Jump to content

Afghan War ending, foretold by The Onion 10 years Ago [DT thread ruined by politics]

crash_davis

By crash_davis
in Cloak Room

 Share

Recommended Posts

Captainant

Captainant 27,682

Posted
Posted

Ya know, I really do get a kick out of all the waterheads who were 100% sure that COVID was a hoax, that BLM was going to burn down every major city, that trump actually won the election, that cops dont murder people in the US, etc etc - all gracing us with their historically accurate hot takes.

I'm still waiting for COVID to be done by Easter. Maybe third time's the charm.

  • Hook 'Em 3
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 3.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

CHIEF
CHIEF

One of CHIEF Jr.'s best friends (a Marine) just got orders they are shipping out to Kabul in 24 hours. The thing he is worried about is exactly who is in the Hummer that pulls up beside you. It's goin

wildcat09
wildcat09

Counterproposal: let's let all Afghan women in who want to come and let's send you to Afghanistan.

Muy Frio
Muy Frio

Posted Images

Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105,161

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Muy Frio said:

Plenty of posts here saying it couldn’t have been done better. It was always going to end like this. Or some variation thereof. Really?

False.

8 minutes ago, David Dennison said:

It could have been done better, but it was always going to end like this.

True.  It was always going to end up looking something like this.  There are an infinite number of variations of it, but a nice and pretty exit in the final days was never in the cards.

3 minutes ago, Sawbonz said:

Give us a number on the acceptable loss military life to keep that from happening 

I'm still waiting for that.  Lots of tough talk.  Not enough volunteering a number of additional American bodybags that they're willing to spend.

1 minute ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


It’s 0 without Isis. If taliban and Isis want to go at it after every troop and american are out of there, then that’s their prerogative

Yeah, I mean, we'd have 0 COVID deaths.....without COVID.  WTF?  Afghanistan is a chaotic country without a viable central power structure.  It's been that way for centuries, and will be for centuries more.  When you create a power vacuum (which our exit does), chaos fills it.  It's what happens.  Fast-motion, or slow-motion, it's what happens.  Choppers fleeing Saigon 46 years ago shoulda told ya.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
wildcat09

wildcat09 29,355

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, BabaYaga said:

LOL, are you saying there was not a significant number of military voices advocating to stage this from Bagram?  Pushing back against the Sec Def, Milley, and ultimately Biden who gave the green light?

I'm saying you're a pathological liar who makes shit up to try to win internet arguments and when called on it you make up more lies to distract from your previous lies.

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sawbonz

Sawbonz 27,580

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


It’s 0 without Isis. If taliban and Isis want to go at it after every troop and american are out of there, then that’s their prerogative

And if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle. Do you have a real answer? How many more dead to get the people out who are left? How many more mangled extremities and destroyed minds and ruined families?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8,817

Posted
Posted
Yeah, I mean, we'd have 0 COVID deaths.....without COVID.  WTF?  Afghanistan is a chaotic country without a viable central power structure.  It's been that way for centuries, and will be for centuries more.  When you create a power vacuum (which our exit does), chaos fills it.  It's what happens.  Fast-motion, or slow-motion, it's what happens.  Choppers fleeing Saigon 46 years ago shoulda told ya.

On what planet does the taliban want to engage combat with America?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
wildcat09

wildcat09 29,355

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Sawbonz said:

And if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle. Do you have a real answer? How many more dead to get the people out who are left? How many more mangled extremities and destroyed minds and ruined families?

No, don't you see, if Biden would just order in a dozen operators they'd be able to get 1,000 people out without suffering any casualties! It's that easy!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
TXSG8R

TXSG8R 3,362

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

You continue to say shit that's just plain false.  Look at a goddamn map.  Bagram is CLOSER to the mountains than HKIA.  Nevermind that you have been presented with direct quotes from military leadership saying that we should not hold on to Bagram.

We could have.....with a lot more troops.

You want us to hold and defend 40 miles of road for civilians to evacuate through?  WTF?  Add another many thousands of troops for that.

You're just making shit up, and layering it with the indefensible.

Yep, it’s it’s all hysterical, emotional bullshit. If they chose Bagram over HKIA the yelling would have been about how stupid Biden was for forcing Afghans to run the gauntlet out of Kabul when there was a perfectly usable airport within the city. 
 

The reality is until today they we’re able to evacuate over 20k people a day out of HKIA without any loss of life. How would longer runways matter when faced with that level of output?  How many less people would have been able to get to Bagram from Kabul when facing a 30-40 mile run through Taliban controlled area?  I haven’t seen anything suggesting we have a capacity or throughput issue for this evacuation, so Bagram being bigger is a complete non-issue. 

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8,817

Posted
Posted
And if my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle. Do you have a real answer? How many more dead to get the people out who are left? How many more mangled extremities and destroyed minds and ruined families?

Why on earth does the taliban want to kill soldiers? If they wanted to they’d rush the airport.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15,301

Posted
Posted
Just now, David Dennison said:

The same issues would have come up at Bagram. 

Bagram has two fields.  More flights and faster turn around times and the runways are longer.  It allows for military support to be in play if needed.  It was there to support the ANA.  One day they had support, the next the phones were dead.  

Bagram is not surrounded by mountains that can bracket the runways.  It's already defended and set up to sustain attacks if needed.  If the Taliban start shelling Kabul, it's light out.  Full stop.  Were one artillery or rocket away from the entire exodus going to tits up.  There's also more room at Bagram to house and feed people.

These all outweigh the logistical challenges of it's remote location.  

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8,817

Posted
Posted
No, don't you see, if Biden would just order in a dozen operators they'd be able to get 1,000 people out without suffering any casualties! It's that easy!

Or if Biden would see the country being taken over 4 months ago he’d make a fucking move. He didn’t and said the total opposite. Because he’s an old fucking dope
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105,161

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


On what planet does the taliban want to engage combat with America?

You can't POSSIBLY be this dumb.  Seriously.  It has to be a bit.

The Taliban doesn't want to engage in combat with us.  They want us to GTFO.  BUT....of we broke our "GTFO promise".....then they sure as fuck would have engaged in combat with us.  They did it before, they'd do it again.  For now, the best path to them securing their goal (a takeover of Afghanistan) is for us to GTFO, so they weren't going to attack and provoke us into staying.

Break our promise, and they would change course.

In any case, the Taliban isn't attacking us right now.  Other elements -- who can operate in a country with no real authorities -- are doing so.  They are the chaos, rushing into the vacuum that our exit was inevitably going to create.

  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15,301

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, TXSG8R said:

How many less people would have been able to get to Bagram from Kabul when facing a 30-40 mile run through Taliban controlled area?

They don't control the entire city now, with checkpoints at every avenue?  What are you talking about?

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sawbonz

Sawbonz 27,580

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

You continue to say shit that's just plain false.  Look at a goddamn map.  Bagram is CLOSER to the mountains than HKIA.  Nevermind that you have been presented with direct quotes from military leadership saying that we should not hold on to Bagram.

We could have.....with a lot more troops.

You want us to hold and defend 40 miles of road for civilians to evacuate through?  WTF?  Add another many thousands of troops for that.

You're just making shit up, and layering it with the indefensible.

BabaYaga is the 2nd lieutenant who gets fragged two weeks in country

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
aggie08

aggie08 21,505

Posted
Posted (edited)

1) Fuck off with the "you voted for this clown" takes. Nothing in four years has suggested Trump to be some kind of brilliant tactician. He would have been in the same meetings with the same generals deciding between bad options, hoping he picked the bad option, not the worse one. Who the fuck knows if it would have turned out differently, but precedent isn't on his side. He punted it to his second term for a reason.

2) "It would have been just as bad or worse under Trump" is a shitty, pointless position. God help us if that's the bar. Being so far off on their estimate for how long the ANA could stand on their own is a gross intelligence failure that he signed off on. We don't know how many would still die under other hypothetical scenarios, but Americans are dead now, and he has to wear that.

 

There, did I manage to piss off everyone?

Edited by aggie08
  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
David Dennison

David Dennison 18,929

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, BabaYaga said:

Bagram has two fields.  More flights and faster turn around times and the runways are longer.  It allows for military support to be in play if needed.  It was there to support the ANA.  One day they had support, the next the phones were dead.  

Bagram is not surrounded by mountains that can bracket the runways.  It's already defended and set up to sustain attacks if needed.  If the Taliban start shelling Kabul, it's light out.  Full stop.  Were one artillery or rocket away from the entire exodus going to tits up.  There's also more room at Bagram to house and feed people.

These all outweigh the logistical challenges of it's remote location.  

And all of the problems going on right now would be happening there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Longhorn_Fan68

Longhorn_Fan68 33,876

Posted
Posted (edited)
4 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

Bagram has two fields.  More flights and faster turn around times and the runways are longer.  It allows for military support to be in play if needed.  It was there to support the ANA.  One day they had support, the next the phones were dead.  

Bagram is not surrounded by mountains that can bracket the runways.  It's already defended and set up to sustain attacks if needed.  If the Taliban start shelling Kabul, it's light out.  Full stop.  Were one artillery or rocket away from the entire exodus going to tits up.  There's also more room at Bagram to house and feed people.

These all outweigh the logistical challenges of it's remote location.  

cool man, then invent a time machine, enlist, go through 20+ years of training, get appointed to high positions and start making decisions for us. you seem to know everything, start putting it to good use.

Edited by Longhorn_Fan68
Link to comment
Share on other sites
wildcat09

wildcat09 29,355

Posted
Posted

I just heard some really shocking news. In that secret meeting BabaYaga somehow knows about in which all the generals advised Biden to evacuate from Bagram instead of Kabul and Biden told them to get fucked, the generals also said they have irrefutable proof that BabaYaga is a child molester.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BabaYaga

BabaYaga 15,301

Posted
Posted
Just now, TXSG8R said:

No shit, now add 30 miles of that and expect people to find their way through. 

This is utterly absurd.  You don't stage an exit in the middle of the most heavily populated area of the city with one F'ing runway.  If people are getting through the current checkpoints, they can make the longer journey to a much, much more secure location.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105,161

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


Or if Biden would see the country being taken over 4 months ago he’d make a fucking move. He didn’t and said the total opposite. Because he’s an old fucking dope

Maybe the first coherent thing you've said, and at least approaching a fair criticism.

The admin's exit plan was based on accepting the intel that said that the regime and ANA would hold out for weeks/months.  That foundational belief was flawed.  And I think it was likely based in the optimistic thinking that people are unwisely likely to do -- believe it because you want to believe it.  A better path would have been to build your plan around the worst-case scenario, a quick collapse.

Where I have an eyebrow raised is that the Biden admin was not the ONLY outfit to make that bad bet.  All of our allies made the same bet, and accepted the same intel.  When all the dust clears, I am going to be very interested in reading the history on the intel briefings, who said what, and who believed what.

The fork in the road that made this worse than it might have otherwise been was absolutely the unanticipated (which should have been anticipated) rapid collapse of the ANA.

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Anastasis

Anastasis 23,478

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, aggie08 said:

1) Fuck off with the "you voted for this clown" takes. Nothing in four years has suggested Trump to be some kind of brilliant tactician. He would have been in the same meetings with the same generals deciding between bad options, hoping he picked the bad option, not the worse one. Who the fuck knows if it would have turned out differently, but precedent isn't on his side.

Not to mention an intelligence community trying to influence political perception by floating bullshit like Russia was paying bounties to ISIS to bomb to kill troops at the airport and Trump didn't do shit. 

Edited by Anastasis
  • Hook 'Em 1
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beantown Express 2.0

Beantown Express 2.0 6,559

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:

You can't POSSIBLY be this dumb.  Seriously.  It has to be a bit.

The Taliban doesn't want to engage in combat with us.  They want us to GTFO.  BUT....of we broke our "GTFO promise".....then they sure as fuck would have engaged in combat with us.  They did it before, they'd do it again.  For now, the best path to them securing their goal (a takeover of Afghanistan) is for us to GTFO, so they weren't going to attack and provoke us into staying.

Break our promise, and they would change course.

In any case, the Taliban isn't attacking us right now.  Other elements -- who can operate in a country with no real authorities -- are doing so.  They are the chaos, rushing into the vacuum that our exit was inevitably going to create.

It’s a bit.  He is a troll.  Always been a troll and always will be a troll.  A dumb fucking troll but a troll nonetheless.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8,817

Posted
Posted
You can't POSSIBLY be this dumb.  Seriously.  It has to be a bit.
The Taliban doesn't want to engage in combat with us.  They want us to GTFO.  BUT....of we broke our "GTFO promise".....then they sure as fuck would have engaged in combat with us.  They did it before, they'd do it again.  For now, the best path to them securing their goal (a takeover of Afghanistan) is for us to GTFO, so they weren't going to attack and provoke us into staying.
Break our promise, and they would change course.
In any case, the Taliban isn't attacking us right now.  Other elements -- who can operate in a country with no real authorities -- are doing so.  They are the chaos, rushing into the vacuum that our exit was inevitably going to create.

We can do whatever the fuck we want. They’re not going to do shit and can’t do shit against us. We leave on our terms.
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Longhorn_Fan68

Longhorn_Fan68 33,876

Posted
Posted
Just now, BabaYaga said:

He is leaving.  He is also leaving thousands of stranded civilians 

really? please cite your sources. this one, by the super libruhl rag Reuters, says there are about 1500 Americans left to evacuate. Please show the thousands more. I'll wait.

https://www.reuters.com/world/evacuations-afghanistan-by-country-2021-08-26/

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Zepol87

Zepol87 9,188

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


We can do whatever the fuck we want. They’re not going to do shit and can’t do shit against us. We leave on our terms.

You have said something similar to this a few times. Why do you think this? I don't know how anyone can see the last 20 years happen and think like this

  • Hook 'Em 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
The Ace of Aces

The Ace of Aces 5,192

Posted
Posted
37 minutes ago, BabaYaga said:

It was suggested by the generals specifically because it was easy to control, had much longer runways for these massive military airlifts that are flying the vast majority of people out on, and isn't a giant fucking bowl ringed my mountains that we don't control.  And we had the troops strength with the ANA, who cut bait BECAUSE we abandoned Bagram.  

This rest is just blabbering nonsense.  So now we HAVE to use Kabul?  Dafuk?  Fleeing civilians out in the open can be much easier to protect and assets can target attacks on them unlike in dense urban areas where the Taliban and embedded.  This is arguably the THE single biggest fuckup Biden made for the entire exit.  Jesus Christ, you pick arguably the hardest point to defend to leave from.  Unreal....

You keep saying this. Repeating a lie over and over and over does not - no matter what MAGAers think - make it true.

Bagram is about 30 miles from Kabul. You can’t move 100,000+ soldiers and equipment 30 miles safely in this environment. This isn’t a 30 mile drive down I-10. No one on the military involved in logistics believes you can. My source: my grandfather who is a general and was responsible for Korea logistics. 

  • Hook 'Em 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
wildcat09

wildcat09 29,355

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:


We can do whatever the fuck we want. 

Wow. Thank you for this real, uncut 2002 Republican "LET'S GLASS THE WHOLE FUCKING MIDDLE EAST" take. It's been so long, I forgot that things were just as stupid then as they are today.

Call of Duty isn't real life. 

  • Hook 'Em 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8,817

Posted
Posted
You have said something similar to this a few times. Why do you think this? I don't know how anyone can see the last 20 years happen and think like this

Because of who we’re dealing with. It’s the equivalent of fighting an army from world war 1.


Why did we wait until they Taliban was outside of Kabul to start shredding documents and evacuate?
Link to comment
Share on other sites
RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29,937

Posted
Posted
23 minutes ago, Captainant said:

Care to point out the plurality of posts on this board that say biden did a good job? Because I don't see anyone saying it worked out all nice and cleanly - but don't let me get in the way of your unsourced and uncited lies.

 

36 minutes ago, Muy Frio said:

The one upside to this fiasco is we can finally dispense with the notion thrown about here that CR is somehow moderate. Much water being carried here for this fiasco.

 

It's all they got, man. They finally had to let go of the Hillary Isn't President thread. They had to wait seven whole months for this, something other than Biden's illusory feebleness, to come back into the big room and sing their old songs. 

There's even a new song. It's the B Side of "Kids Don't Even Get Covid!" (a huge hit with the hix in the stix!). It's called, Hey, It Only Killed 385 Kids! That's a strong follow up to last year's, It's Just the Flu! and You Put the Clorox in the Malaria Pill and Drink 'Em Bote Down.

Why should we spoil their black-hearted, irony-deaf, murderous dance on the big stage? We should join them in celebrating the FACT! that only 385 kids will die of Covid! It's not like all the schools haven't yet started or incubation takes a while.

These dickheads have it all figured out; we're just all snowflake pussies because we can't nut up and shrug off the needless deaths of hundreds of children already and to come. We should have joined them in shrugging off all the school shootings especially that Sandy Hook hoax.

They're really tough guys. They shut down Pizzagate. They didn't really support Trump. They are just brave enough to ask the important questions. Gee, I wish I was like these guys.

They're always fucking right. It's amaaaazzziiiiiinnnnng!

Oh. Wait a minute. Stand by. System resetting. Alternate response chosen. 

spacer.png

  • Hook 'Em 2
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...