Jimbo 2019: The Only Tail Getting Busted is Candi's

[Etexhorn13 3045]

Man, that Texags shit is really, really hard to read. The cognitive dissonance, or perhaps straight up ignorance, is mind blowing. 

[billfromlaketravis 11461]

The GOAT Finebaum caller, Tammy from Clanton passed in November? I have no idea how I missed that. 

https://www.al.com/news/2018/11/paul-finebaum-regular-and-auburn-superfan-tammy-dies-in-horrific-us-280-crash.html

 

[Funk Doctor Spock 12190]

10 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

The GOAT Finebaum caller, Tammy from Clanton passed in November? I have no idea how I missed that. 

https://www.al.com/news/2018/11/paul-finebaum-regular-and-auburn-superfan-tammy-dies-in-horrific-us-280-crash.html

 

Yeah, that sucks. I hope her family has all the resources they need to get through this terrible time. And just before Christmas, too. 

[Funk Doctor Spock 12190]

17 minutes ago, Etexhorn13 said:

Man, that Texags shit is really, really hard to read. The cognitive dissonance, or perhaps straight up ignorance, is mind blowing. 

This is exactly why I stay away from that cesspool 

[billfromlaketravis 11461]

13 minutes ago, Spider2YBanana said:

Yeah, that sucks. I hope her family has all the resources they need to get through this terrible time. And just before Christmas, too. 

Finebaum did some half ass tribute to Tammy that was a couple minutes long. He doesn't have much of a show without her. He made his bones on Tammy and Phyllis yelling at each other on local radio in Alabama. Obviously he trolls his callers, but he also takes advantage of them. The resident Aggy caller Matt from San Antonio sounds like he's developmentally delayed. Haha, yeah all Aggys are slow, I get it, but this kid isn't all there. I'm sure daddy98 from Magnolia is burning up the phone lines trying to get on. Why not take his call instead?

By the way, the UGA tears are extra salty. 

 

Edited January 5, 2019 by billfromlaketravis

[Funk Doctor Spock 12190]

17 minutes ago, billfromlaketravis said:

Finebaum did some half ass tribute to Tammy that was a couple minutes long. He doesn't have much of a show without her. He made his bones on Tammy and Phyllis yelling at each other on local radio in Alabama. Obviously he trolls his callers, but he also takes advantage of them. The resident Aggy caller Matt from San Antonio sounds like he's developmentally delayed. Haha, yeah all Aggys are slow, I get it, but this kid isn't all there. I'm sure daddy98 from Magnolia is burning up the phone lines trying to get on. Why not take his call instead?

By the way, the UGA tears are extra salty. 

 

Oh man, I would kill to listen to Daddy98 haha. I admit I've never listen to Pawl, so I didn't even know who she was. Maybe Matt IS Daddy98, which would explain his lack of intelligence.

[Redneck Mutha 7954]

9 hours ago, Elmer_Fudd said:

So aggy is looking at signing 1 high school CB over the last 2 years and the one they signed has pretty much already outgrown the position.  Bravo, that's some Rumlin-like recruiting.

Line of scurmage league don't need coronerbacks, stupid sip!

[theaveragejon 988]

7 hours ago, billfromlaketravis said:

Finebaum did some half ass tribute to Tammy that was a couple minutes long. He doesn't have much of a show without her. He made his bones on Tammy and Phyllis yelling at each other on local radio in Alabama. Obviously he trolls his callers, but he also takes advantage of them. The resident Aggy caller Matt from San Antonio sounds like he's developmentally delayed. Haha, yeah all Aggys are slow, I get it, but this kid isn't all there. I'm sure daddy98 from Magnolia is burning up the phone lines trying to get on. Why not take his call instead?

By the way, the UGA tears are extra salty. 

 

https://imgur.com/a/Mn7tLBQ

 

i rest my case. 

[billfromlaketravis 11461]

4 minutes ago, theaveragejon said:

https://imgur.com/a/Mn7tLBQ

 

i rest my case. 

Yikes.

[Funk Doctor Spock 12190]

1 hour ago, theaveragejon said:

https://imgur.com/a/Mn7tLBQ

 

i rest my case. 

Whoooooa. Bill was right. 

[PNWhornsfan 391]

Marcus Banks committed to Bama, as expected by pretty much everyone except Toilet Smurf and Chin Pubes. 

[texifornia 56923]

1 minute ago, PNWhornsfan said:

Marcus Banks committed to Bama, as expected by pretty much everyone except Toilet Smurf and Chin Pubes. 

Looch has been pushing the "Jimbo backed off" narrative, which even the goobers at gigem247 are finding hard to believe.

[closetojumping 62610]

5 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Looch has been pushing the "Jimbo backed off" narrative, which even the goobers at gigem247 are finding hard to believe.

I know aggies are an odd, moronic, cultish lot, but it takes a special form of myopic stupidity to believe that ATM backed off of Marcus Banks while Bama went in on the guy. ATM would turn tricks behind the WagABag for commitments if it helped them find LBs and CBs that are worth a shit. I guess if anyone could pull off that level of stupidity, aggies could. 

[PNWhornsfan 391]

5 minutes ago, texifornia said:

Looch has been pushing the "Jimbo backed off" narrative, which even the goobers at gigem247 are finding hard to believe.

In the same way they backed off of Nakobe Dean, so he was forced to go to his second option, UGA.

[Elmer_Fudd 22214]

1 minute ago, closetojumping said:

I know aggies are an odd, moronic, cultish lot, but it takes a special form of myopic stupidity to believe that ATM backed off of Marcus Banks while Bama went in on the guy. ATM would turn tricks behind the WagABag for commitments if it helped them find LBs and CBs that are worth a shit. I guess if anyone could pull off that level of stupidity, aggies could. 

Just look at what they'll be trotting out next year.  Buddy Johnson, who may be decent, we'll see.  2 guys coming off missing all year with injuries in Hines and Okeke.  After that?  Walk-ons and that Pennsylvania LB they paid for 4 hours after arriving for a visit.

[Machinator 32099]

[texaslong 678]

3 minutes ago, Machinator said:

I wonder if the demands had something to do with winning a championship?

[Huckleberry 32851]

Obviously that story is accurate because it makes sense that Saban then caved to her demands.

[Radical Larry 28585]

Yeah, because Jimbo doesn't deal with that shady shit. Give me a fucking break. 

[Gardner Barnes 1562]

Obviously that story is accurate because it makes sense that Saban then caved to her demands.

Of course ya stupid sip. He is scared of Jimbo

[Magus Ossis 2798]

Saban is well known to be easily pushed around

[closetojumping 62610]

26 minutes ago, Magus Ossis said:

Saban is well known to be easily pushed around

What would be shocking if it wasn’t ATM is that these fucking rubes believe this shit. It’s hilarious. 

[RomaVicta 29905]

1 hour ago, Machinator said:

It's a strange cultural tradition to just make stuff up. Actually, they make stuff up once and then just repeat the same story bent to whatever new event they're trying to spin. 

Another familiar one over the years is about how Texas Assistant Coaches show up at high school coaches' offices, put their feet up on the desk and ask for someone to bring them coffee. I've seen that lie about Mack's staff and even Strong's staff. Same fucking story.

I think the Aggies may be idiots.

[Neonmoon 38129]

Reads like someone got outbid. 

I wonder how it went with the money this year. Aggy boosters gave them a sum and no said this is all you get. So Slender Man & Boobs McGee went out early and got them some big name players. They wanted their money to stretch a little, so they got some northeastern nobodies and one or two southwestern nobodies to add some solid meat. Finally, they blew their wad on an instate WR. When Bama starting picking apart their LB & CBs, they didn't have any money left to counter. I could be way off, but you never know. 

[DaysOff 7947]

Sounds good. Do you want your 9.95 in cash or check?

[ClubWhatever 12129]

Mama Banks' demands:

5 AC power outlets
Adequate lighting for a "relaxed atmosphere"
White drapes to cover lockers and/or brick
1 Humidifier
1 Large throw rug — plush and animal print (Cheetah, Leopard) … must be CLEAN, as she will walk on it barefoot.
Pipe and Drape the room in Dark Blue or Black drapes with Icy Blue Chiffon draped nicely on top
6 Candles — Archipelago Black Forest (if you can't get these, please let me know ASAP as we have a 2nd choice of candle for Ri).
4 Small, clear, square vases with White Tulips, no foliage (2nd choice: White Casablanca Lilies no foliage, 3rd choice: White Freesia, no foliage)

[Leanderman 2275]

and flush commodes that work in a room with no bat shit.

[theaveragejon 988]

12 minutes ago, Leanderman said:

and flush commodes that work in a room with no bat shit.

No dice. Can’t have aggy without guano. 

[Newy25 7668]

I love the “she overplayed her hand” comment considering he is signing with Alabama. 

[Scholz 11942]

“He wanted to be here”

Always

https://media.giphy.com/media/H46337dIpEO6Q/giphy.gif

 

[GlenFromTheMailRoom 1604]

10 hours ago, Machinator said:

I'm not a lawyer but these comment feel a bit libelous to me.

[Katfid54 8628]

1 minute ago, GlenFromTheMailRoom said:

I'm not a lawyer but these comment feel a bit libelous to me.

Probably not.

Libel/slander must be statements of present fact.  The poster says that "someone else told him" X thing.  That, in and of itself, probably precludes it from being actionable.

Further, the final sentence says "I'm sure the story will come out and we'll know how much of it is true," which is a statement by the speaker indicating he does not know whether/if any of the statement is true.  That, too, prevents that statement from being considered a statement of present fact.

Here's a similar example: "Word on the street is that Brewster left aggy because he and Jimbo Fisher ended their 10-year long gay love affair.  No idea if that's true.  Just passing along what I'm hearing."  Nothing in those three sentences is presented as fact, even though I'm definitely trying to give them impression that Brewster and Jimbo are star-crossed lovers.  And they may be star-crossed lovers.  But I don't know whether they are or not; I'm just passing along the "word on the street."

[Huckleberry 32851]

Well that and the fact that the post doesn't necessarily imply any legal or moral wrongdoing on the part of the mother. The "list of demands" could be anything, including things like playing time or a guaranteed 4-year scholarship or other perfectly legitimate requests.

Obviously we know the entire episode never happened, just saying there's nothing libelous in that post at all.

[Butch Had Not 2969]

2 hours ago, ClubWhatever said:

Mama Banks' demands:

5 AC power outlets
Adequate lighting for a "relaxed atmosphere"
White drapes to cover lockers and/or brick
1 Humidifier
1 Large throw rug — plush and animal print (Cheetah, Leopard) … must be CLEAN, as she will walk on it barefoot.
Pipe and Drape the room in Dark Blue or Black drapes with Icy Blue Chiffon draped nicely on top
6 Candles — Archipelago Black Forest (if you can't get these, please let me know ASAP as we have a 2nd choice of candle for Ri).
4 Small, clear, square vases with White Tulips, no foliage (2nd choice: White Casablanca Lilies no foliage, 3rd choice: White Freesia, no foliage)

Forgot the bowl of m&m's with no yellow ones in it. Those are the worst.

[Katfid54 8628]

Just now, Butch Had Not said:

Forgot the bowl of m&m's with no yellow ones in it. Those are the worst.

That was in Van Halen's rider, and it was brown M&Ms--not yellow.  Since we've had other people doing Van Halen facts on the recruiting board recently, here's one for you since you brought this up.  Turns out, Van Halen put that in their rider, so they'd have a quick and dirty way of figuring out whether a venue had actually read the rider.

This is from David Lee Roth's autobiography:

Quote

Van Halen was the first band to take huge productions into tertiary, third-level markets. We’d pull up with nine eighteen-wheeler trucks, full of gear, where the standard was three trucks, max. And there were many, many technical errors — whether it was the girders couldn’t support the weight, or the flooring would sink in, or the doors weren’t big enough to move the gear through.

The contract rider read like a version of the Chinese Yellow Pages because there was so much equipment, and so many human beings to make it function. So just as a little test, in the technical aspect of the rider, it would say “Article 148: There will be fifteen amperage voltage sockets at twenty-foot spaces, evenly, providing nineteen amperes …” This kind of thing. And article number 126, in the middle of nowhere, was: “There will be no brown M&M’s in the backstage area, upon pain of forfeiture of the show, with full compensation.”

So, when I would walk backstage, if I saw a brown M&M in that bowl … well, line-check the entire production. Guaranteed you’re going to arrive at a technical error. They didn’t read the contract. Guaranteed you’d run into a problem. Sometimes it would threaten to just destroy the whole show. Something like, literally, life-threatening.

The folks in Pueblo, Colorado, at the university, took the contract rather kinda casual. They had one of these new rubberized bouncy basketball floorings in their arena. They hadn’t read the contract, and weren’t sure, really, about the weight of this production; this thing weighed like the business end of a 747.

I came backstage. I found some brown M&M’s, I went into full Shakespearean “What is this before me?” … you know, with the skull in one hand … and promptly trashed the dressing room. Dumped the buffet, kicked a hole in the door, twelve thousand dollars’ worth of fun.

The staging sank through their floor. They didn’t bother to look at the weight requirements or anything, and this sank through their new flooring and did eighty thousand dollars’ worth of damage to the arena floor. The whole thing had to be replaced. It came out in the press that I discovered brown M&M’s and did eighty-five thousand dollars’ worth of damage to the backstage area.

Well, who am I to get in the way of a good rumor?

 

[texifornia 56923]

3 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

That was in Van Halen's rider, and it was brown M&Ms--not yellow.  Since we've had other people doing Van Halen facts on the recruiting board recently, here's one for you since you brought this up.  Turns out, Van Halen put that in their rider, so they'd have a quick and dirty way of figuring out whether a venue had actually read the rider. 

This is from David Lee Roth's autobiography: 

 

Much like the McDonald's coffee lawsuit, it's the quintessential story that sounds frivolous in synopsis and is revealed to have actual merit once you dig down a bit.

[Katfid54 8628]

1 minute ago, texifornia said:

Much like the McDonald's coffee lawsuit, it's the quintessential story that sounds frivolous in synopsis and is revealed to have actual merit once you dig down a bit.

I've also heard on this very board that Van Halen is doing another tour soon, with Michael Anthony on bass.

[closetojumping 62610]

1 minute ago, Katfid54 said:

I've also heard on this very board that Van Halen is doing another tour soon, with Michael Anthony on bass.

I've always enjoyed the Van Halen story on how "Jump" came to fruition, including the part about David Lee Roth basically being driven around Malibu while smoking weed and working on the lyrics. They were fucking genius and nuts before the chick from The Wedding Singer wore their concert shirt, jinxed them, and broke the band up.

[Butch Had Not 2969]

12 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

I've also heard on this very board that Van Halen is doing another tour soon, with Michael Anthony on bass.

Did eddie kick out Wolfgang? What an ass.

Recruiting related, jake Smith's favorite van halen song is Romeo Delight.

[Coelenterate Fuccboi 13091]

What’s happening here? 

[Leanderman 2275]

gomers Van Halen Song "Where Have All The Good Times Gone".

[Katfid54 8628]

1 minute ago, Casual Encounter said:

What’s happening here? 

Seems like maybe you Jumped in at the wrong time.  There's been an Eruption of Van Halen talk.  Why, you ask?  Well, You Really Got Me.  But Right Now, that's what we're doing.  I guess maybe I'll Wait until we're back on topic for recruiting.  But at least we Ain't Talking Bout Love, right? 

To get this thread back on topic (I realize that I'm the one who derailed it), I've heard that this year's Elite 11 final will be played in PANAMA.

[EZ$ 2104]

Poor dude. Overplayed his hand and ended up at some second rate football school like Bama. 

[Butch Had Not 2969]

7 minutes ago, Katfid54 said:

Seems like maybe you Jumped in at the wrong time.  There's been an Eruption of Van Halen talk.  Why, you ask?  Well, You Really Got Me.  But Right Now, that's what we're doing.  I guess maybe I'll Wait until we're back on topic for recruiting.  But at least we Ain't Talking Bout Love, right? 

To get this thread back on topic (I realize that I'm the one who derailed it), I've heard that this year's Elite 11 final will be played in PANAMA.

Can we just finish what we started?

[Pato del Muerto 52489]

Derailed?  The preferred nomenclature is unchained. 

[Noah Fence 480]

Ya dern sip, the fightin texum bulldogs have a winnin' rekerd against you feghs since 1984.

Edited January 7, 2019 by Noah Fence

[Katfid54 8628]

19 minutes ago, Noah Fence said:

Ya dern sip, the fightin texum bulldogs have a winnin' rekerd against you feghs since 1984.

Now that's a nice, subtle Van Halen reference.

[tejas60 3533]

this thread done gone 5250

[RomaVicta 29905]

I'd be grateful for a synopsis of what has happened in A&M recruiting since early signing.

It looks like they lost Banks at a Van Halen concert, but I'm not sure if they've lost out on some of the other guys they thought they had lined up.

Thanks in advance. Congrats to the poster that had horrifying sex with my mother at a Van Halen concert.

[Spawn of Cthulhu 2241]

aggy apparently has Sammy Hagar rated higher than David Lee Roth and has gone all-in on him.