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That ain't Shelley, Urban...

SarkAfterDark

By SarkAfterDark
in Football

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Prepuce of Doom
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Since when is making fun of anti-vaxxers political? I thought that was just standard making fun of stupid people, which is what we do here. It's kind of the whole basis of this thread. 

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Doc Reeves

Doc Reeves 6434

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Just now, Brothahorn said:
7 hours ago, Doc Reeves said:

my wife has orchestrated a 5 chick blowjob for me once one wild night after a concert. 
she would absolutely divorce me and take my kids if she saw me do what Urbie did

Is this the thing were if you get permission, she is involved it is okay? Cuckquean?


Not really like that. This was a long time ago before we were married. My wife used to like getting drunk girls to do shit like take off their clothes and other stuff at clubs. She’s a piper when it comes to drunk girls, it was really a thing to behold back in the day. For what ever reason that what she directed the sluts to do. As far as for a story it was great, but having 5 uncoordinated, drunk chicks who are mostly doing it for show punch your junk was like putting your Dick in a rock tumbler.   

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Bevo14

Bevo14 8304

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1 hour ago, Doc Reeves said:


Not really like that. This was a long time ago before we were married. My wife used to like getting drunk girls to do shit like take off their clothes and other stuff at clubs. She’s a piper when it comes to drunk girls, it was really a thing to behold back in the day. For what ever reason that what she directed the sluts to do. As far as for a story it was great, but having 5 uncoordinated, drunk chicks who are mostly doing it for show punch your junk was like putting your Dick in a rock tumbler.   

Super powers are real. Who knew?

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WinningIsHard

WinningIsHard 4030

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3 hours ago, nnm said:

My favorite was Larry Craig, former US Senator from Idaho (notice, no party affiliation notation—no CR) who got busted trolling for same sex company in an airport bathroom, and blamed it on having a “wide stance” when dropping a deuce. He subsequently pleaded guilty and dropped off the radar. 
Just own it, for goodness sake. 

Dennis Leary had a bit in one of his comedy stand ups about that senator and it was fucking hilarious. 
disappointed season 3 GIF by Animal Kingdom on TNT

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jimmyjazz

jimmyjazz 45903

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3 hours ago, mr. sunshine said:

Wonder why ESPN is still desperately clinging to it’s “a young lady was dancing near his lap” narrative even at this hour 

Well, she was dancing near his lap.  If it wasn't for his index finger half penetrating her asshole, she would have been dancing on his lap.

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Aqua Buddha

Aqua Buddha 14590

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The guy who posted this original brings a VERY Ohio angle to the story:

And the most curious thing about this scandal that rocked one of the biggest celebrities in coaching was the sleuth who unearthed it. 

Byrnes, 34 years old, has worn many hats. He once got in trouble for allegedly trying to rob some drug dealers in Montana. He took classes at Ohio State, though he never graduated, and still roots for the football team. He ran for the Ohio state house of representatives and lost, garnering just 24.5% of the vote. He currently pens a newsletter, The Rooster, that mainly focuses on local politics.   

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Prepuce of Doom

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19 hours ago, PassiveAggressiveCoach said:

I bet. She loves the bucks so much she even figured out a way to start at center.

 

nebraska.PNG

Let's take a moment to appreciate just what a terrible promotional photo this is. 

-The eye is immediately drawn to the Suicide Awareness billboard in the background. Nothing makes people more jazzed to click through a bunch of nonsense hashtags than being reminded of suicide. 

-The word "ALONE" is the only legible word in the shot. More warm and fuzzy stuff. 

-She's standing in the middle of a street, engaged in a location-inappropriate activity, and not paying any attention to her surroundings (dangerous and dumb, suggests reckless obliviousness and/or disregard for inconveniencing motorists), but yet, just far enough from the actual center that it's visually unappealing.

-The street and surrounding areas have hardly any other people, further communicating a message of aloneness. 

-She's elected to stand with both feet in the only puddle around. 

-She's clearly thrown that ball to herself, once again reinforcing her aloneness. 

-The photo itself is so poorly timed that half the football is cropped out. 

This is all fine for some random Instagram dingbat, but not really a great look when posted from the account of a digital media company that's supposed to be good at this shit. 

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Handcruser

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Let's take a moment to appreciate just what a terrible promotional photo this is. 
-The eye is immediately drawn to the Suicide Awareness billboard in the background. Nothing makes people more jazzed to click through a bunch of nonsense hashtags than being reminded of suicide. 
-The word "ALONE" is the only legible word in the shot. More warm and fuzzy stuff. 
-She's standing in the middle of a street, engaged in a location-inappropriate activity, and not paying any attention to her surroundings (dangerous and dumb, suggests reckless obliviousness and/or disregard for inconveniencing motorists), but yet, just far enough from the actual center that it's visually unappealing.
-The street and surrounding areas have hardly any other people, further communicating a message of aloneness. 
-She's elected to stand with both feet in the only puddle around. 
-She's clearly thrown that ball to herself, once again reinforcing her aloneness. 
-The photo itself is so poorly timed that half the football is cropped out. 
This is all fine for some random Instagram dingbat, but not really a great look when posted from the account of a digital media company that's supposed to be good at this shit. 

Man, I was thinking the same thing but you took a deep dive in to the details. Nicely done.

That image is awful. Just awful. She should feel bad.
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Bama Chick

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Let's take a moment to appreciate just what a terrible promotional photo this is. 
-The eye is immediately drawn to the Suicide Awareness billboard in the background. Nothing makes people more jazzed to click through a bunch of nonsense hashtags than being reminded of suicide. 
-The word "ALONE" is the only legible word in the shot. More warm and fuzzy stuff. 
-She's standing in the middle of a street, engaged in a location-inappropriate activity, and not paying any attention to her surroundings (dangerous and dumb, suggests reckless obliviousness and/or disregard for inconveniencing motorists), but yet, just far enough from the actual center that it's visually unappealing.
-The street and surrounding areas have hardly any other people, further communicating a message of aloneness. 
-She's elected to stand with both feet in the only puddle around. 
-She's clearly thrown that ball to herself, once again reinforcing her aloneness. 
-The photo itself is so poorly timed that half the football is cropped out. 
This is all fine for some random Instagram dingbat, but not really a great look when posted from the account of a digital media company that's supposed to be good at this shit. 

lol I thought it was a domestic violence PSA.

Both are equally bad. That’s the first thing my eye was drawn to.
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Guest Lobo

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15 minutes ago, Vertigo said:

Not sure why anyone would be spewing hate at Shelly over this.

200.gif

I do feel bad for her family and her being embarrassed by these social media virals.  
 

However, she is also a person of influence and has used it to spew propaganda and is a massive Qunt, and I don’t mean the kind that’s good at maths.  

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Barbacoa

Barbacoa 1934

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1 hour ago, BrazilHorn said:

her posts read like that crazy KarenKeyLargo Jimbo lover on Texags. She will want/crave the attention and return shortly.

KKL is the best thing going on the internet and she doesnt get the credit she deserves. Absolute psychopath in the persona of an old haggard florida lady who has a postmenopausal lust for a used car salesman football coach. She belongs in a Mike Judge show. 

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Blotto

Blotto 23498

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2 hours ago, Lobo said:

I do feel bad for her family and her being embarrassed by these social media virals.  
 

However, she is also a person of influence and has used it to spew propaganda and is a massive Qunt, and I don’t mean the kind that’s good at maths.  

Fuck her. Not for this incident, but for her covid bullshit. Her dropping off of social media is great news, which is why I know it wont last. she's also dumb as a rock. If she deleted her account, nobody would see her post, so of course she hasnt deleted shit. she's reading every damn comment after that "please feel sorry for me" crap. 

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MrBig

MrBig 5396

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This coach with 3 college championships was clamming up on the podium like Turtle Tom after a loss. Stuttering and acting like a bitch with mumbles, no eye contact and no accountability for what is clearly seen on the tape.

Now watch Sark’s interview after he apologizes to USC after partying. He’s embarrassed but he has the fucking balls to look people in the eye and say he fucked up. None of that pussy ass tail between the legs Urban shit. 

 

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Coelenterate Fuccboi

Coelenterate Fuccboi 13091

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6 hours ago, Prepuce of Doom said:

Let's take a moment to appreciate just what a terrible promotional photo this is. 

-The eye is immediately drawn to the Suicide Awareness billboard in the background. Nothing makes people more jazzed to click through a bunch of nonsense hashtags than being reminded of suicide. 

-The word "ALONE" is the only legible word in the shot. More warm and fuzzy stuff. 

-She's standing in the middle of a street, engaged in a location-inappropriate activity, and not paying any attention to her surroundings (dangerous and dumb, suggests reckless obliviousness and/or disregard for inconveniencing motorists), but yet, just far enough from the actual center that it's visually unappealing.

-The street and surrounding areas have hardly any other people, further communicating a message of aloneness. 

-She's elected to stand with both feet in the only puddle around. 

-She's clearly thrown that ball to herself, once again reinforcing her aloneness. 

-The photo itself is so poorly timed that half the football is cropped out. 

This is all fine for some random Instagram dingbat, but not really a great look when posted from the account of a digital media company that's supposed to be good at this shit. 

Weird, I see a girl who likes to play with balls and spends an unusual amount of time on her knees.

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Nicole44

Nicole44 22059

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15 minutes ago, JMFP said:
4 hours ago, Lobo said:
I don’t get all the flamingoes.   But I do like the first emoji being Urban’s finger.  

Pink flamingos means they're swingers...

So...like my neighbors that are having birthdays...(that have flamingos put in their yard to celebrate) they are swingers? 

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