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Flight disrupting assholes Thread of Shame.

crash_davis

By crash_davis
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Nicole44

Nicole44 22072

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^^^ Especially on short flights. I mean just get in your damn seat and sit there and shut the fuck up. Turn off your phone and fasten your seatbelt and do what is asked of you. People sitting there with massive amounts of food or acting like they are sitting in their recliner at home and taking their shoes and socks off. Fuck that. My other pet peeve are people who know damn well their suitcase is too large for the overhead and try to get it on the plane anyway. When Covid hit they used to seat the back of the plane first. It sped things up considerably loading the plane. I wish they’d go back to it. I mean sure seat those with any disabilities or kiddos first but then just go from the back to the front. It would be so much faster but first class would probably never go for that. 

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MissingInAction
MissingInAction

Spirit needs to pick up some Popeyes employees out of the portal.

Nicole44
Nicole44

Since we don’t have a flight thread of badasses I thought I’d put this here. RIP to that beautiful courageous lady.    Full text of the Tweet: Neerja Bhanot was a 22-year-old flight a

Your Mom
Your Mom

What.. are we supposed to start asking their age now?

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Chewbacca

Chewbacca 7780

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No no that will not do at all. I must see the trudge of human detritus go by as I sip my free beverage and stretch my legs out. 
You got that right. One of the best parts of my last flight from DEN- LHR was listening to the jealous comments as the cattle were sent past my seat on their way back to steerage.

"These seats lay down?"

Warms the cockles of my heart.
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royiv

royiv 9333

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On 1/21/2023 at 4:37 PM, YGIFS said:

it’s gotten to the point where I don’t even bother telling my wife about helping subdue rude or violent passengers with the crew.  It’s as mundane a story as spending enduring being stuck on the tarmac for an hour. 

I get that being a gasbag is your shtick, but please regale us of the tales of all the rude or violent passengers you have subdued. I fly quite a bit - posting from a plane right now - and I must be incredibly lucky or you're the most unlucky person because I've never encountered a passenger that had to be subdued on a flight.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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I said "help".  not subdued by myself.  three different times.  1 sexual assaulter, 1 violent drunk, 1 senior citizen whacked out on some kinda meds.  I didn't actually pin them down until we landed, nor did I ever say as much.  Was a time I was flying 100,000 miles a year and had to help out a few times.  Fly enoguh times on enough econonmy cabin runs in this country and you'll see what's what.  It was varying degrees, never posted or acted like I was some hero that saved a flight.  You don't like me, I get it.   

The most unlucky people in flight aren't me, or you having to read my shit.  The most unlucky people in flight are the ones that die in plane crashes fuckstick.

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royiv

royiv 9333

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32 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

I said "help".  not subdued by myself.  three different times.  1 sexual assaulter, 1 violent drunk, 1 senior citizen whacked out on some kinda meds.  I didn't actually pin them down until we landed, nor did I ever say as much.  Was a time I was flying 100,000 miles a year and had to help out a few times.  Fly enoguh times on enough econonmy cabin runs in this country and you'll see what's what.  It was varying degrees, never posted or acted like I was some hero that saved a flight.  You don't like me, I get it.   

The most unlucky people in flight aren't me, or you having to read my shit.  The most unlucky people in flight are the ones that die in plane crashes fuckstick.

WTF? That's the weirdest edit I've seen in a long time. There has been no mention of plane crashes and you make it some weird virtue signaling thing. For the record, there hasn't been a fatal commercial crash in this country since 2009 fuckstick. Since then you've been subduing people on planes so often that it's not even worth a mention to the wife when you get home.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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i merely meant that the unlucky ones in the air aren't the ones on planes with rude/violent people, it's the ones who never land safely.  Worldwide.  I never limited my comments to domestic flights.  The shit we have to put up with on those videos pales in comparison to what else happens up there.  I dunno, been on some shitty flights.  Other people have been on really shitty flights.  Still others never make it back from those extra fucked up flights.  Sometimes unruly passengers do lead to plane crashes.  I don't know if you got that email.  

How about this, I hate flying.  And I really hate people, . 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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Well, the business went defunct.  We changed the name to "Labia Solo".........and a lot of women's soccer players suddenly became interested in our merch.  NTTAWWT.

And as Eddie Izzard said, "Things are going well.............very well."  We're supposed to be doing a JV with Board's Head before the next World Cup.\\

 

Or so we HOPE.  

(true story---where is that place?, don't really wanna google it)

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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^

I'd love to see a flight attendant answer that question with, "Oh wait, you're platinum status?  Why didn't you say so, sir?"

"Why yes, I am.  Thank you for understanding.  I can really stay on the plane?"

"No, I'm kidding asshole.  Get the fuck off.  Airport P.D. will greet you at the jetway."

 

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CurlyDumps

CurlyDumps 4476

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Some years ago I sat behind a couple and their one kid who was maybe 3-4 years old.  The kid was in his dad's lap and whining and crying because he wanted to be with his mom. But this piece of shit macho man stubbornly refused to give in.  He forced his son to stay in his lap, and the kid cried and whined and whimpered the ENTIRE fucking flight while the parents bickered in hushed whispers. Two hours and fifty minutes into the three hour flight, Billy "no mommas boys allowed" Badass finally caves and hands the kid over. Kid is silent as a church mouse for the last ten minutes of the flight.

 

 

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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Yeah, two places you don't show off your parenting ethos---3 hour flights and 3 hour courtroom trials.  You wanna make your stand at Applebee's...I'm all for it.  Society needs to have some discomfort to progress.  But at 5 miles above the Earth?  You do what you have to do to get little Timmy to shut the fuck up and not freak out.  If that means Mommy's nipple, he's gonna suck on Mommy's nipple.  If that means I offer to take his apple juice from the galley to his seat and mix in a tylenol PM and vodka, then that's what we do.  Got it tough guy?  

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Bateshorn

Bateshorn 9928

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3 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah, two places you don't show off your parenting ethos---3 hour flights and 3 hour courtroom trials.  You wanna make your stand at Applebee's...I'm all for it.  Society needs to have some discomfort to progress.  But at 5 miles above the Earth?  You do what you have to do to get little Timmy to shut the fuck up and not freak out.  If that means Mommy's nipple, he's gonna suck on Mommy's nipple.  If that means I offer to take his apple juice from the galley to his seat and mix in a tylenol PM and vodka, then that's what we do.  Got it tough guy?  

Lol.  My kids are in college now, so IDGAF if people judge:

My first wife and I benedryled our kids when they were young for flying.  It has a couple of benefits:  as a first gen antihistimine, it has anti-motion sickness properties.  As a mild disassociative, it makes kids docile and sleepy.   One time we boarded the flight, got settled, and proceeded to put a dropper full in each child.  Since we were four across, I was across the aisle, although we often would switch to allow the other person a few minutes of not having to be on child overwatch.  The dude in the window looked me dead ass in the eyes and said thank you and bought both my wife and I a drink once the cart came by. 

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26438

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21 minutes ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah, two places you don't show off your parenting ethos---3 hour flights and 3 hour courtroom trials.  You wanna make your stand at Applebee's...I'm all for it.  Society needs to have some discomfort to progress.  But at 5 miles above the Earth?  You do what you have to do to get little Timmy to shut the fuck up and not freak out.  If that means Mommy's nipple, he's gonna suck on Mommy's nipple.  If that means I offer to take his apple juice from the galley to his seat and mix in a tylenol PM and vodka, then that's what we do.  Got it tough guy?  

life suicide GIF by David

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Tylerocks

Tylerocks 2553

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18 minutes ago, Bateshorn said:

Lol.  My kids are in college now, so IDGAF if people judge:

My first wife and I benedryled our kids when they were young for flying.  It has a couple of benefits:  as a first gen antihistimine, it has anti-motion sickness properties.  As a mild disassociative, it makes kids docile and sleepy.   One time we boarded the flight, got settled, and proceeded to put a dropper full in each child.  Since we were four across, I was across the aisle, although we often would switch to allow the other person a few minutes of not having to be on child overwatch.  The dude in the window looked me dead ass in the eyes and said thank you and bought both my wife and I a drink once the cart came by. 

This.

 

More parents should drug their kids for flights.

You sir, are a great American.

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ABSR

ABSR 5320

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4 hours ago, YGIFS said:

Yeah, two places you don't show off your parenting ethos---3 hour flights and 3 hour courtroom trials.  You wanna make your stand at Applebee's...I'm all for it.  Society needs to have some discomfort to progress.  But at 5 miles above the Earth?  You do what you have to do to get little Timmy to shut the fuck up and not freak out.  If that means Mommy's nipple, he's gonna suck on Mommy's nipple.  If that means I offer to take his apple juice from the galley to his seat and mix in a tylenol PM and vodka, then that's what we do.  Got it tough guy?  

You can make your stand at Applebee's, but that stand better involve the parent taking the kid out of the restaurant and to the car or to the parking lot.  If your kid is acting up, remove them from being around other people. 

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GenXer

GenXer 2896

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6 hours ago, CurlyDumps said:

Some years ago I sat behind a couple and their one kid who was maybe 3-4 years old.  The kid was in his dad's lap and whining and crying because he wanted to be with his mom. But this piece of shit macho man stubbornly refused to give in.  He forced his son to stay in his lap, and the kid cried and whined and whimpered the ENTIRE fucking flight while the parents bickered in hushed whispers. Two hours and fifty minutes into the three hour flight, Billy "no mommas boys allowed" Badass finally caves and hands the kid over. Kid is silent as a church mouse for the last ten minutes of the flight.

 

 

Flying has become so much more pleasant once noise canceling headphones were invented.

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Steel Shank

Steel Shank 9430

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7 hours ago, CurlyDumps said:

Some years ago I sat behind a couple and their one kid who was maybe 3-4 years old.  The kid was in his dad's lap and whining and crying because he wanted to be with his mom. But this piece of shit macho man stubbornly refused to give in.  He forced his son to stay in his lap, and the kid cried and whined and whimpered the ENTIRE fucking flight while the parents bickered in hushed whispers. Two hours and fifty minutes into the three hour flight, Billy "no mommas boys allowed" Badass finally caves and hands the kid over. Kid is silent as a church mouse for the last ten minutes of the flight.

 

 

Icy cold blooded.

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TornACL

TornACL 7722

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4 hours ago, GenXer said:

Flying has become so much more pleasant once noise canceling headphones were invented.

I don't know how anyone flies without them. Not only does it drown out the crying or bitching but it tells the passengers next to you that you have no interest in talking to them about their vacation to Disneyworld.

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956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34739

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On 1/21/2023 at 11:47 PM, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I still don’t understand people that try to talk their way from getting kicked off a flight. When pilot tells you you’re leaving, you gone. And there are always the passengers that demand to see posted rules that they violated. This ain’t your $7/hr job at McDonald’s that has a rule book. If you can’t act right in society, you get to walk back into the terminal.

and while it is occasionally a man, the videos are normally women who are above the rules, in their mind.

Filming a TikTok on board should get you ejected, STFU and put your phone away. No one gives a shit that you’re on a plane.

LMAO at “you jumped in my video.”  
 

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On 1/21/2023 at 9:10 PM, Nicole44 said:

^^^ Especially on short flights. I mean just get in your damn seat and sit there and shut the fuck up. Turn off your phone and fasten your seatbelt and do what is asked of you. People sitting there with massive amounts of food or acting like they are sitting in their recliner at home and taking their shoes and socks off. Fuck that. My other pet peeve are people who know damn well their suitcase is too large for the overhead and try to get it on the plane anyway. When Covid hit they used to seat the back of the plane first. It sped things up considerably loading the plane. I wish they’d go back to it. I mean sure seat those with any disabilities or kiddos first but then just go from the back to the front. It would be so much faster but first class would probably never go for that. 

Aside from overhead bin space, I don't see why boarding first is a perk.

Fuck that.

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jdhorn92

jdhorn92 1552

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On 1/23/2023 at 8:12 PM, TornACL said:

I don't know how anyone flies without them. Not only does it drown out the crying or bitching but it tells the passengers next to you that you have no interest in talking to them about their vacation to Disneyworld.

I just tell them I sell Life Insurance.

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Nice Guy Eddie

Nice Guy Eddie 13515

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When you start having confrontational words with a flight attendant, the path to getting tossed or arrested is right in front of you. It's the passenger's decision to take those steps.

Too many people got to keep it real when they feel they're being disrespected. It's very telling when someone professes to be a Christian but refuses to turn the other cheek when insulted.

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YGIFS

YGIFS 19452

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Two things:

1.  I'm looking at those .gifs from Cheeseweasel.  Tell me, if you're anywhere near me age...that you can't hear in your mind's ear...the exact pitch of the airplane cruising sound after each of those scenes.  It's a particular pitch from "Airplane" that was never used before or after that only we know as a generation.  

2.  What the fuck with U.S. airline passengers?  We all love to shit on Amtrak and Megabus riders.  But what the fuck?  You'd think their misbehavior would be more viral online?  But nope, it's just our white-ass cuntiness across myriad airlines that shows what fucksticks we are.  Anybody have a cache of immigrant assholes rolling dirty on our highways and biways and rails and trails?  they exist but not en masse.  But put somebody with $19, coach ticket, smart phone, and a smarter image neck pillow at 5 miles above the Earth and it's Patriot Games all over again 

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956 Worldwide

956 Worldwide 34739

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24 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

When you start having confrontational words with a flight attendant, the path to getting tossed or arrested is right in front of you. It's the passenger's decision to take those steps.

Too many people got to keep it real when they feel they're being disrespected. It's very telling when someone professes to be a Christian but refuses to turn the other cheek when insulted.

Arguing with flight attendants is a quick pass back to the terminal. But everyone knows if you yell long enough and loud enough at gate agents they’ll put you on the secret plane that isn’t delayed by weather. 

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RPM

RPM 26329

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On 1/25/2023 at 3:48 PM, YGIFS said:

Tell me, if you're anywhere near me age...that you can't hear in your mind's ear...the exact pitch of the airplane cruising sound after each of those scenes.  It's a particular pitch from "Airplane" that was never used before or after that only we know as a generation.  

I thought it was the same sfx from Zero Hour, which the parody was based on.

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