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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread


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On 7/27/2024 at 9:59 AM, RomaVicta said:

I think my name may be in there somewhere in size 9 font. Glen Gaspard's brother coached at my hs. He was fun.

A friend of mine took a hit to the stomach or something. I was already out for the season with another knee injury. They brought my friend to the sideline groaning and holding his gut. 

Gaspard turns to me, "RomaVicta, run to the concession stand and get a large coke. Go to the front of the line and tell them it's for an injured player." I did so on my recovering knee. Urgently, I went over a fence and to the front of the line as directed. The sympathetic lady at the counter rushed to fill a large cup with the requested remedy.

The hurt player was one of my closest friends. I retraced my steps carefully balancing speed with care not to spill a drop. I dutifully arrive back at the scene. My friend still moans on the ground. I hand Coach Gaspard the cup.

"Thanks, RomaVicta!" Gaspard drinks it down himself. 

A second short story? It was late in the season, and I was hanging around on the field prior to a game in street clothes knowing I wouldn't play football again. I was wondering if I should even be with the team as I hadn't played a down of a game. I went down in two-a-days which seemed like years before. Remember how slow time moves when you're that young. 

I don't know if he read my face or what. Coach Gaspard sidles up to me. "RomaVicta, where's your tie? Coaches wear ties."

I get moved just recounting that story after not thinking of it in decades.

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"Urgently, I went over a fence and to the front of the line as directed...carefully balancing speed with care."

I thought you were going to say, "Gaspard said, 'if you can run and hop a fence like that you're well enough to play, Get your ass in there!'"

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15 hours ago, Armybrat said:

Bill Miller’s BBQ

About 25 years ago, my father used to go elk hunting on the Forbes Trinchera Ranch in Colorado.  Its a pack-in, tent camp style hunting on horse back.  One year he hunted, some of the other hunters were the Bill Miller BBQ owner/heirs.  Dad said these guys brought and packed in all their own food in ice chests and large containers.  In these were...Bill Miller BBQ and sides.  That's what they ate.  

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The delicious tears that will be overflowing when we land Lockett, Ffrench, and Terry will be too much to handle.

Their heads will explode and they'll go to their usual sips are cheating and already ruining this conference by recruiting for it!!!! Sark is a drunk and I hope he falls off the wagon! This is all Schlossnagle's fault! 

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22 minutes ago, Redneck Mutha said:

Why are those dipshits so worried about not getting any 5 star receivers?  They just need some scrappy, hard-nosed guys who Melk can coach up to block in the Klein flying wedge offense.

I’m sure their 12th man will donate a WR to fill any gaps.

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1 hour ago, Redneck Mutha said:

Why are those dipshits so worried about not getting any 5 star receivers?  They just need some scrappy, hard-nosed guys who Melk can coach up to block in the Klein flying wedge offense.

Doesn't Bucky Richardson have a bunch of kids?

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15 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

The dads fit the same profile, all wearing maroon at least partly. The moms are as stereotypical as you could imagine as well, jorts and bedazzled tops, "BASEBALL MOM" on either hat, shirt, or both. Baseball earrings as gaudy as a Mardi Gras float. 

Very disappointed, I must say, that their t-shirts don't say TWELVE MOM

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44 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I think I posted this in one of the baseball threads but never here. Brauninger is involved with a select baseball organization called, shockingly, "Twelve", and they're based, shockingly, out of Katy. After the Schlossnagle Maneuver, they announced to the parents of their organization that no players on their rosters were allowed to visit or talk to Texas. They're not a good enough organization to make that demand, but they are clearly insecure enough and dumb enough.

When you see their teams, you know who they are before you can read the names on the jerseys. The coaches are all either swole fat or just fat, all with beards and many mullets, sunglasses with the connectors, usually in crocs. The dads fit the same profile, all wearing maroon at least partly. The moms are as stereotypical as you could imagine as well, jorts and bedazzled tops, "BASEBALL MOM" on either hat, shirt, or both. Baseball earrings as gaudy as a Mardi Gras float. 

That description of select baseball coaches, dads, and moms, is accurate for all select teams, regardless of the presence or absence of maroon. It’s a bizarre subculture that I was glad to be out of after my son played it for 2 years and got tired of it. 

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27 minutes ago, nnm said:

That description of select baseball coaches, dads, and moms, is accurate for all select teams, regardless of the presence or absence of maroon. It’s a bizarre subculture that I was glad to be out of after my son played it for 2 years and got tired of it. 

Truth. Both my sons were involved for about 6 yrs a piece. It is definitely a bizarre subculture. 

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4 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I think I posted this in one of the baseball threads but never here. Brauninger is involved with a select baseball organization called, shockingly, "Twelve", and they're based, shockingly, out of Katy. After the Schlossnagle Maneuver, they announced to the parents of their organization that no players on their rosters were allowed to visit or talk to Texas. They're not a good enough organization to make that demand, but they are clearly insecure enough and dumb enough.

When you see their teams, you know who they are before you can read the names on the jerseys. The coaches are all either swole fat or just fat, all with beards and many mullets, sunglasses with the connectors, usually in crocs. The dads fit the same profile, all wearing maroon at least partly. The moms are as stereotypical as you could imagine as well, jorts and bedazzled tops, "BASEBALL MOM" on either hat, shirt, or both. Baseball earrings as gaudy as a Mardi Gras float. 

Have seen this team at some tournaments and this is a 100% accurate representation of these parents and coaches 

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5 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I think I posted this in one of the baseball threads but never here. Brauninger is involved with a select baseball organization called, shockingly, "Twelve", and they're based, shockingly, out of Katy. After the Schlossnagle Maneuver, they announced to the parents of their organization that no players on their rosters were allowed to visit or talk to Texas. They're not a good enough organization to make that demand, but they are clearly insecure enough and dumb enough.

When you see their teams, you know who they are before you can read the names on the jerseys. The coaches are all either swole fat or just fat, all with beards and many mullets, sunglasses with the connectors, usually in crocs. The dads fit the same profile, all wearing maroon at least partly. The moms are as stereotypical as you could imagine as well, jorts and bedazzled tops, "BASEBALL MOM" on either hat, shirt, or both. Baseball earrings as gaudy as a Mardi Gras float. 

12 has some teams that play out of college station too.  My brother had all 3 kids play up there for them.  Elko had a kid on my nephews team at the time. My dad, before he fucking got his Tramatic Brain Injury from falling down and scrambling his brain and became a pants shitting retard basically asked Elko why he/aggy sucked at one of those games. It was seriously uncool and Elko was pissed. He was telling me about it and it was so cringe.  Not near as cringe as shitting your pants 5 times a week though.  Also- this was the B team so even being an Elko when he was the defensive coordinator at aggy wasn't enough to get him on the A team- if that tells you how much junior Elko sucked. 

Since we are telling 12 stories and all- figured I'd post this here.  

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3 minutes ago, Wulaw Horn said:

12 has some teams that play out of college station too.  My brother had all 3 kids play up there for them.  Elko had a kid on my nephews team at the time. My dad, before he fucking got his Tramatic Brain Injury from falling down and scrambling his brain and became a pants shitting retard basically asked Elko why he/aggy sucked at one of those games. It was seriously uncool and Elko was pissed. He was telling me about it and it was so cringe.  Not near as cringe as shitting your pants 5 times a week though.  Also- this was the B team so even being an Elko when he was the defensive coordinator at aggy wasn't enough to get him on the A team- if that tells you how much junior Elko sucked. 

Since we are telling 12 stories and all- figured I'd post this here.  

The vibe of this anecdote is all over the place. I am flummoxed trying to sort out who did what and how I am supposed to feel about. 

Sorry about your dad, though. That's gotta be tough. I'm rapidly approaching the day when I have to care for my parents and I am not looking forward to it. 

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14 minutes ago, Park Gothic said:

The vibe of this anecdote is all over the place. I am flummoxed trying to sort out who did what and how I am supposed to feel about. 

Sorry about your dad, though. That's gotta be tough. I'm rapidly approaching the day when I have to care for my parents and I am not looking forward to it. 

My dad basically cornered Elko at a 12 game (b team) where Elko was watching his untalented kid play and proceeded to ask him a bunch of questions basically that amounted to why did aggy, jimbo and probably him suck so badly at football.  Dad told me about said conversation and it was super cringey. But not as bad as dad is now.  The end. 

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7 hours ago, Longhornfrenzy said:

Truth. Both my sons were involved for about 6 yrs a piece. It is definitely a bizarre subculture. 

My cousin was a part of a select team for years and he was a great baseball player with D1 offers, but he said the baseball was too much bullshit to handle, and then injuries began piling up. He's a millionaire now, so I think he turned out OK. 

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3 hours ago, Wulaw Horn said:

My dad, before he fucking got his Tramatic Brain Injury from falling down and scrambling his brain and became a pants shitting retard basically asked Elko why he/aggy sucked at one of those games. It was seriously uncool and Elko was pissed. He was telling me about it and it was so cringe.  Not near as cringe as shitting your pants 5 times a week though. 

I had no idea your dad became an aggy. 
 

You, Sir, are a wordsmith. 

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11 hours ago, closetojumping said:

I think I posted this in one of the baseball threads but never here. Brauninger is involved with a select baseball organization called, shockingly, "Twelve", and they're based, shockingly, out of Katy. After the Schlossnagle Maneuver, they announced to the parents of their organization that no players on their rosters were allowed to visit or talk to Texas. They're not a good enough organization to make that demand, but they are clearly insecure enough and dumb enough.

When you see their teams, you know who they are before you can read the names on the jerseys. The coaches are all either swole fat or just fat, all with beards and many mullets, sunglasses with the connectors, usually in crocs. The dads fit the same profile, all wearing maroon at least partly. The moms are as stereotypical as you could imagine as well, jorts and bedazzled tops, "BASEBALL MOM" on either hat, shirt, or both. Baseball earrings as gaudy as a Mardi Gras float. 

I was involved in select baseball for way too many years as a pitching coach and miss the shit out of it on rare occasions.  Golf was a better vicarious way to satisfaction with my own son, but I continued to coach after he graduated.  Having said that, I live in Katy so I am on the front lines.  The 12 are just like all other things aggie.  They limit their ability to be elite by branding themselves and eliminating a lot of truly elite players that wont wear that uniform or associate themselves with what the color and number it represents.

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