I jumped up and just stood there.   He said "excuse me, I'm trying to get off"   I responded with "so is everyone else"

I stand up early specifically to stop the bum rushers.  If you've got a connection to meet, then ask nicely and I'll let you through.  Trying to push your way through isn't going to work the way you think it's going to work.

[pch 1259]

On 7/6/2021 at 12:37 PM, HouTex said:

The OP was clearly in the right. The tougher call is when I’m asked to give up my relatively comfortable aisle seat for a shitty middle seat between two fatties so a mom can sit next to her teen age kids. On short flights I’m happy to do it but on a long flight I generally say I’m happy to move so long as I get a first class upgrade that I am by God entitled to!

FIFY.😎

[conVINCEd 21469]

Had a flight attendant come on the PA a few minutes before we landed and announced that there was a gentleman toward the back of the plane who was trying to get to the hospital before they took his mom to the OR.  He wanted to see her one last time if things didn’t go well.  99%  of the plane remained seated, but a couple of fatass mouth breathers disregarded the request and clogged up the aisle preventing said man from hightailing it to the cab stand for a couple of minutes.  If he would have beaten their ass the plane would’ve erupted in applause.

[FartingMonk 3608]

Our submarine crew was on a flight to Guam with half the crew on the flight.  The leg to Hawaii was delayed and our connector was sitting there waiting for us.  The stewardess made the announcement to let us deplane first.  Some lady started complaining how it was delaying her vacation.   

[Pato del Muerto 52529]

27 minutes ago, conVINCEd said:

Had a flight attendant come on the PA a few minutes before we landed and announced that there was a gentleman toward the back of the plane who was trying to get to the hospital before they took his mom to the OR.  He wanted to see her one last time if things didn’t go well.  99%  of the plane remained seated, but a couple of fatass mouth breathers disregarded the request and clogged up the aisle preventing said man from hightailing it to the cab stand for a couple of minutes.  If he would have beaten their ass the plane would’ve erupted in applause.

I need to remember that one for the next time I get stuck back in the 20s or worse. 

[conVINCEd 21469]

2 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

I need to remember that one for the next time I get stuck back in the 20s or worse. 

I would normally share your skepticism, but he looked frazzled, and all he was carrying was a small backpack that didn’t look like it had much in it.

[Ghost of LL 15539]

On 7/7/2021 at 5:03 PM, 956 Worldwide said:

Why do they ask to move?  I’d rather have an aisle (especially aisle) or window seat than sit in the middle regardless of what family member I might be separated from. I’ll see them at the jetway.

A couple years ago, @Brisketexan and I were flying Southwest to a haring or something.  We're flying for work, so we've got Business Select and we choose the window and aisle in the exit row.  So we sit there chatting and this Karen decides that she's going to take the middle.  No problem.  Whatever.

But we're not going to interrupt our conversation just because Karen sits down.  So we keep chatting.  She pulls out a magazine, and every 20 seconds or so gives out an exaggerated sigh.  Brisket and I think this is mildly funny.

Just as the doors close, she looks at Brisket and then at me and says "do one of y'all want to switch so that you can sit together?".  Brisket just says, "no--we're good."  I think I chimed in with "but thank you for offering."

We just continue on with our conversation.

 

 

At some point about 20 minutes into the flight, I turned the conversation to the topic of air crash disasters in history.  Man--EgyptAir 990 was some shit.  

Because I'm fun like that.

[Wiler77 1566]

4 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

This is the key that these asshats don't get.  I specifically booked this seat because i wanted it and in many cases, I paid extra for this seat.  Not switching to your back of the bus middle seat just because you didn't plan ahead, sorry.

Was on a flight to Europe and was in Economy Plus and had chosen an aisle seat.  It was in the middle section (5 seats across).  A mom and 3 kids sit down to fill up our row, and I'm just listening to some music when I see a guy waving at me from the row in front to get my attention.  He's the dad in the family and asks if I mind switching seats so he can sit with his family.  He was standing in the aisle, so I had no idea where his seat was, but in my head I'm thinking, "yea, no big deal assuming he's in an aisle in Economy Plus.  But nobody would ask this if they're offering something less."

I reach down to grab my backpack and ask where his seat is.  He points to the middle fucking seat in the row directly in front of us, with a smile on his face.  I asked if he was serious...he was...and I just laughed, put my backpack down, and my earplugs back in.  No verbal answer needed.

[Pancho 44860]

Yes, but would you all switch seats here? 🧐

 

[HouTex 1882]

FIFY.

I’m not quite as aggressive but yeah.

[956 Worldwide 34718]

3 hours ago, Don Johnson said:

I don't understand and must be missing something.  I'm sitting in the seat I purchased and selected.  You're sitting in the seat you purchased and selected.  Those people across the aisle are sitting in the seats that were purchased and selected for them.  I fail to see what the issue is?

Let me boil down her argument to the basics:

”Hi, I see your family is enjoying that empty seat next to them. I’d prefer to have that empty seat next to me and if you move, I’ll have it. So, why don’t you do that?” 

[Underdog 28718]

Switched an aisle seat for a middle seat once so that a dad and young daughter could sit together, FAs repaid my kindness with free drinks and snacks for the duration of the flight.  Being a bit hefty, tried to make myself as small as possible so as to not inconvenience the other two passengers in my row.  I was fortunate it was a short flight. 

[Lhorn 4916]

4 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

I stand up early specifically to stop the bum rushers.  If you've got a connection to meet, then ask nicely and I'll let you through.  Trying to push your way through isn't going to work the way you think it's going to work.

Someone earlier asked why people toward the back get up so early when deboarding. This is exactly why.  Most people understand how it works but every once in a while you get the “bum rusher” and those behind you that think if one person in their group gets past you, then everyone else in their groups gets to stay together and get past you too. Fuck that. 

[Gil Bang 25975]

35 minutes ago, Lhorn said:

Someone earlier asked why people toward the back get up so early when deboarding. This is exactly why.  Most people understand how it works but every once in a while you get the “bum rusher” and those behind you that think if one person in their group gets past you, then everyone else in their groups gets to stay together and get past you too. Fuck that. 

Fucking MIA man...as soon as the tires screech on the runway, 20 fucking cubans are standing up trying to grab their shit out of the overhead.  I've seen it over and over and over.  

[HornPhD 1368]

On 7/6/2021 at 1:07 PM, Telegraph_it said:

The poster that mentioned having their backpack in the overhead reminded me of the most rage inducing moment on a plane for me. 
 

I was sitting in the row behind first, bulkhead seat, so I had my backup in the overhead. Almost everyone has boarded and the overhead directly above me, where my bag is stowed, is closed. Guy comes up from a few rows back and starts opening the compartments. He comes to the one over my row and removes my bag, raises it up, and asks whose bag this is. 
 

I take my AirPods out and immediately respond, “it’s mine and I’d appreciate it if you put it right back.”
 

He is looking down at me and says something about backpacks not belonging in overheads and puts his duffel in my place. 
 

Thankfully, a flight attendant is right there and immediately pounces on the dude demanding he remove his bag or he is off the flight. 
 

He take his bag down and in the process lands it on my head. I stand up at this point ready to go but a rather large passaneger a row back is already up in his face yelling at him. The dude got kicked off the flight. 

Happened to me once on a redeye from SFO to NYC. Some dude removed my large backpack to make room for his. When it was clear both wouldn’t fit, FA was going to have mine checked until I explained what happened. 

[Biff Tannen 45691]

2 hours ago, Pancho said:

Yes, but would you all switch seats here? 🧐

 

The cheez its take it to 11. 

[CooterBrown 18015]

Fucking MIA man...as soon as the tires screech on the runway, 20 fucking cubans are standing up trying to grab their shit out of the overhead.  I've seen it over and over and over.  

A Chinese guy was in my row in the window seat. I saw his next boarding pass and he had a 2 hour layover coming up. Right when we hit the pavement he clutched his backpack and was rocking back and forth. I knew this dude had no cultural appreciation for orderly queues being from the mainland. The instant the bell chimed, that motherfucker climbed over the middle passenger and me and pretty much crowd surfed his way to the front. 10 minutes later, saw that idiot just sitting a few gates down waiting for his connection.

[Sam Lin 3559]

Landing in Korea it's the old Korean ladies. No force of nature is going to stop them from plowing their way to the front.

[hornmpa96 2618]

Prior to Covid, I noticed an epidemic of people from the back of the plane trying to push their way to the front to make their connection when our flight arrived early. You booked a 15 minute connection. That’s not my fucking problem.

[pch 1259]

Recently returning from Idaho on SWA, the wife and I got the bulkhead seats when I noticed that the luggage bins were jammed all the way back to the fourth row. This is my biggest gripe with SWA letting people shove their shit in the first bin and sit in the back of the plane.  No problem, I put our two carry on bags in the bins available and then stepped around all of the bum rushers who were forced to wait while I took my time getting our bags out.   

[Party_Taco 3742]

Had the opposite experience in Vegas a few weeks back. When the door opened, some wheelchair old stood up and stumbled their way to the door, but literally no one in the first 10 rows stood or moved.

The bell had clearly rung, the door was open, attendants had their chat… we were clear. Anyway, the PA comes on and asks anyone needing wheelchair assistance to stay seated and the old sits back down. Still, no one moves.

We had arrived over an hour late due to waiting on crew (all the while our plane sat on the tarmac behind our departing gate because SW refused to move an empty plane blocking out gate, so an extra 35 mins to deplane, but don’t get me started…) and I was boarding in 10 minutes.

Anyway, it’s been 3-4 mins at this point and still not a soul in the first 10 rows had stood, moved into the aisles or gone for their bags, so I said fuck it. Announced that if no one was going I sure as shit was and began moving forward, only for all the seated tards to lose their collective shit.

“How rude!!”

Get with the program, people… it’s not my fault you forgot how to fly during COVID.

[mininghorn88 2294]

6 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

I stand up early specifically to stop the bum rushers.  If you've got a connection to meet, then ask nicely and I'll let you through.  Trying to push your way through isn't going to work the way you think it's going to work.

This is my move as well.  I also usually stand so that the folks on my row can all exit before I do as well since they are scrambling from a middle or window seat.

What also gets to me are the folks that wait to pack all of their crap up once disembarking has started.  There are times where they will stand in the aisle, blocking it while they put stuff back into their backpack or other carry-on luggage preventing the rest of the passengers from quickly exiting.

[Armybrat 40851]

On 7/6/2021 at 1:18 PM, RDCanecutter said:

And everyone is farting. To not fart in such a situation risks unbalancing the fart mixture.

Just try sitting next to an Indian lady who, after consuming her special curry dinner early in the flight, farts all the way across the Atlantic.

Being seasick for two weeks while sailing across the Pacific was a more pleasant experience.

[Moby Ric 2058]

14 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

At some point about 20 minutes into the flight, I turned the conversation to the topic of air crash disasters in history.  Man--EgyptAir 990 was some shit.  

Because I'm fun like that.

Just gave me an idea to download some of the air disaster shows onto my phone and watch them on my next flight.  Especially the ones about the suicidal pilots.