What the fuck is wrong with you, Austin?

[Deej 76,830]

24 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

I drive south on Shoal Creek from Anderson Lane to Hancock Blvd several times a month

Sounds like you should get a bike and use those bike lanes. 

[jimmyjazz 45,975]

6 minutes ago, Deej said:

Sounds like you should get a bike and use those bike lanes. 

I ain't biking to burgers or pizza.  I want the full caloric experience.

[HenryJames 66,119]

50 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

Not according to her….she’s lived there for decades. 
Doesn’t matter though, she drives a Subaru.

[Armybrat 40,850]

22 minutes ago, HenryJames said:

Too young for her.

[Wally Pryor 5,261]

2 hours ago, LTtxfan said:

Too much money spent in the wrong areas for the wrong things.  In south austin, I rarely see bikes in any of the new bike lanes they built.

Most all the bikes in south Austin aren't being ridden. They're under the 290 bridge near South Lamar being dressed down by the bums. Used to be at least.  Guessing they're back now if they left. 

[dcar00 14,266]

The stupidity of bike lanes is that they were sold as helping to alleviate traffic.  They actually cause more traffic.  95% of those people are out for recreational biking. not going to the store or work.  

[Hornius Emeritus 12,470]

 

 

 

[PvilleStang 2,911]

10 hours ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

 

 

 

Now where am I going to go to find advice on the best kind of Birkenstocks to buy, or the best reason not to wear deodorant?

[ztejas 43,474]

It's crazy more people don't bike in this city. I mean - it's not even June yet and the heat index is over 100 degrees. You'd have to be crazy to not want to bike to and from work in this weather. 

[PvilleStang 2,911]

Man, what the HELL is going on with 2244 just past County Line?  They choked it down to one lane of traffic yesterday and was a single truck at the edge of the road with a trailer, no markings.  Seems to still be shut down today, but no notices on that.  REALLY screwing traffic ROYALLY.

[Wally Pryor 5,261]

Not surprising that Bijan gets it and knows where to spend his money to help.

But the idiots that run the city still don't. 

Quote

Atlanta running back Bijan Robinson may not live in Austin anymore, but he hasn't left the city behind.

The former Texas RB gave back to the community in a big way this NFL offseason, making a large donation in order to help combat homelessness in the city. According to the NFL Players Association, Robinson donated $300,000 to Mobile Loaves & Fishes in support of Community First Village in Austin.

 

[Deej 76,830]

C'mon, we reduced homelessness by one person when we elected FitLump.

[atomheartbevo 89,727]

On 5/22/2024 at 9:14 AM, hornian said:

Your friend who lives on Shoal Creek must have blinders on. That is one of the most used bike routes in the city. The whole road is full of cyclists most of the day. 

I jog/bike/drive along Shoal Creek almost every day.  It’s possible there are a lot of cyclists who bike together to work, and wear spandex for work, but not sure where they work.

Seriously, it’s a shitload of recreational cyclists.

[Samson's Wig 3,192]

26 minutes ago, atomheartbevo said:

I jog/bike/drive along Shoal Creek almost every day.  It’s possible there are a lot of cyclists who bike together to work, and wear spandex for work, but not sure where they work.

Seriously, it’s a shitload of recreational cyclists.

I'll never begrudge someone who commutes on two wheels.  I ride the motorized version myself.  But yeah, the fucksticks in this town who use bike lanes aren't commuting anywhere.  We're subsidizing their choice of exercise with our time and tax dollars and making the roadways, especially intersections, less safe.  It's no different than if a group of folks preferred to get exercise playing street hockey and demanded the city carve space out of the roadways for them to do so at any time of day they like.

I know there are decent people who cycle for exercise.  I've got friends who do it.  But the cycling community has to have a higher percentage of complete and utter pieces of shit than any other group out there, save perhaps the Southern Baptist Convention.  I think it's likely because it's such a popular pastime for lawyers.

Our kids are at Lamar Middle School, so I'm at the Shoal Creek and Allandale/Northland intersection between 10-20 times a week, just counting the school drop-off and pick-up trips.   At least three or four times every week, I'll be waiting to turn West onto Northland/Allandale from Shoal Creek, the light will turn green, and I'll be stuck waiting on a dipshit to finish taking a long drink of water or finishing up bro-ing out with his fellow cyclist before hiking up his spandex and finally beginning his trek south across the intersection. If you dare to tap the horn, say something, or go ahead and make the turn since they're not moving (after trying your best to get their attention), you have to be prepared for an onslaught of verbal abuse.   That's if you're lucky, and it isn't a cavalcade of bespandexed dipshits doing a group ride who plow through the intersection the entire duration of the light, leaving no time for anyone in a vehicle to turn right.  At least they're moving, I guess.

Is there a word for a group of cyclists, such as "a murder of crows," "a bloat of hippopotami," or "a pandemonium of parrots"?  If not, I'd like to suggest "a sanctimony of cyclists". 

[Mittens 8,285]

As a cyclist who regularly rides in a fairly large group, it's always funny to hear of a cyclist who stopped at a light, but isn't doing everything they can to jump the green.  No less brain dead than the driver w/ their head in their phone, but more ridiculous to me.

[Covri 6,249]

19 minutes ago, Samson's Wig said:

If you dare to tap the horn, say something, or go ahead and make the turn since they're not moving (after trying your best to get their attention), you have to be prepared for an onslaught of verbal abuse.  

Don’t speak, just hit ‘em with the trusty ol’ super soaker 50. I keep mine loaded with lemon lime Gatorade so if it gets in their mouth I’m helping. 
 

[Deej 76,830]

It's piss.

[tbone_ 14,128]

Bespandexed dipshits. Outstanding.

You can tell all you need to know about cyclists by the ridiculous whatever it is they wear.

[UnivTex34 1,763]

I have an e-bike I ride to the grocery store and to pick up the kiddo from daycare. Have considered riding to campus, where I work from South Austin, but for all the fucking bike lanes they have installed in this city, there are not any that make any goddamn sense to allow people to move from the neighborhoods on the fringe of the city to downtown/campus areas. I’ve mapped it out multiple times, and my 10 mile commute by truck would be almost 18 miles each way by bike if I’m only using bike lanes, and 11 of that is east and west, when I’m on a straight line down Lamar/manchaca from campus. It’s fucking stupid and perfectly Austin. 

[Modessit 5,603]

As a cyclist who regularly rides in a fairly large group, it's always funny to hear of a cyclist who stopped at a light, but isn't doing everything they can to jump the green.  No less brain dead than the driver w/ their head in their phone, but more ridiculous to me.

Hahahaha! Cyclists don't stop at lights (or stop signs). I deliver packages all over austin and could seriously reduce the number of cyclists - and e-scooter riders - in this city by just plowing them under when they decide to shoot out across my path directly in front of me when I have a green light.

[Deej 76,830]

29 minutes ago, Modessit said:

17 hours ago, Mittens said:

As a cyclist who regularly rides in a fairly large group, it's always funny to hear of a cyclist who stopped at a light, but isn't doing everything they can to jump the green.  No less brain dead than the driver w/ their head in their phone, but more ridiculous to me.

Hahahaha! Cyclists don't stop at lights (or stop signs). I deliver packages all over austin and could seriously reduce the number of cyclists - and e-scooter riders - in this city by just plowing them under when they decide to shoot out across my path directly in front of me when I have a green light.

[speed817 19,378]

 

 

[Deej 76,830]

I wonder what else she'd do for 20 bucks?

[tomahawk dunk 339]

24 minutes ago, Deej said:

I wonder what else she'd do for 20 bucks?

Make a sandwich?

[Armybrat 40,850]

On 5/30/2024 at 6:43 PM, tomahawk dunk said:

Make a sandwich?

Iron my shirt.

[gsoda3 3,263]

I wonder what else she'd do for 20 bucks?

Make a sandwich?

Iron my shirt.

Not anymore

[stc 1,462]

went to oddwood last night. when we left the coroner was outside taking pictures of a dead guy on the sidewalk. really great way to cap off the evening. 

[HenryJames 66,119]

Pics?

[jimmyjazz 45,975]

Did the dead guy eat there?

[YGIFS 19,452]

11 minutes ago, jimmyjazz said:

Did the dead guy eat there?

Like 'the Stranger' Sam Elliott once said, "Sometimes you eat the bar.  And well, sometimes it eats you."  

[texasdago 7,575]

40 minutes ago, stc said:

went to oddwood last night. when we left the coroner was outside taking pictures of a dead guy on the sidewalk. really great way to cap off the evening. 

Which one was the influencer?

[Deej 76,830]

1 hour ago, stc said:

went to oddwood last night. when we left the coroner was outside taking pictures of a dead guy on the sidewalk. really great way to cap off the evening. 

There's a pond just down the road. Was Nicole unable to finish dragging the body there?

[YGIFS 19,452]

well we've got a pond.  And a pool.  Pond might be better for you.  Natural springs.  

[crash_davis 23,113]

1 hour ago, stc said:

went to oddwood last night. when we left the coroner was outside taking pictures of a dead guy on the sidewalk. really great way to cap off the evening. 

Don't see anything on any of the major news sites so most likely not nefarious.

[stc 1,462]

looked like a homeless guy, i assumed it was an overdose. there was only 1 cop there and she didn't seem too concerned. 

[Deej 76,830]

Police investigating fatal shooting at Northeast Austin Waffle House; shooter unknown

https://www.statesman.com/story/news/crime/2024/06/10/shooter-unknown-in-northeast-austin-waffle-house-shooting/74043686007/

[crash_davis 23,113]

https://www.statesman.com/story/entertainment/2024/06/10/zilker-park-mini-train-ready-austin-texas-summer-family-fun/74017423007/

All aboard, Austin! The Zilker Eagle mini train is finally leaving the station.

The team behind the new train announced a June 12 opening date at a special preview ride for media Monday morning. The launch is a welcome surprise, as only about two weeks ago the train didn't have an opening timeline and needed adjustments for clearance purposes.

 

[crash_davis 23,113]

How does a 51 yr old man still have a roommate? Oh, he's a Travis County assistant DA. Maybe he can act crazy unfit to stand trial and his boss will let him back out on the street immediately.

https://www.kxan.com/news/local/travis-county-assistant-district-attorney-arrested-charged-with-aggravated-assault/

 A Travis County assistant district attorney was arrested Saturday morning on a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon following an argument with a roommate, according to an arrest affidavit.

Joseph Frederick III, 51, was booked in the Travis County jail at 3:49 a.m. by the Austin Police Department, according to Travis County inmate records.

According to the arrest affidavit, Frederick and his roommate got into an argument Friday after Frederick said his roommate was making “googly eyes” at a guest in their apartment.

An argument escalated and the roommate went into his bedroom, locked his door and packed his belongings, the affidavit said. During this time, the roommate told police Frederick was trying to force the bedroom door open and caused damage to the door.

The roommate told police he opened the bedroom door and saw Frederick pointing a silver revolver at him, according to the affidavit. The roommate left the room, and when he returned he saw Frederick point a gun at his face and say, “I’ll shoot you.” 

[hornian 5,219]

8 minutes ago, crash_davis said:

How does a 51 yr old man still have a roommate?

"Roommate"

[texasdago 7,575]

To be fair, who really cares if someone has a roommate or not?  Have you checked rent prices?  Now... the rest of the story... 

[TXLNGHRN10 341]

That booking photo

[crash_davis 23,113]

12 minutes ago, TXLNGHRN10 said:

That booking photo

He's in charge of prosecuting people? No wonder Travis County DA office is fucked.

[zman13 180]

 

"The incident allegedly started when Frederick, who was having trouble streaming porn on a TV, woke the man up to ask for help.

After the man fixed the TV issue, Frederick accused him of flirting with a guest who had been in their home earlier."

Affidavit: Travis Co. assistant DA arrested after dispute over streaming porn (cbsaustin.com)

[Pancho 44,856]

 

[HenryJames 66,119]

7 minutes ago, zman13 said:

 

"The incident allegedly started when Frederick, who was having trouble streaming porn on a TV, woke the man up to ask for help.

After the man fixed the TV issue, Frederick accused him of flirting with a guest who had been in their home earlier."

Affidavit: Travis Co. assistant DA arrested after dispute over streaming porn (cbsaustin.com)

[ABSR 5,315]

29 minutes ago, Pancho said:

 

Not often you can say "Thank goodness the Pit Bull kept his calm and stayed out of it."

[YGIFS 19,452]

4 hours ago, Deej said:

Police investigating fatal shooting at Northeast Austin Waffle House; shooter unknown

https://www.statesman.com/story/news/crime/2024/06/10/shooter-unknown-in-northeast-austin-waffle-house-shooting/74043686007/

I swear that's not the Waffle House location Brisket and I go to.  Allegedly.  

34 minutes ago, Pancho said:

 

Was that  a broken crutch he was hitting the other guy with?  I guess the med supply store was all outta machetes? 

 

Some good news, after 6 years of trying to find a tape measure to see if the little cars with adults sitting in them would clear the tunnel, the Zilker Eagle is ready to roll later this week.  So if you take the scale of the Zilker Eagle and the Project Connect trains and get a ratio of size:time, we should be getting our light rail in 2183. 

[Eskimohorn 5,635]

That booking photo

“Can you keep this between us? I’d hate to lose my Assistant DA job.”

[Evil Bill Obrien 3,286]

4 hours ago, texasdago said:

To be fair, who really cares if someone has a roommate or not?  Have you checked rent prices?  Now... the rest of the story... 

For real the fact that he's a 51 yo Travis County ADA and thats the least insane part of this story is quite something...

[hornian 5,219]

2 hours ago, TXLNGHRN10 said:

That booking photo

 

1 hour ago, crash_davis said:

He's in charge of prosecuting people? No wonder Travis County DA office is fucked.

He has Parkinson's, so...