Free Rooster

[hornian 5224]

My wife got backyard chicken earlier this year. One of them has turned out to be a rooster. It is free to a bad home. 

[Pato del Muerto 52614]

Just kill it. Nobody wants a rooster, and anyone that needs one probably already has one. 
 

raise it for meat if it’s not too loud.  

[hornian 5224]

Just now, Pato del Muerto said:

Just kill it.

I don’t practice Santeria. 

[idigTexas 2290]

I'm sure there is a minor league first baseman with a cursed glove somewhere.

[mdmost 43056]

Nice cock

[Amos Moses 795]

Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who’s having sex with the hen?

[HornOnTheBayou 8948]

8 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Just kill it.  

You know he ain't gonna die
No, no, no, you know he ain't gonna die

[elfenix 34337]

8 hours ago, hornian said:

I don’t practice Santeria. 

and you clearly ain't got no crystal ball

[Sbbruin 21898]

2 hours ago, Amos Moses said:

Let me understand, you got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So who’s having sex with the hen?

That’s perverse.

[deadshank 24653]

Your wife paid for cock?

What’s wrong with yours?

[hornian 5224]

15 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Your wife paid for cock?

What’s wrong with yours?

It keeps putting babies in her. 

[ztejas 43545]

7 hours ago, elfenix said:

and you clearly ain't got no crystal ball

He had a million dollars but his, his wife spent it all (on chickens).

Edited July 10, 2021 by ztejas

[JohnnyRage 1617]

Does it happen to be black?

[hornian 5224]

7 hours ago, JohnnyRage said:

Does it happen to be black?

Yep. It’s a big black cock. No homo. 

[KaiserSoze 998]

Is it housebroken?

[EE2B 1565]

Wasn’t there a poster with the username Rooster? I thought this was about him.

[Pato del Muerto 52614]

Lilrooster I think. Way back machine engaged. 

[Redneck Mutha 8015]

[hornian 5224]

18 hours ago, KaiserSoze said:

Is it housebroken?

If you don’t care about getting chickenshit everywhere, yes. 

[ROFL BOX 6649]

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

[Poolflood 845]

Many years ago my grandfather wanted to raise pigs.  Captured what he thought were 5 sows.... Well, one wasn't.  3 years later he had like 60 pigs.  Granny was not amused.  

/CSB

[EvilCaseMcCoy 691]

On 7/10/2021 at 7:19 AM, hornian said:

Yep. It’s a big black cock. No homo. 

I went to lowes for some black caulk.  Asking the lady in the paint department had the same effect.

[Incredulity 11683]

[fattyflattie 4638]

On 7/12/2021 at 10:37 AM, EvilCaseMcCoy said:

I went to lowes for some black caulk.  Asking the lady in the paint department had the same effect.

Have also done this.   Also, more recently than I care to admit, I used the term hand job while trying to convey some intricate work done by hand on a board call.  Pretty sure I was the only one who chuckled audibly. 

[Kennythetiger 9478]

Well the rooster he got 20 gals, bet he’s happy as a lark. Wake ‘em in the morning, put ‘em all to bed at dark. 

[hornian 5224]

Turns out 2 more the "hens" are also roosters. 

Also found out that the place the eggs were from will take the roosters back and give us hatchlings in return. So that's the plan. 

I'm tired of these literal 6:30 a.m. wake up calls, gotta get these damn birds sent to the farm. 

[NotActuallyALonghorn 4977]

Lol, did she buy straight run chicks?

[hornian 5224]

3 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Lol, did she buy straight run chicks?

No clue. We got hatchlings when they were 6-8 weeks old from a friend of the wife who hatched them, not from a store with guaranteed hens. She (the friend) had no idea the sex of the chickens. But the place the eggs came from will take them back. 

[Kennythetiger 9478]

3 hours ago, hornian said:

Turns out 2 more the "hens" are also roosters. 

Also found out that the place the eggs were from will take the roosters back and give us hatchlings in return. So that's the plan. 

I'm tired of these literal 6:30 a.m. wake up calls, gotta get these damn birds sent to the farm. 

I don’t recommend you go to Key West for vacation. 
Eat the roosters. You’re going to trade an adult rooster for a baby rooster. Bad trade, amigo. 

[Moby Ric 2058]

How many HDMI ports does your rooster have?

[hornian 5224]

4 hours ago, Moby Ric said:

How many HDMI ports does your rooster have?

Like, 7? 8? I don't know. Whatever it takes to get the damn things out of my yard.

[Redneck Mutha 8015]

[EE2B 1565]

So you are basically taking the chicks, feeding/raising them and then returning them full grown for another chick? If you decide to do that with cows or pigs let me know.

[hornian 5224]

16 minutes ago, EE2B said:

So you are basically taking the chicks, feeding/raising them and then returning them full grown for another chick? If you decide to do that with cows or pigs let me know.

My wife is in charge, so I'll give her your screen name if she decides to go that route. 

[Pato del Muerto 52614]

2 minutes ago, hornian said:

My wife is in charge, so I'll give her your screen name if she decides to go that route. 

Does she know what a straight run of chicks is?

nevermind, I read above. 

Edited July 21, 2021 by Pato del Muerto

[hornian 5224]

4 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Does she know what a straight run of chicks is?

nevermind, I read above. 

I didn't marry her for her homesteading knowledge. Laura Ingalls Wilder, she is not. 

[Bevo 13601]

On 7/19/2021 at 12:26 PM, hornian said:

Turns out 2 more the "hens" are also roosters. 

 

How do you know that they are cocks?

Edited July 21, 2021 by Bevo

[CHIEF 5095]

On 7/21/2021 at 11:55 AM, Bevo said:

How do you know that they are cocks?

Easy, by their foreskin.

CHIEF

[pacman 7371]

Are you sure it was a rooster and not a hen that identifies as a rooster? Did you ask the rooster for their pronouns before you jumped to conclusions?

[tx ind 7013]

On 7/19/2021 at 12:26 PM, hornian said:

 

I'm tired of these literal 6:30 a.m. wake up calls, gotta get these damn birds sent to the farm. 

[Dennis Taylor 18875]

[Prepuce of Doom 21106]

Is it a Super Rooster? 

[Pato del Muerto 52614]

If you haven’t killed him yet, he’s a pet now. Name him Andrew. 

[Longhorn Fever 267]

If you haven’t killed him yet, he’s a pet now. Name him Andrew. 

I assume you meant Andrews?

[Pato del Muerto 52614]

Andrews isn’t a first name, bro. 

[elfenix 34337]

1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Andrews isn’t a first name, bro. 

it's 2021.  any name can appear in any order!