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That ain't Shelley, Urban...

SarkAfterDark

By SarkAfterDark
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Since when is making fun of anti-vaxxers political? I thought that was just standard making fun of stupid people, which is what we do here. It's kind of the whole basis of this thread. 

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bad_teammate

bad_teammate 13,195

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1 hour ago, pops said:

Fuck all yall. The dirtiest mofo on the block and is probably only 2nd to Saban on the college coaching rankings.... bring that fucker in and let him wreck shit. 

Absolutely.

Let's do the full rehabilitation tour. Hire PR firms. Set him up with some kind of Cool Austin Preacher and take photos at the church. ESPN interview about lessons learned. Cooking show with Shelley.

I'm all in.

39 minutes ago, Deej said:

All fun and games until he's finger banging your daughter in the club. 

Do we get 10+ wins? Do I get to pet Bevo?

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BurntOrange&White

BurntOrange&White 39,931

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13 minutes ago, bad_teammate said:

Absolutely.

Let's do the full rehabilitation tour. Hire PR firms. Set him up with some kind of Cool Austin Preacher and take photos at the church. ESPN interview about lessons learned. Spin class show with Shelley.

I'm all in.

Do we get 10+ wins? Do I get to pet Bevo?

Fify

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25,921

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3 hours ago, USNALonghorn said:

We’re letting a recovering alcoholic and a mediocre HFC get a shot at “redemption” here, yet somehow the second best coach of the past 15 years isn’t good enough for us after a fuck up in the NFL… yeahokay.gif

 

3 hours ago, BurntOrange&White said:

He’s arguably a top 5 college coach all time. 

 

He was. He established a culture based on treating his players and staff like children. He succeeded in an era where players depended on being in his good graces to make money/get to the NFL. And he left those jobs early enough to not have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

What his brief, unlamented stint as arguably the worst NFL coach of all time proved was that when the players have agency, he is worthless. In the era of the Portal and NIL, his shit won't fly.

And we've already had a good enough sample of what his bullshit is like by hiring two of his better assistants as head coaches. He'll be just as bad as they were, if not worse.

Yeah, Sark may be mediocre, but Urban is done. It's impossible to imagine that he would succeed as a head coach at any level worth bothering about again.

Let's nip this absolute and utter stupidity in the bud now.

Edited by Rimbo
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Blotto

Blotto 23,498

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Not buying it Keyshawn. But if someone would have told me after the 2015 season  that there was a possibility of having both Meyer(12-1 in 2015) and Patterson(11-2 in 2015) on the staff at Texas supporting  head coach Steve Sarkisian ( cough...3-2 in 2015... cough), I'm not sure I would have believed you. 

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8,802

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13 hours ago, USNALonghorn said:

We’re letting a recovering alcoholic and a mediocre HFC get a shot at “redemption” here, yet somehow the second best coach of the past 15 years isn’t good enough for us after a fuck up in the NFL… yeahokay.gif

Hell no, his dammed fingers stink.

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C-Man

C-Man 27,217

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1 hour ago, Rimbo said:

 

 

He was. He established a culture based on treating his players and staff like children. He succeeded in an era where players depended on being in his good graces to make money/get to the NFL. And he left those jobs early enough to not have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

What his brief, unlamented stint as arguably the worst NFL coach of all time proved was that when the players have agency, he is worthless. In the era of the Portal and NIL, his shit won't fly.

And we've already had a good enough sample of what his bullshit is like by hiring two of his better assistants as head coaches. He'll be just as bad as they were, if not worse.

Yeah, Sark may be mediocre, but Urban is done. It's impossible to imagine that he would succeed as a head coach at any level worth bothering about again.

Let's nip this absolute and utter stupidity in the bud now.

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BurntOrange&White

BurntOrange&White 39,931

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7 hours ago, Rimbo said:

 

 

He was. He established a culture based on treating his players and staff like children. He succeeded in an era where players depended on being in his good graces to make money/get to the NFL. And he left those jobs early enough to not have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

What his brief, unlamented stint as arguably the worst NFL coach of all time proved was that when the players have agency, he is worthless. In the era of the Portal and NIL, his shit won't fly.

And we've already had a good enough sample of what his bullshit is like by hiring two of his better assistants as head coaches. He'll be just as bad as they were, if not worse.

Yeah, Sark may be mediocre, but Urban is done. It's impossible to imagine that he would succeed as a head coach at any level worth bothering about again.

Let's nip this absolute and utter stupidity in the bud now.

Nick Saban was also ass in the NFL but look how that turned out. So was Pete Carroll before USC. His style was never going to work in the nfl. 

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bad_teammate

bad_teammate 13,195

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Urban Meyer - .854
Steve Sarkisian - .548

"Oh but they sucked after he left!"

I don't care. Just keep him longer, then. Or hug the trophies that he'd win for us while we find the next winning coach.

Also, that was true of only 1 of his 4 head coaching stints. BG, Utah, and Ohio State were in fine shape when he left them.

"NIL means star players will just leave because he's too mean but also he's too lenient.. uhh both?"

Is he too mean or is he too lenient? Which is it?

It's bullshit. He never had a problem of players transferring out because he was so mean/not mean enough, and we have 17 years of track record.

----

We are dogshit. We have finished below .500 3 times in the last 7 years. The idea that we should turn our nose up at a .854 all-time head coach because he flamed out with the godawful joke of a team in Jacksonville and finger-bangs chicks who aren't his wife is insane.

Rest up, Urban. Fish, do some public relationships stunts with charities or whatever. Come up with some story about how Shelley sat you down and told you that you needed to return where you belonged, CFB.

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Pam Cummings

Pam Cummings 9,640

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Listen, i was definitely down for hiring Urban during this last cycle, but those obsessed with it need to go look in the mirror and repeat this phrase:

 

"Urban Meyer got fired from Ohio St"

 

Yeah, i know, he didn't technically get fired. But if they still wanted him there, he would be there. Urban fucking Meyer got canned at Ohio St. Think about that.

 

Then after what we saw from him at Jacksonville? That wasn't just a bad coaching job. It's one of the most embarassing public displays i've ever witnessed. Nobody is taking that dude seriously now.

 

Just forget all about that dumb shit.

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formermav43

formermav43 4,606

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1 hour ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Nick Saban was also ass in the NFL but look how that turned out. So was Pete Carroll before USC. His style was never going to work in the nfl. 

Carroll had an overall winning record, a division title, and two playoff appearances in 4 seasons. Saban was 9-7 and then 6-10.

Those aren’t at all comparable even without the spectacular implosion off the field.

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Texzilla58

Texzilla58 4,733

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Posted
Urban Meyer - .854
Steve Sarkisian - .548
"Oh but they sucked after he left!"
I don't care. Just keep him longer, then. Or hug the trophies that he'd win for us while we find the next winning coach.
Also, that was true of only 1 of his 4 head coaching stints. BG, Utah, and Ohio State were in fine shape when he left them.
"NIL means star players will just leave because he's too mean but also he's too lenient.. uhh both?"
Is he too mean or is he too lenient? Which is it?
It's bullshit. He never had a problem of players transferring out because he was so mean/not mean enough, and we have 17 years of track record.
----
We are dogshit. We have finished below .500 3 times in the last 7 years. The idea that we should turn our nose up at a .854 all-time head coach because he flamed out with the godawful joke of a team in Jacksonville and finger-bangs chicks who aren't his wife is insane.
Rest up, Urban. Fish, do some public relationships stunts with charities or whatever. Come up with some story about how Shelley sat you down and told you that you needed to return where you belonged, CFB.

If you haven’t noticed the world of CFB has changed. Urban can only Urban when he is supreme dictator. He was a joke in Jacksonville. What will he win in Austin when all his stars portal the fuck out when he’s calling them idiots or kicking them in practice?
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BurntOrange&White

BurntOrange&White 39,931

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4 minutes ago, formermav43 said:

Carroll had an overall winning record, a division title, and two playoff appearances in 4 seasons. Saban was 9-7 and then 6-10.

Those aren’t at all comparable even without the spectacular implosion off the field.

Shut up bitch, we’re getting Urban after Sarklostagain fails!

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BurntOrange&White

BurntOrange&White 39,931

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5 minutes ago, Texzilla58 said:


If you haven’t noticed the world of CFB has changed. Urban can only Urban when he is supreme dictator. He was a joke in Jacksonville. What will he win in Austin when all his stars portal the fuck out when he’s calling them idiots or kicking them in practice?

You act as urban coaches in 1990s. Games not much different from, checks notes, 2018. Urban knows the “game” except now it can be above board. 

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bad_teammate

bad_teammate 13,195

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I don't even dislike Steve. I'm a sunshine pumper. I believe Steve can get us to 8 wins next year and I'm optimistic that (or better!) will happen. But even I, a massive idiot, can see the phrase ".854 over 17 seasons" and realize that's not some kind of accident, no matter how many times people say vague things like "NIL changed everything" or try to argue that Urban is simultaneously too strict AND too lenient.

Regarding NIL, it's not just about kissing player ass. If you're a coach at an NIL-deal-rich school then you can hang the threat of processing out over their heads. It works both ways. There are guys getting pushed out of programs who will be losing money because the coaches didn't want them around anymore. With CUM at UT, it's "Play for one of the greats who puts guys in the NFL, make huge NIL money, and win a ton of games."

Right now we have "Play for a .500 guy who doesn't put anyone in the NFL, make huge NIL money, and hope to win half your games."

Oh no. We'd be screwed! The coaching fraternity in the state would hate us for it (they love us so much now!)! He would kick Xavier Worthy in the knee and key Bijan's Lambo! He would finger Plonsky's grand-daughter!

I have zero hope we actually ever get Urban Meyer, one of the greatest CFB coaches of all time, but there's a difference between, "I'll never sleep with Salma Hayek" and "Actually, Salma Hayek is ugly and I wouldn't want to anyway."

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Eggo

Eggo 3,977

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50 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Amber Heard never had a prime. Dumb fucking comparison. 

 

50 minutes ago, formermav43 said:

Better than your NFL one.

 

48 minutes ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Better than your being born one. 

Better than your mom.

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tx 3 putt

tx 3 putt 76,908

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On 5/4/2022 at 7:57 PM, TexasGolf said:

night shift reporting…
 

Urban Meyer to Texas? Keyshawn Johnson makes bold claim about embattled coach

https://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/sports/urban-meyer-to-texas-keyshawn-johnson-makes-bold-claim-about-embattled-coach/

 

if sark fails, ut will be beyond desperate to make a 'good' hire. if it's urban, ut big cigars won't give a fuck about him chasing ass

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Rimbo

Rimbo 25,921

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4 hours ago, BurntOrange&White said:

Nick Saban was also ass in the NFL but look how that turned out. So was Pete Carroll before USC. His style was never going to work in the nfl. 

Urban isn't Nick. Urban isn't Pete. The coach, and the times, are different.

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