2021 Houston Texans Ain't Shit Season Thread

[The Earl of Texas 3131]

We were second to last in pass yards per game surrendered and third to last on yards per pass attempt surrendered. CB was a good pick. Would’ve preferred Sauce but I think Stingley is very good and better built. Only question is if he stays healthy (which is a bad gamble at pick 3).

We were dead last in rush yards per attempt last year. Taking a mauler at guard was a good choice, especially in light of it netting us a fourth in two fifths to take the guy we probably would’ve taken anyway. Also improved pass pro.

Would’ve preferred Jordan Davis because fucking people up like he does up front on D has a crazy impact on the whole game, but I don’t think we necessarily failed either pick.

[Ignatius 4000]

Some good prospects at positions of need available at 37. Pitre from Baylor at S, Dean at LB, two pass rushers (three if you’re willing to draft Ojabo and wait a year, which we should be good with), the two small-school WR and Walker/Hall at RB…

[TonyTexas 10481]

FWIW  Zierlein has the Texans taking Breece Hall at #37 in his day 3 mock. Can he go 3/3?  He had both Stingley and Green to the Texans in his 1st round mock. Which is pretty amazing. 

Edited April 29, 2022 by TonyTexas

[The Earl of Texas 3131]

25 minutes ago, TonyTexas said:

FWIW  Zierlein has the Texans taking Breece Hall at #37 in his day 3 mock. Can he go 3/3?  He had both Stingley and Green to the Texans in his 1st round mock. Which is pretty amazing. 

He’s a Houston legacy who’s extremely tied into the league and plugged into the Texans and several other teams directly.

He is given info direct from teams in exchange for being a media outlet when they need one to get stories out etc.

All this really tells you is who they want. Whether they are there on the board when it’s time to pick is the only variable.

[Monty Capuletti 107]

28 minutes ago, TonyTexas said:

FWIW  Zierlein has the Texans taking Breece Hall at #37 in his day 3 mock. Can he go 3/3?  He had both Stingley and Green to the Texans in his 1st round mock. Which is pretty amazing. 

He also has the Texans taking Nik Bonitto (FCB) and Alontae Taylor (CB - Tennessee) in the third.

[Rockethorn1978 6061]

The jets draft so far would give me the hardest Boner ever if it was the Texans. 

[Rip76 4912]

Damnit.

[Macklemore 2871]

Damn damn it Breece Hall picked just in front of us!! This is why we are amateur hour when it comes personnel. Feels like Philly jumping ahead of us to draft the OT we wanted and settled and reached for Tytus.

Edited April 29, 2022 by Macklemore

[TonyTexas 10481]

Jets take Hall at 34

[Macklemore 2871]

Ok Jalen Pitre is a good pick. He can play.

[Rip76 4912]

Maybe trade up here for a RB?

[Macklemore 2871]

Pitre was the 2nd best player on a very good Baylor defense. Our secondary is going to have some talent finally 

[Tex-19 2869]

Did anyone see Mel’s “team needs” for the Texans? It was basically every position lol

Also, drafting for fans continues? LSU, A&M, Baylor first 3.

[Macklemore 2871]

Pitre was defensive player of the year for the XII. My favorite pick so far.

[Rockethorn1978 6061]

Wow we just got the first nfl draft double rape picks!

baylor then pedo st 

[Ignatius 4000]

Pitre is solid, our secondary suddenly just got a lot better....

[Murfdogg21 4412]

Baylor safety feels like Keke Coutee, where he will be on the roster for three years but never do shit. 

[Ignatius 4000]

lol for real man what's your basis for comparison between Coutee and Pitre?

[Macklemore 2871]

13 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

Baylor safety feels like Keke Coutee, where he will be on the roster for three years but never do shit. 

That makes zero sense. Please explain yourself.

[LTtxfan 48952]

Texans trade up to #44

[billfromlaketravis 11357]

Ok. Ok. I like that pick. Metchie is a boss. 

[Macklemore 2871]

John Metchie. Very nice!

[Murfdogg21 4412]

4 minutes ago, Ignatius said:

lol for real man what's your basis for comparison between Coutee and Pitre?

A local player that nobody outside of the Big12 has ever heard of or gives a shit about.  As Icono said, “second best player on Baylor’s defense!” Hell yeah sounds ready to pwn some people in the NFL! Most mock drafts had him in the third round, but we take him at 37 rather than spend a 5th to move up for Breece Hall or the NDSU WR. Or take the Pedo St. DE. Or settle for Ken Walker III. 

 

We are going to end up with Rex Burkhead and some 7th round SW Carolina St. fullback as our RBs next season. 

[Ignatius 4000]

2 minutes ago, Murfdogg21 said:

A local player that nobody outside of the Big12 has ever heard of or gives a shit about.  As Icono said, “second best player on Baylor’s defense!” Hell yeah sounds ready to pwn some people in the NFL! Most mock drafts had him in the third round, but we take him at 37 rather than spend a 5th to move up for Breece Hall or the NDSU WR. Or take the Pedo St. DE. Or settle for Ken Walker III. 

 

We are going to end up with Rex Burkhead and some 7th round SW Carolina St. fullback as our RBs next season. 

lol dude...

[Macklemore 2871]

Not saying Keke Coutee would have been a Pro Bowler for us, but his development was severely impacted by BOB’s stupidity and anger. He was in BOB’s doghouse constantly despite the fact other pets of Easterfuck or BOB played worse and didn’t affect their playing time. BOB undermined his entire stay and never put him in space like he is meant to be used.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Macklemore

[HtownHorn 14468]

Texans traded some draft capital to move ahead of Baltimore for Metchie.

Edited April 30, 2022 by HtownHorn

[Ignatius 4000]

So as things sit now, 2 3rd rounders, 1 4th rounder, 3 in the 5th, 2 in the 6th..

[LTtxfan 48952]

8 minutes ago, LTtxfan said:

Texans trade up to #44

Give up #68, #108, #124 for the #44 pick

[Macklemore 2871]

Just now, LTtxfan said:

Give up #68, #108, #124 for the #44 pick

Good it’s time we paid Baltimore back because they’ve made routinely made us their bitch in jumping ahead of us to get players we both wanted 

[HtownHorn 14468]

3 minutes ago, Ignatius said:

So as things sit now, 2 3rd rounders, 1 4th rounder, 3 in the 5th, 2 in the 6th..

1 3rd (80), 1 4th (107), 3 5th (162, 166, 170), 2 6th (205, 207).

[Murfdogg21 4412]

8 minutes ago, Macklemore said:

Not saying Keke Coutee would have been a Pro Bowler for us, but his development was severely impacted by BOB’s stupidity and anger. He was in BOB’s doghouse constantly despite the fact other pets of Easterfuck or BOB played worse and didn’t affect their playing time. BOB undermined his entire stay and never put him in space like he is meant to be used.

Sold. BOB is gone so let’s get Coutee’s ass back here! The aggy fullback can be the third down back when Rex Burkhead has go back to the sideline for Rogaine. 

[Macklemore 2871]

I'm happy we are not drafting reaches from shit schools like Tytus Howard, Max Scharping and Kahale Warring

[Hate 20103]

So as things sit now, 2 3rd rounders, 1 4th rounder, 3 in the 5th, 2 in the 6th..

I’d like to see them try to trade up again if there is a DE they really like still in the board.

[Rip76 4912]

10 minutes ago, Hate said:

I’d like to see them try to trade up again if there is a DE they really like still in the board.

So basically we need a DE and a RB.

[Macklemore 2871]

Metchie is going to quickly become a fan favorite for a team bereft of recognizable players and stars. Love this pick.

[Ignatius 4000]

I can’t believe Nakove Dean is still out there…

[tx ind 6997]

1 minute ago, Ignatius said:

I can’t believe Nakove Dean is still out there…

 

[Ignatius 4000]

1 minute ago, tx ind said:

 

Ah well there you go.

Just moved up! Is this Willis?

[The Earl of Texas 3131]

 

[Macklemore 2871]

 TEXANS TRADE #75. Christian Harris 

[Ignatius 4000]

Alright, more D

[tx ind 6997]

Maybe Caserio knows what he’s doing?

[Ignatius 4000]

So looks like we have a 4th, 2 5ths, and a 6th left. Think the edge rusher and RB are gonna have to wait until next year, but we filled some holes today…

Edited April 30, 2022 by Ignatius

[Hate 20103]

I’m ok with them getting faster and more athletic at any position. I’m also ok with them picking players from Alabama.

Anyone know their pick status now after these trades? I still wouldn’t mind seeing them get the next best DE on the board.

[Eskimohorn 5610]

[Harrison Stafford 3325]

5 minutes ago, tx ind said:

Maybe Caserio knows what he’s doing?

This is his first real draft and I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt.  Last year, Caserio’s first pick was in the third round and that looks like a pretty solid take.

Edited April 30, 2022 by Harrison Stafford

[LTtxfan 48952]

6 minutes ago, Macklemore said:

 TEXANS TRADE #75. Christian Harris 

Gave up #80 and #162 to get #75 pick

[tx ind 6997]

Last pick’s name def checks out for Cal and easterbunny 

[Eskimohorn 5610]

Texans Draft Grade

CB Derek Stingley Jr - LSU | C+
Texans coach Lovie Smith made it clear that he didn’t think his defense could play the way he wanted them to without improved play at cornerback. But did they take Stingley Jr too soon? Can he recover from his foot injury? And what is his relationship with Jesus Christ?

OG Kenyon Green - Texas A&M | A
The Texans knew they needed to upgrade their protection of quarterback Davis Mills, and they did that with their second pick of the first round. And he’s blessed with great versatility and faith in Jesus Christ. He also thanked God on draft day.

S Jalen Pitre - Baylor | A
Caserio is improving the Texans’ secondary, adding his second DB in Pitre. Pitre was a key player at Baylor, covering a lot of ground on the field and in Chapel. He signaled on his social media that he’s “God’s Son”.

WR John Metxhie IiI - Bama | A
The Texans took the first step in helping Mills this offseason with Cooks' extension, and now they give the second-year quarterback another weapon by trading up to draft a wide receiver. Another player recovering from injury. Not worrying about rehab or conditioning because he has faith in “God’s plan” to tear his ligament and he’ll just “roll with it.”

LB Christian Harris - Bama | A+
Looking no further than the first name filter on his Excel speadsheet, Caeserio pulled the trigger on another SEC standout. Also having faith “God’s plan”, Harris intends to fulfill God’s will by ripping the arms off of quarterbacks. Man, God must of really hated David Carr.

[MadBurgerMaker 403]

*have