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Gary Patterson is a huge fat sweaty gaping pussy

Beau Vine

By Beau Vine
in Football

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South Austin

South Austin 52,457

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4 minutes ago, ChiTownDoc said:

Bro.  I don’t even make mom jokes about you. Gotta do me like that.  

05A4B575-D348-4333-97A4-E13F14096A1F.gif

Dude, this gif is the Texas fan base walking out of the Cotton Bowl for most of this millennium. And you’re a learned doctor of medicinal things and such. Take 49-0 like a man.

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Blotto

Blotto 23,491

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25 minutes ago, South Austin said:

The guy’s last coaching stop had him wearing Longhorn attire. He deserves the Phatterson thread title.

Im a big fan of the guy. Hell, I'd take him as a swap for Sark right now and wouldnt waste 10 seconds on the decision. But the "gaping pussy" thread title cracks me up and is a solid illustration of what distinguishes this site and its predecessors from the other shitty longhorn boards. Beau poured his heart and soul into that thread title.

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pubes

pubes 139

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I had to figure out how to sign in to this shitty “web site” so I could try and jerk it to some sweaty fat gaping vagina pics and there were exactly none. Her siri google search fat guy in visor and purple shirt 

relentless wanking continues. 

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Born to Run

Born to Run 6,569

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he would have approved 
image.jpeg.f0bb01ef11a32ddfbd4e5eaa640b0d35.jpeg
You just gotta love that one ear is going to the right, so the other ear is also going to the right. Neat deal. That left ear is the hardest working ear in the country. But that right ear works so hard too. Orange slices!!! But left ear is gonna get explosive plays by the bunch. We gotta get more explosives! Try Sally's cookies. Protect the DKR House!
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satyanash

satyanash 14,478

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Baylor football head coach Dave Aranda is set to hire former TCU head coach Gary Patterson as a Senior Level Strategic Consultant, SicEm365 has confirmed through a source.  In this role, Patterson will help Baylor’s staff with break down of upcoming opponents while also self-scouting Baylor’s offense and defense during the season. Patterson was the head coach at TCU for 22 seasons beginning in 2000 after three seasons as a defensive coordinator beginning in 1998. He complied an 181-79 overall record during his time at TCU. 

At the time of his resignation at TCU, Patterson was tied for second nationally among active FBS head coaches in most AP Top-10 finishes with six (2008, 2009, 2010, 2014, 2015, 2017). He's also second among active head coaches in most top-25 finishes with 11. During his time at TCU, since the NCAA began tracking statistics in 1937, TCU trailed only Alabama for the most times leading the nation in total defense. The Crimson Tide had been No. 1 six times, while all five No. 1 rankings (2000, 2002, 2008, 2009, 2010) for the Horned Frogs are in the last 20 seasons under Patterson. From 2008-10, TCU became just the third program in NCAA history to lead the nation in total defense in three consecutive seasons.

The hire of Patterson is key for Aranda who is set to work alongside defensive coordinator Matt Powledge and become the defensive play caller for Baylor in the 2024 season, while also coaching the interior linebackers. Patterson, who has a prior relationship with Aranda prior to his time in Waco, checked multiple boxes in the search for a candidate to fill the position, including experience as a head coach and a pedigreed defensive background to help the transition. Patterson was most recently a defensive analyst at the University of Texas in the 2022 season. 

 

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South Austin

South Austin 52,457

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2 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

That will be convenient to have him on staff after they shitcan Aranda when he starts 1-4.

Patterson could get a better head coaching gig than Baylor.  But if he's thinking at all about the possibility of being a head coach again, maybe he's positioning himself for the opportunity to stick it to TCU every season.

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ChiTownDoc

ChiTownDoc 21,144

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2 minutes ago, mdmost said:

How much spite can one man have for the school he used to coach at?

Football coaches spite like nobody else.  If Mack could get a gig that would legitimately put him in a position to compete against Texas he would be all over that shit.  But he can’t.  

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South Austin

South Austin 52,457

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5 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

All those years of hate and bad blood, feels like if say Switzer had joined our staff back in the 90s.  

No way, man.  Shit, we blew a gasket over the notion of hiring someone with the last name Stoops as a position coach.  We were happy to get Patterson on staff, but there's no way in hell Texas would have ever hired Barry fucking Switzer.  

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Surly Bevo

Surly Bevo 24,908

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Just now, South Austin said:

No way, man.  Shit, we blew a gasket over the notion of hiring someone with the last name Stoops as a position coach.  We were happy to get Patterson on staff, but there's no way in hell Texas would have ever hired Barry fucking Switzer.  

Right...the few Baylor fans I know that I have asked today; this hire is blowing their minds on that kind of level.  

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South Austin

South Austin 52,457

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Just now, Surly Bevo said:

Right...the few Baylor fans I know that I have asked today; this hire is blowing their minds on that kind of level.  

Really?  They should be thrilled to have Patterson on staff with the last couple of seasons they've had, and even moreso at the possibility of him coaching.  I guess that's a matter of perspective, though.  

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Surly Bevo

Surly Bevo 24,908

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Just now, South Austin said:

Really?  They should be thrilled to have Patterson on staff with the last couple of seasons they've had, and even moreso at the possibility of him coaching.  I guess that's a matter of perspective, though.  

Yea that's what I would think logically but to your point we don't have their "Revivalry" perspective.  Patterson to them., well he is a huge fat sweaty gaping pussy who also beat them a lot.  

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South Austin

South Austin 52,457

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3 minutes ago, Surly Bevo said:

Patterson to them., well he is a huge fat sweaty gaping pussy who also beat them a lot.  

Well, Baylor fans are idiotic (yeah, I know, news at 10).  Patterson also beat us a lot, and we were elated when Sark hired him, and were even excited at the possibility of him taking over as DC.

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52,487

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1 hour ago, South Austin said:

Patterson could get a better head coaching gig than Baylor.  But if he's thinking at all about the possibility of being a head coach again, maybe he's positioning himself for the opportunity to stick it to TCU every season.

Maybe he wants to be able to play at George’s most nights. 
 

or eat there- the menu is everything in sysco’s catalog. 

Edited by Pato del Muerto
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