Stupid crap you did when you were a kid

[mchookem 16322]

15 year old me and my bff would sneak out my bedroom window on the reg and our 18/19 year old boyfriends would take us to Tejano nightclubs and house parties in sketchy neighborhoods all over Houston.

if anything had ever happened to us our parents would never have found us 😳 my mother didn't learn the extent of our activities until i was well into my 30s and she still got pissed off.

[immortal13 4059]

18 minutes ago, mchookem said:

15 year old me and my bff would sneak out my bedroom window on the reg and our 18/19 year old boyfriends would take us to Tejano nightclubs and house parties in sketchy neighborhoods all over Houston.

if anything had ever happened to us our parents would never have found us 😳 my mother didn't learn the extent of our activities until i was well into my 30s and she still got pissed off.

I think you might have skipped a chapter...

[mchookem 16322]

48 minutes ago, immortal13 said:

I think you might have skipped a chapter...

...and yada yada yada i was home in time for breakfast!

[Kennythetiger 9376]

6 hours ago, immortal13 said:

I think you might have skipped a chapter...

She mentioned the bisque. 

[Armybrat 40822]

8 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

2.  Went cliff jumping without testing the depth of the water first.  Shattered the bones in my foot.  If I would’ve dove head first, and I considered it, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

A kid in my class did that off a pier on the coast and broke his neck. He died about a month later. That was in the mid 1970s.

Tragic loss for his family - he was an honor roll student and excellent athlete, plus a good all around person.

[956 Worldwide 34702]

A friend’s dad took me and some other 13 year old buddies camping at a state park in south Texas and I brought along one of those wrist rocket slingshots, with the surgical tubing and leather pouch. We spent some time plinking at birds and shooting rocks into the resaca.

One of us went back to the tent for a while and when he was coming back, we got the idea to “scare him” by whizzing a rock past his ear. Well, turns out I was not that good of a shot. That rock thudded right into his noggin and I learned the expression “drop like a ton of bricks.” He went down immediately and nothing broke his fall.

He was pissed off as all hell when he came to, rightfully. But he was pretty damn cool and just bided his time and didn’t rat me out to his dad. We didn’t say a word to each other till his dad dropped me off and he said “see you later.”

I am damn lucky it didn’t hit him right in the temple. 

[Kennythetiger 9376]

17 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

 We didn’t say a word to each other till his dad dropped me off and he said “see you later.”

In the spirit of this thread, I hope you said, “Not if I see you first.”  

[smuggs 9353]

16 hours ago, honolulu horn said:

Back in the old days, Lakeway was a sleepy retirement area with a very small police force. We entertained ourselves by heading up to the golf course pro shop at night (up on  the hill, visible from a long distance), throwing a bunch of dry trees or whatever would burn into the dumpster, setting it on fire, and then waiting for the police to come so we could run from them into the various woods and yards surrounding the pro shop. 

One time we had the great idea to use model airplane / model rocket fuel to create a "tunnel of fire" in one of the golf cart paths that went under a road. We sprayed the fuel all around the circular tunnel but it inevitably rained down on us from the ceiling and curved walls. But undeterred and stupid as we were, we ignited the fuel anyway. It never created the tunnel of fire that we envisioned but did manage to set our friend Dave's legs on fire. 

On one of these night time escapades with @honolulu horn I sprinted through a line of cedar trees while stealthily dodging a Lakeway patrol car, only to run full speed into a waist-high cactus directly on the other side. I jumped onto the golf cart that we had "borrowed" and went back to our command center. Mother Nature had stapled my jeans to my legs via a hundred cactus needles. It took me half an hour to get my pants off plucking needles out of my legs from thigh to ankle.

 

[Gladeite 375]

I started early, was lucky to finish childhood and sorry for the emotional pain inflicted on grandparents.  At 5, grandfather was teaching me how to cut hay bales when feeding the horses/cows.  First one, I slid the blade under the twine and pulled up just like he showed me.  Cut the twine and knife went into the socket just above the eyeball. Blade slid on top of the ball.   Very lucky to not have a bad ending with that one.  Healed up nicely and grandmother was babysitting while parents working.  I showed her Superman on TV and I wanted a cape.  She got out a towel, made a clasp, and I paraded around the house as Superman.   While she was not looking, I went outside to conquer robins, red birds, spiders, etc...  Thought if I concentrated hard enough, I could fly.  My inaugural flight from a raised porch ended on the concrete sidewalk.  Head split open.  She held my head in her lap as she drove to the hospital.  I still remember her dress and front seat being covered in blood.  It took awhile for her to recover from that one.  A few years later, Evel Knievel was the man and I loved jumping my bicycle off ramps.  My other grandmother had a wire clothesline at the end of her yard and then a moderate slope of about 10 feet from there to another flat area.  My 12 year old brain did some complex math calculations.  I could build a ramp under the clothesline, launch and land on the downslope just like I had seen Evel do on TV.  Made my ramp, was able to reach desired velocity.....and launched into the last wire of the clothesline with my face.  It cut all the way thru between my chin and lower lip.  Another mad dash to the hospital, driven by an upset grandmother who could see my teeth while my mouth was closed.  

[SurlyGator 865]

Ninja camp.

Neighborhood kids decided to set up a bunch of booby traps in a vacant lot in the subdivision (Murcoland, holla!)  Fishing wire trip line, dug a hole and covered it with cardboard and a little sand, chopped a small tree almost all the way through so a good shove could drop it on someone, that kind of stuff.  None of the regular gang was fooled by any of them, mostly because we all helped make it.

However, there was a slightly younger kid visiting his grandparents from out of town.  That kid hit every one.  The final scene in the ninja camp saga was when he walked under the tree where we had a metal gallon bucket at least half full of dirt with a rope tied to the handle, thrown over a high branch and up at least 20 feet.  Yours truly was holding the rope.  Teenager me didn’t realize I could kill this kid until just after I let go of the rope.  I was able to slow it down a bit, which limited the damage to a few stitches and a knot on his noggin.  I’m lucky I didn’t give him a TBI.

Don’t even remember the kid’s name.  So dude, if you’re out there, sorry about the head wound!

[Frank The Tank 1496]

9 hours ago, conVINCEd said:

 

3. Ran a bookie operation out of my locker in high school.  Got caught.  Had sufficient blackmail material to get off with a slap on the wrist.

Were you taking bets from teachers or what?

[markstanco 12571]

Probably BB gun wars with the red rider (ryder?) single pump gun.  No, we werent wearing the proper ANSI Z87.1 safety glasses either.  No idea how we all have our sight. 

Edit: It just hit me why that is likely...we aimed for the shins because that hurt more and no aiming for the head (like that helps).

Edited July 14, 2021 by markstanco

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

17 minutes ago, markstanco said:

no aiming for the head (like that helps).

The funny rules we always made up to insure no one was really hurt...

Bottle rocket wars, but no aiming at anyone's face!!! (As if you could control the trajectory) 

[Prepuce of Doom 21053]

24 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

The funny rules we always made up to insure no one was really hurt...

Bottle rocket wars, but no aiming at anyone's face!!! (As if you could control the trajectory) 

We always had a sort of gentlemen's agreement about not firing from an unreasonably close distance. 

As you can imagine, one's opinion of fair distance generally depended on which end of the wiffleball bat you were on... 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

2 minutes ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

depended on which end of the wiffleball bat you were on... 

Holy shit. The rules surrounding the proper use of the wiffleball bat (as used in actual wiffleball and as swords) were probably more concrete than most country's constitutions. 

[conVINCEd 21469]

1 hour ago, Frank The Tank said:

Were you taking bets from teachers or what?

The married principal’s side piece was the divorced PTA president, who happened to be one of my friend’s mom.  His wife also happened to be my history teacher.  We saw him leaving her house one day and he looked guilty.  He saw us and we saw him.  The next time I got caught leaving campus for lunch he told me I was going to get 2 days of detention and I just looked at him for a few seconds.  He let me off with a warning.  There was sort of an unwritten understanding between us from that point forward.  He divorced his wife a year after I graduated and married my friend’s mom.

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

Friends Dad was a roofer in a small town outside Wichita Falls. Mostly county roads.

We decided one night to lay out a bunch of roofing nails in the road and watch from the roof as cars drove by.

We replaced two sets of tires.

[MissingInAction 25013]

Set a lot of stuff on fire. In the 80s the big boogeyman were satanic cults so I painted a lot of pentagram graffiti in fake blood.

[deadshank 24652]

44 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Friends Dad was a roofer in a small town outside Wichita Falls. Mostly county roads.

We decided one night to lay out a bunch of roofing nails in the road and watch from the roof as cars drove by.

We replaced two sets of tires.

Windthorst or Iowa Park?

[MissingInAction 25013]

I fucked a jar of peanut butter.

[tfoolry 8202]

2 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

We always had a sort of gentlemen's agreement about not firing from an unreasonably close distance. 

As you can imagine, one's opinion of fair distance generally depended on which end of the wiffleball bat you were on... 

 

 

[Helobious 9450]

When I was a kid one of my friends lived in a house that backed up to a 4 lane road. He had a trampoline in his backyard. We’d play a game where you’d wait to hear a car coming, jump as high as you could, and throw a rock as high as you could but into the road to try and hit the car. Idea being if you did hit the car the trajectory would make it impossible to tell where it came from (actually genius thinking for elementary kids). 
 

I guess we figured the timing thing was so impossible, and the rocks weren’t that big, so it wasn’t a big deal. We never hit any cars. Until one day I heard a truck coming, got a great bounce and a super high throw. That thing must’ve come down directly square on the windshield. I heard the glass crack, brakes squeal, and the truck swerved into the oncoming lanes. Luckily there were no other cars on the road. We both booked it inside and never told anyone and never did it again. Probably lucky I didn’t kill anyone. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

Windthorst or Iowa Park?

Holliday

[Ojo Rojo 1954]

All of this throwing rocks at cars stuff, dang.  That shit is dangerous.  I seem to remember a news story from a year or two ago where four teens were throwing rocks off an overpass at cars and actually killed someone.  I think those kids got prison time.  I never considered doing that, probably because throwing rocks was verboten in our household ever since a neighbor kid threw a rock and hit my brother in the face with it and my dad almost killed that kid.

[deadshank 24652]

4 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

Holliday

Did he work for Lydick-Hooks?

[deadshank 24652]

28 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

I fucked a jar of peanut butter.

Lid off or on?

[Shoxthemonkey 1977]

33 minutes ago, MissingInAction said:

I fucked a jar of peanut butter.

Chunky?

[Hook1997 5351]

Use to go to a subdivision out in the county all the time with my parents to visit friends.  Andy who’s around 8, who’s parents we were visiting was at a neighbors that had a bit older kids like 12/14/15 boys.   I was like 10/11, walk over to neighbors and don’t see anyone in the front yard then I get around the back and see the brothers have Andy tied to a tree and are hitting him with a whip and I’m pretty sure they shot him with a BB gun a couple times.  I stand a safe 20 yards away for a bit then I’m like nope I’m out and took off.   
 

Worst I did as a little kid was wreck my four wheeler in various ways.  

[MissingInAction 25013]

11 minutes ago, deadshank said:

Lid off or on?

Off. I didn't NowThis the jar, and it was creamy.

[tbone_ 14112]

Use to go to a subdivision out in the county all the time with my parents to visit friends.  Andy who’s around 8, who’s parents we were visiting was at a neighbors that had a bit older kids like 12/14/15 boys.   I was like 10/11, walk over to neighbors and don’t see anyone in the front yard then I get around the back and see the brothers have Andy tied to a tree and are hitting him with a whip and I’m pretty sure they shot him with a BB gun a couple times.  I stand a safe 20 yards away for a bit then I’m like nope I’m out and took off.   
 
Worst I did as a little kid was wreck my four wheeler in various ways.  

That’s fucked up

[hookemATL 11703]

11 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

That’s fucked up

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

Did he work for Lydick-Hooks?

Nah. He was on his own.

[honolulu horn 6158]

2 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

Off. I didn't NowThis the jar, and it was creamy.

This post rivals the "Unless he committed to Oklahoma freakshow, and I am the idoit" post in its elegance.

[honolulu horn 6158]

2 hours ago, Hook1997 said:

Use to go to a subdivision out in the county all the time with my parents to visit friends.  Andy who’s around 8, who’s parents we were visiting was at a neighbors that had a bit older kids like 12/14/15 boys.   I was like 10/11, walk over to neighbors and don’t see anyone in the front yard then I get around the back and see the brothers have Andy tied to a tree and are hitting him with a whip and I’m pretty sure they shot him with a BB gun a couple times.  I stand a safe 20 yards away for a bit then I’m like nope I’m out and took off.   

Holy shit. That's awful. 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

No shit. That’s the type of stuff that will scar a kid for life. The parents had to have hit the fan later.

[tbone_ 14112]

If he told them

[Wally Fairway 5541]

too many to remember, but here is a few
a) snow balling cars (gotta do something in the winter)
k) bumper jumping cars (see not above)
q) bottle rocket/roman candle fights/wars
x) shooting tennis balls out of soup can launchers held together with duct tape, using lighter fluid for a power source

I'd love to see what my older son would list - one of my favorites was finding out he was skateboard surfing behind his Honda 80 (lots of road rash that day)

[Hook1997 5351]

Yea he never told the parents from what I remember.  The story I got later I’m pretty sure he did something like hit one of them in the face with a bb right before that and shot another point blank or something he was a little shit.  

26 minutes ago, tbone_ said:

If he told them

 

30 minutes ago, T’Boo Ted Marshall said:

No shit. That’s the type of stuff that will scar a kid for life. The parents had to have hit the fan later.

 

1 hour ago, honolulu horn said:

Holy shit. That's awful. 

 

[Al_4_ISU 12451]

I grew up in the 90's/early 00's 4 miles from a paved road between two towns (one was incorporated and 140 people, the other unincorporated and had roughly 25 people) on a hog farm.  So it was pretty isolated, and isolation lead to a lot of stupid shit.

We had a couple dirt bikes, a 3 wheeler, and a snowmobile and found all sorts of stupid shit to do on those.  The dumbest was probably trying to get me, my brother, and a buddy of ours the 5 miles into town from our house.  We only had one working dirt bike at this time and a bicycle.  So we went into the hog barn, and found the stash of twine string that we had pulled off the straw bales we used to give the hogs a warm, dry place to lay.  We tied about 10-15' of twine to the back of the dirt bike, and then to the front of a bicycle.  We took off for town with two guys on the dirt bike (a Honda 250cc 4 stroke) and one guy on the bicycle keeping the string taught with the brakes.  We survived, but the brakes were completely shot on the bicycle and he actually had to bail off the bike as we rolled into his yard, and the now-unstoppable bicycle started to have more momentum than the stopping dirt bike.

Rather than learn our lesson, this became a regular mode of transport.  We must have wrecked 2-3 old Wal Mart mountain bikes in the process.  Other than one minor incident of road rash, we never got (really) hurt.  You don't know fear until you keep twine string taught with Wal Mart bike brakes at 50 MPH.

Some other stupid shit included:

-Tying two saucer sleds up behind a snow mobile and having the occupants of each sled attempt to dislodge each other while being whipped around a snowbound corn or soybean field at high speed.

-Sledding in the road ditch because it was so fucking flat.

-Tying a water ski rope up behind the snowmobile, and snowboarding in the road ditch behind the snowmobile.

-Paintball wars that escalated into seeing who could handle being shot in the bare chest with the velocity cranked.

-Cattle prod wars (just trying to shock each other with hog shockers/cattle prods)

-Hog rodeos (jumping on a pig's back and seeing how long you could stay on, inside a narrow concrete pen with concrete floors covered in shit so when you got thrown off it fucking hurt)

-Rolling up literally anything that would burn into pieces of paper grocery bags or newspaper and try and smoke it (this absolutely had to decimate our lungs and brain cells)

-Pack snowballs full of hog shit, save them at the end of the driveway, and throw them at the school bus at night when we got dropped off.

Edited July 14, 2021 by Al_4_ISU

[tbone_ 14112]

Hog Shit is a good alt punk band name.

[Hpara759 1778]

5 hours ago, MissingInAction said:

I fucked a jar of peanut butter.

 

[T’Boo Ted Marshall 2732]

Yea he never told the parents from what I remember.  The story I got later I’m pretty sure he did something like hit one of them in the face with a bb right before that and shot another point blank or something he was a little shit.  
 

Paul Harvey voice…and now the rest of the story.

[Wiler77 1566]

On 7/13/2021 at 4:18 PM, Patricio Swayze said:

In junior high, a buddy and I would shoplift nudie mags from the convenience store and sell them at school.

I'm 95% sure we figured out on the Shag that we went to elem. through High School together in NW Houston.  And college for that matter.

And with that being the case, I'm pretty sure I either bought one of the mags or shared in the fun from someone that did.  LOL.

 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

8 hours ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Holy shit. The rules surrounding the proper use of the wiffleball bat (as used in actual wiffleball and as swords) were probably more concrete than most country's constitutions. 

And more respected regularly .

 

Wiffle ball rules are sent from a high mountain top, carved into a stone scoreboard 

[ROFL BOX 6647]

Me & John would Scotch tape cheap plastic darts to a ceiling fan, set it to high speed & turn the wall switch on while we would hide behind couch cushions.

6 darts & it was always a concern if you went a long time after the 5th "thump"... ¿Did you count correctly? Definitely fun to have one hit your cushion.

Back in 1st grade, there was a shortcut to school (Wilton Manors) through some rando back yard & the guy on the other side of the wooden fence decides to put a stop to that by running a strip of wood with nails poking up through it & that didn't deter us much. We were young & didn't understand the 30 seconds to 1 minute delay was worth the safety.

My brother would use pliers to pop the lead off a .22 LR & light the empty shell from the front side. Thankfully this wasn't anywhere indoors... usually a sidewalk.

Got shot in the foot once by a neighbor who was popping lizards with his Co² BB gun.

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

[Orale 1087]

I lived a couple blocks from a seedy strip joint. When I was about 12, my buddy and I would park our bikes behind a dumpster across the street from the back door of the club and throw big rocks at the back door hoping they would open the door and we'd get a glimpse inside.

After doing this for 10 minutes the back door flew open before we could hide behind the dumpster and a big pissed off bouncer dude came out and spotted us. I went back behind the dumpster while my buddy got on his bike and made a run for it back to my house. The bouncer got in his car and caught up to my buddy and cut him. He told him he'd beat the shit out of him if he ever came back.

Once my buddy took off and the dude chased him I took off in the opposite direction. We still laugh about it to this day.

[Hook1997 5351]

29 minutes ago, Orale said:

The bouncer got in his car and caught up to my buddy and cut him. He told him he'd beat the shit out of him  

So the bouncer shanked a 12 year old? For throwing rocks at the back door?  Lol

Edited July 15, 2021 by Hook1997

[Ojo Rojo 1954]

7 hours ago, Hook1997 said:

Use to go to a subdivision out in the county all the time with my parents to visit friends.  Andy who’s around 8, who’s parents we were visiting was at a neighbors that had a bit older kids like 12/14/15 boys.   I was like 10/11, walk over to neighbors and don’t see anyone in the front yard then I get around the back and see the brothers have Andy tied to a tree and are hitting him with a whip and I’m pretty sure they shot him with a BB gun a couple times.  I stand a safe 20 yards away for a bit then I’m like nope I’m out and took off.   
 

Worst I did as a little kid was wreck my four wheeler in various ways.  

And then that kid put some dynamite in a lady's mailbox and blew her up, which caused this chain reaction that ended up with the kid's friend with no arms or legs.

[Okie State 3815]

It's funny to me how everyone's Dad had a stash of nudie magazines. Mine had a collection of Playboys from the 80's including the famous Vanna White edition. Legend has it he tried to throw them away...read my Mom told him to...and the trashmen refused to take them. Thank goodness for those trashmen or we may have never found them.

[conVINCEd 21469]

3 minutes ago, Okie State said:

It's funny to me how everyone's Dad had a stash of nudie magazines. Mine had a collection of Playboys from the 80's including the famous Vanna White edition. Legend has it he tried to throw them away...read my Mom told him to...and the trashmen refused to take them. Thank goodness for those trashmen or we may have never found them.

Had a friend whose dad had a massive collection.  No Playboys or Penthouses.  Hustler was the most conservative offering.