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Negative Recruiting Your Own School: The aggy Screenshot Megathread

texifornia

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45560

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1.  Arch Manning is shit because I've watched his tape and he's a 3-star at best.

2.  Arch Manning is going to flip to UGA because they are the logical choice for a blue chip QB

 

Either Kirby Smart is just as stupid as Sark, or Sark is just as smart as . . . Kirby Smart.

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Elmer_Fudd
Elmer_Fudd

Haven't seen this posted.  Saw it on the rant, anybody hear/see this?  

D3zii
D3zii

Congrats to all Teams 

closetojumping
closetojumping

To be clear, USC did make a run at CDC. Liucci probably heard that from the USC side and ran with it, trying to make it a story. Problem is, Liucci doesn't understand critical differences between ATM

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JesusSweatDuck

JesusSweatDuck 17780

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1 minute ago, Focht Up said:

Oh, the old "conversation with a friend who knows everyone ".  Of course it's really true. 

Then he goes on to say that the "friend" is a former All-American who played for the Bears and is now a state championship HS coach.  Can be many people out there that fit that description.  Anyone have extra time on their hands?

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BornAndRaised

BornAndRaised 12223

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4 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Then he goes on to say that the "friend" is a former All-American who played for the Bears and is now a state championship HS coach.  Can be many people out there that fit that description.  Anyone have extra time on their hands?

The only person I know to go to for info on this site is @derpyhorndog

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ClubWhatever

ClubWhatever 12087

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Posted (edited)
33 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Then he goes on to say that the "friend" is a former All-American who played for the Bears and is now a state championship HS coach.  Can be many people out there that fit that description.  Anyone have extra time on their hands?

I don’t think that person exists.  It sounds like a fictionalized version of Jerry Fontenot, who happens to be from Lafeyette, LA. 

Edited by ClubWhatever
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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29794

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I always thought O-ring was redundantly repetitive.

image.png

I see this is stuck in my editor. I guess I didn't finish the post.

Identify the behavior that seems desperate:

  1. Taking two 5 star QBs in three years.
  2. Begging Novosad to flip from Baylor.
  3. Flying a top QB from USC to the pool party to make Novosad feel anxious.
  4. Both 2 and 3.
Edited by RomaVicta
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WinningIsHard

WinningIsHard 4017

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13 hours ago, UDontKnow said:

Did nobody else chuckle when they read "O-Ring"?

I mean the jokes are writing themselves at this point.

I bet his origin story is he was designing an O-ring for when a sheeps butthole blows out and they just happen to work really well in valves, and miscellaneous equipment. 

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WinningIsHard

WinningIsHard 4017

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16 hours ago, RomaVicta said:

image.png.39b3c44f010090129605452de319ff54.png

1. We ought to give Arch a lovely parting gift for recruiting his ass for Texas prior to his inevitable flip to Georgia. We'll also be dodging a bullet by not having the lousy QB that Georgia and Tennessee are shelling out millions for. 

2. I know a guy who works vice in Brian de Spain's town of residence. He books all the pervs and keeps tabs on them as part of his job. This pal of mine never lies. Ever. Anyway, we're kicking back, and I mention this internet genius who has all the inside lowdown on everything in football because of a friend of his. The vice guy looks at me and says, Brian de Spain fucks little girls and boys in the ass. I'm sad to hear this because he knows so much about football. Maybe it's not true. Just tossing it out there for conversation in an honest way. Be an interesting afterthought if Brian is convicted of sodomy with children.

image.png.63d0302d1d67ed71d16a4b92914355a4.png

It's a shame about the sodomizing children because Brian is quite the philosophical scholar regarding standards for honest discourse. 

It cannot be bullshit if I open with "may be true but I do not know if it's a fact."

A&M should have that carved on their main building just like we have, Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.

 

At point #2 this story took a wild turn that I wasn’t prepared for but Quentin Tarantino couldn’t have done it better sir. Damn funny haha 

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horn4life

horn4life 3755

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Posted

Well at least the Aggies are getting some National Publicity - They top the Five teams that start the Season Overrated

Quote

Every time Lucy pulls the football away from Charlie Brown, there is always the glimmer of hope that one day he will kick the ball. Such is the case with predictions for the Aggies. This is still a program – despite all its fanfare - that has only twice finished with fewer than four losses this century and has only been ranked at the end of six seasons during the same span. Optimism that “this” is the year A&M breaks through

A&M certainly does have a reputation...

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Hozz

Hozz 1012

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16 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

Then he goes on to say that the "friend" is a former All-American who played for the Bears and is now a state championship HS coach.  Can be many people out there that fit that description.  Anyone have extra time on their hands?

A guy named Kurt Becker checks 2.5 of those boxes...All American at Michigan, Chicago Bear, and was a high school coach, doesn't look like he won a title though and 'resigned' in 2017.

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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29794

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7 minutes ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

They delete any doubting of the mods, but let this shit stay up.  Never change aggy.  What an embarrassment 

image.png.f76e8a82bc9ae96fb88fbda0387e5c05.png

In 2022, they still believe calling someone gay is a slur. They probably feel the same way about Mexican. Texas' dark little time capsule from 1933.

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horn4life

horn4life 3755

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58 minutes ago, RomaVicta said:

In 2022, they still believe calling someone gay is a slur. They probably feel the same way about Mexican. Texas' dark little time capsule from 1933.

 

1 hour ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

They delete any doubting of the mods, but let this shit stay up.  Never change aggy.  What an embarrassment 

image.png.f76e8a82bc9ae96fb88fbda0387e5c05.png

Well... I guess you are one smart MOFO when you need double edit this shit.  

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Tigersnake

Tigersnake 670

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3 hours ago, texifornia said:

Yiiiiiiikes

FZfzaynWQAE4x9O?format=jpg&name=mediumFZfzbSqXgAAbmxK?format=jpg&name=medium

FZgGpCAXgAAKzAD?format=jpg&name=large

I love this one. Multiple misuse of the words there, their, and they're? Check. Unnecessary use of "QUOTATION MARKS" and random capitalization? Check. Bonus points for making up a nonsense phrase? "Mental demeanor". That's a bingo!  This conversation is a perfect *chef's kiss" from the aggy Handbook of Style.

 

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derpyhorndog

derpyhorndog 2554

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20 hours ago, BornAndRaised said:

The only person I know to go to for info on this site is @derpyhorndog

Best guess is Mike Malham Jr. He played during the 70s (and was a two-time Academic All American) at Arkansas State, and went on to be drafted and play a couple years for the Chicago Bears. He then coached high school football in Arkansas for 38 years (starting in 1978) and won two state championships before retiring in 2019. 

His father (Mike Malham Sr.) also coached football in Arkansas from 1949 to 1989 -- 22 years at the high school ranks, and 19 seasons at Arkansas State. Father and son are both in the Arkansas High School Coaches Association Hall of Fame and Arkansas Sports Hall of Fame.

Malham Sr. is described by one person as "a self-styled Bear Bryant type." Bear was from Arkansas and had a coaching tenure that overlapped with both of the Malham's. Bryant's Alabama team played against Arkansas State in 1982 while Malham Sr. was on staff.

Stands to reason that Bear probably also knew the Malham's through recruiting their high school teams, and that the Malham's, with their ~80 years of combined coaching and prominence in that world, would know many other significant coaches over the decades (and Jr., who is still alive, would have a pulse on things in the SEC footprint).

So yeah, he's my shot-in-the-dark guess assuming this DeSpain guy isn't full of shit in the first place (probably is). 

Edited by derpyhorndog
derp
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derpyhorndog

derpyhorndog 2554

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20 hours ago, JesusSweatDuck said:

I wonder if this is our "connected" genius.  Seems like he might actually be in hydraulics 

image.thumb.png.38d88cd104eb524ff6914f7f3f6c48c2.png

I am going to guess that this is the Brian DeSpain in question. A&M grad, football ops and recruiting assistant under Sherman, hired as Director of Football Operations at Arizona during the Sumlin regime. 

despain.png

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closetojumping

closetojumping 62247

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5 minutes ago, UDontKnow said:

 

This guy also looks like he's into O-rings. 

I'm guessing the "coach who knows everybody" is Bob Davie, which makes the whole thing more funny.

FWIW, I know of no one who knows anything whatsoever about alumni-based NIL being a thing for Manning or his family. Like so much else from the aggie idiots posting on their boards, they're fashioning this stuff out of whole cloth.

Manning will get millions of dollars every year from corporate NIL, jersey sales, and other merchandise/autographing. The family knows this, and so did everyone recruiting him. There is zero need to put anything together as any kind of enticement. Austin made the most sense on that front, but it's not like Manning will be a regional entity, especially if he's good. I'll be shocked, and I mean SHOCKED, if Arch Manning is immediately tied to several campaigns that his uncles and father are already a part of, such as Nationwide, Gatorade, etc.

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derpyhorndog

derpyhorndog 2554

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6 minutes ago, closetojumping said:

I'm guessing the "coach who knows everybody" is Bob Davie, which makes the whole thing more funny.

While we're starting from a false premise (that the aggy poster is not talking out of his ass), Davie doesn't check the "coached HS football" or "Chicago Bears" boxes.

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derpyhorndog

derpyhorndog 2554

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15 minutes ago, Noodles said:

Former Chicago Bear Kiah Johnson has been named the head coach of Rosenberg Lamar Consolidated. Johnson graduated from Alief Elsik before playing at Texas A&M-Kingsville.

Hasn’t won a state title, doubt he knew Bear Bryant (not even sure he was born by the time Bear died).

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JesusSweatDuck

JesusSweatDuck 17780

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12 minutes ago, Deej said:

His source heard from his best friend’s sister’s boyfriend’s brother’s girlfriend that this guy who knows this kid who’s going with a girl who saw Arch pass-out at 31 Flavors last night.

Nah, it was the way the sheep was baa'ing while he blew out that poor sheep's o-ring 

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SamMan

SamMan 1347

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If there’s anyone I am going to believe regarding the recruitment of a Louisiana high school senior in the class of 2023, it would definitely be an aggie who knew Bear Bryant (died 1983) back in the day (possibly old as fuck), was an all-American + Chicago bear (possibly cte), state champion coach (assuming in TX not LA or GA or MS), is friends with everyone in the industry (but has no problem sharing very lurid private information about the goings on of one of the most public relations-conscious families in all of sports) and is cool with his dumb fucking aggie friend blabbing about it on an internet message board (while providing several personal details that would make identifying the source of the information rather easy), but also fully believes that Cooper would entertain the idea that his younger brother could bribe his son in order to keep him from committing to a coach whom he feels was/is immature and detrimental to his alma mater’s legacy (which has been a fucking dumpster fire since before Kiffin was even hired) despite the fact that Ole Miss was never much of a serious candidate in the recruitment, regardless of nil..

In all seriousness, I’d be extremely impressed if this mystery football maestro wasn’t drooling on himself and needing assistance changing his shitty diapers at this stage in his life, much less able to cultivate and manage relationships with influential people in a number of states and football programs (none of which are Texas) well enough to gather this tranche of information, weave it all together, and share it with his starstruck friend in a simple little insider tip, made in passing one random day.

I mean, it honestly sounds like the man ate a handful of edibles and watched Forrest Gump, Friday Night Lights, and He Got Game in one sitting, causing him to hallucinate this entire conversation.

Edited by SamMan
Autocorrect thinks aggie is a proper noun
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RomaVicta

RomaVicta 29794

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1 hour ago, SamMan said:

I mean, it honestly sounds like the man ate a handful of edibles and watched Forrest Gump, Friday Night Lights, and He Got Game in one sitting, causing him to hallucinate this entire conversation.

NO! It's all true. Remember this immutable rule of truth:

It cannot be bullshit if I open with "may be true but I do not know if it's a fact."

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