Flight disrupting assholes Thread of Shame.

[Anastasis 23475]

Walking into an airport for the first time since Feb 2020 tomorrow. Ready to throw down with belligerents.  Packing a few extra zip ties over the normal allotment I carry with me everywhere I go in case shit gets sideways. 

[Gatorubet 30246]

1 hour ago, GoPokes83 said:

Couple of things here. 1. There doesn’t look to be that much popcorn.

WTF?  That much??   Do you live in a movie theater?

[RPM 26323]

4 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpEO22xpXk9/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=63b33230-1758-46aa-a40b-65b0ea8285b5&ig_mid=5A8588D0-8A16-44E7-8E8C-038954F1EFF7
 

looks like American is not plus sized friendly.  May have to make a move. 

UPS, FedEx, Kalitta Air

[YGIFS 19452]

Edited April 20, 2023 by YGIFS
She flew Kalitta, and this is what happened. Hence the policy. csb/ my uncle-in-law was the left chair pilot of that bird.

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

8 hours ago, GoPokes83 said:

WTF are you doing letting a 2 year old sit by themself on a plane?

Because they are messy and noisy.

[High Plains Drifter 11050]

 

#teamcleanupyourbrat'smessontheplane

 

 

[SydneyCarton 48110]

17 hours ago, mdmost said:

Once again, I don't understand why this tiny tin can in the sky makes people act so ridiculously at the smallest thing/inconvenience. Babies cry. Yes, it sucks if they do it around you. Just because you buy a ticket on a flying tin can doesn't mean you are entitled to a noise free flight. The airlines really need to bar these people from flying on any airline. Just collude together for the good of the industry, your flight crews, and your customers. You simply lose the ability to fly on an airplane if you have one of these incidents. If you can't handle the miracle of getting on a piece of metal and magically arriving somewhere far away in a few hours then you can forfeit that luxury. How many people who had to deboard that plane had their day destroyed by this moron? How many missed some event because they were now late arriving to their destination? You have got to start heavily fining or banning people who pull this shit. Draw a line in the sand and enforce it. 

Seriously, I don't get it. Granted, Covid sort of fucked this up, but any business has the right to refuse service based on their own guidelines, right? As long as it's not discriminatory in nature, but based on behavior. No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service. It doesn't happen much anymore, but I've heard of people being banned from movie theaters for talking or disruption when I was younger. Restaurants can certainly refuse to serve you. Why can't you make a list of pricks and refuse to sell them airline tickets?

[EuroHorn 3265]

14 hours ago, fattyflattie said:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpEO22xpXk9/?utm_source=ig_embed&ig_rid=63b33230-1758-46aa-a40b-65b0ea8285b5&ig_mid=5A8588D0-8A16-44E7-8E8C-038954F1EFF7
 

looks like American is not plus sized friendly.  May have to make a move. 

I’m thinking of starting a new airline to address this specific problem 

 

[RDCanecutter 26453]

28 minutes ago, EuroHorn said:

I’m thinking of starting a new airline to address this specific problem 

 

As if that woman could walk half that far.

[RPM 26323]

They obviously can fit. I don't see the problem.

Give 'em some snacks and an iPad then lock 'em below.

[Anastasis 23475]

Damn. This is uneventful so far. Other than the Bloody Mary tab 

[Mother mopar 3319]

I’m thinking of starting a new airline to address this specific problem 
 

That thing would never get off the ground and not because of her but, it's a C-5. There's a reason they call it F.R.E.D.

[Celery Man 20968]

 

[Eskimohorn 5635]

Oh, I literally thought you meant they were fucking on the plane.  Like literally swapping/swinging.  I've seen stranger shit.  
I think I mentioned it upthread, I was on a bird years ago and got up to take a piss.  I think West Coast because I can usually make it 3 hours without getting up but more than that and I gotta go.  So I open the lavatory door in the galley, there's no attendants back there and it's one dude doing a line of coke off the other dude's erect dick.  I mean the bottom guy's head was in the way but the other guy starts pulling up his underwear and the other guy still has the rolled up bill in his hand and there's little cloud of dust slowly hitting the piss-strewn floor.  None of us said anything, I just closed the door and walked away.  I'm guessing the plan for them to do a line of blow and blow him.  They walked back to their seats in front of me a couple rows with a nod.  Sent me a few drinks and we gave another series of glances in the arrival terminal.  Hey man, if you're not obnoxious, rude, or posing a threat to the safety of my flight---Imma let you guys do your thing and not be a narc. 
I'd like to think they still tell the story of the time they almost joined the gay mile high club over Mormon Utah but for they forgot to lock the latch and watched this dark skinned guy turn as pale white as the coke they'd just wasted.  It was a simpler time of air travel when the coke was just laced with dick sweat and blue lavatory water.  Now you got your goddamn fentanyl, 

[Homercles 10206]

11 hours ago, Celery Man said:

 

I knew all that media attention was going to make them get creative, but I didn’t expect the Rainey killer to get that gruesome wow 

[956 Worldwide 34715]

I need a surly ruling on this—

A couple years ago, I was on a transatlantic flight (returning from a funeral, as cliche as that sounds). And I was using the USB port in my seat to throw a charge on my phone. I fell asleep about a movie and a half into the flight. 
 

The mofo across the aisle from me SHOOK ME AWAKE and asked if he could use my charger for his phone, which he had been talking loudly during boarding to takeoff on until the FA told him he had to hang up. 
 

Now, I believe firmly I could have invoked the “needed killing”’ defense if I had strangled him to death— but in international airspace, would I have been charged at origin, destination, or closest country to where we were at the moment of killing? 

[SydneyCarton 48110]

27 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I need a surly ruling on this—

A couple years ago, I was on a transatlantic flight (returning from a funeral, as cliche as that sounds). And I was using the USB port in my seat to throw a charge on my phone. I fell asleep about a movie and a half into the flight. 
 

The mofo across the aisle from me SHOOK ME AWAKE and asked if he could use my charger for his phone, which he had been talking loudly during boarding to takeoff on until the FA told him he had to hang up. 
 

Now, I believe firmly I could have invoked the “needed killing”’ defense if I had strangled him to death— but in international airspace, would I have been charged at origin, destination, or closest country to where we were at the moment of killing? 

I would assume it's wherever you landed. Sure, you hadn't entered the country yet, but you'd also already left the other country. At some point, I'd assume it's where you're standing. 

Edited April 21, 2023 by SydneyCarton

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

28 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I need a surly ruling on this—

A couple years ago, I was on a transatlantic flight (returning from a funeral, as cliche as that sounds). And I was using the USB port in my seat to throw a charge on my phone. I fell asleep about a movie and a half into the flight. 
 

The mofo across the aisle from me SHOOK ME AWAKE and asked if he could use my charger for his phone, which he had been talking loudly during boarding to takeoff on until the FA told him he had to hang up. 
 

Now, I believe firmly I could have invoked the “needed killing”’ defense if I had strangled him to death— but in international airspace, would I have been charged at origin, destination, or closest country to where we were at the moment of killing? 

Assuming you were over the ocean when this occurred, maritime law would be applicable. You'd be tied to the Yard Arm and/or keel hauled. 

[NeverMarryAStripper 21907]

If I'm not mistaken, laws of the country of the plane's registration would apply if the plane is in international airspace

[markstanco 12577]

Need clarification on transatlantic flight.... Is that actually a Pacific flight?  You never know these days and it is rude to assume. 

[YGIFS 19452]

You can't say "trans" anymore, it's Cis-Atlantic, or Cislantic for short.  Or long.  Depends.  

[locodos 5387]

On 4/19/2023 at 2:45 PM, RDCanecutter said:

We come from the "Go pick a switch" people.

same

[RPM 26323]

5 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

would I have been charged at origin, destination, or closest country to where we were at the moment of killing? 

Having been a maritime law enforcement officer, I know this one. A crime committed in transit, in international waters, would be enforced en route, offender taken under arrest and released to the nearest Federal magistrate at the Port of Entry.

[crash_davis 23113]

She knows her laws.

 

[RDCanecutter 26453]

Maritime Law.

Strong "did you call Greg" vibe.

[956 Worldwide 34715]

8 hours ago, RPM said:

Having been a maritime law enforcement officer, I know this one. A crime committed in transit, in international waters, would be enforced en route, offender taken under arrest and released to the nearest Federal magistrate at the Port of Entry.

But if the flag in the courtroom has a gold fringe, it’s an admiralty court and has no authority over me. 

[Bookman 4639]

5 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

But if the flag in the courtroom has a gold fringe, it’s an admiralty court and has no authority over me. 

That depends. Is the name on your driver's license in all caps?

[RDCanecutter 26453]

19 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

I need a surly ruling on this—

A couple years ago, I was on a transatlantic flight (returning from a funeral, as cliche as that sounds). And I was using the USB port in my seat to throw a charge on my phone. I fell asleep about a movie and a half into the flight. 
 

The mofo across the aisle from me SHOOK ME AWAKE and asked if he could use my charger for his phone, which he had been talking loudly during boarding to takeoff on until the FA told him he had to hang up. 
 

Now, I believe firmly I could have invoked the “needed killing”’ defense if I had strangled him to death— but in international airspace, would I have been charged at origin, destination, or closest country to where we were at the moment of killing? 

In the Military Police, we were taught that nobody was 100% accountable for what they did or said the first 30 seconds they were awake. So if you'd been fast, and flying into the Mythical Land of Military Police, you'd have to do some paperwork and maybe sit in the office for a few hours, but I believe you'd walk.

[Neonmoon 38129]

I will never get tired of seeing entitled people forced to obey the law 

[YGIFS 19452]

And that female passengers name?  You guessed it:

Karen Miranda 

[DefinitelyNotHollywoodColt 12301]

On 4/19/2023 at 10:34 PM, Anastasis said:

Walking into an airport for the first time since Feb 2020 tomorrow. Ready to throw down with belligerents.  Packing a few extra zip ties over the normal allotment I carry with me everywhere I go in case shit gets sideways. 

Damn Bubble Boy, welcome back!

[PRONG HORN 3147]

 

[YGIFS 19452]

Do you want ants?  Because this is how we get ants!

-Uh, we're gonna get ants at 37,000 feet ma'am?  

Oh goddamnit, it's fucking on! 

[Armybrat 40851]

On 4/19/2023 at 1:36 PM, Brothahorn said:

I hated green beans or just about anything green as a kid. One summer day, my mom wouldn't let me go play unless I ate a bowl. So my smart ass came up with the great idea of just throwing them under the dinner table in the corner. My dumbass didn't think ahead that at some point, they would have to be cleaned up. So I 'finished' my green beans, showed my mom, and take off for the front door.

Just as my hand touches the door, I hear, "Brothahorn, get your black ass back in here."

Of course, she had moved the table to sweep.

Momma told me to pick them all up, put them back in the bowl and eat them. I thought my grandma had saved me, when she told my mom not to make me eat those off the floor.

"Give him a new bowl."

I never threw food on the floor again.

You shoulda used more imagination. 
I asked Mom if It was ok to eat my meal in the living room so I wouldn’t miss the Hopalong Cassidy show.

Hid my carrots down the side of the sofa cushions, where she discovered them all dried up a couple weeks later while vacuuming.

[Armybrat 40851]

On 4/10/2023 at 5:13 PM, YGIFS said:

I wasn't old enough, but in the 1980's during the surge of mousse and gel, did grown men refer to that stuff as "Product"?

I know Armybrat was a Dapper Dan man since the Great War.

I used butch wax in high school to keep my flattop straight up.

[EuroHorn 3265]

15 hours ago, PRONG HORN said:

 

Imagine being the only Asian passenger on the plane.  Awkward 

[Hermanator 7113]

3 hours ago, EuroHorn said:

Imagine being the only Asian passenger on the plane.  Awkward 

[GoPokes83 2240]

 

Is there not a freaking Dust Buster on these planes? I like how the woman they interviewed had some insight into how tired or not everyone on the plane was.

[TKthunder2 4992]

On 4/22/2023 at 7:15 PM, PRONG HORN said:

 

Again, unpopular opinion, could the flight attendant just clean up the fucking rice?

Whoever spilled it is an asshole, but holding up ALL PASSENGERS for an hour and possibly delaying another flight as well?

I don’t envy their jobs but it has very low entry requirements and mildly above average pay due to this exact type of bullshit.

Maybe the airlines just need to invest in a Dyson for every plane, then maybe they’d just suck it up and get back to serving drinks.

[956 Worldwide 34715]

Lulz.  I don’t know how airplanes work, but shouldn’t the captain be able to tell his crew, “no, we aren’t making a whole plane of people late over this shit?” Maybe he was married to her. 
 

Also, seriously fuck people who bring shit like fried rice on airplanes. 

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

7 hours ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Also, seriously fuck people who bring shit like fried rice on airplanes. 

When airplanes stop serving shit, I'll stop bringing decent food on the plane.

[Bevo 13579]

5 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

When airplanes stop serving shit, I'll stop bringing decent food on the plane.

You realize that is Panda Express fried rice, right?

[Guest]

On 4/18/2023 at 4:00 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

What are you teaching your kids? 

A) Make a mess, let "the help" deal with it

B) Personal responsibility

 

Easy fucking answer.

A 2-year old isn’t going to learn that lesson. Lol. Dad has a right to be pissed. I just probably wouldn’t have tweeted about it. He looks like a bitch. 

[Guest]

On 4/19/2023 at 11:34 PM, Anastasis said:

Walking into an airport for the first time since Feb 2020 tomorrow. Ready to throw down with belligerents.  Packing a few extra zip ties over the normal allotment I carry with me everywhere I go in case shit gets sideways. 

 Cool story bro. How is it possible you have not flown in 3.2 years?  I find this implausible. 

[RDCanecutter 26453]

58 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

When airplanes stop serving shit, I'll stop bringing decent food on the plane.

You gotta stick with Air France. Pretty sure they'll start running puddle jumpers around here if we learn to shrug and look ironically amused.

[956 Worldwide 34715]

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

When airplanes stop serving shit, I'll stop bringing decent food on the plane.

Eat that shit in the terminal, no one wants to fly inside a Panda Express. If you’re on a flight long enough to get meal service, then the airline meal is less offensive to your neighbors, and not at all worse than whatever rapidly congealing and cooling takeout glop you brought on board. 
 

If it’s not a meal service flight, then ask yourself why you can’t be satiated with a pastry or candy bar or cold sandwich? Who needs to shovel fried rice or hamberders down their gullet on an Atlanta to Houston flight? 
 

Bringing hot food on a plane is uncouth.  

[Cheeseweasel 26438]

4 minutes ago, 956 Worldwide said:

Bringing hot food on a plane is uncouth.  

Couth went out the door when assholes started dipping on planes.

[956 Worldwide 34715]

9 hours ago, TKthunder2 said:

Again, unpopular opinion, could the flight attendant just clean up the fucking rice?

Whoever spilled it is an asshole, but holding up ALL PASSENGERS for an hour and possibly delaying another flight as well?

I don’t envy their jobs but it has very low entry requirements and mildly above average pay due to this exact type of bullshit.

Maybe the airlines just need to invest in a Dyson for every plane, then maybe they’d just suck it up and get back to serving drinks.

This is all due to airlines cutting staff and turnaround times and ground crew servicing and asking FAs to do custodial shit, which they don’t wanna do— so they get pissed and ask the passengers to do it. Same thing with the popcorn.  

Do not reach into a seat back pocket with if you aren’t sure you’re on the days first flight and the plane was serviced on the overnight. 

[956 Worldwide 34715]

Just now, Cheeseweasel said:

Couth went out the door when assholes started dipping on planes.

Dipping on a plane should be the ejector seat. 

[ClubWhatever 12149]

Most planes have resident roaches.  Some have mice.