Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread

[Funk Doctor Spock 13121]

Let them fantasize and masturbate and pretend they're going to thr conference championship 

 

[Basil 767]

I just love these fellows. Haven’t won a conference championship since the 1990s. Never played in a SEC championship game. Lost their opener, got into a dogfight with Bowling Green and now they’re spending their time war gaming beating them sips, winning the SEC and how their playoff run is going to go.

It’s like when Make-a-Wish sets up Batman adventure for some poor five year old with cancer.

[Horndog 2293]

2 hours ago, Cairn Horn88 said:

Sounds like a certain politician…..hmmm.

Since this is entirely generic, with no names mentioned, seems odd to neg.

[Treefidy 1504]

5 minutes ago, Horndog said:

Since this is entirely generic, with no names mentioned, seems odd to neg.

He could have said “sounds like ALL politicians” which would probably have been more correct, but he can still go fuck off to the CR with any and all political commentary.  

[Napoleon 8802]

I like how concerned Ag in Lakeway is for Sark's battle with the bottle.

Several times he chimed in that it would be sad if Sark was having a relapse. It appears that he is about the only ag who actual confronts his demons, because this post only got 1 "star" and that's after revealing that he's very active in helping people with their fights with addiction.

Their predictability just brings a smile to my face on a slow Tuesday night.

 

 

[Mitch Cumsteen 18913]

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was going to rehab in College Station but I got lost and couldn’t find the clinic? 

[Doc Daneeka 6791]

An insightful analysis of Texas’ schedule in their Texas-OU thread. Clarifications appear to have been unwelcome.
 

 
 

 

[billfromlaketravis 11784]

It’s not just aggy, the CBS/Big Ten podcasts are shitting on Texas’ schedule. That fat fuck Tom Fornelli just keeps repeating Texas hasn’t played anybody over and over again every time the Longhorns are brought up. Michigan sucks. fOSU beating Iowa is the most impressive win of the year. I think we know the AP voter that keeps voting fOSU every week. 

Another popular topic: Georgia is the only decent offense Texas will play on their schedule. 

[Doc Daneeka 6791]

The SEC is murderer’s row until it isn’t. Who would Texas play in the championship game? If the SEC can’t provide any better offenses, that’s hardly Texas’ fault  

Bag on Texas’ schedule. Whatever. At least know all wins will be against FBS teams. 

Next year it will be “Ohio State lost so much.” Texas is out there scheduling Alabama, Michigan, and Ohio State. Fuck people who want to whine about the schedule.

Edited October 9 by Doc Daneeka

[ATXhorn17 1676]

7 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

It’s not just aggy, the CBS/Big Ten podcasts are shitting on Texas’ schedule. That fat fuck Tom Fornelli just keeps repeating Texas hasn’t played anybody over and over again every time the Longhorns are brought up. Michigan sucks. fOSU beating Iowa is the most impressive win of the year. I think we know the AP voter that keeps voting fOSU every week. 

Another popular topic: Georgia is the only decent offense Texas will play on their schedule. 

Tom Fornelli has an overwhelming bias towards the BIG in general… All the Cover 3 Podcast guys (Bud E, Danny K, Chip P) love to nitpick Texas. And when they do speak confidently about anything Texas football related, they butcher our players names and it’s abundantly clear they’re clueless.

[Funk Doctor Spock 13121]

19 hours ago, Basil said:

I just love these fellows. Haven’t won a conference championship since the 1990s. Never played in a SEC championship game. Lost their opener, got into a dogfight with Bowling Green and now they’re spending their time war gaming beating them sips, winning the SEC and how their playoff run is going to go.

It’s like when Make-a-Wish sets up Batman adventure for some poor five year old with cancer.

You hit the nail on the head. They are  Make-A-Wish kids. 

Edited October 9 by Funk Doctor Spock

[Vertigo 20461]

49 minutes ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

You git hit the nail on the dead. They are  Makw-A-Wiay kisa. 

You may want to see a doctor.

[Hank_Hill 19760]

3 hours ago, Vertigo said:

You may want to see a doctor.

No joke though. It’s gotten worse. 

[WinningIsHard 4171]

6 hours ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

You git hit the nail on the dead. They are  Makw-A-Wiay kisa. 

[RomaVicta 30500]

I know! Let's call up Penn State and Notre Dame and Missouri Miami and see if they'll stand in for Florida, Kentucky, and Vanderbilt. If we drummed those asses, they'd say that was proof our schedule was weak. 

Did they say this when Alabama was crushing just about everybody? No. They're sportscasters too dull to come up with their own ideas so they just parrot what they hear. I doubt it's anti-Texas bias. They're just stupid.

 

ETA: It is a weird year in CFB. It's hard to tell how good anybody is even this late in the season. We probably deserve to be #1, but I'd be fine anywhere in the top 4. As far as quality wins, the sports idiots can only hold one thought in their minds at a time.

"Texas win over Michigan doesn't look so great because Michigan is not what they were."

Michigan is not elite this year. True. But look at how Texas won at Michigan. No team has totally dominated them in every phase.

Michigan has won all their other home games and lost by only ten to Washington at Washington. They're not shit particularly at home. They may not be as good as a senior laden MAC contender that only lost to Old Dominion at home by three, but they're pretty good. Obviously Missouri would crush them in the Big House.

Making it look easy doesn't mean it's easy for everybody.

Edited October 9 by RomaVicta

[utee94 16065]

11 hours ago, Doc Daneeka said:

An insightful analysis of Texas’ schedule in their Texas-OU thread. Clarifications appear to have been unwelcome.
 

Unsurprisingly, ALL of his "facts" are wrong.  The 133 schools he's talking about are all FBS.  None of them are FCS.

25 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

Did they say this when Alabama was crushing just about everybody? No. They're sportscasters too dull to come up with their own ideas so they just parrot what they hear. I doubt it's anti-Texas bias. They're just stupid.

Yup, I think you're right.

[PhillyHorn1 81]

On 10/7/2024 at 4:01 PM, Beau Vine said:

Hey, I have a family member like (didn't go to UT though). I also refer to him as pussy boy. A lot of BLS going on (beaten Longhorn syndrome). Give your balls a tug and stop being a bitch.

Edit: yes I know the quote is 100% fake and gay (nttawwt).

Edited October 9 by PhillyHorn1

[Davis Lane 5978]

13 hours ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

You git hit the nail on the dead. They are  Make-A-Wish kids. 

 

12 hours ago, Vertigo said:

You may want to see a doctor.

 

8 hours ago, Hank_Hill said:

No joke though. It’s gotten worse. 

[Park Gothic 5343]

1 hour ago, Davis Lane said:

 

 

[Danimal 390]

Any word yet on these guys cooking up conspiracy theories that UT is behind the arrests of the Georgia players to help UT win the game in two weeks? 

I know there is some Aggie Scooby Doo crew out there trying to crack that case

[Gut Wagon 8214]

18 minutes ago, Danimal said:

Any word yet on these guys cooking up conspiracy theories that UT is behind the arrests of the Georgia players to help UT win the game in two weeks? 

I know there is some Aggie Scooby Doo crew out there trying to crack that case

I'm a single-member Longhorn splinter cell 70 miles from Athens. Deployed here in 1984 and instructed to wait covertly for just such a chance to prove my loyalty to the university. Should I detect any UGA player's vehicle entering this jurisdiction, I will instantly alert the local constabulary. 

[Lone Star Horn 2066]

23 minutes ago, Gut Wagon said:

I'm a single-member Longhorn splinter cell 70 miles from Athens. Deployed here in 1984 and instructed to wait covertly for just such a chance to prove my loyalty to the university. Should I detect any UGA player's vehicle entering this jurisdiction, I will instantly alert the local constabulary. 

[Funk Doctor Spock 13121]

2 hours ago, Davis Lane said:

 

 

I'm my defense.. It's hard to write on shrooms. 

[Jebus 1341]

25 minutes ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

I'm my defense.. It's hard to write on shrooms. 

try using a sharpie, a pencil is too hard to see and a ballpoint just tears em up

[Funk Doctor Spock 13121]

1 minute ago, Jebus said:

try using a sharpie, a pencil is too hard to see and a ballpoint just tears em up

Bro. Everything is hard to see. I literally have to hold my phone to my face like I'm Army Brat, and the words are mix together 

 the shrroms feel amazing, but reading and writing, as well as watching TV is a no-go. I have to just sit there 

 

[Big Woodrows 4217]

 

[Gut Wagon 8214]

3 minutes ago, Big Woodrows said:

 

The "glory hole" jokes just write themselves. 

[billfromlaketravis 11784]

5 minutes ago, Big Woodrows said:

 

[MontereyMX 922]

1 minute ago, Gut Wagon said:

The "glory hole" jokes just write themselves. 

so perfect ! 

[Gucci_Suit 2809]

I saw pics of Elko at a wedding recently and he’s obviously back on the sauce. 

A1, Heinz 57, tarter, soy, bearnaise, cocktail, Pace Picante, alfredo, and chocolate. It’s sad. 

[RomaVicta 30500]

I guess the Six Inches is part of the "messaging" William is so enthused about. 

[Vertigo 20461]

52 minutes ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

Bro. Everything is hard to see. I literally have to hold my phone to my face like I'm Army Brat, and the words are mix together 

 the shrroms feel amazing, but reading and writing, as well as watching TV is a no-go. I have to just sit there 

 

Plot twist - He was using talk to text. 

[Bevo14 8468]

15 minutes ago, Big Woodrows said:

 

[Hank_Hill 19760]

Taking a miraculous mind expanding substance just to keep browsing Surly is awesome. 

[Wiler77 1619]

30 minutes ago, Big Woodrows said:

 

[Wiler77 1619]

Reminds me of a shirt that you'd see floating around DKR back in the late 90's (at least that's when I first saw it) of a drawing of Bevo getting a blow job from an aggie co-ed.

Just keep focused on those 6 inches in front of you and then the end of season will come.

That can't be real.

[Beer Drinker 685]

36 minutes ago, Gucci_Suit said:

I saw pics of Elko at a wedding recently and he’s obviously back on the sauce. 

A1, Heinz 57, tarter, soy, bearnaise, cocktail, Pace Picante, alfredo, and chocolate. It’s sad. 

He really looks like a gravy guy

[Davis Lane 5978]

44 minutes ago, Big Woodrows said:

 

[Gut Wagon 8214]

33 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

Plot twist - He was using talk to text. 

Or maybe jabber to gibberish. 

[RomaVicta 30500]

 

 

I wonder if Olin was pondering the accompanying picture when he thought about stress.

 

Same fucking suit from his intro to the job. I suppose his confidence is inspiring. But, Olin, hit us with a snappy opening!

Imagine the thought that went into that. Hmmmm, inevitable. And the use of elipses...magnifique. Set the scene, Olin my man.

In a room full Aggies, one doesn't really know how this sorta tired Dad joke is going to go. Normal people would give it a friendly polite laugh. You can guess there would be an uncomfortable silence with Aggies. What would follow?

If you're a slob sporting a suit adorned by a button missile with the safety off, you better bring the yuks. Elko knows his audience. They're the ones who struggle with Blue Collar comedy.

But Olin sees deeper than a Dad joke. You see, Elko was serious:

Ummmm, then he was serious about the national importance of the Aggie-MSU game? What about the hilarious feigned confusion? Thank goodness Olin is here to guide us. He starts with the sage words of Elko. Imagine the TD club leaning forward like Aristotle observing Plato.

1 I didn't quite get that, Mike, can you elaborate?

2 Ah, now I get it. Sorry to be so slow.

3 Lost me again.

Elko returns to the subject of focusing on what's in front of as interpreted by Mr. Olin Buchanan:

Words of wisdom, Elk Baby, words of wisdom. So, the deal is to focus and concentrate on what's directly in front of you. You have to concentrate hard because your nose is to a grindstone and it's hard to see when you're doing that! Or maybe the grindstone is MSU. But then they would be grinding you which is a tradition in the SEC. 

Elko is too deep for me.

 

It's quite a slog of cliches after those opening cliches. Let's see if Olin can save the exercise by referring to his opening gambit in his valedictory sentence.

Edited October 10 by RomaVicta

[Big Woodrows 4217]

10 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

[Armybrat 41319]

2 hours ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

Bro. Everything is hard to see. I literally have to hold my phone to my face like I'm Army Brat, and the words are mix together 

 the shrroms feel amazing, but reading and writing, as well as watching TV is a no-go. I have to just sit there 

 

 

[Deej 77670]

4 hours ago, Danimal said:

Any word yet on these guys cooking up conspiracy theories that UT is behind the arrests of the Georgia players to help UT win the game in two weeks? 

I know there is some Aggie Scooby Doo crew out there trying to crack that case

Fred does give off a yell leader vibe.

[Gucci_Suit 2809]

1 hour ago, Wiler77 said:

Reminds me of a shirt that you'd see floating around DKR back in the late 90's (at least that's when I first saw it) of a drawing of Bevo getting a blow job from an aggie co-ed.

Just keep focused on those 6 inches in front of you and then the end of season will come.

That can't be real.

I remember this too. But my frat made a ton of tshirts with Bevo getting a bj. 

Edited October 9 by Gucci_Suit

[Funk Doctor Spock 13121]

18 minutes ago, Gucci_Suit said:

I remember this too. But my frat made a ton of tshirts with Bevo getting a bj. 

If.yoy don't mind me asking. What frat were you in, and what year?

[nnm 37737]

3 hours ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

Bro. Everything is hard to see. I literally have to hold my phone to my face like I'm Army Brat, and the words are mix together 

 the shrroms feel amazing, but reading and writing, as well as watching TV is a no-go. I have to just sit there 

 

Please keep up the live posting while on the shroom. This has the potential to be on par with the peanut butter whiskey live posting. 

[Funk Doctor Spock 13121]

Just now, nnm said:

Please keep up the live posting while on the shroom. This has the potential to be on par with the peanut butter whiskey live posting. 

I absolutely will. It will take me around 30 mins to get a message out, so apologies if words don't make sense lol 

[mannewers 563]

2 hours ago, Big Woodrows said:

 

That must be a disappointing feeling for The Elk, there is no way he sees anything past his dick porch.

[RomaVicta 30500]

38 minutes ago, Funk Doctor Spock said:

I absolutely will. It will take me around 30 mins to get a message out, so apologies if words don't make sense lol 

I was a fan of Danger Snacks. Let it flow, my brother.

[Funk Doctor Spock 13121]

4 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

I was a fan of Danger Snacks. Let it flow, my brother.

Whatever happened to that dude?