Airplane Etiquette Thread

[956 Worldwide 34715]

Bringing curry, lobsters, egg salad, tuna, and lots of fast food on a plane is bullshit. The rule for bringing food on a plane is that it it shouldn’t be smellable beyond your seat. Get a damn turkey sandwich or a salet like everyone else. Will make an exception for whole apple pie. 

[Ghost of LL 15539]

1 minute ago, Moby Ric said:

Just gave me an idea to download some of the air disaster shows onto my phone and watch them on my next flight.  Especially the ones about the suicidal pilots.

Brisket and I will frequently discuss that topic while sitting in a window and aisle to discourage anyone from sitting in the middle with us.

Since we're usually flying Business Select on Southwest, we are often in the exit row with the FA right near us.  More than once the FA has interjected into the conversation and joined in.  Some FAs are really fucking morbid.

[Moby Ric 2058]

2 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

Brisket and I will frequently discuss that topic while sitting in a window and aisle to discourage anyone from sitting in the middle with us.

Since we're usually flying Business Select on Southwest, we are often in the exit row with the FA right near us.  More than once the FA has interjected into the conversation and joined in.  Some FAs are really fucking morbid.

Nicely done.  I don't fly SWA anymore but when I did a good move was to put a bible in the seat next to you.  Nobody sits.

[956 Worldwide 34715]

32 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

Nicely done.  I don't fly SWA anymore but when I did a good move was to put a bible in the seat next to you.  Nobody sits.

I bet it would cost pennies to get a little name tag that says “Elder Smith.” Wear it with a white short sleeve button down and you’d be set on SWA flights. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

15 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

A couple years ago, @Brisketexan and I were flying Southwest to a haring or something.  We're flying for work, so we've got Business Select and we choose the window and aisle in the exit row.  So we sit there chatting and this Karen decides that she's going to take the middle.  No problem.  Whatever.

But we're not going to interrupt our conversation just because Karen sits down.  So we keep chatting.  She pulls out a magazine, and every 20 seconds or so gives out an exaggerated sigh.  Brisket and I think this is mildly funny.

Just as the doors close, she looks at Brisket and then at me and says "do one of y'all want to switch so that you can sit together?".  Brisket just says, "no--we're good."  I think I chimed in with "but thank you for offering."

We just continue on with our conversation.

 

 

At some point about 20 minutes into the flight, I turned the conversation to the topic of air crash disasters in history.  Man--EgyptAir 990 was some shit.  

Because I'm fun like that.

So she’s a Karen simply because she had to sit in a middle seat and happened to choose yours, thus ruining your plan to have an empty seat in your row.  So for that dastardly deed you attempted to punish her by making the flight as miserable for her as possible?  I’m not sure you have properly identified the Karen in that situation.

Edited July 9, 2021 by NeverMarryAStripper

[Ghost of LL 15539]

12 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

So she’s a Karen simply because she had to sit in a middle seat and happened to choose yours, thus ruining your plan to have an empty seat in your row.  So for that dastardly deed you attempted to punish her by making the flight as miserable for her as possible?  I’m not sure you have properly identified the Karen in that situation.

She's a Karen for sitting between people who are having a conversation and expecting them to immediately cease their discussion.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

I think I would have started loudly singing show tunes off key.

[Scary Stranger 1715]

12 hours ago, HornPhD said:

Happened to me once on a redeye from SFO to NYC. Some dude removed my large backpack to make room for his. When it was clear both wouldn’t fit, FA was going to have mine checked until I explained what happened. 

The correct phrase here is 'Get you hands off my fucking bag.'

[Scary Stranger 1715]

12 hours ago, HornPhD said:

Happened to me once on a redeye from SFO to NYC. Some dude removed my large backpack to make room for his. When it was clear both wouldn’t fit, FA was going to have mine checked until I explained what happened. 

The correct phrase here is 'Get you hands off my fucking bag.'

 

Apparently it is more effective if you say it twice.

Edited July 9, 2021 by Scary Stranger

[TornACL 7705]

18 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

She's a Karen for sitting between people who are having a conversation and expecting them to immediately cease their discussion.

I'm gonna have to rule in favor of Karen on this one. Unless the flight was half full and she stupidly selected a middle seat over available aisle and window seats. 

Generally, if two Chatty Cathys want to gab it up the whole flight, they should sit next to each other. 

I was in this situation once. On AA so assigned seating. Got stuck in a middle when I hopped on an earlier flight. Married couple on the aisle and window. 

Even once I put on my headphones to drown out their inane chatter they kept passing magazines and snacks and shit back and forth to each other the whole flight. 

When I asked if they want to just sit next to each other, they declined and explained that they purposely booked two separate reservations with a seat in between them. So they'd have an open seat. 

Yeah, that's not how it works. In summer. With full flights everywhere. 

[mdmost 43004]

Right, if you want that, sit across the aisle from one another. Wife and I always do that, even when the kids are with us. I guess if you're a window type that doesn't work but I couldn't imagine being that much of a dick to pick assigned seats and leaving a middle open, then going across a stranger to talk or pass things back and forth.

[RDCanecutter 26452]

37 minutes ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I think I would have started loudly singing show tunes off key.

I actually saw that happen. City bus in San Francisco, dude gets on with a "boom box" playing rap, another passenger objects, a little nyah-nyah back-and-forth, then Objecting Passenger quits arguing, and instead starts belting out something Gilbert-and-Sullivanish.

[HornPhD 1368]

1 hour ago, Scary Stranger said:

The correct phrase here is 'Get you hands off my fucking bag.'

I didn’t know he removed my backpack until the FA asked who it belonged to as it was in the overhead of the row behind me.

I was chillin in my seat reading a book. If I had witnessed him removing my bag, I would have had some words with the guy. 

Edited July 9, 2021 by HornPhD

[Chewbacca 7780]

53 minutes ago, Scary Stranger said:

The correct phrase here is 'Get you hands off my fucking bag.'

Yeah, the instant I recognized my bag in his hands, I would have told him to put it the fuck back and leave it alone.  Why wait until he pulls it out and replaces it?

[South Austin 52519]

I'll indulge people who want to save a seat and just move along.  But if it's at the point where the plane is filling up and seats are getting more limited, tough shit if your travel companion hasn't made it on the plane yet. 

[mininghorn88 2293]

On a commuter flight out of SHV a couple of years ago and some jackwad placed his small carry-on in the overhead opposite his seat (not directly above him) in the middle of the bin leaving some space on either side but not large enough to place anything else there. Next older guy comes along and slides the dude’s bag over a bit so that he could put his carry-on up there as well. First dude goes ballistic and launches into a cursing tirade to the old dude about moving his bag. I stand up and tell the first dude to shut up that there are a bunch of women on the flight and I am sure that they do not care to hear such language. Dude had an “oh shit” reaction and shut up immediately. In return I was thanked (verbally) by all of the women (no pics; mostly elderly) on the flight.

[Chewbacca 7780]

14 minutes ago, South Austin said:

I'll indulge people who want to save a seat and just move along.  But if it's at the point where the plane is filling up and seats are getting more limited, tough shit if your travel companion hasn't made it on the plane yet. 

The scenario I'm referring to was, I think, on a trip to Orlando.  Multiple groups trying to save 1-2 entire rows each because the rest of their goup was in B or C.  We were in late A and ended up in the back of the plane just so we could find a row for my family.  It was absurd.  And those women saving seats were nasty bitches.  I thought about just sitting down but decided I didn't want to deal with them the whole flight.  FAs should have stepped in, but they didn't.

 

I also don't give a shit if someone wants to save a single seat here or there.

Edited July 9, 2021 by Chewbacca

[NWBuck 8571]

On 7/6/2021 at 11:44 AM, Underdog said:

On our recent trip to and from Dallas, we were pleasantly surprised how people just didn't immediately unfasten their seatbelts and jump up to retrieve their overhead luggage, seems a majority of people were patient. 

 

19 hours ago, midtown said:

Just had this happen.   I hate the bum rushers.   Had some dude try to do this a week ago.   I am normally a sit until the row in front of me gets up.   Saw this dude headed up the aisle from way back.   I jumped up and just stood there.   He said "excuse me, I'm trying to get off"   I responded with "so is everyone else"

 

18 hours ago, Chewbacca said:

I stand up early specifically to stop the bum rushers.  If you've got a connection to meet, then ask nicely and I'll let you through.  Trying to push your way through isn't going to work the way you think it's going to work.

 

14 hours ago, Lhorn said:

Someone earlier asked why people toward the back get up so early when deboarding. This is exactly why.  Most people understand how it works but every once in a while you get the “bum rusher” and those behind you that think if one person in their group gets past you, then everyone else in their groups gets to stay together and get past you too. Fuck that. 

If you're the type of person who wears a t-shirt when you fly (or flying with a young'n who does), this might be a helpful wardrobe choice.

 

[midtown 3346]

So like this?

[Chewbacca 7780]

9 minutes ago, NWBuck said:

 

 

 

If you're the type of person who wears a t-shirt when you fly (or flying with a young'n who does), this might be a helpful wardrobe choice.

 

Why does anyone care if someone in an aisle seat stands up when the plane stops?  

[hookemATL 11759]

2 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

Why does anyone care if someone in an aisle seat stands up when the plane stops?  

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. A lot of grief could be avoided if people followed that concept, specifically at airports. 

[Chewbacca 7780]

3 minutes ago, hookemATL said:

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. A lot of grief could be avoided if people followed that concept, specifically at airports. 

Why?  This is when the plane stops and the seatbelt lights go off.  I've never heard a reason I shouldn't stand up.  What grief am I causing?

[midtown 3346]

9 minutes ago, Chewbacca said:

Why does anyone care if someone in an aisle seat stands up when the plane stops?  

Sometimes luggage is a row behind.  If everyone is standing up it makes it harder for the people in that row to get their luggage and get off.  It adds up.  And not everyone is willing to hand someone's roller board to them.   

And people stand up who are in the middle and window and crane their neck as to avoid hitting the bin.   Why stand like that for 10 mins when you are in row 20?

Edited July 9, 2021 by midtown

[Chewbacca 7780]

2 minutes ago, midtown said:

Sometimes luggage is a row behind.  If everyone is standing up it makes it harder for the people in that row to get their luggage and get off.  It adds up.  And not everyone is willing to hand someone's roller board to them.   

I'm happy to grab luggage and I usually do for women just to be nice.  And if the FAs say to stay seated, I stay seated.  Again, not seeing the issue.

I do not stand if I'm not in the aisle for exactly that reason.  No point.

Edited July 9, 2021 by Chewbacca

[TornACL 7705]

My favorite is when your plane lands 15 minutes early into DFW and some jackwad tries to push his way ahead through the aisle while announcing he has a tight connection. 

Bitch, we're early, so you have at least 30 minutes before your next flight even starts to board, you're going to be fine. 

[midtown 3346]

Can we talk about clapping?   I'd like to throat punch clappers.   It happens almost exclusively on the Vegas/Disney flights which is 70% first time or once every few year traveler demographic

[next2naus 439]

Quote

 by grabbing the top of her headrest to pull himself up 

this shit grinds my gears. If you don't have the ability and core strength to get up and out of a seat without pulling on someone else's seat....don't fly. 

[BearSchlong 8098]

45 minutes ago, midtown said:

Can we talk about clapping?   I'd like to throat punch clappers.   It happens almost exclusively on the Vegas/Disney flights which is 70% first time or once every few year traveler demographic

r/oddlyspecific

[conVINCEd 21469]

40 minutes ago, next2naus said:

this shit grinds my gears. If you don't have the ability and core strength to get up and out of a seat without pulling on someone else's seat....don't fly. 

 I don’t think the airlines can afford to lose half of their customers.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

Gott damn here I was having a great Friday and I read this thread, and that's over.

People doing the bum rush should be tazered.  No ifs, ands, or butts.

Edited July 9, 2021 by Onboard 2.0

[Scary Stranger 1715]

1 hour ago, midtown said:

Sometimes luggage is a row behind.  If everyone is standing up it makes it harder for the people in that row to get their luggage and get off.  It adds up.  And not everyone is willing to hand someone's roller board to them.   

And people stand up who are in the middle and window and crane their neck as to avoid hitting the bin.   Why stand like that for 10 mins when you are in row 20?

I have a bad knee so I stand as early as is feasible (when in coach)  because my knee hurts like a sonofabitch after sitting for extended time. 

[midtown 3346]

5 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

tuna

Demographically half the plane is bringing tuna on the plane

[Gatorubet 30246]

My favorite is when your plane lands 15 minutes early into DFW and some jackwad tries to push his way ahead through the aisle while announcing he has a tight connection. 
Bitch, we're early, so you have at least 30 minutes before your next flight even starts to board, you're going to be fine. 

Why do you hate the incontinent?

[TornACL 7705]

39 minutes ago, Gatorubet said:

Why do you hate the incontinent?

If someone is willing to declare in public that they're about to doodoo their pants, I'm getting out of the way.

I, for one, value honesty. And abhor bad smells in airplanes.

[PenelopeWitherspoon 19103]

Let me just pause to say that I can't do economy on a transatlantic flight anymore.  I am too tall, too fat, and too old for that shit.  I'll do premium economy.  I obviously prefer business (hardly anybody does First anymore).  But I just can't do economy.
Aside from that, she's definitely the asshole.  You took a chance, and it came up in your favor.  She is now asking you to forfeit your good luck for . . . reasons?  I don't think so.

This right here.

[Gil Bang 25975]

3 hours ago, midtown said:

Sometimes luggage is a row behind.  If everyone is standing up it makes it harder for the people in that row to get their luggage and get off.  It adds up.  And not everyone is willing to hand someone's roller board to them.   

And people stand up who are in the middle and window and crane their neck as to avoid hitting the bin.   Why stand like that for 10 mins when you are in row 20?

roller board?   Are you from Arkansas by chance?

[mininghorn88 2293]

1 hour ago, Scary Stranger said:

I have a bad knee so I stand as early as is feasible (when in coach)  because my knee hurts like a sonofabitch after sitting for extended time. 

Typically nothing wrong with standing up once the plane gets to the gate. Just stand at your row and don’t try to advance.

I stand up quickly to keep the idiots from storming the gates.

[blacklab 11941]

Hey, do you mind if we raise the arm rest?

Uh, yeah fatty I'm not letting you spill over to my seat. Don't like it? Buy a second ticket.

[Underdog 28711]

1 hour ago, midtown said:

Demographically half the plane is bringing tuna on the plane

Or red snapper. 

[midtown 3346]

12 minutes ago, blacklab said:

Uh, yeah fatty I'm not letting you spill over to my seat. Don't like it? Buy a second ticket.

When is this issue going to be addressed by the airlines?   You can not keep making plane seats this small and at the same time allowing people who can fit two seats to use one.   It's ridiculous.  

[PenelopeWitherspoon 19103]

I used to fly a lot for work.  I was lucky as I was considered a frequent traveler, so I was eligible to book first for flights over 3 hours.  As I was usually flying first thing in the AM or late at night, I usually did as I was not charging the client for travel time and doing it in my own time.  They could pay the extra 100-200 each way (was much less than me charging the my rate for the time on the plane).  I also did usually try and get some work done on the plane, so having the extra room was important.  

A couple of times, I was in first, and I would have someone ask if I would mind switching with their spouse so they could sit together (the spouse was also in first).  I generally had no issue with that.  But once I had someone ask if I would switch with their spouse who was sitting in the first row of coach.  GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.  That was an asinine request.  

My personal favorite dumbass story was coming back to Houston from New York one Sunday morning.  As I had to move my flight, and first was full on that flight, I used my 1K status to get us the Exit Row Aisles across from one another.  We lived close to each other, so we were going to share an Uber back from the airport once in Houston, so it was no big deal.  I had checked my luggage (had been up for two straight weeks), so had my laptop bag and a purse as my carry-ons.  My laptop bag was a Neverfull, and I put it in the overhead, and had my purse down under the seat in front of me.  This girl and her mom board.  First, her overhead bag is WAY too big.  She opens the overhead, proceeds to grab my bag and move it, without asking.  I stop her immediately and say, "Excuse me, please do not move my bag or touch it without asking.  Please put it back where you found it." 

She starts to give me shit, throws a fit, then calls for a FA.  She tells the FA I am being difficult because she is black.  WTF!  The FA asks me what the issue is.  I told the FA that she grabbed my bag without asking, which contains confidential work papers, and proceeded to try and put it somewhere else, and I asked that she not do that.  The FA then asks me why it is in the overhead.  I show her my purse which is under my seat.  I then say, "The bag she is carrying is too large for the overhead, and she should have been required to gate check the bag."  The whole time, this girl is sitting there with her mother bitching about me being racist (Fucking seriously), and how she cannot sit next to someone like me.  A man in the aisle behind me saw the whole thing, taps my arm and asks if I would like to change seats with him (he only had a briefcase which was in the overhead, so he offered to put that under his seat and switch with me so I could keep my bag up).  The Porter for the flight comes back after we switch seats, and loudly apologizes to me for the other FA's behavior, says they appreciate my loyalty (I 1k at the time, having flown over 150k miles the prior year, missing GS by about $1k), and since First is completely full, they will happily buy my drinks the entire flight.  

I know, TLDR, basically, rude young woman tries to move my bag without asking, I stop her, while being very polite, and get accused of being a racist person because she happened to be black.  She proceeded to throw a temper tantrum like a child and the head FA gave me free drinks the entire flight.

 

[PenelopeWitherspoon 19103]

19 minutes ago, midtown said:

When is this issue going to be addressed by the airlines?   You can not keep making plane seats this small and at the same time allowing people who can fit two seats to use one.   It's ridiculous.  

You make them buy two fucking seats.  Sorry, but that is what they are supposed to do.

However, me personally, I would rather sit next to someone who is large than someone that smells.  I long for the time when people actually dressed decently on airplanes.

Edited July 9, 2021 by PenelopeWitherspoon

[HouTex 1878]

It takes a large set of balls to ask someone to move from first class to coach so they can bring a spouse up to first. After I stopped laughing I would have said “you’re kidding, right?”

[conVINCEd 21469]

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.  That being said, that is fucking absurd.

[South Austin 52519]

18 minutes ago, PenelopeWitherspoon said:

I used to fly a lot for work.  I was lucky as I was considered a frequent traveler, so I was eligible to book first for flights over 3 hours.  As I was usually flying first thing in the AM or late at night, I usually did as I was not charging the client for travel time and doing it in my own time.  They could pay the extra 100-200 each way (was much less than me charging the my rate for the time on the plane).  I also did usually try and get some work done on the plane, so having the extra room was important.  

A couple of times, I was in first, and I would have someone ask if I would mind switching with their spouse so they could sit together (the spouse was also in first).  I generally had no issue with that.  But once I had someone ask if I would switch with their spouse who was sitting in the first row of coach.  GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.  That was an asinine request.  

My personal favorite dumbass story was coming back to Houston from New York one Sunday morning.  As I had to move my flight, and first was full on that flight, I used my 1K status to get us the Exit Row Aisles across from one another.  We lived close to each other, so we were going to share an Uber back from the airport once in Houston, so it was no big deal.  I had checked my luggage (had been up for two straight weeks), so had my laptop bag and a purse as my carry-ons.  My laptop bag was a Neverfull, and I put it in the overhead, and had my purse down under the seat in front of me.  This girl and her mom board.  First, her overhead bag is WAY too big.  She opens the overhead, proceeds to grab my bag and move it, without asking.  I stop her immediately and say, "Excuse me, please do not move my bag or touch it without asking.  Please put it back where you found it." 

She starts to give me shit, throws a fit, then calls for a FA.  She tells the FA I am being difficult because she is black.  WTF!  The FA asks me what the issue is.  I told the FA that she grabbed my bag without asking, which contains confidential work papers, and proceeded to try and put it somewhere else, and I asked that she not do that.  The FA then asks me why it is in the overhead.  I show her my purse which is under my seat.  I then say, "The bag she is carrying is too large for the overhead, and she should have been required to gate check the bag."  The whole time, this girl is sitting there with her mother bitching about me being racist (Fucking seriously), and how she cannot sit next to someone like me.  A man in the aisle behind me saw the whole thing, taps my arm and asks if I would like to change seats with him (he only had a briefcase which was in the overhead, so he offered to put that under his seat and switch with me so I could keep my bag up).  The Porter for the flight comes back after we switch seats, and loudly apologizes to me for the other FA's behavior, says they appreciate my loyalty (I 1k at the time, having flown over 150k miles the prior year, missing GS by about $1k), and since First is completely full, they will happily buy my drinks the entire flight.  

I know, TLDR, basically, rude young woman tries to move my bag without asking, I stop her, while being very polite, and get accused of being a racist person because she happened to be black.  She proceeded to throw a temper tantrum like a child and the head FA gave me free drinks the entire flight.

I think the lesson here, Penelope, is that you need to be nicer to black people. 

[Moby Ric 2058]

5 minutes ago, HouTex said:

It takes a large set of balls to ask someone to move from first class to coach so they can bring a spouse up to first. After I stopped laughing I would have said “you’re kidding, right?”

That is way out of line.  I had a flight from Tampa to DFW about 20 yers ago and I was sitting in my seat in steerage.  A super hot girl comes and sits next to me followed by a typical douchbag guy chatting her up.  He asked me to change seats.  I looked at him, then her, then him again and smirked and said that's not going to happen.  Then I learned he was in 1A first class.  Being the poor I was back then I took the meal and booze over the chic I had no shot with.

[PenelopeWitherspoon 19103]

I think the lesson here, Penelope, is that you need to be nicer to black people. 

Yes, that was the issue here.

[South Austin 52519]

4 minutes ago, Moby Ric said:

That is way out of line.  I had a flight from Tampa to DFW about 20 yers ago and I was sitting in my seat in steerage.  A super hot girl comes and sits next to me followed by a typical douchbag guy chatting her up.  He asked me to change seats.  I looked at him, then her, then him again and smirked and said that's not going to happen.  Then I learned he was in 1A first class.  Being the poor I was back then I took the meal and booze over the chic I had no shot with.

I probably would've done the same.  I've only flown first class once in my life.  I was on the way back from D.C. as a first-year attorney on a Friday evening after a long work trip, and for some reason the gate attendant informed me that my coach seat had been upgraded to first class.  I asked no questions.  After we boarded, a FA asked if I wanted anything to drink, and I asked for a glass of red wine.  When she brought it, I reached into my pocket for some cash to pay for the drink, and she said in a sweet not-too-condescending way, "Oh, you don't have to pay for drinks here."  Needless to say, I was shitfaced when we landed at DFW.

[PenelopeWitherspoon 19103]

It takes a large set of balls to ask someone to move from first class to coach so they can bring a spouse up to first. After I stopped laughing I would have said “you’re kidding, right?”

Right? I did laugh, then said, “Not gonna happen.” I mean, I wouldn’t even give my friend the upgrade on a flight home from Orlando after he hurt himself sliding down a bannister after I told him not to. I figured he ignored my warning that he was going to hurt himself. I did drive him and his car home however since he couldn’t drive.

[TornACL 7705]

This has happened a few times, usually flying in or out of smaller markets.

I get lucky enough to be upgraded, board and find someone in my seat. I do the usual, hey I think you're in my seat. The person either a) claims there aren't assigned seats and "you can just sit anywhere" or b) fumbles for their ticket and does the whole "Oh, is this not 18F?"

Yeah, dumb shit. You just "accidentally" took a seat in first. Because you were confused. Right. Go back to the back, peasant.