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[Game Thread] Ragin Cajuns at Longhorns - We're gonna fuck people up

immamac

By immamac
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immamac

immamac 42,857

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Surliest of assholes, today is the day we have been waiting for since December 30th of 2020.

Lets start with the weather forecast today, then talk about what to expect from our first game of the year. 

20210903_235521.jpg.ee2a648b9ec46b15bb52027322cfdea4.thumb.jpg.cf4db40c39d539b7b204a1b0a8c725ee.jpg

As you can clearly see its going to be hot as fuck. Field temps around kickoff are expected to be over 100 degrees. 

What's this though, the major prediction is there is major gorilla boofing expected? What is gorilla boofing you may find yourself asking. 

Gorilla Boofing (ɡəˈrilə buu'fing) verb - getting violently butt fucked by a gorilla or in the style of a gorilla. 

Example: The Texas Longhorns are Gorilla Boofing the Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns today. 

Well shit, if the weather channel thinks there is major gorilla boofing expected, who am I to argue with them? 

Lets get into the pre-game breakdown. Billy Napier is a really nice guy who is taking his time making sure the ragin Cajuns are a perrenial winner of the most powerful conference in football. The sunbelt conference. They are stacked with 2.5 star talent, have excellent discipline, and their names will mean literally nothing to you when you hear them. Returning a bunch of starters or something.

Then we have the Texas Longhorns football team. There's a new coach in town, Steve Sarkisian. He's come into town and immediately let us know that his brain engine has a serious defect. It is only capable of All Gas with No Brakes. The Longhorns are playing their last season in the absolute joke of a conference the Big XII and return a roster that makes my special parts move. Filled with Household names like Bijan Robinson, Cade Brewer (A Burnt End) and Demarvion Overshown. Expect to see an aggressive and relentless attack led by the defense, followed up by the offense making quick strikes on explosive plays. 

Crack open a cold beer, pour yourself a nice wine spritzer or enjoy your beverage of choice starting now, because we are in for a glorious day of Texas Longhorns football. 

Hook 'Em

P.S. For less than 2 cups of Starbucks coffee a month you can support the Burnt Ends. Find more information here. 

https://www.surlyhorns.com/board/index.php?/burnt-ends-nil-program/ 

 

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Bigbend1812
Bigbend1812

1-0.    That’s how you do it Tom, you fucking cunt.

immamac
immamac

Surliest of assholes, today is the day we have been waiting for since December 30th of 2020. Lets start with the weather forecast today, then talk about what to expect from our first game of the

touchthemonolith
touchthemonolith

WE WON BY MORE THAN ONE POSSESSION AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS

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