Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread

[msucolt45 4,227]

It’s always funny to read where aggy includes Miss State as one of the “Weak” SEC teams. The bulldogs have a winning record vs aggy, since aggy joined, as well as having won 2 of the last 3 at Kyle.

Hook’em!!!

[Funk Doctor Spock 13,282]

Ah, aggy. Your coping gets me aroused.

[Pato del Muerto 53,462]

Funny that Texas changing conferences makes their next season enigmatic, while aggy changing coaches solidifies theirs as destined for greatness. 

[RomaVicta 30,562]

New. Culture.

[Pato del Muerto 53,462]

And new has to mean better. 

[mdleast 8,521]

“The Future is Bright!” ™

[statsman 5,693]

2 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Ah, yes, the good old “Rude Awakening” trope. I guess they have to have something to put hope in. 
 
On the Sooner boards, they’re banking on Texas being typically overrated and falling back to the level of the past 14 years. 

Edited May 22 by statsman

[Funk Doctor Spock 13,282]

Feels good to be back. The tards squirting in their panties is chef's kiss. The panic they're in makes me feel all warm and cozy. 

[closetojumping 65,391]

1 hour ago, Vertigo said:

Florida has dudes, even if they are a trainwreck. Think Texas under Strong. We might lose to Kansas, but we will get up and beat Notre Dame in the same season. Texas is a game they will be up for. Arky is arky, but we always get the suicide bomber version of that team when we play. Then Kentucky will be a tough out, and based on how the season has gone with injuries, could be a really tough grind of a game. Aggy is probably putting every bit of allowable, and probably some not allowable, offseason work into our game already and will have 8-10 weeks of prep time or some stupid shit. 

It may not make a shit and we just outclass them all, but it just sets up for some really close late season games. 

Regarding Florida - Texas is a sandwich game for them on the road. They'll have just played rival Georgia and then rival LSU follows the Texas game. Prior to UGA, they have an off week but will be recuperating from UCF, @Tenn, UK (who pummeled them last year). There is no rest for this team in 2024. The one game late in the year in which the normal human reaction to just not really show up, due to some level of exhaustion, is the Texas game. They're 100% not getting up to play Texas with that schedule structure. Y'all wringing hands about that game is laughable.

Regarding Texas A&M - The Texas team that should be sweating their UF game is ATM. They play them early, in The Swamp, with UF coming off a scrimmage against Samford and likely pretty healthy.

ATM's roster is massively overrated. People are looking at quantity and one of the service's dumbass team transfer portal rankings and just assuming that ATM somehow upgraded their roster. How is losing a bunch of highly rated players in exchange for a bunch of mediocrities leading to this notion of ATM being worth a fuck? Adding 20+ dudes from FCS and G5 plus a couple of good players from the likes of Purdue spurs confidence in a perennially failing team? It's truly bizarre.

People worried about jihad shit with ATM are ignoring history. The upset in this match-up is rare. It's rare because the rivalry isn't misunderstood by anyone, ever. Sarkisian is going to hear things regarding ATM at a fever pitch heading into that game and so will everyone else associated to the program. 

Regarding Arkansas - I was in Fayetteville in 2021. I can attest that this match-up was not understood by the staff or team at the time. I don't see that being the case this time around for the staff. I understand the handwringing on this one, but this is game will involve a massive talent disparity, and that wasn't true in 2021. 

Arkansas returns 5 starters on each side of the ball, with key losses on both sides. Their returning offensive production ranks 99th in the country while their returning defensive production ranks 115th. They added 15-ish guys from the portal, but I dare you to try to name more than one of them without cheating.

In effect, Arkansas is rebuilding with a coach on the hot seat and a bunch of jaggers that wouldn't play for Texas on their best day. 

 

[Beau Vine 55,862]

On 5/21/2024 at 11:20 AM, Vertigo said:

Florida, Arky, Kentucky, Aggy is a sneaky tough 4 game stretch to close out the year. 

[Scholz 12,305]

4 hours ago, statsman said:

On the Sooner boards, they’re banking on Texas being typically overrated and falling back to the level of the past 14 years. 

They bringing their cheating Big XII refs with them?

[ousux 5,637]

They bringing their cheating Big XII refs with them?

They think they will be able to hold and block downfield with impunity in the SEC just like they did the Rig12.

[cafe society 2,903]

6 hours ago, honolulu horn said:

mccag is a very solid writer.

It's their amazing school of journalism that turns out such brilliance and eloquence.

[billfromlaketravis 11,817]

40 minutes ago, ousux said:

1 hour ago, Scholz said:

They bringing their cheating Big XII refs with them?

They think they will be able to hold and block downfield with impunity in the SEC just like they did the Rig12.

SEC refs worked the Alamo Bowl. In short, they’re fucked. 

[Fondren & Main 6,894]

7 hours ago, statsman said:

Ah, yes, the good old “Rude Awakening” trope. I guess they have to have something to put hope in. 
 
On the Sooner boards, they’re banking on Texas being typically overrated and falling back to the level of the past 14 years. 

Maybe they’re overrated and will be mediocre for 14 years.

[Elmer_Fudd 22,981]

[Fondren & Main 6,894]

No matter how many times I see this or read this it’s still so hard to believe that these are real people.  It’s really incredible.

[The Gimp 354]

14 minutes ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

 

[Hank_Hill 20,020]

He’s a 5 star on a single service. Hadn’t been following, why on earth is the #1 QB in Cali going to that dumpster fire to run Kleins offense? 

[msucolt45 4,227]

aggy is truly a group of generational morons.

Hook’em!!!

[Deej 77,810]

40 minutes ago, Hank_Hill said:

why on earth is the #1 QB in Cali going to that dumpster fire to run Kleins offense? 

He likes dudes and is a racist?

[Sgt Hulk 14,426]

1 hour ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

[MirrOlure 15,266]

Are we certain that Husain Longstreet isn’t a nephew of Haywood Jablowmi?

[billfromlaketravis 11,817]

1 hour ago, Hank_Hill said:

He’s a 5 star on a single service. Hadn’t been following, why on earth is the #1 QB in Cali going to that dumpster fire to run Kleins offense? 

I think this will be the new norm. The biggest 8 schools in the SEC + fOSU, Penn State, Michigan, Oregon, and USC are going to get the top 10 QBs in every cycle. 

Unfortunately, aggy is a rather large school with resources. 

[Pato del Muerto 53,462]

1 minute ago, billfromlaketravis said:

I think this will be the new norm. The biggest 8 schools in the SEC + fOSU, Penn State, Michigan, Oregon, and USC are going to get the top 10 QBs in every cycle. 

Unfortunately, aggy is a rather large school with resources. 

You can just say top of sec and big10

[billfromlaketravis 11,817]

5 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

You can just say top of sec and big10

Correct. 

[Scholz 12,305]

What are those rednecks going to call Husain? Cuz it sure as shit won’t be Husain.  I’m sure it will be some spectacularly dorky nickname per usual.

Also, his offer list screams low 4-star.

Edited May 23 by Scholz

[Hank_Hill 20,020]

9 minutes ago, Scholz said:

What are those rednecks going to call Husain? Cuz it sure as shit won’t be Husain.  I’m sure it will be some spectacularly dorky nickname per usual.

Also, his offer list screams low 4-star.

Well his name is Husan. So maybe Husain IS their dorky nickname. 

[RomaVicta 30,562]

They're really brillliant and original with nicknames:

H-Long

[Gil Bang 26,231]

2 hours ago, MirrOlure said:

Are we certain that Husain Longstreet isn’t a nephew of Haywood Jablowmi?

cousin of Gabe Athouse

[pyrohornIII 4,846]

On 5/19/2024 at 10:05 AM, Chopper said:

I took a couple moments this morning to write a short story about culture. I hope you'll enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

13 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

New. Culture.

 

13 hours ago, mdleast said:

“The Future is Bright!”

Right on cue:

Quote

Mike Elko Has 'Truly Transformed Direction' Of Texas A&M Football

After Jimbo Fisher left the Texas A&M Aggies in shambles, new head coach Mike Elko already has the program in position to do big things in the future

Matt Galatzan | May 21, 2024

After six seasons with the program, Jimbo Fisher left the Texas A&M Aggies in shambles.

After his firing, not only did more than 30 players leave the team via the portal, but their 2024 class also took a hit, all while Fisher was owed a historic buyout unlike anything that had ever been seen in the sport.

Fortunately for the Aggies, Mike Elko came along, resurrecting what could have been a lost program over the last five months, and has seemingly putt them on the trajectory to become a premier SEC program over the next few seasons.

"We have truly transformed the direction of this program," Elko said during an appearance at the Capital City Texas A&M Club in Austin on Monday. "The players were not happy with the direction or the results the last couple of years. They knew we needed a change."

It was no small task for Elko either. Since his hiring at the end of November, Elko has hired an entirely new staff, brought in 28 players via the NCAA Transfer Portal, and somehow managed to salvage a top-20 class that could have completely fallen apart.

More importantly than that, however, Elko transformed the culture of the program by getting back to the basics of what Texas A&M is all about.

"We have to embrace what Texas A&M is all about," Elko said. "A blue-collar work ethic... We have to be the absolute best version of Texas A&M football."

So what is the next thing that Elko wants to change about Texas A&M as a program?

Simple. He wants to win, and win big.

"I would win a national championship," Elko said. "We have to get better results on the field."

 

Mike Elko Has 'Truly Transformed Direction' Of Texas A&M Aggies Football (si.com)

[Marshall_Lucky 628]

NM

Edited May 23 by Marshall_Lucky
NM

[Henry Hill 3,156]

2 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

Well his name is Husan. So maybe Husain IS their dorky nickname. 

They’ll call him Barry or Barack or something like that. Because they’re fucking stupid.

[Hornius Emeritus 12,796]

On 5/19/2024 at 10:05 AM, Chopper said:

I took a couple moments this morning to write a short story about culture. I hope you'll enjoy.

 

 

 

 

Courtesy HUABS:

 

Edited May 23 by Hornius Emeritus

[Getafix 29,456]

 

 

7 hours ago, Scholz said:

What are those rednecks going to call Husain? Cuz it sure as shit won’t be Husain.  I’m sure it will be some spectacularly dorky nickname per usual.

Also, his offer list screams low 4-star.

 

6 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

Well his name is Husan. So maybe Husain IS their dorky nickname. 

 

5 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

They're really brillliant and original with nicknames:

H-Long

 

3 hours ago, Henry Hill said:

They’ll call him Barry or Barack or something like that. Because they’re fucking stupid.

 

 

 

Well, since you guys asked ... 

 

 

 

 

 

[DigglerontheHoof 21,550]

At the very least, he'll become an aggy gloryhole legend. 

[RomaVicta 30,562]

7 hours ago, pyrohornIII said:

 

 

Right on cue:

Mike Elko Has 'Truly Transformed Direction' Of Texas A&M Aggies Football (si.com)

Show a little respect. The opinion comes from an expert on the subject:

Elko knows his audience better than William does:

If you're going to meet your quota selling life insurance in Katy, Texas, you better put on that blue collar and bring a lunch pail!

From the link entitled "back to basics of what Texas A&M is all about," Elko again proves how well he knows what redass is all about:

He knows that it's not the growing element of 2%ers who make the decisions (yet). He also knows how to have a winning record at Duke. We've seen your hearts and souls. It'd be less embarrassing for you if you hid them.

I will say they're so good at repeating the same thing about the Holy Elk that I start lending it credence. I also lent credence to the idea that the Iraqi army and air force would be a challenging opponent in the first Gulf War.

[Zhorn96 1,835]

3 hours ago, Getafix said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, since you guys asked ... 

 

 

 

 

 

Insane Longmeat?

[texifornia 59,011]

4 hours ago, Getafix said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, since you guys asked ... 

 

 

 

 

 

[pyrohornIII 4,846]

I'm gonna guess The Playmaker (or whoever started that thread) watches a lot of gay porn.

[GreenspointTexas 9,964]

Of course aggy recruits a guy named “Longstreet”

[Hank Chinaski 6,349]

1 hour ago, RomaVicta said:

Show a little respect. The opinion comes from an expert on the subject:

Elko knows his audience better than William does:

If you're going to meet your quota selling life insurance in Katy, Texas, you better put on that blue collar and bring a lunch pail!

From the link entitled "back to basics of what Texas A&M is all about," Elko again proves how well he knows what redass is all about:

He knows that it's not the growing element of 2%ers who make the decisions (yet). He also knows how to have a winning record at Duke. We've seen your hearts and souls. It'd be less embarrassing for you if you hid them.

I will say they're so good at repeating the same thing about the Holy Elk that I start lending it credence. I also lent credence to the idea that the Iraqi army and air force would be a challenging opponent in the first Gulf War.

“Back to basics,” “blue collar work ethic,”  “change the direction,” “new culture,” etc. The simplest AI task imaginable would be “give me quotes by football coaches at new schools.”

This really illustrates how people will believe anything that they really want to believe. 

[SimkinsMan 4,554]

I'm going to predict they eventually call the QB "House," under the presumption that he will continually take their offense to "the House." 

But the racists among them are definitely going want to nickname him "Old War Husan." 

[Chuckie Finster 23,039]

12 minutes ago, GreenspointTexas said:

Of course aggy recruits a guy named “Longstreet”

More like, of course aggy is able to take a last name that is basically built for generating an easy nickname and turn it sexual. There are just an endless number of options to work with and they settle on "lol kinda like big penis, get it???"

[statsman 5,693]

2 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

Show a little respect. The opinion comes from an expert on the subject:

Elko knows his audience better than William does:

If you're going to meet your quota selling life insurance in Katy, Texas, you better put on that blue collar and bring a lunch pail!

From the link entitled "back to basics of what Texas A&M is all about," Elko again proves how well he knows what redass is all about:

He knows that it's not the growing element of 2%ers who make the decisions (yet). He also knows how to have a winning record at Duke. We've seen your hearts and souls. It'd be less embarrassing for you if you hid them.

I will say they're so good at repeating the same thing about the Holy Elk that I start lending it credence. I also lent credence to the idea that the Iraqi army and air force would be a challenging opponent in the first Gulf War.

We will know he really studied up if, after a first season ass-kicking, he says, “They better get their licks in now, while they can”. 

[Horn Under a Bad Sign 20,911]

1 hour ago, Hank Chinaski said:

“Back to basics,” “blue collar work ethic,”  “change the direction,” “new culture,” etc. The simplest AI task imaginable would be “give me quotes by football coaches at new schools.”

This really illustrates how people will believe anything that they really want to believe. 

Anyone who dares question the sainthood of The Holy Elk will be smote. Do you want to risk smoting? 

[BigHorn'13 3,494]

13 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

You can just say top of sec and big10 then aggy. 

FIFY

[Lou_Sassle 2,995]

I can't wait for the "HE SUCKED ANYWAY! I'M GLAD HE'S GONE! I'D MUCH RATHER HAVE THIS HARD NOSED, HARD WORKING, LIGHTLY RECRUITED LOW 3 STAR QB THAT WE PRIED AWAY FROM RECRUITING  POWERHOUSE, BUFFALO!" comments after he inevitably decommits from them after seeing their abortion of an offense this year. 

[Dbeasy 15,583]

1 hour ago, Hank Chinaski said:

“Back to basics,” “blue collar work ethic,”  “change the direction,” “new culture,” etc. The simplest AI task imaginable would be “give me quotes by football coaches at new schools.”

This really illustrates how people will believe anything that they really want to believe. 

But I hear they will also be running a more attacking defense!

[RomaVicta 30,562]

It's gonna be tough football. The kind of stuff you never see anywhere else. We're making guys actually come to practice! That's the kind of culture we're talking about. You don't see Alabama, Michigan, Georgia, or tu doing that shit. We'll murder them all with toughness and culture!