Lincoln Riley throws covid parties at nursing homes.

[honolulu horn 6157]

Lincoln Riley loves the Seat Geek commercials. 

[TexLonghorn 5595]

Lincoln Riley made the Kessel Run, but it took him over 27 and a half parsecs.

[Pato del Muerto 52342]

Lincoln Riley eats poop and also rubs poop on his person while staring into a mirror saying “yeah linc”

[TexLonghorn 5595]

When the Trix rabbit showed up at Lincoln Riley's house looking for some sweet, sweet cereal, Lincoln Riley looked at him, said "Silly rabbit!" and then chopped him up into tiny chunks with a meat cleaver.

 

Edited October 5, 2021 by TexLonghorn

[Wishbone 4739]

Fuck Lincoln Riley. We don’t need this thread, do we? Yeah, I know, carry on!

[Longboard Horn 40149]

Lincoln Riley kicks puppies and hates Jesus

[Dnaguy 11777]

Lincoln Riley licks peanut butter off his dog's balls

Edited October 5, 2021 by Dnaguy

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley pays for his groceries with a check. Then enters it into the ledger before leaving. 

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley googles answers then shouts them out at trivia night. 

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley buys la Victoria salsa

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley quickly removes his debit card from the chip reader. 

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley's favorite star wars character is Rose. 

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley asked Jade for her chili recipe. 

[Your Mom 4797]

Lincoln Riley is the child of two people who think it's ok to give your kid a last name for a first name.

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley still uses windows 95 because he hasn't agreed with the new terms of service in decades. 

[Eggo 3975]

Lincoln Riley answers "Yes" when they ask if he wants salsa to go with his breakfast tacos, then doesn't use it. 

[Eggo 3975]

Lincoln Riley hated Norm MacDonald.

 

RIP

[Nueces River Rat 5530]

Lincoln Riley like beans in his chili.  

[Nueces River Rat 5530]

Lincoln Riley uses lumber scraps for his BBQ

[Satoshi 129]

Lincoln Riley likes the canned tamales. 

[Satoshi 129]

Lincoln Riley responds “livin the dream” anytime someone asks how he’s doing

[Satoshi 129]

Lincoln Riley enjoys living in Oklahoma 

[dcbc 14415]

Lincoln Riley thinks the game should be moved to Jerruhworld.

[Satoshi 129]

Lincoln Riley prefers they just lay a slice of bacon on the eggs in his breakfast taco 

[Guest Lobo]

Lincoln Riley's first dance at his wedding was set to the tune of, "1-877-Kars-for-Kids." 

[Bill Lumbergh 7171]

Lincoln Riley posts on Twitter as Rap Game Larry.

[honolulu horn 6157]

Lincoln Riley always takes the urinal or stall next to the occupied one. 

[honolulu horn 6157]

Lincoln Riley gives out pencils to trick-or-treaters.

Edited October 5, 2021 by honolulu horn

[Satoshi 129]

Lincoln Riley is looking to add KarenKeyLargo to his operations staff 

[TexTexTex 104]

Lincoln Riley said 2020 was a great year

[pops 6974]

Lincoln Riley thinks ''ok. boomer'' is a compliment. 

[TexTexTex 104]

Lincoln Riley puts up his Christmas decorations before Halloween....and leaves them out until February 

[Guest Lobo]

Lincoln Riley gets to McDonald's at 10:30a on Sundays and idles in the drive-thru line until 11:01 to order so nobody else gets breakfast.

['stache 21777]

Lincoln Riley thinks that the Applebees "fancy" commercial is marketing genius and wishes they'd play it more often during live games.

[Victor Franko 39]

Lincoln Riley is the son of a thousand fathers, all bastards like him.

[Nueces River Rat 5530]

Lincoln Riley once sneezed and coughed all over the food line at Luby's

[honolulu horn 6157]

Lincoln Riley doesn't sterilize his lids before canning. 

[SlingeroGuitaro 189]

Lincoln Riley decorates for Halloween in May

Edited October 5, 2021 by SlingeroGuitaro

[El Squared 1793]

Lincoln Riley fantasizes about getting fingerbanged by Urban Meyer, like NotShelley.

[El Squared 1793]

When Lincoln Riley showed his manhood to his girl for the first time he introduced it as his schlong....she said it looked more like a schling.

Edited October 5, 2021 by El Squared

[SlingeroGuitaro 189]

Lincoln Riley smells like sulfur

 

[IDIOTsavant 8453]

I'm sure it's already been said and is possibly the meanest thing I've ever said, but:

Lincoln Riley thinks he makes great brisket.

[coachherman'sgrill 1982]

Lincoln Riley really liked the last season of GoT.

[coachherman'sgrill 1982]

Lincoln Riley doesn't have a favorite hot sauce because they all give him heartburn.

[coachherman'sgrill 1982]

Lincoln Riley thought that the girl Urb's was finger blasting was a solid Oklahoma 14.

[orange dream 1241]

Lincoln Riley wasn't born in Oklahoma but he got there as fast as he could.

Lincoln Riley was born in Texas but his daddy put a jar of Oklahoma dirt under the birthing table so he could say he was born over Oklahoma soil.

Edited October 5, 2021 by orange dream

[HornOnTheBayou 8881]

1 hour ago, coachherman'sgrill said:

Lincoln Riley thought that the girl Urb's was finger blasting was a solid Oklahoma 14.

Have you seen the women in Oklahoma? Lincoln Riley would actually be correct in that assessment. 

[Nueces River Rat 5530]

Lincoln Riley said Texas High School football sucks

[lemonandaturd 4285]

When he retires, Lincoln Riley wants to join Tim Brando in the broadcast booth.   

[Eskimohorn 5615]

Lincoln Riley leads two significant PACs: Keeping the Lincoln Penny and Saving Daylight Savings Time. He’s also amassed wealth not from coaching but from operating cable monopolies. Thats in addition to his family’s fortune which was built from Osage Indian Conservatorships and Tulsa Black Wall Street pillaging.