Changing your mind on a job offer?

[closetohumping 17474]

Like Kush's pop, my word is strong as oak.  But, I verbally accepted a job offer from company A, now company B comes in and says we can beat said offer.  I feel awful changing my mind, but most of my peers have said to "do what's best for you, I left a job three months in after another offer popped up."  These are billion dollar companies that will probably give me the boot the moment I underperform, so why do I feel bad about changing my mind?

[Chewbacca 7787]

I might feel bad if I was hired as a key person at a smaller shop, but at big corporations?  Hell no, do what's best for you and your family.

[blacklab 11952]

Don't feel bad. No one at company A is going to think about ever again 5 minutes after you call or email to turn them down.

[boilerhorn 1399]

Agree w/ @Chewbacca - do what is best for you and your family, especially given you are dealing with 2 large corporations.

Heck, even if you were dealing with a smaller corporation, you should do what is best for you and your family.  The conversation might be a little more painful and personal, but so be it.

Another thing to consider: big companies seldom consider employees' personal situations when making deleterious decisions.  It's "all business" to them and should be for you.

[Celery Man 21001]

It's good that you feel bad about breaking off a verbal agreement but your friends and your instincts are correct. If they at this very moment realized that they wanted to not have you take the role, they would cut you loose and not think twice. 

[Bernard 879]

7 hours ago, boilerhorn said:

 It's "all business" to them and should be for you.

This. You didn’t agree to marry them. All jobs are subject to either party changing their mind at any time. Don’t feel the least but bad for quitting after 5 years, 5 months, 5 days or even -5 days. You didn’t mislead them. You made a decision based on all information available at the time. Now circumstances have changed. All you owe them is honesty.

Bernard

Edited September 29, 2021 by Bernard

[dingleberryswitzer 2724]

Unless they paid you a retainer then you owe them nothing.

 

[Updawg 2286]

Yep. No need to feel obligated to get into a bad spot. They won’t feel the same when your number comes up or you piss off the wrong person or whatever

It’s a free country

[tx 3 putt 77443]

do what's best for you

[PhillyD 1257]

I can't count the number of people who have changed their mind after we offered and they accepted.  I can't remember any of them.  They probably won't remember you either.

[justhookit 4191]

This is when you tell  company A that you got a better offer and they need to match or exceed it otherwise they can get fucked. I probably wouldn’t use those words.

[hornbri 1411]

3 minutes ago, justhookit said:

This is when you tell  company A that you got a better offer and they need to match or exceed it otherwise they can get fucked. I probably wouldn’t use those words.

Yep - do what is best for you and your family. If you prefer company A give them a chance to match. Worse case is they say no.

[Updawg 2286]

Only issue not brought up is if your current place will hold this against you and think you aren’t a team player

[RPM 26355]

That's how I got my current job. Found one that didn't pay the greatest, but it was very convenient so I accepted. The next day I got a much better offer and jumped on it. Still here 5 years later.

[Guest]

16 hours ago, closetohumping said:

Like Kush's pop, my word is strong as oak.  But, I verbally accepted a job offer from company A, now company B comes in and says we can beat said offer.  I feel awful changing my mind, but most of my peers have said to "do what's best for you, I left a job three months in after another offer popped up."  These are billion dollar companies that will probably give me the boot the moment I underperform, so why do I feel bad about changing my mind?

Do what's right for you.

As a prospective employer, I'd MUCH rather you change your mind beforehand.

As a fellow dude/ citizen/ whatever:  it's a fucking job, not a marriage.  It's absolutely OK to change your mind.

[Reagan1k 3024]

2 hours ago, slorch said:

Do what's right for you.

As a prospective employer, I'd MUCH rather you change your mind beforehand.

As a fellow dude/ citizen/ whatever:  it's a fucking job, not a marriage.  It's absolutely OK to change your mind.

So much this - Leave me at the altar.  Don't marry me, knock me up, and then takeoff.

Be upfront and open.  Tell them the situation.  You may be pleasantly surprised.

[horn4life 3783]

I would give the company you accepted the offer, a chance to match the new offer.  IF, and the IF is important you prefer the first company over the second.

Ultimately a large company isn't going to care one way or the other.  They don't worry too much about you well being, they just want to retain you for the lowest price possible.  I understand the idea of your word being your bond, and have great respect for that.   However, when it comes to salary, you take the money.  But like I said, I would give them an opportunity to match, then the ball is in their court.

I would also look very closely at the benefits packages!!!

 

[immamac 43098]

yeah choose which job you want more and just get the other to match or go best and final. This isn't uncommon, especially for good candidates

[Apep 645]

About a decade ago, my wife did the opposite of what everyone suggests. She’s a teacher and her school was being shutdown, so she jumped at the first in-district job she was offered. A day later, an honors magnet school came calling. She did what she thought was best; she stayed true to her word. It was the worst two-year experience of her working life. 

[txhorns 2413]

Call Company A to explain the situation and apologize for the inconvenience.  They will either match the other offer or let you go and wish you well.  If it's an issue with them then you likely are dodging a bullet.

[Bill Clay 48]

It appears we have a Surly consensus. Has this ever happened?

[Bernard 879]

13 hours ago, Updawg said:

Only issue not brought up is if your current place will hold this against you and think you aren’t a team player

My understanding is that CTH does not currently work for either Company A or Company B. These are two new companies making offers. If Company B is his current employer, that changes everything.

Bernard

[hornbri 1411]

5 hours ago, Bernard said:

My understanding is that CTH does not currently work for either Company A or Company B. These are two new companies making offers. If Company B is his current employer, that changes everything.

Bernard

Exactly - in that case I would not stay at B. You had already told them you were leaving and they money whipped you, you would now be their little bitch. 

[Quagmire 2147]

Fuck your bosses wife if she cums stick with the first offer

[closetohumping 17474]

On 9/29/2021 at 10:38 AM, Apep said:

About a decade ago, my wife did the opposite of what everyone suggests. She’s a teacher and her school was being shutdown, so she jumped at the first in-district job she was offered. A day later, an honors magnet school came calling. She did what she thought was best; she stayed true to her word. It was the worst two-year experience of her working life. 

Yep, and I can't afford two bad years.  

[closetohumping 17474]

16 hours ago, hornbri said:

Exactly - in that case I would not stay at B. You had already told them you were leaving and they money whipped you, you would now be their little bitch. 

agreed.  Once you say "I'm leaving" there is no turning back.  If they retain you they'll be looking for your replacemetnt.

[Nice Guy Eddie 13523]

I wouldn't ask Company A to match the offer of Company B. Honesty I would rescind the offer if someone did that to me. Which is cool.

Personally you want to go with Company B so that is what you should do. You owe nothing to Company A. But that doesn't mean there are not potential consequences. It's possible you will run into that hiring mgr again that will recall what you did. But why worry about hypothetical situations.

[closetohumping 17474]

24 minutes ago, Nice Guy Eddie said:

I wouldn't ask Company A to match the offer of Company B. Honesty I would rescind the offer if someone did that to me. Which is cool.

Personally you want to go with Company B so that is what you should do. You owe nothing to Company A. But that doesn't mean there are not potential consequences. It's possible you will run into that hiring mgr again that will recall what you did. But why worry about hypothetical situations.

Yea.  Caveat is tech is a small world.  But again I don’t think I’m screwing company a over