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What the fuck is wrong with you, Austin?

crash_davis

By crash_davis
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crash_davis

crash_davis 23096

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21 minutes ago, PvilleStang said:

Where is @Nicole44?!

 

 

 

6 minutes ago, Ghost of LL said:

Another dark-haired gay man from out of town?

 

I mean, not that there’s a pattern or anything.

Did he at least get some good bbq and have a fun scooter ride before getting kilt?

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Bozo_Casanova
Bozo_Casanova

Well for starters it’s the one and only good public buidling we’ve got and it’s so popular that pretty millennial women take their instagram shots and hang out in groups on nice afternoons on the outs

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19449

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2 hours ago, Ghost of LL said:

Another dark-haired gay man from out of town?

 

I mean, not that there’s a pattern or anything.

Yes, the pattern is just in the last few years---Austin has invented things called Bars and a Lake.  We never, ever had those.  So that's why there weren't any deaths until just recently.  The silence from Police administration on this is the more troubling part.  At this point, one could charter one of those pedal bike pub cart deals, put 10 guys on it matching the pattern, send it fucking straight into Town Lake and watch them drown and City of Austin would be like, "Well, it's impossible to know how certain crimes occur."  

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45880

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On 4/5/2024 at 11:10 PM, Brisketexan said:

I, literally today, registered my truck. For the first time since 2013. The gal said it’s the longest gap she’s ever seen. I lied and said it had been on my ranch for the past 10 years.

I'm not anywhere near that far out on my daily driver, but I'm expired.  Fortunately I don't drive much.  Covid grace period amplified my laziness.

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Brisketexan

Brisketexan 105053

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Who was it that had a jihad level of hate for her on the old board?  [mention=339]Gardner Barnes[/mention] maybe?
I’ve always found her kind of attractive but NIMBY shrew mom is my fetish.  

Well then, she’s definitely in your wheelhouse.
She’s turrible.
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YGIFS

YGIFS 19449

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Are "belumps" those annoying things we have around Austin between the bike lanes and traffic lanes that are like 6" tall, white, with the holes on the side?

Wait, who we talking about again?  

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LCHorn

LCHorn 2612

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11 minutes ago, HornOnTheBayou said:

But isn't she just the ugly step-sister of Troxclair? Obviously conservative, but can't say it too loud in Austin?

Troxclair is more Ron Paul.  Fitlump isn’t obviously anything but good at reading the room.  It’s not like her district is going to elect a Donna Campbell.

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texasdago

texasdago 7564

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Welp, after visiting my parents in Houston again, I have to kiss the ground that our local news is not as downright miserable as Houston.  That and I returned without a red light runner killing me so I've got that going for me.

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Samson's Wig

Samson's Wig 3190

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On 4/5/2024 at 5:45 PM, chainsaw said:

Yeah that's true gun culture and availability are very different. I still don't see why there has to be 225 cops for every 100,000 residents. It reminds me of dairy lobbyists saying we should consume way more milk than most people can tolerate. Toronto's crime situation might not be perfect, but I've seen no evidence that it's any worse than most major cities in the US. Dallas, for example.

Dallas has 226 cops per 100k residents (so it meets this arbitrary standard) with 778 violent crimes per 100k people. That's a higher violent crime rate than Toronto. Maybe it's the guns, but Austin has guns too yet way fewer violent crimes per 100k people. All the same incentives for "under reporting" the violent crime rate in Austin are present for Dallas and Houston, where the violent crime rates are much higher despite having more police per capita than Austin.

Austin might have the right amount of cops, or it might have too many. But they are definitely overpaid and we definitely do not need more of them.

 

We are almost entirely in agreement here.

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crash_davis

crash_davis 23096

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When they ban Pop Tarts, only criminals will have Pop Tarts.

https://www.fox7austin.com/news/man-assaults-employee-with-pop-tarts-austin-texas.amp

According to arrest documents, a store employee accused Steele of shoplifting, leading to an argument between the two in the parking lot.

Police said video captured the moment the altercation escalated and Steele threw Pop-Tarts at the employee, hitting them in the collar bone and causing minor injury.

Steele remains in jail on a $1,500 bond.

 

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crash_davis

crash_davis 23096

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Good news. Watson is running for re-election. I can't name one fucking thing that was accomplished from his current tenure. I guess the good news is that he didn't open the city to become a giant homeless camping free for all. Our expectations are real low at this point.

Campaign slogan: "I haven't done shit. Please re-elect me!"

https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/get-things-done-austin-mayor-kirk-watson-officially-announces-run-for-reelection/

AUSTIN (KXAN) — Austin Mayor Kirk Watson is officially running for reelection, he announced Wednesday. The mayor had previously told KXAN that was his intent.

“It was always the plan to run for reelection. It’s just that I also wanted to get some things done that needed to be done — in my view — to keep up our momentum at city hall,” Watson said in an interview with KXAN prior to the announcement. One of those things, finding a permanent city manager. “We landed that plane and taxied it to the gate last week and so it’s now time to move on to other things.”

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crash_davis

crash_davis 23096

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15 minutes ago, Samson's Wig said:

That's just about the sexiest campaign slogan I can think of. 

"Bike lanes house the homeless."  

That makes no got damned sense but hits all the feels and will get him re-elected for sure.

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Bozo_Casanova

Bozo_Casanova 26434

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4 hours ago, crash_davis said:

Good news. Watson is running for re-election. I can't name one fucking thing that was accomplished from his current tenure.

If a hugely consequential and incredibly surgical land use reform package while also unfucking the CMs office and three public safety agencies and getting multiple city enterprises back on the rails while also operating in a weak-mayor system doesn’t move the needle for you, I don’t know what to tell you. You don’t have to agree with what he’s done, but he’s done a LOT. 

 

 

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chainsaw

chainsaw 9854

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49 minutes ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

If a hugely consequential and incredibly surgical land use reform package while also unfucking the CMs office and three public safety agencies and getting multiple city enterprises back on the rails while also operating in a weak-mayor system doesn’t move the needle for you, I don’t know what to tell you. You don’t have to agree with what he’s done, but he’s done a LOT. 

 

 

triumph the insult comic dog conan25 GIF by Team Coco

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Shaggy3.0

Shaggy3.0 1695

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On 4/9/2024 at 7:45 PM, LCHorn said:

Who was it that had a jihad level of hate for her on the old board?  @Gardner Barnes maybe?

I’ve always found her kind of attractive but NIMBY shrew mom is my fetish.  

she has uneven eyes and a fucked up face.

and probably has knobby knees.

wnb

 

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LCHorn

LCHorn 2612

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15 hours ago, Bozo_Casanova said:

If a hugely consequential and incredibly surgical land use reform package while also unfucking the CMs office and three public safety agencies and getting multiple city enterprises back on the rails while also operating in a weak-mayor system doesn’t move the needle for you, I don’t know what to tell you. You don’t have to agree with what he’s done, but he’s done a LOT. 

 

 

This--I'll add for the rest of you low-information council watchers, note how much less you've heard from everyone else over the past year, including Fitlump.  One of the best uses of the mayor's office is to use the additional prestige and resources of the position to herd the cats in a single direction. 

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PvilleStang

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9 minutes ago, LCHorn said:

This--I'll add for the rest of you low-information council watchers, note how much less you've heard from everyone else over the past year, including Fitlump.  One of the best uses of the mayor's office is to use the additional prestige and resources of the position to herd the cats in a single direction. 

You're kidding, right?  This is a joke...  Every time you turn on the news, you have someone from the CC giving their opinion on something stupid that happened today.  Vanessa Fuentes attention whoring all over twitter with her mini-mic.  Hell, I'm seeing more social media interaction from the silent CMs like baby Alter and Paige Ellis.  

 

Watson has done a good job of stirring the cesspool, but he really doesn't have the power to move the needle around here.  The council firing Cronk was the big shitstorm that eclipsed all else.  Detracted from the APD contract, what should have been the firing of the head of Austin Energy... 

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Nicole44

Nicole44 22057

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What the shit? 
 

Woman accused of posing as Uber driver in downtown Austin, drugging and robbing men

https://cbsaustin.com/news/local/woman-accused-of-posing-as-uber-driver-in-downtown-austin-drugging-and-robbing-men#

A woman accused of posing as an Uber driver and robbing men in downtown Austin used stolen credit cards to make over $33,000 worth of fraudulent purchases, according to court documents.

An arrest affidavit said 41-year-old Destini Cionne Robinson is a suspect in at least two incidents that took place in Austin’s entertainment district.

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atomheartbevo

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On 4/11/2024 at 10:44 AM, crash_davis said:

Good news. Watson is running for re-election. I can't name one fucking thing that was accomplished from his current tenure.

That motherfucker can’t even keep emus out of Zilker Park

https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin/two-emus-safely-captured-after-found-running-in-zilker-park/

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Armybrat

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9 hours ago, Nicole44 said:

What the shit? 
 

Woman accused of posing as Uber driver in downtown Austin, drugging and robbing men

https://cbsaustin.com/news/local/woman-accused-of-posing-as-uber-driver-in-downtown-austin-drugging-and-robbing-men#

A woman accused of posing as an Uber driver and robbing men in downtown Austin used stolen credit cards to make over $33,000 worth of fraudulent purchases, according to court documents.

An arrest affidavit said 41-year-old Destini Cionne Robinson is a suspect in at least two incidents that took place in Austin’s entertainment district.

She’s such a charming lass……

 

IMG_2766.jpeg

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Rockwell Torrey

Rockwell Torrey 1280

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10 hours ago, Nicole44 said:

What the shit? 
 

Woman accused of posing as Uber driver in downtown Austin, drugging and robbing men

https://cbsaustin.com/news/local/woman-accused-of-posing-as-uber-driver-in-downtown-austin-drugging-and-robbing-men#

A woman accused of posing as an Uber driver and robbing men in downtown Austin used stolen credit cards to make over $33,000 worth of fraudulent purchases, according to court documents.

An arrest affidavit said 41-year-old Destini Cionne Robinson is a suspect in at least two incidents that took place in Austin’s entertainment district.

One star

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landman

landman 559

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On 4/11/2024 at 3:34 PM, Bozo_Casanova said:

If a hugely consequential and incredibly surgical land use reform package while also unfucking the CMs office and three public safety agencies and getting multiple city enterprises back on the rails while also operating in a weak-mayor system doesn’t move the needle for you, I don’t know what to tell you. You don’t have to agree with what he’s done, but he’s done a LOT. 

 

 

Eliminating street lanes around town, such as on Barton Springs, has been just great as well.  Nothing like bottling up traffic more and more.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19449

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I drive that 'new' Barton Springs Road about 10x/week.  During both peak and off-peak hours, and pleasant as this Spring has been.  I have not seen a singly cyclist.  Lots of scooter riders, but one single, solitary pedal-bike.  Somebody's nephew apparently sold us a shit tone of those white plastic pylon deals and here we are.  It's made the turning situation a bit better, I'll give it that.  But the lane compression has now effectively made Toomey Road the 2nd lane of Barton Springs and that fucking road.  It's so narrow that when it's full of street parking on both side, it's very difficult for two cars to pass one another at the same time.  Bottles the mind.  

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smokebomb

smokebomb 357

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Guess Nicole is back in town:

https://www.kxan.com/news/local/austin-police-medics-responding-to-body-found-in-lady-bird-lake-near-longhorn-dam/

Quote

APD: Body found in Lady Bird Lake, investigation underway

by: Julianna Russ

Posted: Apr 13, 2024 / 07:59 AM CDT

Updated: Apr 13, 2024 / 10:25 AM CDT

AUSTIN (KXAN) — Austin-Travis County EMS said a body was reported in the water near Lady Bird Lake Saturday morning. At the scene, medics found an adult who was then pronounced dead.

The Austin Police Department said an investigation was underway by APD homicide detectives, but the incident was not being investigated as a homicide.

ATCEMS said it responded to a water rescue call at approximately 7:40 a.m. Saturday in east Austin. 

According to police, a fisherman found an unknown person floating in the water. That person was later pronounced dead at 7:52 a.m.

 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19449

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"Reported in the water near Lady Bird Lake"?  Da fuh?  Was it near the lake, or was it in the water?  There's no beach there so pick one or the other.  Either the body was near the shore, or it was dead in the water.  And then "not being investigated as a homicide"?  I mean, I don't want to be insensitive...guy could have fallen off a paddle board or something and couldn't swim. 

Sometimes I picture Nicole like the National Security Adviser in "The Hunt for Red October".......pulling down her glasses and asking, "Let me get this straight Chief, you lost another body on Town Lake?"  

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