Bryan Harsin at Auburn (Spoiler: He Got Fired)

[Tex Pete 20,348]

2 hours ago, Pato del Muerto said:

What has harsin done to warrant any level of support for him?

Clesi Crochet

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

13 hours ago, Parliament said:

I've never cheated on my wife with a dime half my age, so help me understand what happens after he's fired.  Does he go to a hotel and wait for divorce papers?  Call her sister and ask her to help mediate a reconciliation?  And in what scenarios does he end up staying together with the mistress?

Seems to me like a year from now, the only person who MIGHT be happy is Harsin's soon to be ex.  

 

Lol. You don’t cheat on your wife because you respect her. Harsin gets away with it because he has kids in their teens, he makes all the money thereby has all the social status and she has no identity of her own or worthwhile  skills that can give her any autonomy. 

We call that a “ Cage of Gold”

Harsin’s wife best course of action is to go make Coach a sandwich.

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

5 hours ago, Tex Pete said:

Clesi Crochet

 

No argument. He’s a closer.

[Francisco 2.0 32,389]

An alternate viewpoint on Harsin's dilemma, and it has nothing to do with a sidepiece:

https://theathletic.com/3114929/2022/02/06/staples-bryan-harsin-has-shown-who-he-is-as-a-recruiter-and-thats-why-auburn-wants-him-out/

 

Quote

Outgoing Auburn president Jay Gogue told the school’s board of trustees Friday that administrators are “trying to separate fact from fiction” regarding football coach Bryan Harsin. To that end, athletic director Allen Greene and university chief operating officer Ronald Burgess — a retired Army lieutenant general who spent his career in the intelligence community — have spent much of the past week interviewing people in and around the program in an attempt to determine whether Auburn should keep Harsin.

 

Quote

The topics of discussion are treatment of players and the veracity (or lack thereof) of some salacious rumors. The first topic is a matter of perspective — evidenced by the fairly wide range of opinions from current and former players about Harsin’s regime. The answers may or may not help separate the fact from the fiction. But there is one fact that no one will or can dispute, and it probably explains better than any other why Harsin’s job is at stake so early in his tenure. If we want to make it as simple as possible, we can boil it down to one number.

No. 141.

 

Quote

That is the highest ranking on the 247Sports composite of any of Auburn’s signees in the class of 2022. So congrats to Mobile, Ala., linebacker Robert Woodyard on that spot. Auburn’s class ranked No. 18 in the country, which sounds great until one realizes that it’s only eighth in the SEC and behind four of Auburn’s annual opponents (No. 1 Texas A&M, No. 2 Alabama, No. 3 Georgia and No. 12 LSU).

Why does this matter? Harsin has only been at the school 14 months since he was hired away from Boise State. He was hired after Auburn paid predecessor Gus Malzahn $20.5 million to leave. Shouldn’t Harsin have more time to establish his recruiting ties before he gets judged too harshly?

 

Spoiler

History says we can render a verdict on Harsin as a recruiter right now. While no coach should be judged on the recruiting class he signs within weeks of his hiring, coaches absolutely should be judged on the first class they sign after one full recruiting cycle in office. That class tends to tell us exactly what kind of recruiter that coach is. And based on Harsin’s performance, he’ll never be the kind of recruiter who can build a roster that can produce what the people at Auburn want. This is one of two programs (Tennessee is the other) that must play Alabama and Georgia every year. Fair or not, the Auburn coach has to be capable of staying somewhat competitive with those programs on the recruiting trail. And those two programs just so happen to have won the past two national titles and have recruited better than anyone else during the past five years.

This situation is actually strikingly similar to Dan Mullen’s situation at Florida last year. The difference: Harsin went 6-7 and ended his first season on a five-game losing streak while Mullen went 10-3 and beat Michigan in the Peach Bowl to finish the 2018 season. Mullen kept winning on the field thanks to some special players he inherited — quarterback Kyle Trask was already on the roster and tight end Kyle Pitts had committed to Jim McElwain’s staff before it was fired — and that obscured the fact that with every recruiting cycle, Mullen’s Florida fell further and further behind Kirby Smart’s Georgia. Then it came to a head in 2021 after Trask and Pitts moved on to the NFL. Smart won the national title.

Mullen got fired in part because he helped point out the glaring difference between his attitude toward recruiting and Smart’s attitude toward recruiting with a bizarre freak-out about a benign question the Monday after his team lost to Smart’s Bulldogs. Mullen didn’t seem to understand that his job as Florida’s coach was to win the national title, and landing top recruiting classes is one of the basic requirements. Harsin also may not understand that the Auburn coach’s job is to win the national title. As I wrote when this was happening to Mullen, none of this is fair. They only give out one national title a year, and national titles are extremely difficult to win. But I’ll once again quote the prophet Don Draper: THAT’S WHAT THE MONEY IS FOR.

Unlike Mullen, Harsin didn’t have multiple winning seasons to insulate him. Mullen had a New Year’s Six bowl win and another the following season to help Florida fans talk themselves into the absurd notion that he was such a genius that he could outcoach Smart or Alabama’s Nick Saban — who by most objective measures are coaching geniuses — in spite of a talent gap that would grow bigger every year once his predecessor’s recruits filtered out of the program. All Harsin had was a near-miss in the Iron Bowl. Yes, Auburn almost beat Alabama in Jordan-Hare Stadium in November. But what would happen in two years after two more Auburn classes like this one and two more top-five classes for Alabama?

That is likely the realization the power brokers at Auburn came to as Harsin embarked on a vacation with no offensive coordinator on staff — because his hand-picked one quit after six weeks — and no players signing with the Tigers in the late signing period. They had watched Harsin soft-pedal the single most important facet of the job either because he didn’t understand how critical it was to success in the SEC or because he thought he was smarter than some of the best coaches in the country (who also happen to have better players than him because they understand how all this works). When Saban, Smart and Clemson’s Dabo Swinney were darting through various high schools in the past month to forge relationships that could help land recruits in 2023 and beyond, Harsin wasn’t matching their pace. That was a huge tell.

One of the main reasons all of this is happening now is because Harsin declared who he was as a recruiter. I wrote above that the first full-cycle class for a coach is a great way to judge that coach as a recruiter? So let’s look at a few such classes.

In 2001, Saban’s first full-cycle class at LSU predated most reputable recruiting rankings. But it included offensive tackle Andrew Whitworth, defensive end Marcus Spears, receiver Michael Clayton, tailback Joseph Addai, offensive lineman Rudy Niswanger and offensive lineman Ben Wilkerson. The Tigers beat out elite programs that had better recent performances for a foundational group that helped win the 2003 national title.

In 2008, Saban’s first full-cycle class at Alabama included receiver Julio Jones, linebacker Dont’a Hightower, defensive back Mark Barron, linebacker Courtney Upshaw, tailback Mark Ingram, offensive lineman Barrett Jones, defensive lineman Marcell Dareus, defensive lineman Damion Square and DB Robert Lester. That class signed with Saban after a 7-6 season during which the Crimson Tide lost to Louisiana-Monroe. It probably was the greatest recruiting class of all time, and watching Saban put it together helped convince Auburn officials that they needed to fire Tommy Tuberville. (Which they did after the 2008 season.)

In 2006, Urban Meyer’s first full-cycle class at Florida included receiver Percy Harvin (No. 2 overall), quarterback Tim Tebow (No. 21), offensive lineman Carl Johnson (No. 24) and linebacker Brandon Spikes (No. 33). They were among nine top-100 players. They also helped Florida win two national titles.

Meyer’s 2013 class at Ohio State — his first full-cycle class in Columbus — was even more loaded. That group, ranked No. 2 in the nation, produced multiple starters on the 2014 national title team. It also produced six first-round draft picks (Zeke Elliott, Eli Apple, Darron Lee, Joey Bosa, Gareon Conley and Billy Price).

In 2010, Jimbo Fisher was in his first few months on the job as Florida State’s head coach. But he had been running the Seminoles’ recruiting operation since Bobby Bowden hired him as offensive coordinator three years earlier. So it’s fair to call 2010 Fisher’s first full-cycle class. It included four top-100 players. Class members Lamarcus Joyner, Christian Jones, Telvin Smith, Terrence Brooks and Cam Erving were critical pieces of the 2013 national title team.

If we want to judge Fisher by the same standard as the others, then his 2011 class was even better. It featured six top-100 players, ranked No. 2 in the country and included national title team starters Tim Jernigan, James Wilder Jr., Bobby Hart, Nick O’Leary, Rashad Greene, Kelvin Benjamin, Devonta Freeman, Josue Matias, Tre Jackson and Terrance Smith.

In 2010, Gene Chizik’s first full-cycle class at Auburn included three top-100 high school recruits (tailback Michael Dyer, receiver-soon-to-be-turned DB Trovon Reed and defensive lineman Corey Lemonier). It also included a junior college transfer QB named Cam Newton. Newton led the Tigers to a national title that season, and while Dyer’s career fell apart afterward, he helped the Tigers win that title. The others were productive players. You may recall some significant discussion about how Auburn landed Newton, but in this new era of name, image and likeness deals, it’s important to remember that all that really matters is Auburn got him. The question now is how Auburn gets more players like him.

In 2017, Smart’s first full-cycle class at Georgia included seven top-100 players. Three members of the class (offensive linemen Andrew Thomasand Isaiah Wilson and cornerback Eric Stokes) have been first-round draft picks. Most of the class contributed to multiple SEC East titles and helped lay the foundation for the 2021 national title team.

Why is that list so damning for Harsin? He has to coach against three of those people every year. He isn’t going to out-grit all of them. They have better players, and they’re going to keep signing better players. New LSU coach Brian Kelly and new Florida coach Billy Napier also are threats to out-recruit Auburn. The only reason I didn’t include them on the list is that the others have won national titles.

Auburn shouldn’t resign itself to being a recruiting also-ran, though. Auburn never has been a consistent top-five recruiting program like Alabama and Georgia are right now, but the Tigers aren’t so far away that they couldn’t make that leap. Six of Malzahn’s eight classes were ranked in the top 10 in the nation. The other two finished No. 11 and No. 12. Those numbers compare favorably to the numbers at Texas A&M under Kevin Sumlin. Like Auburn, Texas A&M is an agricultural school in a talent-rich area (an easy 100-minute drive from a huge metro area that produces a plethora of elite players annually) with a massive, passionate fan base and a history of not being entirely aligned. And once Fisher took over in College Station, the Aggies started recruiting like Alabama and Georgia.

Fisher’s hiring and what has happened since owe some to the Aggies being more aligned — from chancellor John Sharp down through the athletic department — than ever before. As difficult as that may seem given Auburn’s recent history, finding such alignment and hiring the correct coach could produce a similar recruiting leap. And unlike Texas A&M, Auburn has proven it can reach the peak of college football. The Tigers played for the national title in 2013. They won it in 2010. They went undefeated in 2004 and 1993. None of this is particularly ancient history. This is a program that has the tools it needs to win big in the modern era.

But it can’t do that with a coach who doesn’t believe he needs to recruit as well as Saban or Smart.

Everything else is about lowering or eliminating Harsin’s buyout. The bottom line is that he has demonstrated he doesn’t understand one of the most basic requirements of his job, and that has created a massive case of buyer’s remorse.

 

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

1 hour ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

In 2008, Saban’s first full-cycle class at Alabama included receiver Julio Jones, linebacker Dont’a Hightower, defensive back Mark Barron, linebacker Courtney Upshaw, tailback Mark Ingram, offensive lineman Barrett Jones, defensive lineman Marcell Dareus, defensive lineman Damion Square and DB Robert Lester. That class signed with Saban after a 7-6 season during which the Crimson Tide lost to Louisiana-Monroe. It probably was the greatest recruiting class of all time, and watching Saban put it together helped convince Auburn officials that they needed to fire Tommy Tuberville. (Which they did after the 2008 season.)

This sums up Auburn football. Little Brother Syndrome. 

[WhatTheBuck 28,777]

15 hours ago, Rimbo said:

You can't put a price on ass, but Harsin's sure trying to.

Fifty bucks, same as in town.

[Alien Octopus 516]

3 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

Lol. You don’t cheat on your wife because you respect her. Harsin gets away with it because he has kids in their teens, he makes all the money thereby has all the social status and she has no identity of her own or worthwhile  skills that can give her any autonomy. 

We call that a “ Cage of Gold”

Harsin’s wife best course of action is to go make Coach a sandwich.

Damn that is some ruthless shit right there. True, and savage.

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

19 minutes ago, Alien Octopus said:

Damn that is some ruthless shit right there. True, and savage.

 

Is a cold, dark, lonely World

[Crapinon 2,257]

3 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

Lol. You don’t cheat on your wife because you respect her. Harsin gets away with it because he has kids in their teens, he makes all the money thereby has all the social status and she has no identity of her own or worthwhile  skills that can give her any autonomy. 

We call that a “ Cage of Gold”

Harsin’s wife best course of action is to go make Coach a sandwich.

I've known women who really didn't care if there husbands cheated or not. They would get mad but never do anything about it. A friend of mines daughter once told him that she didn't care who her husband was screwing as long as he came home to her. Other women don't care, they just don't want to be embarrassed by the exposure. I guess like you said they like the $$$ and prestige.  Or maybe they like to make sandwiches.

 

Edited February 7, 2022 by Crapinon

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

16 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

I've known women who really didn't care if there husbands cheated or not. They would get mad but never do anything about it. A friend of mines daughter once told him that she didn't care who her husband was screwing as long as he came home to her. Other women don't care, they just don't want to be embarrassed by the exposure. I guess like you said they like the $$$ and prestige.  Or maybe they like to make sandwiches.

 

[Parliament 14,257]

19 minutes ago, Crapinon said:

I've known women who really didn't care if there husbands cheated or not. They would get mad but never do anything about it.

 

Those women are getting their own on the side too.

[Dennis Taylor 18,814]

4 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

Lol. You don’t cheat on your wife because you respect her. Harsin gets away with it because he has kids in their teens, he makes all the money thereby has all the social status and she has no identity of her own or worthwhile  skills that can give her any autonomy. 

We call that a “ Cage of Gold”

Harsin’s wife best course of action is to go make Coach a sandwich.

Or she could take up tennis lessons. Candi F knows a guy

[nnm 36,378]

2 hours ago, Francisco 2.0 said:

In 2008, Saban’s first full-cycle class at Alabama included receiver Julio Jones, linebacker Dont’a Hightower, defensive back Mark Barron, linebacker Courtney Upshaw, tailback Mark Ingram, offensive lineman Barrett Jones, defensive lineman Marcell Dareus, defensive lineman Damion Square and DB Robert Lester. That class signed with Saban after a 7-6 season during which the Crimson Tide lost to Louisiana-Monroe. It probably was the greatest recruiting class of all time, and watching Saban put it together helped convince Auburn officials that they needed to fire Tommy Tuberville. (Which they did after the 2008 season.)

  Hide contents

 

 

Unpossible.  Author obviously BOMC.  Stoopid sips, dontcha know aggy has best crootin' class evah?  They's puttin' it on the wall and in the hall of champeens, damnit!

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

7 minutes ago, Parliament said:

Those women are getting their own on the side too.

Not really man. I gotta say, because of friends and business Ive heard all the bullshit up to my eyeballs.

I’ve noticed that marrying into money with nothing of your own is one of the worst things a girl can do if you don’t like saying “yes, sir”

[Nivek 16,923]

18 hours ago, Parliament said:

I've never cheated on my wife with a dime half my age, so help me understand what happens after he's fired.  Does he go to a hotel and wait for divorce papers?  Call her sister and ask her to help mediate a reconciliation?  And in what scenarios does he end up staying together with the mistress?

Seems to me like a year from now, the only person who MIGHT be happy is Harsin's soon to be ex.  

Now, I am getting older and maybe I don't understand the lingo, but to me a dime would be representing a 10 in attempt (1-10 scale) even though it is is more fitting to represent a 1 (10% of 10).  So which is it?

 

[Atticus 3,973]

9 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

Not really man. I gotta say, because of friends and business Ive heard all the bullshit up to my eyeballs.

I’ve noticed that marrying into money with nothing of your own is one of the worst things a girl can do if you don’t like saying “yes, sir”

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women.

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

5 minutes ago, Nivek said:

Now, I am getting older and maybe I don't understand the lingo, but to me a dime would be representing a 10 in attempt (1-10 scale) even though it is is more fitting to represent a 1 (10% of 10).  So which is it?

 

Pretty sure it’s the ‘Dat bitch fine’ definition 

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

6 minutes ago, Atticus said:

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women.

Caveat: women are like street cars, there’s been one before and there’ll be one after…

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

7 minutes ago, Atticus said:

First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women.

[hookemATL 11,724]

42 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

"look at the pelican...fly pelican fly!"

[Ghost of Stevie Ray 1,584]

1 hour ago, Parliament said:

Those women are getting their own on the side too.

 

[TreatyOak 16,313]

[South Austin 52,484]

10 minutes ago, Ghost of Stevie Ray said:

 

[Ghost of Stevie Ray 1,584]

7 minutes ago, South Austin said:

[Hmbre97 6,308]

[HtownHorn 14,678]

9 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

No argument. He’s a closer.

Nah, he's a developer.

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

3 minutes ago, HtownHorn said:

Nah, he's a developer.

haters gonna hate but you gotta give it where its due

 

[Laxtonto 12,080]

And the sad part in all of this is that Hugh Freeze is probably going to end up with the Auburn job once this shit show is all said and done.. .

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

39 minutes ago, Laxtonto said:

And the sad part in all of this is that Hugh Freeze is probably going to end up with the Auburn job once this shit show is all said and done.. .

If by "sad" you mean "hilarious", I agree.

[closetohumping 17,440]

6 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

Not really man. I gotta say, because of friends and business Ive heard all the bullshit up to my eyeballs.

I’ve noticed that marrying into money with nothing of your own is one of the worst things a girl can do if you don’t like saying “yes, sir”

But they could get half?

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

8 minutes ago, closetohumping said:

But they could get half?

My friend, somebody’s got a case of the ‘suppostas’. 
 

Harsins wife has got a lot of hearsay and photos on the Internet, while at the same time being married to what turns out to be a manipulative sociopath. It takes an incredible amount of strength, support and most importantly your own money to wage war and claw out what is rightfully yours. Where is her private eye photographs, her phone records, her texts, her emails, all of her, you know, proof that could be presented in a civil court to provide that her husband violated his contract?
 

Could she have taken half if she had the wherewithal, resources, foresight, support and initiative to document all of her husband transgressions? Sure. But she was hanging out in the living room with a glass of Cabernet instead. 
 

Now, about that sandwich…

[Dennis Taylor 18,814]

1 hour ago, Laxtonto said:

And the sad part in all of this is that Hugh Freeze is probably going to end up with the Auburn job once this shit show is all said and done.. .

If I'm Freeze, I only take the job if the girl stays. Deal-breaker 

[Pescado_Rojo 19,416]

8 minutes ago, Doc Reeves said:

My friend, somebody’s got a case of the ‘suppostas’. 
 

Harsins wife has got a lot of hearsay and photos on the Internet, while at the same time being married to what turns out to be a manipulative sociopath. It takes an incredible amount of strength, support and most importantly your own money to wage war and claw out what is rightfully yours. Where is her private eye photographs, her phone records, her texts, her emails, all of her, you know, proof that could be presented in a civil court to provide that her husband violated his contract?
 

Could she have taken half if she had the wherewithal, resources, foresight, support and initiative to document all of her husband transgressions? Sure. But she was hanging out in the living room with a glass of Cabernet instead. 
 

Now, about that sandwich…

Aren't they LDS? Maybe they were just auditioning her for an open wife slot? 

[Rimbo 25,921]

thread needs more pictures of side chick and wife

[Go Pokes 979]

A kid named Sledge chose Auburn over OSU on NSD in December and I made a crack about OSU getting him through the portal in two years when Auburn fires Harsin.  An Auburn fan told me "Auburn isn't firing Harsin in two years doofus". 

And now I wait.   

[Blotto 23,498]

2 hours ago, Laxtonto said:

And the sad part in all of this is that Hugh Freeze is probably going to end up with the Auburn job once this shit show is all said and done.. .

 

30 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

If I'm Freeze, I only take the job if the girl stays. Deal-breaker 

[chitown bevo 17]

Auburn is a dumpster fire. Is Harsin playing rumpy pumpy with the assistant ? probably but the more I read I have to think Auburn is looking for an excuse to fire him and get out of paying. Harsin was successful and will likely end up at a mid major and do just fine again. Auburn, not so sure, at this point with all the firings and interference from boosters and others they have created a situation that will take years to repair.

[Parliament 14,257]

37 minutes ago, Dennis Taylor said:

If I'm Freeze, I only take the job if the girl stays. Deal-breaker 

When you're the head fuhbawh corch at Auburn, there are plenty of 10's throwing themselves at you.  Don't get fixated on any one in particular.

[Dennis Taylor 18,814]

12 minutes ago, Blotto said:

 

This is begging for @RamjetFDO to add the sidepiece , maybe in a nurse's outfit...???

[Cairn Horn88 8,262]

Why all the interest in Harsin?  I don't get it....other than being a dumpster fire.

[ClubWhatever 12,137]

4 minutes ago, Cairn Horn88 said:

Why all the interest in Harsin?  I don't get it....other than being a dumpster fire.

It’s got all the elements of drama.  Sex, love, betrayal, inbreeding. 

[Doc Reeves 6,434]

10 minutes ago, Cairn Horn88 said:

Why all the interest in Harsin?  I don't get it....other than being a dumpster fire.

 

There but for the grace of God go we…

[Hornius Emeritus 12,460]

12 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

 

Lol. You don’t cheat on your wife because you respect her. Harsin gets away with it because he has kids in their teens, he makes all the money thereby has all the social status and she has no identity of her own or worthwhile  skills that can give her any autonomy. 

We call that a “ Cage of Gold”

 

City girls just seem to find out early, how to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man, and she won't have to worry ...


 

[Doctor of Neighborhood 429]

1 hour ago, Pescado_Rojo said:

Aren't they LDS? Maybe they were just auditioning her for an open wife slot? 

Maybe we can all calm down.  Maybe they were just “soaking.”  In which case, nothing happened and it doesn’t count.  No harm, no foul.  He’s a coach and they’re just sorta practicing.  Thursday afternoon walk-through.

I’m sure the lingerie was for something else.  Comfort, if I had to guess.

[Horn Draoi 255]

“Manipulative sociopath?”  Doesn’t that describe every head football coach?  Sure applies to every head coach I played for in junior high and high school and every coach I’ve watched closely since.  Goes with the territory, I reckon..

[Nicole44 22,059]

1 hour ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

City girls just seem to find out early, how to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man, and she won't have to worry ...


 

Mainly I just fling my skivvies at people or threaten to post pics of myself…seems to work. Lol. If Harsin had gone for two vs Bama he’d have been fine? 

[Junior Miller 1,502]

9 hours ago, closetohumping said:

But they could get half?

Maybe not half but depends on how long they're together and how many kids. If the woman plays along and pops out 2 to 3 kids and stays for 20 years then documents his cheating and files she's getting a shitload most likely. Especially if she was a house wife with no income of her own and no reasonable ability to make much. 

[South Austin 52,484]

11 hours ago, Hornius Emeritus said:

City girls just seem to find out early, how to open doors with just a smile
A rich old man, and she won't have to worry ...

Took me a while. One of Glen Frey’s best.

[Kennythetiger 9,380]

[Davis Lane 5,583]

13 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

My friend, somebody’s got a case of the ‘suppostas’. 
 

Harsins wife has got a lot of hearsay and photos on the Internet, while at the same time being married to what turns out to be a manipulative sociopath. It takes an incredible amount of strength, support and most importantly your own money to wage war and claw out what is rightfully yours. Where is her private eye photographs, her phone records, her texts, her emails, all of her, you know, proof that could be presented in a civil court to provide that her husband violated his contract?
 

Could she have taken half if she had the wherewithal, resources, foresight, support and initiative to document all of her husband transgressions? Sure. But she was hanging out in the living room with a glass of Cabernet instead. 
 

Now, about that sandwich…