Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread

[JesusSweatDuck 17,779]

[Armybrat 40,527]

2 hours ago, Bevo14 said:

And even that, their program will crumble when meatpimp goes pro with MickeyD’s

Fify

[BigHornedLurker 1,883]

 

This is actually on page 54 of my BOMC Manifesto I'm working on. 

The first goal is to turn everyone against Vanderbilt , and the bottom of the bottom feeders on ratings as way to make room for FSU and VTech to the SEC. 

From there the natural question becomes 'lets do performance ratings based league payouts' , thus making sure A&M gets knocked down a few pegs 



 

[Armybrat 40,527]

52 minutes ago, texifornia said:

"Ole Miss is using us as a plastic fuck doll" is pretty great

New aggy mascot….

 

[Longhornfrenzy 5,468]

Olin Buchanan is a dipshit 

 

Texas brings nothing the SEC didn't already have, not even corny dogs

 

By Olin Buchanan

July 17, 2024

 

 

DALLAS — Gravedigger. The Kick Six. Punt, Bama, Punt. The Camback.

Iconic football plays and legendary moments just don’t add as much to a college football rivalry as… corn dogs and turkey legs?

Is that how Texas coach Steve Sarkisian’s comments on Wednesday at 2024 Southeastern Conference Media Days should be interpreted?

More likely, Sarkisian was just covering for his boss. Or maybe Sarkisian just has a Fletcher’s fetish.

To explain: Last month at the SEC spring meetings in Destin, FL, Texas athletic director Chris Del Conte — reminding the SEC how lucky it was to join Texas — droned on about how the Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma was now the SEC’s premier grudge match.

“Have you been to the Red River Rivalry yet?” Del Conte asked SEC Network star Paul Finebaum. “It’s ridiculous. It’s the greatest thing ever. You may talk about the Cocktail Party (Florida vs. Georgia), the Iron Bowl (Alabama vs. Auburn). It’s nothing like this game.”

Yeah. Texas-Oklahoma overshadows Alabama’s Jalen Milroe completing a last-second game-winning pass last year. Or Auburn’s Chris Davis returning a missed field goal 109 yards for a win in 2013. Or Cam Newton leading a dramatic come-from-behind 28-27 victory in 2010. Or Auburn’s Bill Newton blocking consecutive punts for touchdowns in the final five minutes in 1972.

 

Anyone who follows college football knows that’s ridiculous.

But Sarkisian, perhaps the good soldier, had his boss’ back.

Sarkisian, once Alabama’s offensive coordinator, has coached in both games.

On Wednesday, he was asked why Del Conte would make that absurd statement.

“This is the most unique game, for sure, that I’ve ever been a part of,” Sarkisian said. “When you pull into the State Fair (of Texas), and you start smelling those corn dogs and turkey legs, and there’s fans from both teams, and then you get in those locker rooms, and the locker rooms literally are 20 feet apart, and you’re staring at each team, and one goes first, the next one goes next, and it can get a little contentious in there, but that’s OK.”

Sarkisian went on to rave about how there is a 50-50 split of fans in a dilapidated Cotton Bowl.

Of course, it’s the same when Georgia and Florida square off every year in Jacksonville in what was once known as the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.

Hey, Lindsay Scott’s miraculous game-winning 92-yard touchdown catch-and-run in 1980 is nothing compared to Oklahoma beating Texas on a three-yard pass last season.

Texas’ misguided self-perceptions of superiority aren’t new.

Just a few weeks ago, Longhorn quarterback Quinn Ewers said: “We’re going to be everybody’s biggest game, for sure.”

Apparently, he’d forgotten Georgia, Alabama, Tennessee, Texas A&M, LSU, Missouri and nine other teams also reside in the SEC.

Also, frequently at SEC Media Days, reporters covering the Longhorns have asked coaches like LSU’s Brian Kelly, Ole Miss’ Lane Kiffin and Georgia’s Kirby Smart to laud the Longhorns.

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

The Longhorns have three SEC road games this fall: Nashville, Fayetteville and College Station. Kyle Field has added over 20,000 seats since Texas’ last visit in 2011.

Smart was asked: “You have Texas this year. Do you consider them to be one of the best, and what stands out to you about them?”

“Every team we play is the best that week,” Smart deadpanned. “Please understand that. In the SEC, humility is a week away.”

Well, maybe not in Austin.

Even legendary Alabama coach-turned-analyst Nick Saban was taken aback by requests to butter up the Horns.

“What kinda tickles me is all these people asking these questions about how Texas always ran the conference they were in,” Saban said. “They’re not gonna run the SEC. There’s a whole lot of arrogant people in a lot of places in the SEC. You know about that. They’ll be a great team and a great program, and Sark will do a great job, but that’s not gonna be a problem.”

Sarkisian said Texas’ goal is to contend for the conference championship.

No problem with that. That’s what every SEC team aspires to do.

But even that was said with an air of superiority.

“At the University of Texas, the standard is the standard,” he said. “Part of that standard is our culture. Our culture is what makes us who we are. We take a lot of pride in our culture. We pour into our culture. We are a very connected group. We love one another. We work with one another. That’s not going to change.”

It’s not like there isn’t standards and great cultures elsewhere in the SEC.

Georgia, which won national championships in 2021 and 2022, has it.

Alabama, which won six national titles under Saban, has it.

LSU, which won a national title in 2019 and is aiming for a third straight season with at least ten wins, has it.

Other teams have strong cultures or are building them.

Texas’ football program doesn’t offer anything the SEC already has.

Not even corn dogs.

It’s just that SEC corn dogs weren’t at the State Fair. They were in Baton Rouge.

 

[Scholz 11,896]

Edited July 17 by Scholz

[RomaVicta 29,500]

Olin seeks to humble the Longhorns by comparing our program and big games to other SEC school's programs and big games. Georgia, Alabama, Auburn, Florida all get mentioned as examples that rival or best Texas.

He couldn't find a single thing that he could claim for A&M. Nothing. Zero. No big rivalry game that anybody cares about. No achievements to crow about. Only reflected and stolen glory.

Pathetic.

[Scholz 11,896]

8 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

…He couldn't find a single thing that he could claim for A&M. Nothing. Zero. No big rivalry game that anybody cares about. No achievements to crow about. Only reflected and stolen glory.

You sir have obviously never seen an aggy/Gamecocks game. The stuff of legends.

[Pato del Muerto 52,036]

2 hours ago, Longhornfrenzy said:

Texas’ football program doesn’t offer anything the SEC already has.

Well put, Olin. 

[Longhornfrenzy 5,468]

[Longhornfrenzy 5,468]

[HtownHorn 14,320]

It is amazing how much they don't understand about THE brands in college football. It's not fucking FSU and Clemson. Shit, FSU has so little brand that their 13-0 team got left out of the 4-team playoff for 12-1 Alabama.

[Gut Wagon 8,028]

I've been assured that aggy has more money than we do, so this shouldn't be among their grievances. But it of course is, because they had to shell out the GDP of Paraguay to get rid of Jimbo. 

[General Specific 3,152]

It is amazing how much they don't understand about THE brands in college football. It's not fucking FSU and Clemson. Shit, FSU has so little brand that their 13-0 team got left out of the 4-team playoff for 12-1 Alabama.

You can tell an aggy… you just can’t tell him much!

Marble heads those fucks.

[Funk Doctor Spock 11,692]

Infection_Ag, meet the ban hammer and a walk to the parking lot to meet with Looch in person. 

[Hagbard Celine 10,515]

i think back to the "standing offer" that filled a thousand jizz jars when i watch their transmogrification of the "gentleman's agreement" which in the last 30 days has been backdated 12 years as part of the consensus reality with ZERO primary or contemporary sources which discussed it, cited it, even a passing mention.  anything.  any source.  any citation.  bueller.

[Hagbard Celine 10,515]

re: 'one of the big storylines of the season will be who has a better year, aggy or the sips'

.... has this topic been cited, mentioned, or discussed *ANYWHERE* outside of the ministry echochamber?

[RomaVicta 29,500]

Yes. Of course. The world is watching to see who does better. The part  of the world that's in College Station, Bryan. and the burbs of Houston.

The remora and the shark are not joined at the hip.

Yes, we had a real shot when 800 pound gorilla fled to the SEC. A&M made the Big 12 so hard.

Hell, we beat them in 98 when they won their last championship. Twenty-five years ago.

[ousux 5,566]

You know, the “12th Man” really can be ultra loud. That made a big difference back in the ‘80s. Their home crowd would be so loud, and then the Ag defense would shift, and the opposing QB would try to call out an audible, but his team couldn’t hear him. 
 
That was 40 years ago. Shortly after, teams developed visual signals for audibling in noisy environments. Since that innovation, home crowds can make noise, but they just can’t rattle and disrupt an offense like before. 
 
40 years. The Ags are still hopeful they can make a difference with their yelling. 

40 years ago students didn't have distractions like phones. Granted aggy has done a good job indoctrinating the student body into the cult, most know all the "yells" by memory to the tiniest detail.

If only the grads that diploma mill churns out were as detail oriented in whatever field they chose to study.

[UncleSonny 6,455]

1 hour ago, Spider2YBanana said:

Infection_Ag, meet the ban hammer and a walk to the parking lot to meet with Looch in person. 

[HtownHorn 14,320]

1 hour ago, Gut Wagon said:

I've been assured that aggy has more money than we do, so this shouldn't be among their grievances. But it of course is, because they had to shell out the GDP of Paraguay to get rid of Jimbo. 

Just remember they had the #1 portal class in the country, even though they lost more talent than they brought back in.

[Funk Doctor Spock 11,692]

5 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

Yes. Of course. The world is watching to see who does better. The part  of the world that's in College Station, Bryan. and the burbs of Houston.

The remora and the shark are not joined at the hip.

Yes, we had a real shot when 800 pound gorilla fled to the SEC. A&M made the Big 12 so hard.

Hell, we beat them in 98 when they won their last championship. Twenty-five years ago.

God I love these. Please don't ever stop with doing these. It's truly a highlight of the day. 

[Funk Doctor Spock 11,692]

5 hours ago, ousux said:

40 years ago students didn't have distractions like phones. Granted aggy has done a good job indoctrinating the student body into the cult, most know all the "yells" by memory to the tiniest detail.

If only the grads that diploma mill churns out were as detail oriented in whatever field they chose to study.

I'm not even kidding, but around 15 years ago my cousin and her now ex (both aggy grads) and their moronic friends began singing their school song while looking at me (the only UT grad), and i  was embarrassed for them. I couldn't even make eye contact. 

Later, she came up to me and asked if there were any hard feelings, and I just asked if they felt like they were on the same planne of existence as the rest of us, and asked if she were embarrassed. Of course she wasn't. But she did somehow end up bringing somewhere around 10-12 hot aggie chicks. So, basically their entire student body of hot women. 

But they did give me directions to the venue for food and alcohol.

Edited July 18 by Spider2YBanana

[RomaVicta 29,500]

9 hours ago, Hagbard Celine said:

i think back to the "standing offer" that filled a thousand jizz jars when i watch their transmogrification of the "gentleman's agreement" which in the last 30 days has been backdated 12 years as part of the consensus reality with ZERO primary or contemporary sources which discussed it, cited it, even a passing mention.  anything.  any source.  any citation.  bueller.

They're doing their usual self-brain(such as it is)washing so the truth in their version of reality is:

1. A&M always had a standing invitation from the SEC. The SEC was in love with them.
2. Texas, sorry, tu bullies and ruins everything so that's why they left the Big 12.
3. A&M leaving the Big 12 had nothing to do with tu.
4. They said they'd play us anytime anywhere, but they never want to play tu again.
5. Texas and OU approached the SEC. No standing invitation.
6. Sanky went behind everybody's back and shoved a knife in noble A&M's.
7. The SEC was reluctant until ESPN (tu subsidiary) forced the deal and forced everybody to act happy about it.

[Longhornfrenzy 5,468]

[RomaVicta 29,500]

1  

2 A new Texag fact is born. Sadly for you, we don't have to try to convince anyone that our program is more prestigious than yours. I'm sure Bama is grateful for you standing up for them.

 

Profound. 

Hard schedule:

Easy schedule:

Looking like a Pulitzer for Olin. 

This message apparently arrived via telegram:

He borrowed William's mother's Camry yesterday to rush up to Dallas to ask the tough questions. The car threw a rod in Corsicana. Otherwise, Sark would have been in deep shit.

[HtownHorn 14,320]

Holy shit, two humility weeks including at aggy. Do they realize you get humility when you lose something you aren't expecting to lose. They are now saying Texas should be favored over their own team, but aggy will humble them. These dumbasses are so stupid.

[Chopper 16,344]

I listened to Sark's SEC-days press conference last night and somehow Olin was one of 4 from the media who were picked to ask questions. The bumbling idiot was so nervous he barely managed to get his dumb question about rivalries out of his mouth.  Sark was gracious in his response and knocked the answer out of the park. Olin's a fucking moron and imo he seems like he was deprived of oxygen at-birth. NTTAWWT

Edited July 18 by Chopper

[BigHornedLurker 1,883]

Aggy is really going to be bitter about this Gentlemans agreement that may or maybe didn't happen, and definitely not on paper, for the next 50 years 

[JesusSweatDuck 17,779]

Apparently Elko is a giant pussy. He's going to fit right in

 

 

 

[Hagbard Celine 10,515]

3 hours ago, BigHornedLurker said:

Aggy is really going to be bitter about this Gentlemans agreement that may or maybe didn't happen, and definitely not on paper, for the next 50 years 

we are so fortunate to live in the current simulation .....

we, the ESiPN subsidiary, have returned, like Lazarus, except we were resurrected by The Devil Snakey, and we are now in the era after the death of Jesus (Jimbo? the bonfire 12?  dog 9?) and before the future aggy Council of Nicea (a.d. 325) to be named the Council of Talkiebird (December, 2024)

in the pre-simulation timeline this era was known as Paleo-Christianity and everything to do with Christianity was totally unsettled

right now, everything aggy took for granted, and with which they have been imprinting each other at fishcamp for the last 50+ years, is totally up in the air

we see this with the flailing and thrashing about that roma is capping for us in adjacent posts

aggy are roiling with uncertainty and doubt, like a molten T-1000

here in the post-9/11 21st century, the age of reason has ended and we have transitioned to the age of un-truth, or more commonly, the post-truth era

so aggy have their work cut out for them, as they are having to condense about 150 years of debate in to 1 offseason, where the Apostolic and Patristic eras are being compiled and compared simultaneously

so, the gentlemen's agreement could become like the Holy Trinity, or like the Book of Judith, get relegated to Apocrypha status, depending on how the Ministry of Information decides what makes the docket for final canonical debate, around about the time the coaster takes it's 2nd crash in October

Edited July 18 by Hagbard Celine

[Getafix 28,362]

 

 

 

Nicely done, PFF ... lulz.

 

 

 

[Longhornfrenzy 5,468]

[JesusSweatDuck 17,779]

10 minutes ago, Longhornfrenzy said:

I think that lady is trying to replace KKL as the most unhinged fan.

[kwood4408 755]

I think that lady is trying to replace KKL as the most unhinged fan.

Plus her analogy makes no sense if we are talking about aggy.

[RomaVicta 29,500]

Reading too much Olin can really kill your standards.

Cue the hysteria! OMG! OMG! OMG!

This guy kind of explains it:

It doesn't just look immature, my friend.

But he makes a good point about Aggie wit and taste:

They berate Richardson as though he is a Longhorn. He's not..

Lastly, accompanied by the usual irony deafness, they turn to William as the standard:

He's redefining class for middle-aged men:

[Redneck Mutha 7,856]

Olin's career peaked in the early 90s when he was covering high school football for the Statesman.

[Sgt Hulk 13,519]

On 7/15/2024 at 9:48 AM, texifornia said:

What the fuck

This is why I support global apocalypse 

[Chopper 16,344]

"It's gay to like blowjobs." Billy Liucci & amigos, 2024.

 

[Pato del Muerto 52,036]

Weren’t lamborghinis too flashy or something just about a month ago when Texas was using them for recruiting purposes?  Now their baseball program being analogized as one is awesome and the poster that wrote it is amazing?

27 minutes ago, Sgt Hulk said:

This is why I support global apocalypse 

You may be in luck

[billfromlaketravis 11,286]

Can we stop it with the Texas and aggy bar analogies please. Most people are intelligent enough to understand that the two schools are quite different and Texas has won a national championship and conference championships within the last 25 years. 
 

It’s like every college football reporter had the same editor in their formative years. “Stew this is great. I think you have a real future in this business. One thing before I publish, could you add a hot chick at the bar analogy about Texas? Our readers really want to imagine a great set of tits when they read articles about college football realignment.”

[Sgt Hulk 13,519]

On 7/17/2024 at 8:43 PM, Spider2YBanana said:

Infection_Ag, meet the ban hammer and a walk to the parking lot to meet with Looch in person. 

Ts mother fucker spittin 

[Hank_Hill 17,676]

Man those nerds are really worked up about a conference media day, something I have never even thought about watching.

[texifornia 56,014]

9 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

Man those nerds are really worked up about a conference media day, something I have never even thought about watching.

What do you mean? We care deeply. Look at our *checks notes* three page thread on it, where one of those pages is entirely about Sam Pittman saying "Embrace the Hog."

[Beau Vine 53,653]

[Carl Spackler 3,456]

2 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

"We have yell leaders give hour long speeches the night before to inspire and instill confidence."  Lulz

Yes, *that's* the critical element that will put aggy over the top in '24!

 

[Beau Vine 53,653]

[Scholz 11,896]

They can convince themselves of anything. “Upgraded staff” after sucking Jimbo’s cock raw for years. 😂 Schemes are different but it’s football so it’s all the same. Blue chippers everywhere except the dozens who portables out. Only to be replaced with G5 dudes (some of whom are already gone).

Clickety Clack MFers!

[Hank_Hill 17,676]

Being pleased that your offense hasn’t changed much(idk how accurate that is) from last years shit show is certainly something 

[Beau Vine 53,653]