Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread

[CHIEF 5,093]

Maybe HEB came through and got him some NIL to promote their Papa Murphy's pizzas.

CHIEF

[texifornia 57,000]

 

[texifornia 57,000]

[texifornia 57,000]

[BurntOrange&White 39,934]

5 minutes ago, texifornia said:

 

Any news on that btw?

[texifornia 57,000]

Oh dear. Also who the fuck wipes through their legs. Deranged shit.

[Hank Chinaski 6,315]

1 minute ago, texifornia said:

Oh dear. Also who the fuck wipes through their legs. Deranged shit.

[Mason Ramsey 3,384]

10 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Did these guys not pay attention to the draft a week ago? Richardson and Levis (even in the 2nd) went early based on potential alone. Both had pretty shitty seasons statistically and still went that high. Potential > Production in the NFL Draft.

[Park Gothic 5,046]

11 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Oh dear. Also who the fuck wipes through their legs. Deranged shit.

That's just quality off-season content right there

[SHOOTER12 8,810]

9 minutes ago, Park Gothic said:

That's just quality off-season content right there

Wholly shit....

[Vertigo 20,290]

34 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Oh dear. Also who the fuck wipes through their legs. Deranged shit.

I don't even understand the mechanics of through the legs back to front. 

[Pato del Muerto 52,524]

@RedsCerebrum explain yourself

[TotallyLegit 3,053]

7 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

I don't even understand the mechanics of through the legs back to front. 

I have a highly paid nurse on retainer to wipe my ass 24/7. One of the best in the biz

Edited May 5, 2023 by TotallyLegit

[Pato del Muerto 52,524]

6 minutes ago, TotallyLegit said:

I have a highly paid nurse on retainer to wipe my ass 24/7. One of the best in the biz

Is his name Taylor?

[UDontKnow 10,447]

1 hour ago, Vertigo said:

I don't even understand the mechanics of through the legs back to front. 

 FWIW, 6 is actually the healthiest for the GI tract. Get yourself a squatty potty and recreate the same angle and effect.

[BERT 4,380]

2 hours ago, Vertigo said:

I don't even understand the mechanics of through the legs back to front. 

If i tried 8 i'd slip and fall and break my back in two places

 

Now i want to try it 

[Deej 76,830]

2 hours ago, UDontKnow said:

 FWIW, 6 is actually the healthiest for the GI tract. Get yourself a squatty potty and recreate the same angle and effect.

Number 0 is Kyler Murray.

[msucolt45 4,062]

Just because you sent a recruit a “mailer” really doesn’t mean you’ve communicated.

Hook’em!!!

[TotallyLegit 3,053]

5 hours ago, Vertigo said:

I don't even understand the mechanics of through the legs back to front. 

Sometimes I like to eat nothing but sardines then do a handstand shit. I call it the Golden Corral

[Deej 76,830]

I don't want to know what you're doing with that pig in a blanket. 

[honolulu horn 6,164]

Does Golden Corral really have cooks dress up like chefs? That's pretty funny. 

[TotallyLegit 3,053]

3 hours ago, Deej said:

I don't want to know what you're doing with that pig in a blanket. 

Don't ask; don't squeal

Edited May 6, 2023 by TotallyLegit

[RGBIII 22,840]

20 hours ago, texifornia said:

 

Lying on he internet is fun

20 hours ago, Vertigo said:

I don't even understand the mechanics of through the legs back to front. 

I am a 9 but aim to be a 5 one day

[EastTexan 662]

who could've guessed. aggy screen shots going to shit.

[RomaVicta 29,929]

Yea, it's pretty clear nobody here would waste time on it.

[msucolt45 4,062]

Don’t worry - aggy still doesn’t understand NIL, unless it’s sunflower seeds, beef jerky, or tractors

Hook’em!!!

[SHOOTER12 8,810]

1 hour ago, msucolt45 said:

Don’t worry - aggy still doesn’t understand NIL, unless it’s sunflower seeds, beef jerky, or tractors

Hook’em!!!

Or bail bonds...

[Deej 76,830]

4 hours ago, msucolt45 said:

Don’t worry - aggy still doesn’t understand NIL, unless it’s sunflower seeds, beef jerky, or tractors

Hook’em!!!

Those are the three biggest selling items in College Station. 

[Magus Ossis 2,802]

5 hours ago, msucolt45 said:

Don’t worry - aggy still doesn’t understand NIL, unless it’s sunflower seeds, beef jerky, or tractors

Hook’em!!!

Actually not far off a Gig’em yell practice special

Quote

Tractor pull, beef jerky, meat judging star;

We ain’t as dumb as you think we is!

Chigarum, chigaru, I eat poo!

 

[lemonandaturd 4,285]

2 hours ago, Deej said:

Those are the three biggest selling items in College Station. 

Sheep pussy in the top five.

[Deej 76,830]

7 minutes ago, lemonandaturd said:

Sheep pussy in the top five.

They don't pay for that 

[markstanco 12,577]

“At least as of today we are a long shot as of today”

Really?

[JesusSweatDuck 17,784]

[JesusSweatDuck 17,784]

[JesusSweatDuck 17,784]

[JesusSweatDuck 17,784]

[JesusSweatDuck 17,784]

[Mr. Mojo Risin' 2,205]

 

A real gem from aggie wire. (USA Today*)

My self-assigned task for the weekend was to critique paragrasentence 4. 

1. I feel the $9.95er here became befuddled and mixed up two common cliches: "Fake it till you make it" and "make or break." Sadly, the spelling "brake" was avoided.

2. Four words: aggy, shear, sheep, confidence.  That's all. My work is done with this section.

3. Yeah, idk what to say about this.  I assume he meant, "put the pressure on either young man's shoulders" but I can't be sure.  I do think it is misleading though. Jumbo only seems to make a change at QB after injury makes the decision for him.

4. Paragraph = Sentence: This is a common style exhibited throughout the article and aggy "journalism."  When in doubt, add, a comma.,

*Bonus assignment:  Paragrasentence 2 mentions that he and his aggy brethren felt most top 25 polls would include aggy.  He works for USA Today.  USA Today did not list aggy in their top 25.

[JesusSweatDuck 17,784]

[deft 6,856]

But our furkin facilities!?!

[Hank Chinaski 6,315]

Haha why in the hell would anyone actually be upset about a representative of a future conference member attending a meeting? “They shouldn’t be allowed to attend a meeting until 2024!” What the holy fuck does it possibly matter? These imbeciles will bitch about absolutely anything Texas does, and feel victimized by it.

Edited May 7, 2023 by Hank Chinaski

[RomaVicta 29,929]

Here's why life is tough for a 2 percenter in Aggieland:

AdvantiAggie writes a solid and amusing piece of sarcasm. This kind of stuff appears more often when the Aggies are bad. Their gallows humor can be first rate at times. Credit where it is due.

Then Moriarty takes it literally. Irony deafness. So common among cultists of all types.

Then the last guy, Non-truth-denier Tarp, brings up the obvious point behind the sarcasm. Moriarty represents the majority of those idiots which, happily, are a minority around here.

 

[bad_teammate 13,215]

Ags need to pay me $9.95

 

[ousux 5,597]

Here's why life is tough for a 2 percenter in Aggieland:

AdvantiAggie writes a solid and amusing piece of sarcasm. This kind of stuff appears more often when the Aggies are bad. Their gallows humor can be first rate at times. Credit where it is due.
Then Moriarty takes it literally. Irony deafness. So common among cultists of all types.
Then the last guy, Non-truth-denier Tarp, brings up the obvious point behind the sarcasm. Moriarty represents the majority of those idiots which, happily, are a minority around here.
 

It never ceases to amaze me how many texaggy and gagem247 posters think teenage recruits actually read message boards populated by people older than most of their parents..

[billfromlaketravis 11,515]

I wonder how many aggys actually want to join the Big Ten? It feels like maybe 10 guys on TexAgs posting this stupid shit. 

[tejas60 3,533]

big ten would not accept aggy. 

[Mr. Mojo Risin' 2,205]

@bad_teammate

And you didn't even tell it to lie 

[Pato del Muerto 52,524]

I love the fact that moriarty the literary character is a genius and that guy shares or chose that moniker. 

Edited May 8, 2023 by Pato del Muerto

[HtownHorn 14,724]

I am interested to see if he will ever answer Tarp's question.

[Deej 76,830]

1 hour ago, tejas60 said:

big ten would not accept aggy. 

aggy would take a big ten in their ass, though.