Toastmasters

[Celery Man 21,097]

We moved across the country (to NC) last year, from Austin to a smaller town/burb, and started a family. One of the things I'm trying to figure out as the baby is gettingt easier to handle and it starts hopefully getting a bit easier to go out and about are ways to meet people and join "the community". My dad has done Rotary for a trillion years, but it seems like that might mostly be old fucks. I'm sure I'll eventually start playing music with people when I find them, and I'm sure we'll organically meet people as we start doing more kid things, but one thing I'm considering is checking out the local Toastmasters club. I've never done anything like that before and it's probably at least moderately painful, but upping my "communicate well in front of people on the spot" skills has consistently been an important part of my professional development. If I can do that and start to get to know some people more locally, that would seem like a smart thing to do.

I assume we have some surly people who have done this stuff - any takeaways? Worthwhile? Full of weirdos who want to sell you whole life?

[fattyflattie 4,640]

I only know a few people who’ve done it, and all but one were first generation, educated, immigrants. It helped all of them a lot, as they tell it.  The only one that wasn’t was a very charismatic guy who just enjoyed it, and was trying to add it to his list for career development. 

[DonkeyCigars 143]

21 hours ago, Celery Man said:

We moved across the country (to NC) last year, from Austin to a smaller town/burb, and started a family. One of the things I'm trying to figure out as the baby is gettingt easier to handle and it starts hopefully getting a bit easier to go out and about are ways to meet people and join "the community". My dad has done Rotary for a trillion years, but it seems like that might mostly be old fucks. I'm sure I'll eventually start playing music with people when I find them, and I'm sure we'll organically meet people as we start doing more kid things, but one thing I'm considering is checking out the local Toastmasters club. I've never done anything like that before and it's probably at least moderately painful, but upping my "communicate well in front of people on the spot" skills has consistently been an important part of my professional development. If I can do that and start to get to know some people more locally, that would seem like a smart thing to do.

I assume we have some surly people who have done this stuff - any takeaways? Worthwhile? Full of weirdos who want to sell you whole life?

I've done Toastmasters twice; once in my youth to get better at presentation and speaking skills as a way to grow/qualify into bigger professional roles and then again recently via the multinational global org I work for who has a Toastmasters chapter.

Takeaways: Toastmasters is a lot of work and effort if you do it right. The primary driver is enhancing a skill and a craft so, like your music skills, you'll find you will spend a lot of hours into the work and practice and such. The social/community/getting to know one another is like a secondary or tertiary benefit, at best. If you aren't sufficiently and intrinsically motivated to become a great public speaker (do you dream of giving a NorthCarolinaxTED talk?) then you are probably better served doing something else because I doubt you'd stick with it. The time commitment to benefit just wouldn't make quantifiable sense.

[Jerry Callo 8,959]

Rotary is a great way to join a community.  Ages range from 20 to 90+.  Every club is different and many communities have multiple clubs.  If you want to meet the movers and shakers in any given community, the local Rotary club is usually the best place.

[Guest Lobo]

Yeah, I'm a fourth generation believer in Rotary.  I don't know anything about Toastmasters.  But I'd drop by the local Rotary if I were you.  Maybe a few times since young members seem to move in and out with work travel.  If it seems like the same old, static crew after 2 or 3 lunches, move on.  Not sure where you are in NC, but my grandfather was a longtime rotarian in Asheville/Hendersonville area for almost 20 years.

[Jerry Callo 8,959]

47 minutes ago, Jerry Callo said:

Rotary is a great way to join a community.  Ages range from 20 to 90+.  Every club is different and many communities have multiple clubs.  If you want to meet the movers and shakers in any given community, the local Rotary club is usually the best place.

I was 31 when I joined Rotary.  Coincidentally, I met a local Rotarian while doing Toastmasters and he submitted my name for membership in the a local Rotary club.  Toastmasters is good for what it does, but Rotary is a better way to engage in the community.

[Celery Man 21,097]

Maybe I'll give the Rotary club a fair shake before I decide I'm not that much of an old fuck yet. My dad and stepmom are both past presidents and I did interact in high school (though I wasn't super involved). It could also be that I'm just too strongly associating it with my dad ("i'm not my dad's age yet") and not having gone to a Rotary meeting since I was a teenager and people in their thirties seemed like old fucks. Not trying to get specifically political at all - I would assume membership in Rotary would vary a bit but heavily trend conservative, but I also believe they keep it very apolitical? Has that been y'all's experience? I guess this is turning into a Rotary thread and I should really just call my dad and ask him things, but can you just pop by a meeting or do you need to reach out to someone? I'm in Wake Forest, was really lobbying for Asheville (such a beautiful area) but there just aren't the jobs.

It's not a dream of mine to be a great public speaker, but it's very typical in my job (technical product management) to be presenting or speaking to customers, other teams, executive leadership, etc. New company is quite a bit smaller than my enormous old company and I still have a lot of first impressions to make, which is what makes me think it's a good time to proactively work on seeming polished/sharp/effective when communicating in that context. Do you guys think Toastmasters is suited for that, or would I be better off taking a different path for that purpose?

[DonkeyCigars 143]

30 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

It's not a dream of mine to be a great public speaker, but it's very typical in my job (technical product management) to be presenting or speaking to customers, other teams, executive leadership, etc. New company is quite a bit smaller than my enormous old company and I still have a lot of first impressions to make, which is what makes me think it's a good time to proactively work on seeming polished/sharp/effective when communicating in that context. Do you guys think Toastmasters is suited for that, or would I be better off taking a different path for that purpose?

Nah, there are dozens of other 8 week courses or cohorts or programs that are more focused on and around what you are describing in your speaking goals. Toastmasters is a completely different animal (in my opinion and experiences), but I'm just one data point.

And that is just from the speaking skill perspective, if you are interested in getting connected into a community or make friends/peers/network, like I thought was your main objective, sounds like the rotary club (first time I'm ever hearing of this club, I'll have to check this out myself) is the better bet.

You are in tech and support a specific technology stack it sounds like from your role-- why not hone in on the social stuff around that? Let's pretend you are a MSFT Product guy, why not go to the "Wake Forest MSFT Product Meet Up at the Wake Forest Bar and Grill" or whatever. They usually do these things monthly.

Edited September 13, 2021 by DonkeyCigars

[Celery Man 21,097]

Yeah, it's really that i have a bunch of goals/things going on simultaneously

1) just moved to a new place far away from family as well as a collection of friends that grew organically over 35 years of living in Texas

2) just started a new job, which = opportunity as people decide who I am and what I'm about

3) just started a family

Moving from Austin proper to a suburb of a smaller city is also part of the deal, as well as some self redefinition. Finally fully coming to grips with not being a musician or a Silicon Valley character, but a married father living in a quiet suburb with the kids and the bicycles and the neighbors, etc

Main goal is making friends/becoming connected to the community, when poking around there a thing I came across was Toastmasters which piqued my curiosity as maybe it would be a smart thing to do on the professional development front as well. Sounds like I should go back to my first instinct which was Rotary. Rotary is similar to Kiwanis - I think weekly lunch meetings where people give talks, community service events are organized, foreign exchange students are sponsored, etc etc and of course you get to know the other well respected men about town doing the best things.

I should also figure out about the more specific industry type social stuff - that would be worthwhile although I imagine the interesting stuff there is in Raleigh and Durham.

[DonkeyCigars 143]

14 minutes ago, Celery Man said:

Yeah, it's really that i have a bunch of goals/things going on simultaneously

1) just moved to a new place far away from family as well as a collection of friends that grew organically over 35 years of living in Texas

2) just started a new job, which = opportunity as people decide who I am and what I'm about

3) just started a family

Moving from Austin proper to a suburb of a smaller city is also part of the deal, as well as some self redefinition. Finally fully coming to grips with not being a musician or a Silicon Valley character, but a married father living in a quiet suburb with the kids and the bicycles and the neighbors, etc

Main goal is making friends/becoming connected to the community, when poking around there a thing I came across was Toastmasters which piqued my curiosity as maybe it would be a smart thing to do on the professional development front as well. Sounds like I should go back to my first instinct which was Rotary. Rotary is similar to Kiwanis - I think weekly lunch meetings where people give talks, community service events are organized, foreign exchange students are sponsored, etc etc and of course you get to know the other well respected men about town doing the best things.

I should also figure out about the more specific industry type social stuff - that would be worthwhile although I imagine the interesting stuff there is in Raleigh and Durham.

I'm scared I might be treading into dangerous waters here so I'll just reframe this as my experience; moving somewhere new and getting plugged in with a neighborhood church unlocked everything you are talking about: neighbors, peers, families of similar types and kids of ages, etc. with social outings (golf, softball, book/bible studies, etc.) Especially in the South and Wake Forest, I think you'll find a one-stop shop there if you are so inclined. Disregard if I offended by being presumptuous.

[Celery Man 21,097]

nah, no reason I see why that would be touchy or presumptuous. That's another thing on the list, hoping we can find one with a reasonably sized community and a moral compass that is aligned with ours

[tx 3 putt 78,676]

my brother did it and his speaking skills improved tremendously 

[Sam Lin 3,597]

Someone mistyped their email so I got added to a Toastmasters email group. That resulted in hundreds of trash emails cluttering my inbox while I Reply All'd "please remove me from this mailing list" to each one. Took over a month to clear up. That's all I got on Toastmasters.

One other way to meet people and be active in local community is Habitat for Humanity.